I had a relatively traditional Punjabi wedding 4+ years ago; gold was involved. Not a lot, mind you (we’re no Chatwals). But my wife did get some heavy-looking gold necklace-and-earring ‘sets’ from both her own family and my extended family at the time of the wedding. Later, I came to wonder about the point of it all, since the majority of that jewelry simply can’t be worn ever again. (You’d look silly wearing such heavy jewelry at anything but your own wedding.)
Amongst urban Indians, gold is going out of fashion in general:
“My daughters keep saying, ‘Nothing yellow, nothing yellow.’ For them, gold is old,” Bhardwaj said in her living room while sporting three gold rings, bangles, a chain and earrings. A painting of a 16th-century Mughal empress embellished with 24-karat gold decorated the wall.
Her 21-year-old daughter, Sonam Bhardwaj, has had it up to here with gold. “I think it is too gaudy and chunky,” she said with a look of disgust. “Look at my mother.”
In India, where an economic boom has taken hold and tastes are noticeably shifting, Sonam represents one of the newest consumers on the block — a young urban woman who has distanced herself from India’s deep-rooted gold tradition.
Today there are legions of young Indians whose eyes twinkle not at the sight of gold but at the sight of luxury goods. Sonam, for example, is hoping for a new Nokia Nseries phone next month for Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights. She already has a pair of Versace sunglasses and a Guess bag in her collection of fineries. (link)
For me, this transition seems to be an interesting case of a changing economic structure leading to unconscious changes in cultural values and practices. Insofar as most Indians used to be suspicious of banks and credit, gold was the central denomination in life’s most important rituals. New brides were given jewelry in gold partly because the gold itself was a rock-solid economic asset, and I gather the jewelry was usually considered a part of the dowry ‘trousseau’ as well. In a more “liquified” consumer driven system, on the other hand, gold seems dull — static and dusty, like the Gold Standard itself.
Am I speculating too much here, or is there really some sort of unconscious connection between the psychology of the change in fashion and the changing macroeconomic paradigm?
Secondly, does anyone want to defend gold wedding jewelry, and the traditionalism it represents? (Would you rather have gold, diamonds, or something entirely different — say, a Blackberry ‘Pearl’ — as a wedding present?)
I got my desi friends this, which i just adored the moment i saw it inthe store. the friends were probably expecting some fancy ass (and useless) gizmo because their reaction was meh. but i guess that’s typical of any ethnic society when childhood friends diverge into different societal structures. so My feel is this article is reflective of the urban bourgeoisie. Gold still rools.
Is it still considered taboo to sell jewelry? From a purely economic standpoint it makes sense to pick an appreciating asset over a depreciating one but only if it’s kosher to sell an heirloom of sorts.
These are cycles that mirror tastes among younger women in general. Gold (yellow, at least) had already become less popular in general among younger women for a while, and actually it’s starting already to make a comeback. I think the brown community trends are just lagging behind those. I recently got married and my non brown wife has long felt gold to be the standard among older women rather than among her peers. My brown aunts & cousins do seem to value nonyellow jewelry more these days. But don’t give up on gold just yet, I think it hit a 25-30 yr high recently. I wonder, how long before the pendulum swings back again?
Hmm just last night I was trying on the 2 gold sets my parents are giving me for my upcoming wedding. I personally find them GORGEOUS…and even if I never wear them again (except for the occassional weddings and parties) I want to have them because my parents chose them…it’s like an extension of theirselves. The phones, bags, etc will eventually get out of style, I mean who holds on to the old Nokia from years ago as a heirloom?…My in laws are giving me sets too, and currently the gold prices are so high so I feel terrible about them spending too much $$ on me, but for them it’s so ingrained traditionally that they can’t imagine giving me anything but the jewelry.
I’d be down for jewelry made from recycled metals. I don’t think the family would understand.
Gold more or less retains its value and is a good investment. Nokia is not. But I guess rich people can afford both
Bad news for the gold souk in Dubai…
I dunno about selling it… but i know my mom has no problem buying it from the Desi version of a pawn shop dealer. I got mad and told her it was like buying other people’s dreams.
about gold jewelry… i’m 27 and i regularly wear indian gold jewelry when just going out with friends — like a pair of earings, a ring, a bracelt, etc. i love it. i love that its yellowy and gorgeous and has a luster that my friends all envy. most importantly i love the craftsmanship.
gold is over-rated. the prime focus in many weddings is the bride’s jewellery…even if it doesnt match the clothes..the bride has to wear loads of it…and that too shiny…and then for every occasion birthday, engagement the gift is gold. my diamonds are called “khada” (stones) 🙁 and most rural women think its not worth much. good…dont hav to worry abt thm whn going to temples and other crowded places
In the south at least, gold is still very valuable, and most girls still want to own a lot of gold jewellery. The difference is that they now also have: (a) lighter gold ornaments for everyday wear and (b) gadgets, perfumes and other consumer goods. These are additional items of value, not replacements for traditional ones.
My reading is this. We Indians have always had aspirations for foreign goods and fashions (the legends about relatives back in the desh wanting soaps and perfumes). This remains, but the difference is that these goods are now more easily available and affordable.
So, would you rather have gold, diamonds, or something entirely different � say, a Blackberry ‘Pearl’ � as a wedding present? I think the answer of most girls would be — both.
Yeah, those “rural women” are scary!
Paging HMF….
I had an antique gold set with stones for my wedding. I’m South Indian and for us 22k multiple sets are usually the traditional choice to wear for brides. But I wanted something traditional yet something I would wear again. I would never wear a heavy thick long necklace again. Come to think of it, I’ve never had the opportunity to wear my wedding jewelry again either or my wedding sari. But I love them both dearly and would like to think I would wear them or pass them down. The gold prices are ridiculously high these days, if you wanted to sell them I dont’ think there’s anything wrong with it. Taboo or not. In the old days jewelry was your safety net/equity. If some financial disaster happened, I have heard stories of ppl selling their jewelry to keep their family afloat. I guess trading it in for a downpayment on a house is the same type of thing.
ummm…many of them are my relatives…but my point was that many ppl is smaller towns and villages are not aware of the value of diamonds. and if u go in temples on spl days like dussehra or diwali (thats the only time we go) u have to be very very careful.
Fair enough–my parents are always complaining that the temple they go to (in ny) is too crowded…still, does shock me a bit that someone would try to take your gold jewelry–talk about “unclear on the concept”!
Well, I think Gold never goes out of fashion. I wore diamonds with my white bridal dress and then changed into a red sequined sari for the reception/dinner and matched it with a LOT of gold that my parents Plus what my in-laws gave me! Felt like a queen for one day 🙂 But now just ten months later, everythings in the locker!
I have very very strict instruction from my mum AND my mum in law never ever to give away even a piece of my gold to ANYONE. Gold is an asset they say, meant to come to your rescue when all doors are closed and you’re in dire need. Plus some of it has passed down from generations so there’s the emotional attachment.
Also, I know a lot of Tamil friends whose folks give as much importance to diamonds as to gold- especialy nose and ear studs and kadas. Not sure if that hold true for Keralites in general as well.
I love the richness of 24k gold. The deep rich color. It stands out when you wear another piece of gold of lesser karats. As well if given a choice of jewelery or an electronic gift. 99.9% of the time I will opt for the jewelery. Especially if it’s a good piece of gold. (even better if I can get really good gold and really high quality diamonds) I would say to all young woman – take the gold. I was given bangles and such from a young age and when a day came that I no longer had a husband and there wasn’t a job for me to pay bills. That treasure trove of gold given over the years saved my life. How I wish I still had some of those pieces now. The sentimental value of some of those now are more important to me. But I always remember I didn’t give them up for nothing. I rescued my life with those items. Saving my honor in the process. So now when I give to my nieces I send gold jewelery with the same prayers that in their lives they have happiness and security. I also send a little cash to be put side for them. But the gold will last longer and can be fun to wear as well in later years may be a life saver.
I always feel – when it comes to gold, less is more. for everyday wear, there is nothing better than a small gold stud earring or a thin gold necklace with rhodium in it..that stuff looks classy to me… And if you hav eheavy gold that you don’t exactly wear, you can always melt it to make it into something more fashionable or sell it somewhere where you’ll get a good price…no biggie.
Like Lusterbee, I often wear my gold jewelry when going out. Or to work. It’s not the wedding worthy stuff, but sometimes you can pull of a piece here or there (I don’t like my kids’ parents thinking I can afford that shit though).
Most of my stuff is OLD, super old, like from before my grandparents, so wearing it makes me feel connected to them in some ridiculous way.
And I don’t agree that less is more. Sometimes more is beautiful. I love the look of a desi bride laden with heavy gold jewelry. Excessive? Of course. But still.
P.S. Anyone else’s parents or grandparents make reference to American gold? My grandmother used that term to describe 14 or 18 karat gold, which used to make me howl with laughter. She also used to call cubic zirconia “American diamonds.” Ha ha ha.
gaaah! can we please have a more man-ly topic here please!
i’m drowning in the mush flood!!!
Yes, I remember that term being used as if American Diamonds were somehow high tech when in reality they’re no better than the crystals adorning all the $10 T-shirts you see in Times Square.
gaaah! can we please have a more man-ly topic here please! i’m drowning in the mush flood!!!
Random guy, I’m perfectly happy to have a discussion about fashions in wedding jewelry, but in my post I also opened up a window for discussions of the role of economics in this if people were interested. The Bretton Woods agreement, India’s import duties on consumer goods, and the rise and fall of Middle East gold smuggling are all factors in the changing value of “gold” in India… Feel free to draw the connection to Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and 9/11!
Or not 😉
I personally can’t stand heavy gold jewelry, but then I grew up with no real sentimental attachment to it. Aunties in my extended family, on the other hand, definitely do treasure it and pass it on. Out of curiosity, is it gold or silver that’s supposed to look better with darker skin tones? I’ve always thought that gold looked way too yellow to look good on brown skin, but that’s just me.
I grew up not being a real fan of gold – wore silver most of the time. Got the usual gold jewellery when I got married – some I liked, some I thought was excessive. Well, many moons later, I am glad my mother persisted in the age-old tradition of stashing away a lit bit of this and that for me! I have a lovely collection of “everyday” gold jewellery plus some beautiful heavier pieces. Maybe gold appreciation comes with age because when I was younger I would have preferred that Nokia. But as someone else mentioned, that Nokia will have no value in a few years while the gold will still be around…
Gold is such the norm in India & within Indian culture. In our family, if you’re celebrating an engagement, wedding, baptism, communion, confirmation…you name it…my Indian relatives always gave me gold as presents. So once my mom have my cousin who’s more Canadian than she is Indian, a really good bood as her commumion gift (my mom’s big on reading & education). Well! my aunt was upset that my mom didn’t gift her daughter gold instead! Ha! My mom’s got all these really nice sets that she wants to give me but I can’t see my self wearing it. Not that I don’t like yellow gold…& the Indian kind (22K)…I just don’t like it on me. I’m more of a white gold/ platinum/ silver kind of person.
On the flip side, West Indians (my in laws are West Indian) LOOOOVE Indian gold. That 22K Gold gleams & shines for them like no other & the fact that it looks heavy. West Indian gold is mixed with copper rendering it a bit dull, so, Indian gold to them is like no other.
My sister who’s 23 and works for an IT firm is crazy about gadgets. She spent one month’s salary on a Nokia N series cell phone, (which is butt ugly) while I buy the phone with maximum mail in rebate here. She has 3 iPods of different capacities. She wants me to buy her a notebook computer or a DSLR the next time I go to India. I sometimes wonder why she (and her friends) consider these gadgets as a status symbol? Because they can’t wear heavy gold jewelry everyday? She doesn’t stop buying gold though. I believe she has as much jewelry as my Mom does. (I refuse to wear gold, so Mom buys it for her.)
I, on the other hand, left my only piece of gold jewelry before I first flew to USA. I know I am going to buy some gold jewelry if I get married, but I’ll never wear it on an everyday basis.
In older days banking not considered safe so people used to give Gold to their daughters for their harder days. Now it just became a symbol of prestige and honor. Most Desi and some western women still thinks it as a investment, which is total BS. If I can I’ll sell all my gold and get myself a property or bonds which really comes handy when needed.
I love gold. I wear it every occasion I get. Chunky or otherwise. Can’t imagine getting techy stuff as wedding gifts. Plus old heirlooms have an allure that nothing can match really. I’ve been collecting/buying pieces from my extended family in the hope I can treasure it.
When it comes to cultural change in India (in general), I think A LOT of it is very self-conscious.
I don’t care about the gold issue too much per se. I do think it’s cool that Indian jewelry is 22 karat as opposed to American which is what, 14? And pure gold bars are a beautiful sight to behold.
Actually, for something like a wedding present from some random auntie i’d prolly want a kitchen aid mixer or a gift certificate to crate & barrel. Honestly, I totally agree with Anju who said
I think i’d play up the sentimental value. My parents, aunts, uncles, and grandmothers have always given me jewelry for major birthdays and I will always remember who gave me what and why.
Ah…a topic my husband would love. He is still in shock in regards to the bling I got for my wedding.
The designs are stunning but for me, it’s a bit much. I don’t wear much yellow gold in general but knowing that my mom saved for every single piece makes it all the more valuable for me.
However, I’d rather get the jewellery than the techie stuff or even cash. The sentiments are way better than a piece of equipment that might fry on its third use.
There is something deeply sentimental about gold . . . especially that which is passed down from the women in my family. I guess I will always treasure gold because I know it is something that I can pass down to my (future) daughters as well. I work in a law firm where dresscode is pretty conservative, but I do still like to incorporate some small gold pieces into my outfits — at the end of the day, I am both American and Indian 🙂
I did a rapid fire glance through the comments and it seems a lot more to do with fashion. However, I think Amardeep you have raised a very valid point regarding the economic aspect. This is something I have observed too. In the pre-liberalized economy, Gold was definitely a solid investment and gold was more valued in India. This was the time of little free cash and budgeted existences for the middle class. Thus giving gold was a norm. And the rock heavy jewelery was never really used too much – I have never seen my mom wear her marriage stuff, says it’s too ‘jatka’. I would think this was done historically too and continued on till recently. Now with a lot more cash and a booming stock and real estate market and the awareness that has also come, I have seen a lot more inclination to invest in stocks and land in India. Thus I have seen middle class gifts moving from gold to these. Gold is still exchanged but it has become a little less important and more to do with tradition and ceremony. I doubt blackberries would ever be preferred.
Of course gold would never go out of style completely economically too. We see this in the economic circles all the time, when the markets are low and the bond market is not that favored either. You cant exactly keep oil in your locker.
Back in the day, gold was a woman’s only financial asset of her own. If you husband got ill, couldn’t work, or beat you to a bloody pulp, you could sell you gold and survive for a while.
Or you could sell it for other reasons — my great-grandmother sold her gold to support the Khilafat movement in the 20s. Given the ultimate fate of the Caliphate, investing in AT&T stock would have been a wiser investment decision, but it was hard to find a good financial advisor in rural UP.
I suppose now that India is a feminist paradise, spousal abuse is a thing of the past, and women have complete financial security, there is no reason for women to worry about financial independence any more. So go ahead, chuck the gold, go for the fast-depreciating Nokia phone.
random facts on gold.
overall gold consumption in india
top three consumers – us, india, china
I have seen such articles since liberalization of imports in 1990. But the facts don’t support gold substitution theory. It is gold + all other stuff. Gold demand in India has only one direction to go, i.e. up.
See India 07 gold demand seen jumping by 50 pct This has gold import figures for the years 1996 to 2001. With increased economic growth, the demand for gold has only increased.
Okay – Mallu woman here(Not Mallu enough to claim to be representative, though). But here are my two cents. Gold, as you know, is very important in Malluland. At most mallu weddings, the bride can barely stand up straight because she’s covered from chin to navel with gold. A veritable armour that,I think, would deflect a bullet or two. Which is all fine, if gold is what rocks your boat. If you can choose your shoes or your haircolour, you should be able to choose your metal. Perfectly acceptable.
Unfortunately, in most of Kerala, gold isn’t a matter of choice. Not having a daughter laden with gold on her wedding day translates into an immediate loss of prestige; or earning the ire of family and friends for not ‘providing enough’ for your daughter. It also functions as a euphemism for dowry. I know women in my family who start collecting gold for their newborn daughters in anticipation of the big day. I also know relatives who’ve reduced themselves to bankruptcy because they’ve had to buy gold for their daughters weddings. This is compounded by women who don’t take a strong enough stand on how much gold they want to wear (as opposed to how much society would deem fit).
I’m not a very big fan of gold. It could be because of the cultural context that I’ve seen gold function in or it could be because I generally don’t wear clothes that complement the whole look. Last week it was my mum’s birthday and I offered to buy her gold. We visited the jeweller’s and she picked out a pretty pearl-studded bracelet. She caught me yawning a few times. And she figured that I found the exercise just about as fascinating as shopping for vegetables. She, for the life of her, cannot figure out why gold doesn’t excite me. I don’t know if I’m in a minority, but gold totally does not do it for me. It doesn’t appeal to me economically, emotionally or aesthetically. I’d much rather buy myself a gadget. So yes, I can empathise with the girl who wants the N Series.
The Washington Post article is making my head spin. I am not sure if anyone for one second believes that Nokia N series and Gold are mutually exclusive. Like Jay mentioned upthread, Gold is at a 27 year high at $761 and ounce dropping marginally from more than $800 an ounce and is pegged to cross $1,000. I feel it is returning better than most American Mutual Funds. I don’t think we can read too much into a bigger macroeconomic effect just because some people want a mobile phone for Diwali instead of gold.
I am always surprised at the desire to find/spot trends in Indian tradition. Many a reporter and copywriter have made their careers churning out articles with these themes. India is estimated to have the world’s largest private hoard of gold – that includes individuals, and of course our mandirs and kovils. The bride-to-be featured in the article here actually wants a new Nokia and gold. Not the one instead of the other. Amardeep, it looks like you wisely chose to stay out of the decisions on gold at your wedding. Women rule, men better keep out!
Hate yellow gold. I hated it when I got married 4 years ago but still got the signature sets from the parents and in laws. I tried to have them limit the gold or mix it with other stones, which they did, but I still got it as gifts from other family members. Now I have a bunch of gold that I haven’t even touched since I got married (except for the bracelets) because nothing I own looks good with gold jewelry. Instead I love all the stone jewelry which goes great with Indian clothing.
Older women look at it as an investment, but they have memories attached to the pieces, so I don’t see them ever selling them to make money. Anytime I think of that, it reminds me of all the melodramatic Indian movies and dramas where the women collect all their gold and sell it to save the family from financial ruin. I, on the other hand, can’t wait to take all my gold to India (minus the pieces from my parents and in-laws) and trade it in for stuff I like!
England has become the biggest consumer of gold in Europe, largely because of the South Asian community there, hitting the shops in Leicester and Southall. Mile after mile of gold shops.
Nitya @27, I hear ya.
Keralites have a longstanding love of gold, but the gold bulletproofing of brides that shows up at Mallu weddings these days is clearly part of the cultural shift that has come with Gulf money.
Ask any Mallu over 45 and they’ll tell you that this is a new phenomenon. And the regional gold dealers have learned well from their western predecessors, elevating previously unheard of holidays like Akshaya Tritiya in the same way that DeBeers successfully created the diamond engagement ring phenomenon.
Kerala is currently the only state in India with a higher ratio of women to men. Given what the ‘girls side’ is expected to shell out these days, I wonder whether that will change. Case in point – my Kerala cousins regularly tell me about classmates and neighbors who live in thatched roof homes whose families shell out 10 lakhs (approx. $25,000) and beyond JUST for jewelry for their daughters.
God only knows what they’ve had to do and give up to get this money, and it saddens me that supposedly the most progressive state in India is regressing in this manner. So when I see a Mallu girl draped in gold from elbow to wrist, neck to waist, I don’t find it beautiful in the least. I find it vulgar and tragic and a sign that India’s supposedly most progressive state is regressing.
Sorry, I meant Nitya@37.
“I think it is too gaudy and chunky,â€
funnily enough, that would be an apt description for a lot of western designer products as well (chunky and gaudy or chunky and/or gaudy). having your name/logo plastered all over a product is quite gaudy in itself and some of versace’s products like their china/accessories/bed linens/shirts define the word gaudy.
Hip Hop artists stole their bling aesthetic from us.
I realize I might get battered for this, but I have a problem with the culture of wedding gifts in this day and age. Fine if you’re getting married just out of school or really are just setting up your life, but if the idea is to help me establish a financial foothold, I could have used that help when I graduated from college, when I was making a career change, or for starting a business. Not now that I am more established, doubly-incomed and also considering marriage.
I find it a joke that this is the point in my life when people want to give me gifts. To hell with it! The future Mr. Kavita and I are planning to ‘register’ with non-profits and NGOs who can do far more with the money than what I can do a new and unnecessary Calphalon saucepan.
I hear you, sistah! Death to the god of the innumerable wallclocks and prestige pressure cookers.
A wise man once said “Gold is the opium of Indian girls”. Ok, I just made that up.
On a serious note, lot of south Indian guys do wear lot of jewelry. One of my uncles wears 3 chains, 5 rings and one bracelet (all made of 24 carat gold). He looks like “walking talking” jewelry shop.
I’ve seen this happen. I stayed with my grandmum sometime last year. And her driver’s daughter had just got married. He invited my grandmother to bless the newly weds. My grandmum obliged. I tagged along. We reached this tiny little place. Thatched roof, one 40 Watt bulb, a stove in the corner, and five people huddled in the room. As we entered, the bride was sent away and asked to put on all her gold and come back inside. She came back inside with tea and biscuits. She was covered with gold; perhaps enough to buy the family a decent place to move into or to start a small business. It upsets me when I think about the logic of it all.
I agree about the new phenomenon bit too. My mother tells me things weren’t as OTT in her time.
Gold is still in a big big demand in the weddings and dare I say will stay like that for a while because of its liquid value. The gold bussiness in diwali and wedding season is still increasing and its makes total sense to me because its an excellent form of saving where the asset is quite easily sellable but still is not cash so not easily spendable. Diamond on the other hand is a total different animal, People think of it as a good investment and women think of it as an expensive present, but the reality is that it loses it value after it comes out of store faster then a brand new car coming out of a showroom.