One of you kind souls, who wishes to remain anonymous, sent me this picture of “India’s Brangelina“, because you were hoping we might play The Caption Game with it (ji, thanks!). Absosmurfly! What better way to draw off-topic commentary away from the Maximum Nerdery thread? 😉
Without further ado, let’s get snarky. To the left we see Abhishek Bachan and his bride strutting down the red carpet at Cannes.
Most of you are aware that Aishwarya is sometimes known by the unwieldy acronym TMBWITW. Well, now that she is part of a pair, I propose that her hubby get an acronym, too. It’s only fair, right? Damnit, I don’t want to propagate the hegemony of the pasty. Err, I meant…it’s only dark? Whatever.
How about TMFHITW? I’m sure you can guess what the third and fourth letters stand for, but in case you haven’t had two cups of coffee like I have, I’ll spare you from wondering– FH = fugly hair.
Unless your name is Esthappan and you’re rocking a puff, COMB YOUR HAIR. I’m guessing Abhishek get it from his Mama? Big Daddy Amitabh’s tresses seem a bit more manageable. Anyway, the entire point of this debacle of a post is to offer you tired, grumpy, three-day-weekend-missing mutineers a chance to play the caption game! You know how we do, and if you don’t, check out previous editions: ein, zwei, drei, vier, funf…
So, just what is Aish saying? What is her spouse thinking? Why are there suddenly so many Tamil people on SM? The answers to all this and more, will most probably not be found below, not that you’re disappointed at that. Now get to captioning!
Yaay, I got 200 and I wasn’t even trying!
I had a friend who I went to undrgard with who would sing “My only Miss, is killing me” Instead of “My Loneliness, is killing me” whenever he heard “Hit me baby one more time”
I’m not really sure what was going on there.
you need to readjust her expecttions by having a c0ke fueled orgy in a hot tub full of str!ppers.
technically, he would be following amma’s advice – who needs talking for that? anantha – you should listen to your mother – after all, she is vorried her raja is being corrupted by the vestern ladies. though my mom is not that much different – i always have to emphasize that all my guy friends are either ‘like a brother’ or that they already have wives/gfs/are gay.
LOL! puli u rawk!
Pleeze no more mom bashing I can’t stand it – A Mom
hes like a big gay brother…trust me….no,no,no…its not like that. he was pinning me to the wall and checking me for breast cancer. thats all that was. That was me saying “oh god!!!!” praying that i dont have any cancers…
exactly, my ma always sez ‘gurlfrnds te carefulla irru’… I sadly have to put her on the ignore mode for a few mins thereafter!
all in good fun…..we heart moms…
🙂 Thanks Puli
See, my theory the thing with becoming a Mom is that it results in an overdeveloped imagination which increases exponentially with distance from offspring. Hence all the anxiety from Moms in the Des
it aint just moms in the des. moms in the US (a lot of times) think that every (oh, no…WHITE GRL) is trying to get knocked up by thier son and give them gonnoreah.
ok, no more (for now). but to be serious, runa, your dynamic is different – your son is relatively young. however, as i’ve grown older, and closer to my parents, making fun is de rigeur in our house, esp. since i get as much as i give (see what you have to look forward to?). the dialogue is also more open in serious issues – i feel more comfortable speaking up when i hear or see something that is wrong. finally, ravi, and many of the rest of us, are around 30 years of age – surely parents are being a bit over protective at that point? usually, i trust my parents’ advice – but it annoys me when they don’t trust me. at some point, you just have to hope the foundation you gave your children leads them to make good decisions. and know that they’re not going to live their lives the way you want them to – and that’s OK, too (sometimes).
puli @ 207 – too funny. and also mortifying.
i just hold the phone away from my ear 🙂 my mom is notorious for her polambal – so i’m trained at selective listening.
I used to feel bad at first, but now its good fun to tell her wild stories, some of which never took place, just to drive her mad. In the end however we make up as she promises never to quiz me again on my so-called-gurl-frynds. Next week the same topic props up and the cycle continues!
[full senti]I love u ma![/full senti]
i dont think there is anything that ive ever done that would freak my parents out. my mom pretty much knows everything about me…
(just to clarify, gory details and all)
So that’s what they’re thinking…that would explain much.
Western? I got the idea that all gals are evil. 😀
And gay? She’s known to hand out random bits of advice to my assorted friends. So if at all I tell mention their orientation, next time she sees them, she’d probably advice him or her to see a doctor. 😀
But Bess darling, you need not worry! What she does not know, will not hurt her, would it? 😉
Noooooooo! I am not even hinting to her about my trip to Toronto last year!
Runa: I heart my mom. She provides fodder for the best stories in the family and laughs along too. Like the time she went to a navarathri golu do in Chennai, at my youngest aunt’s in laws’ (who are “more Mallu than thou”) and proceeded to sing “Devi Sri Devi, thedi varunnu nyaan”. She got through it completely, with all the uncles and aunties watching mortified, before my aunt’s FIL gently enquired her rationale behind her choice of a perfect Prem Nazir love ballad for a Navarathri event.
Apparently for 24 years, she had thought that the number that my father sang during their wedding nalangu (much to HIS mom’s disapproval, btw) and later on repeatedly during the first few years after they were married, was a devotional number! 😀
I just wish sometimes that she could think for herself more (I have a weird aunt, whose word is gospel)!
Whew.. to think I felt guilty thinking I was the only one to do so!
I don’t have to try hard to freak my mom out. Cos everything I do freaks her out, including my trips to the local pool parlor with (male) friends on a weekend night and the fact that eggs are part of my diet! When she found out about the eggs, she replied with a wry comment that roughly translates to “I don’t know what else you eat!” So I haven’t told her about the one beer/drink (I get buzzed with any more, so I don’t go beyond 1 drink) I have usually have when I hit the bar or when we drink at home.
And whenever she hears that one of my gal pals (as in friends who are women, just to clarify :D) is getting married, I can sense a feeling of relief wash over her that it’s not me that the gal is after 😉
you can trust brown grls with your son though. they are asexual beings that want to study spelling with him..unless the brown grl in question is there daughter, in that case, if you let your daugter out of the house, she will get pregnant. the family name will be ruined.
wedding games are so cute!
bar? drinks? apacharam apacharam, ayyo kadavulle… naan enna seyya?
Anantha, Only 1? I have an entire Greek chorus of them and most of my life they were foretelling all kinds of bad futures for me :-).
Love that golu story … its been so many years since I attended golu celebrations.
when i was growing up, they were in india. all was great. now they live near my parents. they whisper things in his ear that i need to marrry someon from my community. now, my relationship with my parents has taken a turn for the worse.
Ok, let me preempt any auntie here who wants to object to the “I hate my aunt” tone of my comment (not to mention Runa’s) I have to add that I heart my aunties mostly! 😀
hehe!
i, for the life of me, cant figure out why the opinions of crazed 80 year old aunties matter in making decisions that effect the life if oyur loved kids.
Aish looks preggers
heres a caption “I highly reccomend impregnating the most beautiful woman in the world, if you have the means..”
they demand you marry a mutineer?
Puli, it’s because of the whole “age = wisdom” association that the desi community makes. So regardless of how stupid my aunt’s preconceived notions are, her age (and oddly, the fact that she worked for the Reserve Bank of India) got her my parents’ ear more than me and my sister.
anantha, Me too.Except that they are very conservative,I really wish I could emulate my aunts’ equanimity and ability to grow old gracefully.Most of them never worked outside of home but still manage to have fulfilled lives – not to mention that they are all excellent cooks and homemakers.
which is messed up…because these aunts dont really know what my life is like. they dont know i date (mostly non desi grls). they dont know what my life is like. they didnt see me grow up. they lived in small town india, till recently. they sometimes say things like “he should have gone to iit” (disragarding the fact that my parents came to the US for the purpose of me getting an american education, and not having to struggle through cut throat competition to get a job in the US). yet, somehow, they have the ability to know what type of person i would be compatible with? i would think, someone closer to my age, and less out of touch with the current century would be a better bet in getting input.
this is off topic. ill stop. its just depressing…
if you ask, “is this grl pretty” looking at a picture in a matrionial add, if she is not iyengar, she is ugly. if she is hebbar iyengar, instantly “amazing”. (the fact that the non iyengar grl is a bollywood starlet, and the iyengar grl has an *ss the size of wisconsin and a nose that looks like the starship enterprise doesnt seem to matter). the fristrating thing, is that their stupid oppinions matter, because they have puli appa’s ear.
:Why are there suddenly so many Tamil people on SM?
Tamil:Guilty of being in places dealing with intelligent conversations started by Cute Mallu Girls
Ha ha ha…SM interns please check if your metatags have words like Superstar,Thalaivar,Sivaji,Pongal recipe,MIA,
Amaidhi Out!
G
I don’t use ‘FOB’ in daily life either, because I find it to be offensive and classist. Also, I find that there’s a lot of variation in what someone means when they say something is ‘fobby’ or someone is a ‘FOB’ to really make it useful as anything other than an insult (I’ve never heard anyone call anyone else an ‘ABCD’ as an insult, so that’s why I don’t particularly find it offensive, but I don’t use it either because I think it’s just stupid). As for desis from other parts of the diaspora–I guess we’ll just have to type out a few more letters to identify them as such.
Thanks to Marma Points in #187 for explaining that so well!
haha, so this is present with speakers of all south indian languages? (my ammamma used to say ‘pissu’ for fish, which i found really amusing as a 10yrold)
my mother made a breakthrough and actually told me to tell her if i get a boyfriend, so that she can ‘give me advice.’ my response: ‘you? give me advice? you married daddy!’ (it’s ok for me to say that cuz they were ‘dating’ [indian-style] before they got married… i can’t be the only one who jokes with their parents like this, can i?) she also said that she would brag to all her friends in the community that ‘my daughter has a boyfriend, see how handsome he is,’ and then when i told her that here a boyfriend doesn’t automatically mean marriage and she might wanna hold off on the bragging, she got all confused.
for real? everything?
not spelling… geography. didn’t you take AP Human Geography in high school?
you don’t like wisconsin-sized asses? 🙁
yeah, they know about that kind of thing…
some junk up in dat trunk is great, but im talking unhealthy. not just plump, but like “go on a diet and run, or you might die before your 35th birthday” huge.
i have a REALLY wide range of body types i like. i dont mean a grl with some meat on her bones. im talking about extreme cases here.
As someone already pointed out upthread, whether using “ABCD” is an insult is not really up for discussion, since we hashed it out already. Please don’t reopen an unnecessary debate.
It seems that no one has anything more to add which is remotely on topic. I’ll give this thread a bit more time in case that changes, or I’ll close it.
vahmo!, i can’t imagine anyone i know being that honest with their parents. if you don’t mind me asking, how old were you when you started talking to them about this? (also, do you have any sisters?)
oh ok good. 🙂 (my internet crush can continue)
pl provide an e-mail address, so we can discuss this off line…
Thank you, Puli.
ok?
they are 😉 but since you’re now in the west, it is only estern girl she need be concerned with
as in, they know that people in general do it, or you’ve had discussions about you doing it?
nala, the ‘forku’ etc – i don’t know about all south indian languages, because i think it comes from my mother’s knowledge of telugu, not her knowledge of tamil.
this is my ‘dilemma’ now – my mom keeps suggesting all these boys – i don’t mind meeting (some) guys that way, but it’s the pressure of having it end in marriage that’s annoying – sometimes you just want to fool around, you know 😀
back on topic – is abhi actually posing? he has his heel up, likes he’s a model at the end of a runway – is he about to do a twirl or what?
i have to say ash has been looking much better at cannes in the last few years – i feel bad for neeta lulla (ash’s designer who tried out those disastrous ‘indo-western’ ensembles for everal years at the festival) but l’oreal’s intervention was very smart…
To Puliogare:: I thought you may be Bangalore Iyengar by the way you wrote “puliogare”. But you are Hebbar Iyengar! Now I know EXACTLY what my teenage son will say to me in the coming years. I shall be prepared for all eventualites 😀 Rest assured I know NO girls in the Hebbar Iyengar community 😉
I think Indian stars, starlets and even models are much more real looking and hence female-friendly than western stars, starlets and models who often just look too damn good or too damn skinny and give the rest of us inferiority complexes.
Ash’s face is gorgeous but her body often looks out of shape, even frumpy, but that makes me like her all the much more. It makes her seem “real and accessable”. You can really tell who in entertainment works out and who doesn’t, and quite frankly, none of the Indian actresses, and very few of their male counter-parts look as if they give two hoots about joining a gym or waking up at 3 am to get their jog/yoga/pilates/aerobics/tae bo on like buff Madonna.
Although I appreciate a muscled, well-toned form, I also like that in India a woman can be short and fat by European standards and still make it to a certain level in modeling. Of course such women will not be able to take their careers across the globe, but in their own country they do get to appear in some magazines.
They provide a realistic “comfort zone” for the youth of India.
Western actresses and models set an unrealisitc standard for women.
india has the skin color standards though. and the rampant nepotism/’royal families’ of bollywood. indian stars are still definitely more unreachable than hollywood stars, i would say.
Puliogre in da USA Sorry for messing up your spelling.
Bess: I think I know your email address (from somewhere on this post’s comments), if at all you want to discuss something offline 😉
hehe!
Puli: I know one Hebbar Iyengar gal. DBD and you’d definitely like her. But she got married in June. Mebbe I’ll ask her about cousins in her family and let you know?
yeah, sure. actually…why not?
Okie.. she just got an email from me!
coz so many posts on SM related to Aish is attracting them since Aish’s first film was in Tamil !!