I had a relatively traditional Punjabi wedding 4+ years ago; gold was involved. Not a lot, mind you (we’re no Chatwals). But my wife did get some heavy-looking gold necklace-and-earring ‘sets’ from both her own family and my extended family at the time of the wedding. Later, I came to wonder about the point of it all, since the majority of that jewelry simply can’t be worn ever again. (You’d look silly wearing such heavy jewelry at anything but your own wedding.)
Amongst urban Indians, gold is going out of fashion in general:
“My daughters keep saying, ‘Nothing yellow, nothing yellow.’ For them, gold is old,” Bhardwaj said in her living room while sporting three gold rings, bangles, a chain and earrings. A painting of a 16th-century Mughal empress embellished with 24-karat gold decorated the wall.
Her 21-year-old daughter, Sonam Bhardwaj, has had it up to here with gold. “I think it is too gaudy and chunky,” she said with a look of disgust. “Look at my mother.”
In India, where an economic boom has taken hold and tastes are noticeably shifting, Sonam represents one of the newest consumers on the block — a young urban woman who has distanced herself from India’s deep-rooted gold tradition.
Today there are legions of young Indians whose eyes twinkle not at the sight of gold but at the sight of luxury goods. Sonam, for example, is hoping for a new Nokia Nseries phone next month for Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights. She already has a pair of Versace sunglasses and a Guess bag in her collection of fineries. (link)
For me, this transition seems to be an interesting case of a changing economic structure leading to unconscious changes in cultural values and practices. Insofar as most Indians used to be suspicious of banks and credit, gold was the central denomination in life’s most important rituals. New brides were given jewelry in gold partly because the gold itself was a rock-solid economic asset, and I gather the jewelry was usually considered a part of the dowry ‘trousseau’ as well. In a more “liquified” consumer driven system, on the other hand, gold seems dull — static and dusty, like the Gold Standard itself.
Am I speculating too much here, or is there really some sort of unconscious connection between the psychology of the change in fashion and the changing macroeconomic paradigm?
Secondly, does anyone want to defend gold wedding jewelry, and the traditionalism it represents? (Would you rather have gold, diamonds, or something entirely different — say, a Blackberry ‘Pearl’ — as a wedding present?)
gold is classic!
http://image.com.com/mp3/images/genie_images/story/2006/e/ericb-rakim01_story.jpg
Top 10 Reasons Indians Love Gold
I am confused now …
What makes you think Diamonds are really valuable? They were valuable hundred something years ago when there were only a couple of known mines(In India). Since diamonds were found in Africa at the turn of 19th centry, there is no real reason why diamonds should be more expensive than other gemstones like cubic zirconia.
What really keeps them expensive is the skewed monopolist markets(supply side) of Africa and the super successful marketing machine in the west. Next time y’all think about diamonds as an investment or when you see those “Your husband/fiancee/boy friend does not really love you unless he gets you a diamond” ads consider that.
I have gold jewelery and love wearing it while going out for the evening. I think the key to wearing gold on occassions other than weddings is wearing one piece at a time. I also feel more comfortable buying gold than diamonds because you need to know alot more about diamonds to make sure what you are buying is worth it.
I feel like the tradition of giving gold at weddings is almost an ingrained cultural thing so it’ll be a while until it goes away (if ever). yeah people give tv’s , and other practical appliances but gold still holds that ‘prestige ‘. I agree with most other who commented that you can wear some of the gold given as wedding presents in moderation depending on the occasion/ venue you’re attending. I have sets that are set with stones that goes well with western clothes and bigger pieces that I would only bring out for desi functions…the main wedding set is locked in my parents safe and even though we are progressive , it was part of the wedding customs and I chose the designs etc. I do think getting gold on certain occasions has a sentimental value too.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA At Ganjam my husband and I had a heated argument in undertones. I did not want a diamond necklace and he wanted to buy one for me since he had not bought me jewellery and my mother-in-law is standing there and wondering why I woulnn’t buy the biggest, ugliest, garish necklace they were showing. Finally one of the Ganjam ladies took me aside and said, Ma’am you are the FIRST lady who is fighting with her husband to NOT buy a necklace.
Personally, I adore my gold sets. They’re something solid and tangible, especially living in the States and really not feeling that sense of historical/cultural grounding all the time. I have a ruby and gold set that I add something onto every time I go back, bangle, earrings, maybe a nose stud next.
True, it’s not practical to wear the big antique jewelry all the time, but it’s so much fun to bring out, and have “special” things.
why choose? get a vertu cellphone.
disclaimer: animals AND people were harmed during the making of this cellphone.
the houston chronicle noted this trend in the US too (see video here):
“Guess bag in her collection of fineries.”
GUESS? is a finery since when?
hmmm…do i come out as such a snob? first rob and then this. well, im the last person to be going after any kind of expensive, statusy thing. the only reason i hav diamonds is that my hubby insisted on them (well, he thought they were the in-thing then) but anyways, i wore fake jewellery (silver plated with gold) on my wedding day as the dress wouldn’t look good with my things. we even thought of hiring gold for the day. so umm, im not the girl who goes crazy for diamonds.
but anyways thanks for the info. will keep in mind the next i go shopping.
hmmm, there are thieves in those crowds. they target temples coz they knw its gonna b crowded and women will b wearing lots of gold.
Mate please look at the price of gold over the last 50 years. Gold is insurance – not an investment.
That’s all well and good for you and Mr. Kavita, but not every desi’s salary provides enough with which to save. I’d be fine with getting jewelry for my wedding, but because I have so much already I’ll probably ask for cash and put it toward real estate.
I am so glad you said it so I didn’t have to. 😉
I LOVE gold and diamonds. I wear my gold jewellery (with rubies, emeralds or whatever) with any kind of Indian clothes for parties, Eid etc. And I have this stunning diamond wreath necklace that I like to wear to dress up simple salwar kameez.
I can’t understand how anyone can not love the richness and femininity of gold jewellery. But the last Indian/Pakistani do I went to, most of the girls were wearing costume jewellery. They were all absolutely enthralled with my stuff though 🙂 They thought I was 15 (which I’m NOT) so expected less formal attire I think. I also have this Gucci watch, but I don’t love it as much as my gold and diamonds…I’m so NOT a label person. Given a choice between accessorizing with my Blackberry Pearl (it’s really fun to use and very chic) and gold, I’d choose gold anyday! It’s really nice being spoilt!
I am happy to hear that gaudy Indian gold jewelry may be going out of fashion. I do think it does make sense for brides to get gold or other assets at the time of the wedding, as young married couples do need some financial security, and Indian brides especially need security. So the gold would not have to be in the form of jewelry, and it may be better to give it in coin or bullion, which may be more easily converted and will have a value that is not debatable.
Westerners tend to roll their eyes in disgust at the way old world peoples obsess over jewelry and gold, and how they wear it as a sign of affluence, a sign of “I’m better than you”. Western egalitarianism, which is anathma to traditional Indians, was likely born out of Christianity, which was a rebellion agaisnt everything Hindu that was in Judaism. Christianity then gave rise to Marxism, which continued the trend of seeing the gaudy display of wealth as somewhat if not totally disgusting.
The only two people I have ever met with gold rims on their Mercedes were an Indian businessman and a rap star.
Can anyone say “bling bling”?
I hope the trend away from gaudy jewelry is a sign of increasing Westernism in India, which will be good for India, especially good for the poor.
On the Internet, I see tourist pictures of India, of street scenes in various Indian cities, and am very aware of how Western or how American many of the young people are dressing. Jeans are everywhere! Sports jersey type shirts are everywhere. These trends even reach into the remote villages. The baseball hat is everywhere.
It will take time for India to come around. Eventually they will come to understand how so much of their old world traditions and even the Hindu religion are connected with ancientness and mendacity. St. Thomas, the apostle who preached Christianity in India, beginning around Goa, was killed by Hindus because the truth he was speaking about human meanness and cruelty, was too much for Hindu’s to hear. They killed him, just as the Greeks killed Socrates for being too truthful, and just as Gandhi was killed for telling the truth and also Dr. Martin Luther King.
Here in the USA, many people are not aware that the fashion of toe rings, bangles, multiple facial piercings, and tatoos comes to us largely from India. As it turns out, in the USA one can gage the disfunctionality of a person by the amount of Indian inspired trinketry they wear, and the number of tatoos they have. A good friend of mine is a tatoo artist, and he confirms for me that a large percentage of his customers are cognitively deficient and gonzo. They also do piercings in his tatoo parlor.
I see the pictures of Indian girls, especially villagers and dalits, who over adorn themselves with jewelry, to the point of looking quite silly to me. They do this because of tradition, of course, but the tradition is based in valuing a person for their labor and wealth, rather than the understanding that a human has intrinsic value. Of course with over-population intrinsic value tends to erode. But when I see those over-adorned young ladies, all I can think of is hugging them and telling them they are valuable and good without such trappings. Then I want to give them a good education in science and maths. And then I want them to find a good husband, rather than the typical jerk, so that they can raise the next generation is the spirit of enlightenment, and keep the gold and jewels somewhere safe, and not on display.
India is changing. The young are sick of the ancient ideological crap their parents have been feeding them. Young Indians want to integrate with Westerners, which means less gaudy jewelry, amoung other things. Young Indians understand now that the poverty of their locale is based in Hinduism and the corruption that always attends any patriarchal hegemony. I say untie the young and let them fly. They really do have potential, and parents should not be afraid of looking slghtly silly in their children’s new eyes. If Indian parents make an effort to see the world through the children’s eyes, then the children will not despise you, and they will forgive you for not being able to completely adapt to their new world, the real world of less mendacity.
Cheers
Just for the record, that is not me.
What really keeps them expensive is the skewed monopolist markets(supply side) of Africa and the super successful marketing machine in the west.
Laboratory Diamonds may ultimately kill the diamond trade/industry. All you need is a few companies to start making & selling lab diamonds without the disclaimer. The historical/antique diamonds will still be valuable but the diamond engagement ring industry will disappear.
re: #65: thanks for the laugh. it’s been a trying day. my brain needed some extremely light, dumbed down reading.
I understand.
And not every desi gets married either.
My point – wedding presents are mostly meant to “start” a couple out, but most of us “start” an independent life or makes a big transition well before we reach the altar/mandap/Vegas. At least I’m betting that’s the case for most Sepia readers.
(And from what I’ve seen, it’s rarely about salary. There’s plenty of people with a lotta salary registering for all sorts of blingity bling bling)
if yo are constrained by salary or taste from indulging in jewelery – then you should consider purchasing art by desi artists. i am told by an antiquities trader that indians and chinese have recenty started spending freely on collectibles – everything from stamps to paintings. since they are relatively early on the curve, the rate of appreciation will be extreme. good luck.
68:
typical behavior of the weak. Bash without backup. Betrays your psychological Achilles heal. I would say that I would expect more of an Indian, but as an egalitarian, perhaps it would be more accurate to say, “why should I expect more?”
I could put my point another way. Suppose tomorrow some horrible virus killed all the Indian people, also the Bangladeshis, Pakis and Lankans, because it vectored in on on the genes that make a desi a desi. Then, in the absence of Desi’s, Westerners moved in, primarily Europeans, Americans, Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders and Japanese. (yes, Japanese)
Do you think we would create the same mess that is that region today? No. With the exact same resources, but with different ideology, we would creat what we have in Europe, USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Japan.
Yes, India is older than Europe, and so has had more time to make a mess of itself. But Europe was a mess in the Dark Ages, where the streets and sewers were one and the same, and the fuedal system resembled Indian indentured servitude, and children were pressed into work, but she cleaned herself up quickly after the onset of the Enlightenment, largely fueled with coal, prior to 1920 when oil became an excellent new fuel. India has always had coal and iron, as well as lumber and other metals, and so we have to wonder why the lack of developement? I don’t think the lack of developement can be blamed on the British Raj. If that was all that was holding things back, then India should have sprung into modernism after 1949. Actually, the British Raj contributed to India’s development, as can be seen by the lack of development and infrastructure in Afghanistan, Myanmar, Nepal, Tibet and other adjacent regions that had much less British involvement. Also bear in mind that the USA was part of the British Raj, but that did not hinder development here.
Westerners provide a lot of the monetary support for Indian orphans and street kids in hostels. It’s not that the Indians can’t take care of this problem on their own, it’s that they won’t. Well, calm yourself, in time India will fully adopt western ideology and then she will be clean, functional and….she won’t have to send her children to the USA for a university education. In fact, the flow of students may go the other way. (And toilet paper will be everywhere in India, and it will not be floating along the surface of the Ganges River.)
Don’t misinterpret my intentions. I love (most)Indians, especially Bengalis. I quite often rent Bollywood Movies, read Indian newspapers, and I support a street kid in a hostel in Kolkata. These kids clean up quite well. After a few months in the hostel (Ashalayam), you’d never know these kids had been marginalized and ignored by their own people. Life is so funny. I have to laugh ’cause otherwise I’d cry.
Cheers
Yeah! My mom says both “American gold” and “American diamonds” I always thought it was really funny too!
I do think Gold is considered an investment, especially for women in India. Before, women were not allowed to inherit land and therefore the jewelery given to them by their family, was in some way their inheritance. And if necessary, their daughter could sell the gold for money if she absolutely had to. Now that the inheritance laws have changed, it doesn’t apply as much, but tradition is hard to change. Also, the price of gold per ounce has only always gone up, so it’s a very sound investment.
For my wedding 4 years ago, I had to convince my mother that I really, REALLY wanted to wear her wedding jewellery and to not purchase anything new (and elaborate). My non-brown husband (and his family) got me platinum and diamond jewellery but only after consulting me first. I have nothing against gold (or any other precious metals/gemstones) but I do have a problem with this level of demand/consumption in the desi community.
For anyone who claims that gold is a hedge against inflation, a safe harbour for women who suffer abuse, an investment (because ‘the price of gold has always gone up’) etc, I would recommend that they look to diamonds, platinum/paladium/titanium for those qualities. Even these materials, which have both personal and industrial uses, have not a straight trajectory upwards over the past few decades. Besides, would you want to carry around your personal wealth in such a heavy form? Give me diamonds anyday!!!
Gold prices have had a 5 year CAGR of close to 20% and a 20 year CAGR of 10% which I think is pretty phenomenal. I personally think it is a great investment.
Rob — The west CREATED the mess that is in South Asia today . . . as well as the troubles in the middle east, but we will save that commentary for another posting). It is a result of the meddling by the British in India in its division that lead to the dispute over land in Kashmir. I urge you to look into the memoirs of the British architects of Pakistan and India post-partition to learn more about how LITTLE thought went into the division. Further, it is the meddling by the US in Afghanistan that led to the rise of the Taliban and subsequent escalation of Islamic fundamentalism. The US created the Bin Laden whom it now cannot find. Again, I urge you to study the history of US involvement in Afghanistan in the late 1970s to learn more about this period. The US has a very short-term foreign policy and doesn’t stop to think about the long-term implications of its actions. (This is precisely why we have the problems that we do in Iraq right now — that we will save for another post). So, get off your west-superior high horse and try to look at the events in South Asia (and the world generally) from a more global perspective.
p.s. Rob, a side note, you should spell check your posts; development is not spelled “developement” and feudal is not spelled “fuedal.” Perhaps you should have gone to an Indian school!
I don’t know if it’s worth the effort to entertain Rob (not rob) since he is so clearly trolling on multiple threads. 🙂
My mother + grandma call it “American gold” also, if it’s under 22K 🙂
“Gold is the battery of the soul.” -Ravi Srinivas
“These ain’t conflict diamonds, is they Jacob? Don’t lie to me man.” -Kanye West
22 Amardeep
you got me!
so then, ladies n gentelmen i’d like to steer the conversation towards goldmember …grooovy baby!
Bidets are cleaner.
I’ve discovered the best arrangement is this;
The hand should never touch stool because that may result in disease. If one wipes with toilet paper and then immediately jumps in the shower with a removable shower head that has a very strong option for a direct flow of water onto the area, then one can get perfectly clean without ever having to touch that area at all. Of course this requires a removable shower head with strong outpour so that you can hold it in the exact position neccessary to thorougly cleanse yourself.
In India the water flow from taps is often not very strong, hence I found that the squatting toilets there accompanied by lots of water in a bucket and a big wasing cup, along with good quality liquid soap (dettol brand), to work initially. Then from there you immediately take your full body shower or bucket bath. Anything else – just toilet paper alone, or just bidets alone or just water and a squat toilet alone, does not get you clean.
And nails must be kept very short, regular clippings should be made routine.
Yes, it’s PG all right 😉
Ennis #82, You are absolutely correct, this has cleared any confusion whatsoever, this definitely is PG 🙂
Gold Obviously (did I hear a huh ?). It will anyday have a better resale value than a PDA or a Blackberry or any hell electronic gadget you name.
Very interesting writing. But bro gold is the friend of bad time. I bought a nokia N38. Very good performance. You can try if you want. Cheers