After a very well attended meetup in NYC, the Meetup Road Tour makes its way to San Francisco this weekend.
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| Sunday, August 26 | San Francisco |
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3pm — ??? Café Greco 423 Columbus Ave |
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Parking’s a pain in North Beach but, Brimful (bless her soul) pointed out a nearby parking garage for the folks driving in. Other places to find a spot include the many garages in Union Square and / or street parking in SOMA / Fin District. From there, it’s easy to walk / taxi / cable car it over. It ain’t that far.
Incorporating some cues / feedback from NYC, we’re going to experiment a bit with the format of the SF meetup…
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Desi Boyz in SF apparently need a lot of dating advice. That topic will surely come up… |
A few highlights –
- Location — SF’s meetup is going to be at a relatively good sized coffee house with a far more open layout
- Time — The meetup will be on a lazy Sunday afternoon; our contention for the space (if any) will more likely be against random North Beach tourists vs. focused, club-clad New Yorkers
- Nametags — I’ll be distributing ’em and you folks will decorate ’em with your RealNames and/or Handles ; a nametag in a coffee house isn’t quite the dorkbadge that one would be at an NYC bar.
- Intros — After badging in, we’ll announce the new folk’s presence and get ’em to toss up a tidbit or 2 of introductory trivia
- Discussion— Expect some focused discussion of the more fun, recent SM posts including the 1000commentMonster (there were few commentors who had, uh, interesting opinions on the SF scene that I’m hoping to meet). It shouldn’t be anything too intense, just scan the past couple of weeks of posts and hopefully a few will pique your interest enough to be Sepia literate…
Of course, above all we’ll just try to have fun with our fellow geeks-in-arms. And don’t worry, if the structure starts getting oppressive, we’ll quickly abandon it and resume old fashioned small talk. Desi’s know small talk.
Actually, though parking is a pain in North Beach, there’s a fairly good parking garage around the corner from Greco where people have parked in the past. Bonus feature: the parking spots have interesting little blurbs in them, like You have a magnetic personality. Only in SF!
Sorry I won’t be able to attend… maybe next time!
I forgot to piggyback on SFGirl’s original comment in that whopper thread. One, she’s absolutely right that for a hetero-male, SF is an excellent dating scene. Two, I’ve had numerous hetero-male friends who idiotically disagree and maintain that LA is better because “there are more hotter girls.” They soon find out that the LA scene may have more hotter girls but the scene is intensely competitive; whereas, if they stayed in SF, and were observant, they would realize that the pecking order is significantly skewed in their favor.
you are making me want to move out to SF.
If are better looking than a horse, please stay where you are.
im better lookin than a horse, but i dont really get that statement. are you a guy or grl? are you in san fran or not?
My name is Ludwig and I am a man.
My name is Bill and I’m a head case.
Any plans for a LA meetup?
didnt someone post a map showing the SF bay area with the largest concentration of single males?
http://creativeclass.typepad.com/thecreativityexchange/2007/04/the_singles_map.html
Is there any chance that the meetup will still be going on at 6 pm ? I cannot make it at 3 pm 🙁
A few clarifications… 🙂
We haven’t done this in a WHILE, partly because there is now a core group of DC-based mutineers (CoffeeFrace, Jay the Weasel/human sacrifice, Sriram, Kenyandesi, Msichana, Mr. Msichana, portmanteau, SJM…) who are regulars, mostly because of what I’m going to discuss below, which negates the need for them…though having colored sharpies around is ALWAYS a good time.
I’ve only done “intro. trivia” once, when we had the infamous battle of the Jessicas (Biel vs. Alba), which was entirely impromptu and spontaneously inspired by comments made by two attendees at the meetup. A few days before lunch at Amma’s, those two had gone at it virtually…they ended up across from each other and it was on. And I decided to let everyone get in on the melee. Otherwise, my complicated “Intro” strategy is this: state your name and if you use one, the handle you comment under.
I don’t think that’s much to ask– it’s plain courtesy, in my opinion, to introduce yourself and to do so in a way that is relevant. If someone says, “Hi, I’m Lenika”, people are all…”WTF, mate?”. Contrast that with, “Hi, I’m ‘Msichana’…” and everyone breaks in to knowing smiles, minor epiphanies etc. When latecomers arrive, I yell at everyone to shut up, then I say, “this is Priya” and Priya looks shy and I say, “and Priya, this is Jay, Jay, Anjali, (and whatever other name is ubiquitous :p )” and by THEN, everyone just continues, re-introducing themselves again, really quickly. It’s super helpful for the bears of little brain, like myself, to hear a name twice. Or thrice. By the end of the meetup, we’re all making plans to cuddle.
Uh, this is the part I’m most worried about– I have NEVER had a list of topics or any sort of planned meetup merriment. I don’t want people to think there is going to be a quiz, or this will be like a book club, where if you haven’t read the effing book, you might as well not go. Often, there are more than a few NON-mutineers, who are being dragged along by lurkers who think they’d be a good fit; I’d hate to make these potential cuddle-buddies feel unwelcome.
We have never had to search for conversation, in part because I’m proactive about getting the verbal party started and I make sure everyone gets to chime in and feel included…and if that fails, stand up, look around solemnly and announce, “porn.”
Works like a charm, every time. 😉
I’m touched you guys are still meeting at my beloved Greco, even though I won’t be there to bliss out with you. It’s super easy to move chairs around and linger and because of that, the meetups I’ve thrown there have been wonderful. Have a Greco grande (or three) for me. Sigh.
When I throw them, they go for anywhere from four to 15 hours. 😉
And then she relaxingly smokes a cigarette post-meet-us.
How about a Chicago meet-up? Assuming that there are plenty of lurkers here who might be interested in attending.
Way too much pressure Vinod…I feel so judged :p
Discussion topics are not a bad idea for the reticent. Also, if some are SFAlterna-Desi Hipsters, perhaps we are also a bit socially awkward and could benefit from a bit of guided discussion? 😉
(I tease, but Vinod, I actually think the set up sounds lovely, and I’m sure things will move along organically because that is how we do in the Bay)
I hope everyone has fun and someone drinks a soy au lait on my behalf. 😉
Pssst, throw back a few Irish coffees, and I think it will alleviate the pressure 🙂
Only outdoors, though. [since smoking indoors is banned in CA… I guess it flies in nasty indoor-smoking D.C., though :)]
Not since Jan 1, 2007 (for the most part) … no more smoking in DC bars/restaurants.
smoking banned in the entire country of bhutan 🙂 that is why i love it so.
Hey folks –
Before we get overwhelmed by “homework” for the meetup…. Lemme re-emphasize a few points —
We’ll try stuff out here and see how it works. If not, we improvise.
Really? Hooray! This is what I hated most re: D.C. [I’m asthmatic and can’t stand being near smoke — literally!] I used to come home from clubs/bars reeking of smoke, which made me very >:(
I’ve heard this sort of thing number of times, but I’ve never quite believed it. Granted that I’m a bit shy and maybe a little socially inept, but as a hetero male (tall, not unattractive) who’s lived in the Bay Area for 10 years (including 2.5 in SF) I haven’t seen it myself. From the hyperbole I’ve heard at various times one might think that any hetero men in SF would have women jumping them at every opportunity, but it just doesn’t work like that. Or maybe I just need to get out more.
This is something I take for granted in SF. When I go to other cities, I become acutely aware of all the smoke/smokers. The most recent time, was in Ft Lauderdale, I went with some friends and we came back after a night out just reeking. One of our friends had stayed back at the hotel to catch up on some work and she was like.. Geez people what have you been doing!! Needless to say 2 am showers for everyone.
As a staunch, liberal-as-they-come San Franciscan, I’ve always taken pride in the fact that we have the most PhD’s per capita, but I’m disheartened by the urban myth that we’re largely an unattractive city. (Of course, this is also what I heard about Berkeley girls when I was an undergrad at Cal, and I can definitively assert that this is simply not true.) I actually think San Franciscans are pretty hawt (not counting the Mission hipsters with torn clothes and baaaad haircuts), but I wonder if all that self-hate spurred by the rumor mill means people got no game ’cause they’re all insecure (not including myself here, because I’ve been off the market for years)? ponder
Anyone coming from south bay? It would be nice to carpool.
buddhu, despite the great odds for guys, the dating scene in the Bay, in general, sucks. (just my opinion) I think it has a lot more to do with the dating culture of the Bay.
Satya, I think some people see the “casual style” of the Bay as ugly. I actually think there are a lot of attractive people (yes, even at UC Berkeley). I kind of enjoy the crazy eclectic styles you see in the Bay, uggs/miniskirt combo excluded, of course.
Perhaps. Email me and we’ll talk.
Lets get this straight (pun intended), there’s a lot of observor bias inherent here…. so, we have to turn to independent, objective measures, like this one which clearly indicate that our hood earns the nickname(s) Man Francisco && Man Jose.
And that’s for dudes in general…. when you look at the industries clustered in SF (Tech + Finance) you end up with an overflow of DESI DUDES in particular….
buddhu: I have a feeling that if you include the Financial District and SOMA where the demographics are all weird- engineers, commuters- I am probably wrong. Throw those two ‘hoods out, and I claim my claim to be true mang.
DJDP: DJDP!
vinod, I’m not challenging your single guy stats 🙂 Are you sure they’re all straight? 😉
I’m just saying that Bay dating culture is, in general, way more relaxed and thus sometimes more confusing to navigate than the east coast. I like the straightforwardness I found when in D.C./NYC. If someone wanted to ask me out they did instead of framing things as “hanging out” or as an ambiguous coffee or something. I had a few really awkward experiences where it was clear that the guy thought we were on a date, and I thought we were just grabbing lunch as acquaintances/friends. Maybe this was just college culture, though, not wider Yay Area culture 🙂
Overflow of Desi Dudes does not equal overwhelming dating prospects. Does not help either when most of them live in Fremont or Sunnyvale! Or maybe I am just socially inept! 😉
clustered in SF
wouldn’t it be more accurate to say clustered in the “bay area?” ’cause there ain’t no overflow of desi men in the city proper, alas.
I dont understand, looking at the map quoted in #10, the bay looks like to be more favored for women.
AMEN!
The great SF-dating debate returns! Round 3!
Meta-clarification: when I said “we” in my earlier comment, I meant we who attend DC meetups. When I put up wrap-up posts, which people in many cities enjoy and find appealing, they discuss DC meetups. I wasn’t attempting to use a royal “We” or speak on behalf of the bunker…SM doesn’t have hard and fast rules for how to do things. As someone who has hosted more of them than anyone else, I thought I’d provide some “lessons learned” while assuring potential attendees that it really is as chill and fun as the write-ups make them sound, since I was hearing concerns via back channels as well, that this weekend was going to be “different”.
Over the past week, I’ve read comments like, “DC has nametags” and I’ve mentioned (as a joke, I generally don’t imitate Freshman orientation) doing icebreakers so people learn names, etc…over the last few days, a lot of meetup-related dialogue has been based on confusion and less than accurate assumptions. I wanted to set the record straight before SF meets. No pun intended.
In the future, if anyone has concerns, I would hope they would email me directly vs. assuming anything about what I’ve said or where I’m coming from…well, instead of assuming the worst, period.
jinx, SFGirl! 😉
so the girls are saying SF is mediocre and I’m saying it’s great. Sounds like we are agreeing on the reality of situation from opposite preferences.
we are agreeing on the reality of situation
come to think of it, i barely know any single women OR men in SF. i need to get the hell out of dodge.
If the concensus is, “yeah there are lots of guys but they all suck” then sure that might make SF a bad dating place, but relatively speaking to a place with a plurality of women, it’s still better. Unless you claim that women in SF don’t mind going lesbo.
It’s this last possibility I’m (cautiously) trying to get folks to entertain — at least before lumping all SF dudes as “undateable” 😉
I don’t think the guys in SF suck. I think a lot are gay, some move in different social circles, and SF is just generally a sucky city for singles (I swear to god there are polls to that effect)
I never said they were undateable, I just said they just were missing from SF.. but then again the socially inept thing is always possible 😉
ahh.. but some (many? most?) SF dudes who live here say it sucks because of the numbers. Particularly the desi dudes who complain that’s it such a “desi woman’s market” out here….. 😉
Not that Im doubting your statement, but how many people do you know living in big cities say, “wow this city is great for dating” regardless what tha ratio of single men:single women is.
Square 1 anyone? Maybe the desi women here are not the desi men’s type and vice versa.. (what the hell, I thought I’d throw that possibility in there too!)
As a woman, I think SF is awesome! I met the love of my life here, so for that reason alone, it rocks way more than Berkeley, ’cause I never got laid as a college student.
Now, maybe this is a California thing in general, but I have found that men and women alike tend to be flakey here and think nothing of canceling a date last minute. Now that we’ve ruled out ugliness, perhaps it’s just the noncommittal attitudes that make dating hard?
I don’t meet a lot of desi men in SF unless they’re gay or the stuffed-shirt software engineer type. Gay men love me, but the latter camp tend to fall in the lissome, straight-haired, I-banker girls. 🙂
I don’t meet a lot of desi men in SF unless they’re gay or the stuffed-shirt software engineer type
is SF that gay that even the software engineers stuff their shirts?
On the serious tip, two points.
And we are back to La Perla girls 🙂 I have NEVER heard a desi woman say that SF is a great place for desi-on-desi dating.
HMF, I’ve heard positive reviews of being single in other cities, for sure, and as a singleton have had a much more fun time being single in cities besides SF. Not that I don’t love SF, I do. I just don’t love it for dating.