One of you kind souls, who wishes to remain anonymous, sent me this picture of “India’s Brangelina“, because you were hoping we might play The Caption Game with it (ji, thanks!). Absosmurfly! What better way to draw off-topic commentary away from the Maximum Nerdery thread? 😉
Without further ado, let’s get snarky. To the left we see Abhishek Bachan and his bride strutting down the red carpet at Cannes.
Most of you are aware that Aishwarya is sometimes known by the unwieldy acronym TMBWITW. Well, now that she is part of a pair, I propose that her hubby get an acronym, too. It’s only fair, right? Damnit, I don’t want to propagate the hegemony of the pasty. Err, I meant…it’s only dark? Whatever.
How about TMFHITW? I’m sure you can guess what the third and fourth letters stand for, but in case you haven’t had two cups of coffee like I have, I’ll spare you from wondering– FH = fugly hair.
Unless your name is Esthappan and you’re rocking a puff, COMB YOUR HAIR. I’m guessing Abhishek get it from his Mama? Big Daddy Amitabh’s tresses seem a bit more manageable. Anyway, the entire point of this debacle of a post is to offer you tired, grumpy, three-day-weekend-missing mutineers a chance to play the caption game! You know how we do, and if you don’t, check out previous editions: ein, zwei, drei, vier, funf…
So, just what is Aish saying? What is her spouse thinking? Why are there suddenly so many Tamil people on SM? The answers to all this and more, will most probably not be found below, not that you’re disappointed at that. Now get to captioning!
Does being inculcated with the, “women are to be placed on a pedestal” idea count as ‘repressed desi upbringing?’???
now i’m not saying that my appearance is pleasing to anyone, in any century, at any stage of inebriation, but I would like to see how far along I am on the road to anti-repressed-turd-blossom-land.
Just to be clear. I’m not advocating promiscuous behavior amongst high school kids, or anything like that. I really think developing ones personality as an independant adult is an important pre-requisite to being in a relationship.
Now that’s my kind of repressed guy!
And…Anantha,
Are you saying that in your best Rajini voice? My Tamil is limited to A.R.Rahman lyrics ; )
Aaah, a discerning Thalaivar fan…. Nice 😉
Even better!
Kanavaaa illai kaatraa?
Kanavaa nee kaatra?
ok hopefully this will go through:
i should be clearer. maybe it’s more of a repressed-kids-of-desi-immigrants attitude, because strict immigrant parents’ kids often have ‘secret’ lives that are completely separate from their home lives, and are almost different people at home and at school. by repressed desi attitude, i mean the boy i sort of grew up with who was never encouraged to be social with guests (unlike the girls) and who may have been told pretty much NOTHING about females or sexuality by his parents, but who sees sexy half-naked women everywhere. this specific boy i’m thinking of can barely make conversation with me, no matter how hard i try, but with his friends he’s all ‘d00d i’d tap that’ but in a really vulgar, dehumanizing way. this attitude is pretty common among men of all ages and all kinds of backgrounds, but the ignorance spawned by how a lot of desi immigrant parents raise their kids definitely causes it in part (e.g. my male relative who told me that ‘all lesbians need is a good dicking’ and whose idea of a pick-up line is telling a girl he has a condom in his pocket). so what i’m talking about is when the desi parent upbringing actually fails to impart the ‘woman on a pedestal’ attitude and the guy totally just sees women as objects who are also foreign because he hasn’t been taught how to socialize with them.
in my experience, DBDs tend to be more respectful. the ‘woman on a pedestal’ attitude also gets annoying though, when sitting next to a man you’re not related to or touching his hands or even just TALKING to him are seen as ‘sexual.’
oh and I’m not sure what you meant by your latter statement murali, but I added the ‘even if they’re good-looking’ clause in because we all know that beautiful people get away with more in our society, including some social dumbassness. I mean that I’m not talking about the stereotypical ‘desi nerd’–I’m talking about guys who are good-looking (the boy I mentioned in my example is actually really really good-looking), smart, even ‘popular,’ but have really fucked up ideas about women.
Nala: May be I don’t know enough ABDs, but I think dumbasses exist everywhere. I know DBD guys who treat women as trash too. I don’t think repression has anything to do with it, but that’s just my personal opinion.
Yeah dumbasses do exist everywhere (I guess I’ve just been fortunate enough to run into the dumbass DBDs), but I do think repression (by which I mean ignorance) has something to do with it. People refusing to talk about sex (I remember one aunt who made me cry for saying the word ‘gonads’ when I was 11 or something, trying to one-up my cousin in terms of what I knew; frankly I’m surprised she knew what those were) only leads to ignorance, which leads to believing shit like ‘no means yes.’
i dont think this has anything to do with where they were brought up. DBD guys are more respectfull, untill you get groaped…i mean “eve teased” 500 times on a bus in india. just avoid teh juvinile types. work on your own personality and development, and wait for people (others and yourself) to develop emotional maturity before striking out. Otherwise, it causes a lot more harm than good. someone that says things like “i wood tap that” in front of his friends and cant even string a sentence together in front of you really, REALLY cant be in a mature relationship. the more you know
😀
well RE: DBD guys, i guess it also has to do with how i know the ones i know (mostly introduced through family), and yeah being in public in india is awful sometimes.
(also, bolded emphasis mine because it amused me :P)
yes. family boys are usually better, but the problem is that some times boys can put on a nice face in front of the family, and then behave in a twisted manner away from home. (i sound like a messed up half way to uncle-ji, switching back and forth between “muff diving good” and “be carefull beta”)
Puli: puttin’ the “C” in abcd….
Just kidding, my friend!
oh i know all about that, unfortunately
My two-cents on the pro-DBD male thread…weirdly, repression can be so sexy – specially if you’re raised in an uninhibited society. Met this hot, tall, dark South Indian guy in Kolkata, sharing a taxi in the dead of night (I arrived late at the train station, and alone). He wore this gorgeous kurta, and had this old-fashioned courtly air you never get with guys here – and he immediately took charge of me, scolding the taxi driver for trying to cheat me, getting out of the taxi and walking me up to the door. Anyway, the whole taxi ride we kept darting these electric looks at each other, a much bigger turn on than if he’d suggested we go to a hotel or pawed my knee.
CB: I am not trying to be rude, but I fail to understand how that gorgeous kurta wearing South Indian guy in Kolkota could come across as “repressed”. I don’t know the background, but it seems to me that he was being nice to you. Of course he looked at you, but every hot blooded guy would do that. But I wouldn’t call him repressed. He was just being nice.
Of course, if you had flirted with him and had come on to him and he brushed you off, that would make that repression claim slightly more valid than it is now. But that could also mean that he was just being faithful to a fiance/gf back home and did not want to risk a good life because of one stupid incident.
Hey I liked CB’s anecdote. I think the thing is that compared to the current American definition of sexuality which basically means dressing as revealingly as possible, putting yourself out there as much as possible, being as forward as possible, etc. — a guy that doesn’t immediately try to sleep with you seems ‘repressed.’ (Though that’s not what I meant by repressed, I would describe that incident as mysterious and the guy as respectful)
(And not that there’s anything wrong with the aforementioned American definition of sexuality, but when it becomes the only definition and anything else makes people think you’re a traditional/conservative/a frigid bitch? A huge problem.)
(Note to self: Go to sleep!!)
Actually a clean shaven Abhishek looks like a dork. He has intentionally cultivated this stubbled look. No excuse for the hair though.
Its pretty common knowledge that the Big B wears a wig. In the unkind but revelatory photographs taken of him as he tried to get into Bombay’s Lilavati hospital to have his gastritis treated, its quite obvious. He looks like a tired, sick man in his sixties, with a woolen cap pulled down over a head that shows no evidence of hair beneath. Memento mori.
yeah CB, there’s nothing ‘repressed’ about not groping a woman that you share a cab with…unless this oddly popular ‘repressed guy’ is totally wrong about what’s accepted cab-ride behavior in ‘not repressed’ countries.
I was trying to make clear that I was not automatically including myself in the ‘hot but horribly vulgar and unprepared for an intramural world’ population. I was curious about the definition of ‘repressed upbringing’ that women hold, as I’ve heard that the ‘pedestal’ approach can also be aggravating for women.
Validated. However, in defense of these unfortunate souls, they may just be suffering from a weirdly damning excess of testosterone. The condition is grave, can persist throughout the 20s, and causes many potential complications in the execution of a proper seduction or even a protracted wooing.
i might be repressed….not sure how thats defined. im fairly conservative.
well, this is a leeetly off-topic but it’s already been brought up soooooo….I love taking on urban myths. Some are true, some not true, most half&half. Regarding the Ich bin ein Berliner…. Danish means pastry to a lot of people even in Denmark, but if you are in Denmark and say I am Danish, people get it.
http://german.about.com/library/blgermyth06.htm German Myth 6 John F. Kennedy’s Berlin Speech CONTINUED FROM > German Misnomers, Myths and Mistakes
Did President Kennedy Say He Was a Jelly Doughnut?
There is a persistent claim that JFK’s famous German phrase, “Ich bin ein Berliner,” was a gaffe that translates as “I am a jelly doughnut.” But when Kennedy made that statement in a West Berlin speech in 1963, his German audience understood exactly what his words meant: “I am a citizen of Berlin.” They also understood that he was saying that he stood by them in their Cold War battle against the Berlin Wall and a divided Germany.
No one laughed at or misunderstood President Kennedy’s words spoken in German. In fact, he had been provided help from translators who knew the language well. He wrote out the key phrase phonetically and practiced it before his speech in front of the Schöneberg town hall in Berlin, and his words were warmly received. Yet this German myth has been perpetuated by teachers of German and other people who should know better. Although a “Berliner” is also a type of jelly doughnut, in the context used by JFK it could not have been misunderstood any more than if I told you “I am a danish” in English. Of course, you’d think I was crazy, but you wouldn’t think I was claiming to be a citizen of Denmark (Dänemark). Here is Kennedy’s full statement:
All free men, wherever they live, are citizens of Berlin, and, therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words, “Ich bin ein Berliner.” Part of the problem here stems from the fact that in statements of nationality or citizenship, German often leaves off the “ein.” But in Kennedy’s statement, the “ein” was correct and expressed that he was “one” of them. Over the years there have been translation or interpreting errors with U.S. public officials abroad, but this isn’t one of them.”
now–that that history lesson is over, let’s get back to Aish….
im bringing ‘repressed chic’ into fashion.
Bravo Puli, bravo!
But Nizam, does he look anything like the real Rajni?
Vivek: Off topic, but considering your post’s subject, the post’s headline was snarky and was uncalled for. But may be it’s just me.
“My wife is sweeping the red carpet! But surely they have cleaning staff for that?”
“Hubbyshek is not getting laid tonight.”
Kaettu sollaren, wokay?
And that’s the news today about Wifewariya and Hubbyshek.
It’s Puli’s theme song, ya’ll! “I’m bringing re-pressed back…I’m bringing re-pressed back…”(sung to “Sexy Back” tune) ; )
LOL!
Funnily there is a Clay Aiken cover version for this song too 😉
And no, I don’t listen to Clay Aiken, but I remember he was on TV in some morning TV program or the other. I did choke on my cereal hearing it though!
Bess, How you doin’ today? 😉
Hey Anantha! I love the disclaimer that you don’t listen to Clay Aiken. I have a Tamil friend(DBD) who sings that song as “I bring the sexy back, I bring the sexy back…”
i love the mental image of that being sung loudly in a thick tamilian accent. confidence is awesome.
Since DBD is bandied about a lot, just curious – Is that like Chicken Fried Chicken in the usage? what happened to good old fob? Or can’t we leave the db out and just say desi and ABdesi. What happens to our east african, fijian and carribo brothas and sistas? Do they have their own acronym?
Not that there is anything wrong with it (i.e, Clay Aiken’s music), but its a matter of personal preference, you know? I will stick to ARR’s singing.
Yeah, we are like that wonly! Cool and confident, that’s what we are. For e.g., over the weekend, I was shepherding about half a dozen Tamil DBD’s who are here on a short term work related visit, through a mall in North Jersey. All of them are accountants who work for a Big 3 consulting firm no less. You wouldn’t believe it, but they haggled with the saleswoman manning the jewellery/watch counters at Macy’s (!!!!!!!!) and refused to buy watches (for their family back home) till they got a substantial discount. All the while, poor meek me was trying to tell them that they can’t get any discounts from Macy’s, but they brushed me off telling me that they will do it the way we do it in India. And finally, an hour after we got to the watch section, they walked out with about 10 watches at 20% off the list price! I have never been more surprised. And the looks that they left the salespeople with was PRICELESS!
My friend isn’t that fresh from T.N. My point was to say he has a Tamil accent, not a strong one, like Puli’s imagining, but a Tamil accent and when the syntax is off a bit – I find that endearing.
As for haggling with the Macy sales peeps, Anantha, tell me some more stories. I have so much to learn ; )
he he, so do i. my friend and i speak in desi english to each other, heavily accented – an ode to her mother 🙂
as for DBD vs FOB – there was a discussion sometime back on SM – FOB, like ABCD, has so many negative connotations, that most SMers have switched over to DBD and ABD for avoidance of insult.
Regarding repression and guys acting weird around girls, or vice versa, it happens amongst populations where there is a major segregation of the sexes, no matter where they are located geographically. It happens alot among various religious groups.
When you belong to a religious group that segregates, but live within a larger society that does not, it’s like living in two different worlds, two different lives.
Even if you’re not desi you can find yourself living a sort of “double life”. One as the segregated celibate in front of your religious peeps, and one as the adult man/woman who is comfortable with his/her sexuality outside of it. But usually if you belong to a religious group that embraces segregation, celibacy and abstinence before marriage, no matter how sexual you are, you won’t really be 100% at home with it.
If you happen to be in a religious group that segregates and your larger society also does more of the same, well then that can lead to major issues in knowing how to deal with the opposite sex, even after years of marriage.
The woman-on-a-pedastal thing gets old pretty quickly because on a pedestal you are always alone. And once you do anything to warrant being taken down from it (anything remotely human), well, you go from pedestal to shoe-wiping-map very soon. The pedestal has connotations of madonna/whore complex.
Some men visit prostitutes because they refuse to see their wives as anything but a madonna (sacred mother), they refuse to see them as sexual beings. And if their wives show uninhibited sexuality in front of even them, their husbands, well, those husbands lose respect for them. Not common, but it happens.
I learnt a lot that day. In fact, it looks like we have a lot more to learn, together 😉
Hehe! Yesterday, I was on GTalk with my mom in India who was telling me about her latest gadget, her first microwave oven! She was instructing me on how to use it, in spite of the fact that just a couple of days ago, I gave her a refresher course myself 😛 Anyways she was going on and on about using a “bowel” till I realized that she meant “bowl”. Upon correcting her, she put in a smiley like this – “:P” and continued it with “You and your hify English!”. I was laughing my ass off. Then I called home and my dad picked up the phone and apparently he had a good time ribbing her about it afterward!
I thought that was just a western cultural hang-up. Thank you Middle Ages with your Chivalric Code and Marian Worship.
I already just luv your momma!
Sure, I’ll pass on the message 😉
But I have to make sure that I discard all the beer from the fridge before I do that. Because 26 hours after I tell her, she’ll call me from EWR announcing her arrival to personally take charge of my life and to set my affairs in order 😀
Hehe…
Would that whole “setting affaris in order” include a few tight slaps about the ears and face for flirting with a girl who isn’t Desi?! hehe
Let me know how I can help, I’d be happy to hang on to that beer for ya.
flirting with a non desi grl? your all lucky if this doesnt happen..
“Hey!!! Last night was great. Let’s do it again today. Wha?? Don’t worry about him. He likes to watch with that stupid ass smile of his.”
what, your mom doesn’t approve of the occasional thillu-mullu with the ladies?
he he. my mom’s south indian roots are evident in her use of ‘forku’ ‘knifu’ ‘platu’ ‘spoonu.’
‘
when i was in high school, i thought the south indian accent was ‘off putting’. now i think its h0t if a grl sports one. go figure…
errr…that wasnt directed at anyones mom.
When i moved to india for part of my schooling, I used to take English words and add a “u” to the end and write it out in Telugu in my Telugu essays whenever I could not think of the Telugu word. Hindi essays were worse because I would think of the English word, translate it into Hindi, but if I couldn’t think of a word, I would think of it in Telugu, and then and chop off the “u” at the end and pray that such a Hindi word exists. But if I could only think of an English word, say Spoonu, in Telugu, and then I removed the U for Hindi, I would get spoon.
I was wondering why Telugu was considered the “Italian of the East”. Thanks, Pravin, for explaining it.
Puli channeling his inner Ross
Flirting? Who was flirting? ME?? Even if I was, I’d probably be slapped for a lot less 😉 Read on!
A few months ago, she was telling me not that I should not talk to girls at all. No really, she said that when I told her that I would disclose my financial information only to the prospective brides and not to their whole families. Her response was – “But Ravi, you should not talk to the gals at all”.
And I was born in 1978. This is 2007. Do the math! hehe!