Who is SKINNY? [Updated]

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I wrote a post this weekend which questioned certain commenters’ assertions regarding how “hot Desi girls seem to end up with White guys”. We discussed that misconception as well as…well, a few dozen other subjects, but that’s natural over the course of 1,349 comments. One sub-thread which I followed avidly involved I-bankers and their (for some) elusive prey: the skinny, hyper-maintained, hot brown girl with stick-straight hair.

Some of you compassionately responded to your banking brethren, when they plaintively admitted that they weren’t sure where to locate their loins’ fondest desire; instructions, right down to locations, days of the week and yes, auspicious times of day (yo, are we brown or are we BROWN) were offered and happily accepted. Much like the original exchange which inspired my post on interracial dating, which is where this comedy of heir-ers was going down, what I noticed was that these weren’t one-off sentiments. To me, that made them difficult to dismiss.

The one word which kept surfacing, repeatedly, insistently, was skinny.

Predictably, evolved mutineers were outraged and immediately broadcasted it; even more predictable than that, the obligatory, “I can’t help it, it’s just what ruins my boxers”- volley occurred, so that there was essentially a stalemate. Around skinny. While all of them pondered if it was okay to come out and say that “skinny” was a requirement, and whether such a requiring was nothing to be ashamed of, I was transfixed by something else which was related, but not discussed.

What did skinny mean in this context?

To some, Kate Moss defines skinny. To others, the woman who is pictured on our left qualifies.

I like to know exactly what I’m offended by, before I gift someone with a new orifice, so I couldn’t get my outrage-on– not until this question was answered. Yes, yes…we should all eschew superficial everything and it’s terrible that we’re judging female books by their covers, but it’s also a gross reality. And I wanted to know how realistic these I(yer) bankers were.

There was another snag—we were discussing Manhattan.

It’s a rarified world and understandably, the benchmarks are different. Everything is relative (and apparently, if you are an Iyengar reading SM, YOU are all relatives…oy, how I wish that I could actually link to relevant comments from MY OWN POST, which would make my attempts at wit successful vs. inscrutable).

In most cities, D.C. included, my 450 sq ft studio is tiny. In Manhattan, my friend is thrilled to have that much space for her ONE-BEDROOM. In most cities, making six figures is awesome. In Manhattan, it barely affords the afore-mentioned shoe-box, rent-wise and that’s if you limit your methods for self-intoxicating to PBR (note: life is too short for PBR, my darlinks). Anyway, if everything is tougher, better, more competitive, more expensive and more EVERYTHING in Manhattan, then…do brown guys expect brown girls to be skinnier, too? And does skinny mean fit? Or just skinny?

My guy friends (the unManhattanites, if you will…I’m not counting the Murray Hill dwellers et al for the purposes of this fluffy post) would line up giddily for a shot at the gorgeous girl above. Would our I(yengar) bankers? I think we have a bit of a vested interest in all this; the majority of the Desi vomen whom I am privileged to know are curvaceous, if they’re out of their teens. For most men, that’s a good thing. My male buddies don’t like straight lines—on the roads they’re about to break laws on or…uh…you know.

Curves are good. Right? Left? Those are definitely curves, on the left.

So, as I said memorably (and almost 1,700 comments ago!), out with it then. Let’s have the truth. What do you want? Is the woman I’ve wrapped this post around zaftig or is she just right? Err, left? You know what I mean. And this ain’t no heteronormative joint. I’ll be the first to tell you that she could inspire me to discover a love that dare not speak its naam. 😉 What about you?

::

isin’t that a picture of you ANNA?? or may be your sister?

While it easily could be, because my sister and I both have huge, bubble-like Malayalee kundis which resemble two coconuts attached to our lower back, and yes, apparently we also both have “thunder-thighs” like our helpful model above, no, it’s neither me nor my little sister.

I look exactly like that in jeans.

I am dismayed that some of you think that her thighs are ugly, but to each their own; we are attracted to what we are attracted to and that’s that. I bring this up not to call you out (S, you know you and labbie singh are my peeps), but to speak to the women who are lurking, who have body image issues. Because believe me, they are here and they are reading this. They inspired this.

I have no problems in NYC or SF or DC…guess my hatred-since-infancy of LA has protected me from an eating disorder, since I am a size 8, not a size 4, and that is too big for La-La land.

I like my body. I like it so much, I don’t give a shit about telling you the truth– I am 5’6″ and I weigh a whopping 148 lbs. I’ve gained weight, since hurting my leg, because I no longer get to walk the three miles home from work. To go from walking more than 20 miles a week to not being mobile at all…well, it takes a toll. I’ve gained eight pounds, which I can’t be fucked to cry over, because I’m more upset over losing lean mass and the ability to walk comfortably, without pain or this huge, heavy, unwieldy cast on my leg.

To the young woman whose email to me on Facebook inspired this entire post:

Please stop calling yourself “fat” and “ugly”. You look exactly like this picture, I know, because I went through your albums and found one taken at a similar angle. You don’t have luck with desi guys in NYC because of timing, circumstance or that nakshatram with the tree or whatever– NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE OBESE. When you kept reading about how guys like Puli et al want “skinny” desi girls, in the mega-thread, they were talking about you, my darling girl.

I proved this. I proved my point.

The majority of men on this thread think that the woman pictured above isn’t just beautiful but hot, gorgeous, attractive, ideal.

Please eat your lunch today. And your dinner. And work-out, but do so because your heart and lungs and future grandchildren deserve to be taken care of– you’re too precious to starve, especially at your own hands.

To quote you, “Shocker. Indian girls have eating disorders, too.”

Well, they shouldn’t have to– no human should. Eat. Be healthy. Fall in love with yourself. Life is too short for bullshit, and that goes for all of you.

Thunder thighed-Anna, over and out.

785 thoughts on “Who is SKINNY? [Updated]”

  1. For the benefit of general population, puLi is pronounced with a heavy retroflex L (tongue curled back against the roof of the mouth), while puli uses your everyday palatal or dental l].

    can someone tell me whether punjabi has the same sound? i had earlier understood that it is only the south indian languages (plus marathi) and their dialects have this. but i have often thought i heard this sound when i hear punjabi…

  3. Question for Tambrams or those descended from any brahms: if you visit a temple in India (for religious or touristy reasons) and they asked you to line up based on your Brahmin-ness or non-Brahmin-ness, would you meekly accomodate their request? If so, in which line would you choose to fall?

    the shorter one.

  4. Puli, I had your back even tho intern came to the rescue..gracias

    thanks…

  5. yikes. perhaps posting my e-mail address was a bad idea.

    I was remarking to someone in the bunker the other day, that the moment when SM changed is when people stopped doing that. It’s sad that people don’t feel safe.

    I am so sorry for the last spate of comments, which you certainly did not deserve, considering how marvelously good a sport you have been about this post and others which reference comments, some of which you’ve made, humorously.

    I deleted as quickly as I could. And will continue to do so. You are a community favorite and I want you to

    a) stay

    b) feel just as free and playful as you did a scant 30 mins ago.

  6. puli, i think very few people saw it before it was deleted, and those who did have your back. don’t go!

  7. I was remarking to someone in the bunker the other day, that the moment when SM changed is when people stopped doing that. It’s sad that people don’t feel safe. I am so sorry for the last spate of comments, which you certainly did not deserve, considering how marvelously good a sport you have been about this post and others which reference comments, some of which you’ve made, humorously. I deleted as quickly as I could. And will continue to do so. You are a community favorite and I want you to a) stay b) feel just as free and playful as you did a scant 30 mins ago.

    ohh….who am i kidding. i cant stay mad at the mutiny….

  8. yeah puli, that was not cool and please don’t leave just cause someone decided to do something asinine.

  9. chachaji wrote:

    But anyway, if I was a guy or played for the other team, the girl in the picture would do it for me…
    I was staying off this thread, but No Desh’s comment was one of the more crass I have ever come across anywhere in this context, so I wanted to come in and say so.

    chachji – I’m not sure if you just misread who wrote the quoted statement or you didn’t like something else I wrote or just [sub]consciously don’t like me, but that statement above is from zen #235, NOT me.

  10. if you visit a temple in India (for religious or touristy reasons) and they asked you to line up based on your Brahmin-ness or non-Brahmin-ness, would you meekly accomodate their request? If so, in which line would you choose to fall?

    I haven’t entered a Hindu temple in over 10 years, either in India or here. Not even with the enticements of puliyodharai and sakkarai pongal!

    PindaUSA, I didn’t see your profile (what sort of a**hole does that kind of thing anyway?), and I am still honored to be your wingman.

    the shorter one.

    dingchak, according to this though, that line might be wider.

  11. This part above from 409:

    I was staying off this thread, but No Desh’s comment was one of the more crass I have ever come across anywhere in this context, so I wanted to come in and say so.

    should have been in blockquotes.

  12. Thanks Jeet@258. 🙂

    Malathi@393. Though bram, my mom and her sister routinely go to the non-bram side whenever her cousin hosts this meal. Everyone knows it and loves/hates them for it.

  13. Malathi@393. Though bram, my mom and her sister routinely go to the non-bram side whenever her cousin hosts this meal. Everyone knows it and loves/hates them for it.

    ive never seen that happen in a temple. is it common practice? if i stayed in the temple i would do it, but i think i would rather leave.

  14. HMF, i don’t disagree with you. but in situations where drinks are (able) to be bought, it’s probably rather crowded, loud, not intimate (i’m thinking bars, lounges, parties etc) so, initially, there is no way to go except on the physical. there is always the risk that things will only be physical – but you never know how things will go. also, i’m not sure the message always has to be ‘i’m not as hot as you’ – it can sometimes simply be only that ‘i’ll buy you the drink so we can talk a little longer.’ anyway, if by hot you only mean the physical, sure, initially, but maybe he’s buying the drink to show her just how hot he is overall, and will end up showing her his oh-so-smooth moves 😉

  15. This is EXACTLY my point. A women knows why you’re buying it for her, so the minute the glass enters her hand, she’s on DEFCON 2 already.

    Not true at all. Sometimes knowing why might strengthen your hand. Trust a Nobel winner.

  16. My question may appear to be off-topic (not that it seems to matter much anyway); but my redemption lies in the fact that I am bringing a desi angle to the concept of beauty/looks. How many of the 2nd generations here can still ‘identify’ desis by how they look, similar to how several 1st generation desis or desis in desiland seem to do? There is “an Iyengar look; an Iyer look; a Nadar look; a Christian look; a Muslim look” etc, apparently, even within one region/ethnicity. And I wouldn’t be honest if I completely distanced myself from this phenomenon. My husband, who wasn’t raised in India, is always surprised when I ‘guess’ which part of India, or which ‘community’ somebody we meet belongs to. And if you do ‘recognize’ lineage (for lack of a better, neutral term) do you have a personal preference? Is there a hierarchy of Indian beauty personally for you (you as in whoever ventures to answer this question honestly)?

    I can do a pretty good attempt at figuring out what “region” someone is from in India based on my own stereotypes of what someone from that region would look like. The funny thing about assumption on something so superficial is that it really makes some people look foolish. I’m not Brahmin, I’m marrying into a Brahmin family. Apparently they “look” Brahmin. My mother and her entire family “looks” Brahmin (because apparently ALL light eyed light skinned folks are ONLY Brahmin) and quite a few people assumed our wedding was an “arrangement” because you know god forbid we’d venture out of our caste never mind that we might actually find someone exactly the same on our own! It’s all so insanely ridiculous I can’t even begin to tell you.

    As for heirarchy I’ll be damned. From all my interactions with people from desh I tend to find people from the general south to be generally down to earth, more simple and less showy/pompous. All of the things I rarely find among North Indians. No not trying to start a flame war. Doesn’t make me love my friends any less but since we are talking about general perceptions without getting to know someone on a deeper level.

  17. Yea man, if you leave how would we get the skinny chicks this Friday? maybe i’ll get some just by hangin on your coatails

  18. I tend to find people from the general south to be generally down to earth, more simple and less showy/pompous. All of the things I rarely find among North Indians.

    I agree. We Lemurians definitely outstrip those Scythians in our modesty.

  19. Is there a hierarchy of Indian beauty personally for you (you as in whoever ventures to answer this question honestly)?

    1) well, brown people kind of look similar to me. i can make out coarse differences (tall light, short dark).

    2) but yes, a lot of brownz surprise me with their regional specificity in identification.

    3) and of course there is a hierarchy. the whiter you look, the better. i just wish that american browns who do “look white” would remember that there are genuine white people around, so they should chill on the ‘tude 😉 it’s embarrassing.

  20. HMF, i don’t disagree with you. but in situations where drinks are (able) to be bought, it’s probably rather crowded, loud, not intimate (i’m thinking bars, lounges, parties etc) so, initially, there is no way to go except on the physical. there is always the risk that things will only be physical – but you never know how things will go. also, i’m not sure the message always has to be ‘i’m not as hot as you’ – it can sometimes simply be only that ‘i’ll buy you the drink so we can talk a little longer.’ anyway, if by hot you only mean the physical, sure, initially, but maybe he’s buying the drink to show her just how hot he is overall, and will end up showing her his oh-so-smooth moves 😉

    geez. if you pay for drink you are sleaze. if you dont you are cheap. im between Iraq and a hard place. I just cant win…

  22. Folks, kidding aside, those of you in the Minneapolis area, hope all your friends, family, and loved ones are safe.

  23. From all my interactions with people from desh I tend to find people from the general south to be generally down to earth, more simple and less showy/pompous. All of the things I rarely find among North Indians.

    sometimes people can be less pompous when are “around their own kind.” you might consider that the difference in behavior is not an essential attribute, but a situational reaction. i don’t know if that is the truth, but despite differences in average personality between groups i do think that most ethnicities are a lot more comfortable and at ease with “their own kind.”

  24. HMF, i don’t disagree with you. but in situations where drinks are (able) to be bought, it’s probably rather crowded, loud, not intimate (i’m thinking bars, lounges, parties etc) so, initially, there is no way to go except on the physical. there is always the risk that things will only be physical – but you never know how things will go. also, i’m not sure the message always has to be ‘i’m not as hot as you’ – it can sometimes simply be only that ‘i’ll buy you the drink so we can talk a little longer.’ anyway, if by hot you only mean the physical, sure, initially, but maybe he’s buying the drink to show her just how hot he is overall, and will end up showing her his oh-so-smooth moves 😉

    Gosh is it really that complicated? I mean in the grand scheme of things is a drink really that expensive that it needs to be the determining factor for some power playing between two people possibly interested in each other. If you are both in a bar and drinking what is the big deal about offering a drink, to either person, man or woman? I doubt men overanalyzing the small act of buying an attractive woman a drink in a bar this much. Do they? Hell I’m a chick and if a guy after trying to pitch a tent up my ass didn’t offer to buy me a drink he’d just be cheap in my books not powerplaying I hope.

  25. sometimes people can be less pompous when are “around their own kind.” you might consider that the difference in behavior is not an essential attribute, but a situational reaction. i don’t know if that is the truth, but despite differences in average personality between groups i do think that most ethnicities are a lot more comfortable and at ease with “their own kind.”

    this might be true….a lot of normal people get uber defensive around people from another ethnicity, lest they make their people look bad.

  26. pitch a tent up my ass

    judging by comments over the last couple of days, that seems to be popular around these here parts…

  27. also, i’m not sure the message always has to be ‘i’m not as hot as you’ – it can sometimes simply be only that ‘i’ll buy you the drink so we can talk a little longer.’

    Either way, it’s supplicating. And I guess it was poor phrasing, but the general idea is, “I am not worthy enough to be in your presence, so I must purchase you something to compensate” Again, this logic only holds true in the intial stages, when you know nothing else.

    And from a more practical standpoint, if the girl is a total hottie, it’s not exactly a novel idea. So the girl just accepts the drink, drinks it and classified you as “one of those normal drink buyers” And it’s game over. – Ladies, I’d like you to contest that logic.

    Sometimes knowing why might strengthen your hand.

    Not in this case, because buying a drink without explicitly stating the purpose, and having her know it anyway will always be detrimental. I believe the feynman case was an explicit stating of the fact.

  28. geez. if you pay for drink you are sleaze. if you dont you are cheap. im between Iraq and a hard place. I just cant win…

    i don’t even know how you gave that response to my statement. but if you used the iraq line on me, i might just get up and walk away, free g&t be damned…

    JOAT, i didn’t mean it like that – what i meant was, in those situatiosn, offering to buy a drink is a gesture of stating physical attraction (not always) but from there, it can go anywhere. honestly, i don’t think it means much, seeing as it’s become rather common, and either party should feel free to walk away at any point without any offense. plus i’m a lightweight – i’m not going to need more than $10 of drinks spent on me, which i can pay for myself 😉

  29. I haven’t entered a Hindu temple in over 10 years, either in India or here. Not even with the enticements of puliyodharai and sakkarai pongal!

    Rahul, your response made me realize that the option of opting out of any line is available for Brahmins too (because essentially that is what you are doing), and I didn’t visualize it and offer it as the third option.

  30. And from a more practical standpoint, if the girl is a total hottie, it’s not exactly a novel idea. So the girl just accepts the drink, drinks it and classified you as “one of those normal drink buyers” And it’s game over. – Ladies, I’d like you to contest that logic. Sometimes knowing why might strengthen

    so….what should i be doing instead of buying a drink. pl provide this info before tomorrow!

  31. i don’t even know how you gave that response to my statement. but if you used the iraq line on me, i might just get up and walk away, free g&t be damned…

    thats still 1 step better than getting the drink thrown in my face….yes

  32. sometimes people can be less pompous when are “around their own kind.” you might consider that the difference in behavior is not an essential attribute, but a situational reaction. i don’t know if that is the truth, but despite differences in average personality between groups i do think that most ethnicities are a lot more comfortable and at ease with “their own kind.”

    Really? I’m not from the south. And really I consider myself American so I’m most comfortable around non Brownz in the grand scheme of things. That’s where I bust out my real self. For the brown crowd I always have to disguise my real self for whatever lame reason. I think that just comes inbuilt when you are born an Indain woman.

    Anyway I’m not even talking about my personal interactions with them. It’s summertime so I’ve been literally going to weddings every weekend and I love weddings for people watching. It’s interesting to unfortunately see some of the stereotypes true. The drunk Punjabi uncle embarrassing himself, never seen an uncle from any other region misbehaving. The Sindhi aunties preening over each others newest 50ct diamond necklace and then talking shit behind each others backs.

    I’ve been to several weddings this summer including White/Pakistani, Punjabi/Gujju, Punjabi/White, Marathi/Kannada-Tamil etc and even among their own kind there are certain behavior traits that are hard to dismiss. You can always tell the difference between a Punjabi aunty, a Gujju aunty and a South Indian auntie even if they are wearing the same style of sari from just the type of sari and jewelry and hair styles. Of all the groups the Kannada-Tamil group was the quietest of partiers.

  33. Hell I’m a chick and if a guy after trying to pitch a tent up my ass didn’t offer to buy me a drink he’d just be cheap in my books not powerplaying I hope.

    Yea but buying the drink would not advance him in his quest either, by your logic, “its just a drink” And it’s not a matter of the value of the object, rather the motivation, yes, him offering you a ferrari might send a radically differenct signal than a heineken, however the underlying motivation is the same – “I’m not good enough a human being, so I have to buy your attention”

  34. Kannada-Tamil group was the quietest of partiers

    i think thats true. punju parties more fun, but if your not a dancing fan, southie parties are easier to deal with.

  35. I believe the feynman case was an explicit stating of the fact.

    I never said implicit. You said that it is DEFCON 2 (threat alert?) because she knows why you’re buying it for her. I was negating that aspect of your point.

    In seriousness, I find these games about drink buying (or analyzing them) utterly jejune, and I almost certainly wouldn’t be a good match for somebody who’s keeping score on these counts. Asymptotically, these things are irrelevant, so who cares?

  36. I have a lot of respect for the women who aren’t skinny/thin/slim and love their bodies. I think it’s damn hard. I’d be scared out of my mind to gain weight. I tend straddle the skinny/thin line. For long as I can remember, when someone compliments me, they almost always bring up my weight, “Oh you’re so beautiful/pretty/cute and SKINNY.” The issue was brought up at a meeting at my work this morning. Several of the women had to comment how darling I was and how they wished they were just as skinny. So I wouldn’t be cute if I put on some weight? I can’t objectively say I wouldn’t b/c I’m sorta brainwashed on what attractive is.

    Skinny doesn’t mean healthy. I think a lot of women who are underweight/borderline unhealthy have the correct lingo so that no one can call them unhealthy. I admit I have used the lingo.

    One Example: -No I’m not eating today. I’m on a detox.. cleansing my body. (Translation: I need to look super skinny to look awesome in a dress for Friday night)

    I can say that I’m pretty healthy now. If you consider healthy to eat less than 1500 calories a day.. goal of 1300calories/day while being 5’5″. Work out a minimum of 5 times a week. I don’t consider myself anoerexic. But my goal is to be skinny with breasts. Doing whatever it takes to have the flattest stomach possible, thin arms & legs. Of course muscle for tone.

    I wish I were free to truly believe that I would still be beautiful if I were a few pounds heavier. But I don’t.

  37. i would think that the hotness of the guy changes the perception of the drink buying. the difference between “that geeky dude just bought me a drink” and “oooohhh….that hot guy bought me a drink”

  38. i would think that the hotness of the guy changes the perception of the drink buying. the difference between “that geeky dude just bought me a drink” and “oooohhh….that hot guy bought me a drink”

    an ugly who asks a woman out is engaging in sexual harrassment 😉 remember that.

  39. How many of the 2nd generations here can still ‘identify’ desis by how they look, similar to how several 1st generation desis or desis in desiland seem to do? There is “an Iyengar look; an Iyer look; a Nadar look; a Christian look; a Muslim look” etc, apparently, even within one region/ethnicity.

    I can’t help but when I meet a south asian, I want to know where they are from b/c I find it interesting and if they’re from Kerala than it’s cool to figure out if our families know/live near each other.

    But I’ve found I just can’t tell people’s regional affiliations or caste for that matter by how they look. Too much variation even within a family. To most people my mother and I do not look anything alike, nor so many of my cousins. If I get someone’s regional affiliation correct just based on look, than more than likely it’s just by chance that a stereotype that lies in my head actually matches the person’s region; And then I’ll meet another 20 desis who (if I just looked at looks) I’ll never get right.

  40. im between Iraq and a hard place.

    That’s what muralimannered says when he takes one of his muscled muses home for the night. He calls his headboard Iraq, btw.

  41. What is with guys wanting “skinny girls with boobs” and girls want to be “skinny with boobs”? What about “skinny with BOOTY”? no ass men here?

  42. “I’m not good enough a human being, so I have to buy your attention”

    awww! you make it seem so depressing. How I wish they use it in the next Bond movie.. Mojito?

  43. because she knows why you’re buying it for her. I was negating that aspect of your point.

    True, I wasn’t clear, what I meant to say is, ‘she knows the underlying motivation, despite your attempt to cloak it’

    In seriousness, I find these games about drink buying (or analyzing them) utterly jejune, and I almost certainly wouldn’t be a good match for somebody who’s keeping score on these counts. Asymptotically, these things are irrelevant, so who cares?

    It’s not just drink buying, it’s buying stuff too early in general. I did say the effect could vary depending on how the drink was offered. A friend of mine (DBD female) went on a setup with a DBD, the dude showed up with a gift-wrapped present. She kindly rejected it saying, “I think it’s too soon” she said the rest of the date was discomfort central, at the end she booked for the door quicker than carl lewis on ‘roids. (ladies, nodding your heads going, ‘uh huh’ , ‘uh huh’, ‘uh huh’)

    i would think that the hotness of the guy changes the perception of the drink buying.

    Puli, yes the hotness does play an effect, but this isn’t limited to drink buying, a hot guy could urinate in her ear, and it would be, “oooh he’s so creative and mysterious”

  46. Rahul wrote:

    … in the picture seems healthy, has a full set of strong teeth, plenty of hair …
    chachaji, are you a sheep/horse breeder?

    BWAH!!

  47. Puli, yes the hotness does play an effect, but this isn’t limited to drink buying, a hot guy could urinate in her ear, and it would be, “oooh he’s so creative and mysterious”

    oddly enough, that aint creative any more. its been overdone

  49. chachji – I’m not sure if you just misread who wrote the quoted statement or you didn’t like something else I wrote or just [sub]consciously don’t like me, but that statement above is from zen #235, NOT me.

    Yes, she was responding to your remark, and I thought my comment would appear right after hers. But we have so much traffic on this thread, that it appeared several comments later. So yes, your earlier comment ‘junk in the trunk’ was so crass I thought I would come in on this thread, only to say that this is not how all, or even most, men think.

  50. Jeet said:

    I am just gonna state the obvious, I think us people in NYC are swarmed with beautiful women from all around the world. So to measure a girl’s beauty by one set of rules shouldnt even be considered. We have SO many girls who are gorgeous, its not even fair. I need to take out Puli with me and show him the ropes.

    BINGO.

    You’ve said what many of my NYC girlfriends have stated to me countless times…there are so many gorgeous, skinny, look-alike girls in NYC that the competition is fierce and the guys have the pick of the litter. Of oft-mentioned complaint from my girlfriends is that they have no problem going on 1-2 dates with guys, it’s getting that guy to stay in the long run. There are just too many girls (choices) around them to motivate any one guy to settle down.

    I know of two girls who actively moved out of NYC because their ‘heftier’ body types was according them absolutely no attention (and they were getting increasingly frustrated and beaten down).