I wrote a post this weekend which questioned certain commenters’ assertions regarding how “hot Desi girls seem to end up with White guysâ€. We discussed that misconception as well as…well, a few dozen other subjects, but that’s natural over the course of 1,349 comments. One sub-thread which I followed avidly involved I-bankers and their (for some) elusive prey: the skinny, hyper-maintained, hot brown girl with stick-straight hair.
Some of you compassionately responded to your banking brethren, when they plaintively admitted that they weren’t sure where to locate their loins’ fondest desire; instructions, right down to locations, days of the week and yes, auspicious times of day (yo, are we brown or are we BROWN) were offered and happily accepted. Much like the original exchange which inspired my post on interracial dating, which is where this comedy of heir-ers was going down, what I noticed was that these weren’t one-off sentiments. To me, that made them difficult to dismiss.
The one word which kept surfacing, repeatedly, insistently, was skinny.
Predictably, evolved mutineers were outraged and immediately broadcasted it; even more predictable than that, the obligatory, “I can’t help it, it’s just what ruins my boxersâ€- volley occurred, so that there was essentially a stalemate. Around skinny. While all of them pondered if it was okay to come out and say that “skinny†was a requirement, and whether such a requiring was nothing to be ashamed of, I was transfixed by something else which was related, but not discussed.
What did skinny mean in this context?
To some, Kate Moss defines skinny. To others, the woman who is pictured on our left qualifies.
I like to know exactly what I’m offended by, before I gift someone with a new orifice, so I couldn’t get my outrage-on– not until this question was answered. Yes, yes…we should all eschew superficial everything and it’s terrible that we’re judging female books by their covers, but it’s also a gross reality. And I wanted to know how realistic these I(yer) bankers were.
There was another snag—we were discussing Manhattan.
It’s a rarified world and understandably, the benchmarks are different. Everything is relative (and apparently, if you are an Iyengar reading SM, YOU are all relatives…oy, how I wish that I could actually link to relevant comments from MY OWN POST, which would make my attempts at wit successful vs. inscrutable).
In most cities, D.C. included, my 450 sq ft studio is tiny. In Manhattan, my friend is thrilled to have that much space for her ONE-BEDROOM. In most cities, making six figures is awesome. In Manhattan, it barely affords the afore-mentioned shoe-box, rent-wise and that’s if you limit your methods for self-intoxicating to PBR (note: life is too short for PBR, my darlinks). Anyway, if everything is tougher, better, more competitive, more expensive and more EVERYTHING in Manhattan, then…do brown guys expect brown girls to be skinnier, too? And does skinny mean fit? Or just skinny?
My guy friends (the unManhattanites, if you will…I’m not counting the Murray Hill dwellers et al for the purposes of this fluffy post) would line up giddily for a shot at the gorgeous girl above. Would our I(yengar) bankers? I think we have a bit of a vested interest in all this; the majority of the Desi vomen whom I am privileged to know are curvaceous, if they’re out of their teens. For most men, that’s a good thing. My male buddies don’t like straight lines—on the roads they’re about to break laws on or…uh…you know.
Curves are good. Right? Left? Those are definitely curves, on the left.
So, as I said memorably (and almost 1,700 comments ago!), out with it then. Let’s have the truth. What do you want? Is the woman I’ve wrapped this post around zaftig or is she just right? Err, left? You know what I mean. And this ain’t no heteronormative joint. I’ll be the first to tell you that she could inspire me to discover a love that dare not speak its naam. 😉 What about you?
::
isin’t that a picture of you ANNA?? or may be your sister?
While it easily could be, because my sister and I both have huge, bubble-like Malayalee kundis which resemble two coconuts attached to our lower back, and yes, apparently we also both have “thunder-thighs” like our helpful model above, no, it’s neither me nor my little sister.
I look exactly like that in jeans.
I am dismayed that some of you think that her thighs are ugly, but to each their own; we are attracted to what we are attracted to and that’s that. I bring this up not to call you out (S, you know you and labbie singh are my peeps), but to speak to the women who are lurking, who have body image issues. Because believe me, they are here and they are reading this. They inspired this.
I have no problems in NYC or SF or DC…guess my hatred-since-infancy of LA has protected me from an eating disorder, since I am a size 8, not a size 4, and that is too big for La-La land.
I like my body. I like it so much, I don’t give a shit about telling you the truth– I am 5’6″ and I weigh a whopping 148 lbs. I’ve gained weight, since hurting my leg, because I no longer get to walk the three miles home from work. To go from walking more than 20 miles a week to not being mobile at all…well, it takes a toll. I’ve gained eight pounds, which I can’t be fucked to cry over, because I’m more upset over losing lean mass and the ability to walk comfortably, without pain or this huge, heavy, unwieldy cast on my leg.
To the young woman whose email to me on Facebook inspired this entire post:
Please stop calling yourself “fat” and “ugly”. You look exactly like this picture, I know, because I went through your albums and found one taken at a similar angle. You don’t have luck with desi guys in NYC because of timing, circumstance or that nakshatram with the tree or whatever– NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE OBESE. When you kept reading about how guys like Puli et al want “skinny” desi girls, in the mega-thread, they were talking about you, my darling girl.
I proved this. I proved my point.
The majority of men on this thread think that the woman pictured above isn’t just beautiful but hot, gorgeous, attractive, ideal.
Please eat your lunch today. And your dinner. And work-out, but do so because your heart and lungs and future grandchildren deserve to be taken care of– you’re too precious to starve, especially at your own hands.
To quote you, “Shocker. Indian girls have eating disorders, too.”
Well, they shouldn’t have to– no human should. Eat. Be healthy. Fall in love with yourself. Life is too short for bullshit, and that goes for all of you.
Thunder thighed-Anna, over and out.
She was skinnier before I clicked and enlarged her.
First? Girl in pic Hawwt bod.
damn you rahul, damn you to hell
Meh. Maybe if she wasn’t a Jets fan.
Is this like “hot or not?”
The girl in the pic is hot! Much hotter than Kate Moss. I prefer girls to not look like 10 yr. old boys!
10 yr old boys on the other hand…
Harbeer, I think that’s a Nets shirt (as in basketball).
Ahhh. Asked and answered.
In that case, YOWZA!!! (Harbeer is obviously not much of a sports fan and makes bad jokes.)
hot bod, bad style.
….Meh… kinda cute.. not liking the hair..
It’s more like me trying to drive myself insane, by posing that all-important question which many of us would love an answer to, since it shall determine whether we cowgirl up and hit the gym tonight– what do brown guys LIKE?
I put this post up after
a) a guy whom I know called this girl FAT
b) a mutineer noticed my comment, was kind enough to request that this photo be emailed for research purposes and then provided me with, um, research.
😉
Too much junk in the trunk for my tastes. Incidentally, using an angled view like this probably isn’t the best thing to do b/c it makes her look trimmer than she is. How about a full frontal view or a profile view (obviously of another subject since I doubt this one had a whole set of images done)?
This girl is NOT fat. She looks pretty fit. Her being fat is CRAZY talk. CRAZY.
oh and i wouldn’t call her skinny, but certainly “fit” or “thin.” skinny to me suggests something different — more unhealthy, maybe.
is that beyonce, btw? or some non-celeb? (i realize you can’t reveal this for the sake of the exercise)
I think Beyonce is a lovely looking girl. I,my sister,nieces,other girl (black) friends do not think she is skinny. In contrast to “mil do peas”, or what ever that users name was on the mega thread, – I don’t think there is a HUGE disparity in what the ‘ideal’ body side is b-w. It might be a different thing on how frequent the ideal is archived, but I think there is a convergence in American culture on what is fat,what is medium, and what is skinny.
HA! Truth comes out! 😉
He’s entitled to his opinion and his rosy palm. Why begrudge him that?
Don’t tell me that I should interpret this:
similarly to Jack Nicholson’s “You can’t handle the truth!” 😉
I don’t see how she can be considered fat. I do have a [non-desi] friend who only dates girls that look like “concentration camp survivors” (his words). So this girl isn’t desi eh?
Does it matter? 😀 I know desi girls with VERY similar bodies…and curly hair, for that matter. The question isn’t whether this girl is desi, it’s whether those mischievous, horny i-bankers were asking for this awesomeness…or something less?
Speaking of hair…Daycruz! You’re Mallu! You HAVE to like curly hair. 😉
While you’re at it, how about a back view with a little sideboob and a backward glance?
i swear this is my last comment — but if that is who i think it is, i think that she is thin in this picture but she has definitely seen her chubbier days. i personally did not think she looked good heavier — some people wear extra weight extremely well, esp. if they are well toned, others look sloppy when they gain weight (i am in this latter category). so, if your friend said she was fat based on this picture only i would think he was crazy; if he called her fat in general, i would say that’s an exaggeration but not a complete surprise.
the girl is definitely thick. but not in a remotely bad way. women are supposed to have curves right? at least i think so. is she healthy? probably. is she “overweight”? probably. but not much at all.
In my opinion no two people are ever going to agree on the concept of skinny. The girl in the pic, super hot. Nice shapely legs, butt, upper body. Has nice hair. I wouldn’t even in my most delirious moment ever call her fat. WTF is wrong with people?
To me skinny is Kate Moss as are most of the Victoria Secret Models. If you look at them on the runway they are ribs with some tits (some I say because those damn bras come built in with breasts in them) and butts. They are super skinny under 110lbs and over 6 feet tall. There is nothing healthy about that. This chick is nicely shaped not fat at all.
I’m chunky, some people might call me superfat, my Italian girlfriend tells me I’m thick and there is nothing wrong with that. What matters is that my man thinks I’m a goddess 🙂 Fat people need love too you know.
She does look quite thunder-thighsy in the ill-fitted, 80s denim. From our side of the world (La-La land), skinny is anyone from a size 0-4. Anything over a size 4 is fat.
she looks to be around 14-15% body-fat–a very healthy number and one I wouldn’t feel guilty about supporting as it’s fairly sustainable.
And yes, in my droll fashion, I will finally get around to saying it: the body framed by your camera (or cropping) is indeed very attractive.
The only thing I object to is the Nets t-shirt.
She’s neither skinny nor fat. She’s in the vast range in between called Awesome 🙂
Amen girl.
i’m pretty sure that’s beyonce. it makes sense. she’s wearing jigga-man’s team’s t-shirt, the nets. looks like he’s in the background too.
I know this sounds awful, but I was actually going to say the same. She looks slim (and curvy) in small size, and curvier when her pic is “blown up.”
I was going to say, though, that she is totally NOT fat. When I think skinny, I think underweight, a la SS’s “concentration camp survivor” style where your collarbone is like, jutting out.
Then it should come as no surprise that the “answer(s)” are just as likely, if not more likely, to drive others insane. A query like this has no satisfying answer since the laws of attraction have as much nuance to them as the laws of physics. Besides saying “yes” or “no,” answers will probably consist of one-liners or worse (misogyny).
On a somehwhat related note, did anyone catch this brilliant article in last week’s New Yorker?
I just realized that the face is so important in perceiving how someone looks. Without a face in the above picture, I can’t determine whether this girl is hot or not. Subconsciously, that also determines whether I see her as skinny, or normal, or fat.
Anna: Hmmmm… a Nets fan…. Woooohooooo!!! Care to pass on my number to her? Mebbe she needs a shoulder to cry on after that hideous deal to keep Vince at the Meadowlands at least 4 more years. And she might find that this Brown can do good for her 😉
12
haha and we come back to hair!
I think that would actually put her slightly “underfat” for the average, non-athlete woman (right? isn’t the average for non-athletes 18-22%, and for athletes 12-14%?).
Abhi, I’m with you. I don’t think we’d ever move to a consensus. For example, she could fall within Saira’s “la la land” (it’s the same standard up in SF, btw!), but she could also be 4’11” and look curvier than if she was 5’2″. Who knows!?
Also, for the record, I think her thighs look GREAT (not thunder thighs at all, just not stick thin)
shee loox good.
I agree with Post 15:
She is not fat or zaftig at all, and anything otherwise is crazy talk. CRAZY.
P.S. I had to look up zaftig. Quite the word choice! 🙂
I know some browns who’d be looking at her and screaming “Ohhh, estoy por acabar !!” She’s gorgeous.
From Wikipedia:
Linda Evangelista 5’9″ 121 lbs Gisele Bundchen 5’11” 128 lbs Heidi Klum 5’9″ 119 lbs Adriana Lima 5’10” ? lbs Kate Moss – most photographers agree that she’s nowhere near her comp card height and is around the 5’5″ – 5’6″ range
None of the recent supermodels that I can think of has been six feet tall. See here for a list of tall women.
I know I might get flack from many on here for my next statement, so I apologize in advance. But, from my own experience in the visual arts, I find that many women who talk about other women being too skinny, etc., often have insecurities about their own body image, etc.
And, it’s hard to tell because of the angle and clothing, but I’d venture to put her body fat higher than 14-15%.
Props to you for posting a picture of my girl, B:) To me, she is perfect. She’s curvy in all the right places, fit and healthy. BUT, if you were to ask me to apply the word skinny to her, I would not. Slender, yes, but not skinny. Let me clarify before you think I mean to say she is anything besides perfection.
To me, slender, fit, thin all means that you are at your perfect weight for your body type, curves intact. Skinny is a word that connotates an Indian aunty moaning that you need to eat some more because you look like you are from Somalia. Skinny means you can stand to gain 10 lbs.
There are plenty of Indian guys I know who like SKINNY girls. I’m talking Mary Kate Ashley Olsen skinny. Girls who are all twig arms and legs and paper-thin. The only other requisite feature for them, besides all that narrowness, would be boobs. If they have some, that’s like the ultimate body type to some of these guys. Stick thin with boobs. Think Gisele Bundchen, (who some ppl have the audacity to call CURVY).
In my book, Jessica Alba and Gisele are NOT curvy. They are skinny with boobs. America Ferrara is curvy to me. Eva Mendes is slender and healthy and fit, just like Beyonce in my book. But that’s just me.
While there are plenty of Manhattan-stereotyped I-bankers who prefer stick-thin girls to curvier ones, there are plenty of other Indian male professionals who prefer a curvier stock of woman. As for the stick straight hair thing, I noticed all Mallu girls seem to have issues with feeling their best with curly hair. Sexy, tousled waves created by a curling iron not included. I’m talking natural ringlets. I’ve heard them say they are found to be more attractive and prettier with straight hair. But hair is another post altogether, which you’ve pointed out:)
OK sorry to break in with bad news but in case you guys haven’t turned on the TV or on the wrong coast, there has been a massive bridge collapse in MN at rush hour.
Jeez, SM has become a relationship/dating/group-hug blog. Not that I have any right to complain. You guys can blog about whatever you want, it’s your site. And clearly, the post which sparked 1400 comments shows the stuff that the junta cares passionately about. But it ain’t the SM it used to be.
Good body I guess, but too much “bling” for my tastes. I like a down-to-earth girl, T-shirt and jeans. Note: I realize this girl has a T-shirt and jeans on, but she also has 3″ heels, a purse that shines or is made out of jeans (??), and earrings bigger than…well they’re big.
Ok I’d like to revise, I agree with scorps1027 above, she’s not skinny, but that is a GREAT thing. Skinny is a bit sickly, she’s curvy and great, def not fat.
No Desh, if a woman is 5’9″ and 121 lbs, she is seriously skinny. I don’t say that out of a “body insecurity,” I say that because that is ridiculously light. With respect to personal body image issues, I don’t think this is always the case. [here comes an anecdote]
Example: I was an athlete in high school. At 17, I was an average height (5’5″), and relatively light, with low body fat (13-4%). I was by far one of the LARGEST girls in my high school (on a weight for height or size ratio), and went on to be one of the larger girls (among the “slim/athletic” girls — i.e. not the softball players/wrestlers/shot-putters) in college my frosh year. I personally felt great and felt good about myself, but I was also regularly told that I was “big” because I wore a size 6. It was also frustrating to try to find pants that clear my ass/hips, but don’t leave me wading at the waist-level. It took me six YEARS just to find jeans cut (relatively) for my body size. It was annoying to listen to my guy friends call perfectly healthy, normal sized girls “heavy” or “fat” [self not included, of course they weren’t going to call me fat to my face :)].
I really do think there is something seriously wrong with how we perceive a “healthy” body size when our expectation of “normal” puts women relatively underfat and underweight for their height.
Oooh, please, please, PLEASE will you not ban me for that last comment?
She’s curvy, I wouldn’t call her skinny. And I think most flesh and blood men (and women) like curves – something to hold on to, right wink
To another angle of the topic – are the bankers and/or people with with banker going to share what they’ve experienced? In case anyone’s curious – my firsthand experience with our desi bruthas on Wall Street is that they are hard up – oops I mean have a big HEART for amazing women like Mz. Accidental Enlightenment. I’ve gone out with/been pursued by several of them. I’ve never thought about whether my look exudes a certain skinny, straight-haired ‘je ne sais quoi’ to these prized bankers. (Honey, someone who works, lives and breathes the most boring details of the stock market ain’t no prize.) Ok, I’m not skinny, definitely slim if I lay off the ghee regularly. Straight hair, sure got that. My skin color – er we shall not go there 😉
Hmm, I guess that probably is Beyonce. Good to know, because I wasn’t into her before either 🙂