Feeling Sorry for the Sari [UPDATED]

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A few months ago, Shashi Tharoor wrote an essay which contained a “casual observation” about how less and less women in India were wearing saris. Upon hearing about his thoughts, desi women all over the world gifted Shashi with a new orifice, via email, blog, essay, and voodoo doll. A few women, my curmudgeonly mother included, agreed with Tharoor’s lament; like him, they were saddened by the ascent of the Salwar Kameez.

[I do think that Malayalees who are my Mom’s/Shashi’s age are extra vexed by how the sartorial times, they are a-changin’, since they so strongly identify saris as part of the Mallu identity, but more on that later. Or not.]

Tharoor wrote a follow-up piece recently, which I discovered via the news tab. I’ve excerpted the yummier parts for your digestion.

On how graceful and pretty saris are:

For centuries, if not millennia, the alluring garment, all five or six or nine yards of it, has been the defining drape of Indian womanhood. Cotton or silk, Banarasi or Pochampalli, shimmering Kanjeevaram or multi-coloured bandhani, with the pallav draped front-to-back over the left shoulder or in the Gujarati style back-to-front over the right, the sari has stood the test of time, climate and body shape.
Of all the garments yet invented by man (or, not to be too sexist about it, mankind) the sari did most to flatter the wearer. Unlike every other female dress on the planet, the sari could be worn with elegance by women of any age, size or shape: you could never be too fat, too short or too ungainly to look good in a sari. Indeed, if you were stout, or bowlegged, or thick-waisted, nothing concealed those handicaps of nature better than the sari. Women looked good in a sari who could never have got away with appearing in public in a skirt.

Tharoor is less caustic and more rational than my elderly Aunts are, about how much the North is to blame:

So why has this masterpiece of feminine attire begun fading from our streets? On recent visits home to India I have begun to notice fewer and fewer saris in our public places, and practically none in the workplace. The salwar kameez, the trouser and even the Western dress-suit have begun to supplant it everywhere. And this is not just a northern phenomenon, the result of the increasing dominance of our culture by Punjabi-ised folk who think nothing of giving masculine names to their daughters.
At a recent Press conference I addressed in Trivandrum, there were perhaps a dozen women journalists present. Only one was wearing a sari: the rest, all Keralites without exception, were in salwar-kameezes. And when I was crass enough to ask why none of the “young ladies” present wore saris, the one who did modestly suggested that she was no longer very young.

Actually, it’s the youths! And the feminists!

Youth clearly has something to do with it; very few of today’s under-30 women seem to have the patience for draping a sari, and few of them seem to think it suitable for the speed with which they scurry through their lives. (“Try rushing to catch a bus in a sari,” one young lady pointedly remarked, “and you’ll switch to jeans the next day.”)
But there’s also something less utilitarian about their rejection of the sari for daily wear. Today’s younger generation of Indian women seem to associate the garment with an earlier era, a more traditional time when women did not compete on equal terms in a man’s world. Putting on pants, or a Western woman’s suit, or even desi leggings in the former of a salwar, strikes them as more modern.
Freeing their legs to move more briskly than the sari permits is, it seems, a form of liberation; it removes a self-imposed handicap, releasing the wearer from all the cultural assumptions associated with the traditional attire.

I’ve noticed this about brown people, too. We are the last ones to keep it old skool in our “costumes” (Blech. I hate that word. As if I’d wear Kanjeevaram on October 31. Meh.):

I think this is actually a great pity. One of the remarkable aspects of Indian modernity has always been its unwillingness to disown the past; from our nationalists and reformers onwards, we have always asserted that Indians can be modern in ancient garb. Political ideas derived from nineteenth and twentieth-century thinkers have been articulated by men in mundus and dhotis that have not essentially changed since they were first worn two or three thousand years ago. (Statuary from the days of the Indus Valley Civilisation more than four thousand years ago show men draped in waistcloths that Mr Karunanidhi would still be happy to don.)
Gandhiji demonstrated that one did not have to put on a Western suit to challenge the British empire; when criticised by the British Press for calling upon the King in his simple loincloth, the Mahatma mildly observed, “His Majesty was wearing enough clothes for the two of us”. Where a Kemal Ataturk in Turkey banned his menfolk’s traditional fez as a symbol of backwardness and insisted that his compatriots don Western hats, India’s nationalist leaders not only retained their customary headgear, they added the defiantly desi “Gandhi cap” (oddly named, since Gandhiji himself never wore one). Our clothing has always been part of our sense of authenticity.
I REMEMBER being struck, on my first visit to Japan some fifteen years ago, by the ubiquitousness of Western clothing in that Asian country. Every Japanese man and woman in the street, on the subway or in the offices I visited wore suits and skirts and dresses; the kimono and its male equivalent were preserved at home, and brought out only for ceremonial occasions…
What will happen once the generation of women who grew up routinely wearing a sari every day dies out? The warning signs are all around us now. It would be sad indeed if, like the Japanese kimono, the sari becomes a rare and exotic garment in its own land, worn only to temples and weddings.

Find the rest of his essay here. Thoughts?

::

Anyone who makes my heart swell by calling me a term of endearment I haven’t heard in over two decades gets what they want. 🙂 Wish everyone were this easy to please.

Click to enlarge.

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I’ve read many of the comments below, which celebrate the beauty of wearing a sari “Gujurati-ishtyle”. While I have done that (with this very sari even!), I must gently demur– wearing one’s pallu the “boring” way ain’t so bad, I promise. 😉

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And yes, all my blouses are that conservative. Not a word, brown fashionistas. Not. a. word.

267 thoughts on “Feeling Sorry for the Sari [UPDATED]

  1. It’s funny…a lot of this talk of the sari fading away reminds me of Toshiro Mifune in ‘The Seven Samurai” rallying his samurai brethren: who had become dinosaurs…seems to me that we might learn from this…fashions change but the spirit lives on.

  2. Maybe mr. thuroor should wear a sari to work everyday, or better yet, why doesn’t he wear a lungi/doti to work?

  3. This one goes out to anyone who ever had a teacher fantasy…

    Amitabh, thanks! That was powerful stuff.

  4. Also, a saree is a more convenient garment for a quick ‘thappal’ in the park or over the backyard fence.
    My first “thappal” was in an Amby.

    melbourne desi, when they make “Indian Halwa”, you can play the Finch character. Any other places you have sanctified? Or places you haven’t, if that’s a shorter list.

  5. In my opinion, it is not really about feminism, it mostly about comfort and convenience. Even though Saris and salwaar-kameez both are very beautiful types of clothing, salwaar-kameezes are so much more comfortable!

    As for saris, if they are tied wrong, they look reallly bad like this or they look really good like the one posted above in the article.

  6. AK – a quickie is far easier in a saree than with any other garment. In case you are caught in the deed it is easier to pretend to be just chatting. Been there – done that. Not having read A Suitable Boy – no plans to either- I dont know the background to the question.

  7. I double-dog dare you to tell the next TamBrahm Patti you see, who is wearing madisaar (which is what you have linked to), that she has her sari tied incorrectly. 😉

  8. My first “thappal” was in an Amby.

    I’m starting to think Rahul remembers every comment ever made by anyone, anytime, on any thread. Be very afraid.

  9. Sari Sorry, my comment was meant for Meena @ 105. Didn’t mean to be random. That’s Rahul’s job. 😀

  10. Amby / park / backyard fence are some of the safe places when one is a poor but lusty lad. One’s abode is out of bounds for obvious reasons.

  11. AK – a quickie is far easier in a saree than with any other garment. In case you are caught in the deed it is easier to pretend to be just chatting. Been there – done that. Not having read A Suitable Boy – no plans to either- I dont know the background to the question.

    melbourne desi, you are a great revelation to sex in the indian context. i shall keep your tips in mind – it would be interesting to apply something i learned at SM to real life situations. as for the background of the quote, it is a conversation between two british men in india soon after partition – one of them has had experience with the local ladies, and the other, who asked the question, clearly did not.

  12. women should wear whatever they feel is convenient for them. the sari isn’t practical for many aspects of women’s lives today. however, the merits/demerits of tharoor’s essay aside (and he has a right to lament whatever he wants), the sari, half-sari etc and other unstitched clothing in all their regional (north to south), east to west) and other variations, trumps all other indian garments for me personally. it may not always be convenient for women’s lifestyles today, but they were worn before in hot, cold and whatever weather (but then women’s lifestyles were very different, so maybe it’s not the weather so much as the lifestyle changes). have nothing against the salwar-kameez (except those awful tent-like ones that make women shapeless, no matter what shape they are), but don’t think it’s in the same league as the sari (please, no accusations of hating!! just a personal preference). and i agree that the sari flatters more women of various shapes and sizes than almost any other garment (in fact i think any unstitched clothing from several cultures flatters people more than stitched clothing). to my biased and highly subjective eyes, a woman – thin, fat, round, square, tummy folds – looks much more elegant and stands out more in a well-draped sari than in a western-style outfit. it’s subjective, but they always look drabber and less shapely in the latter.

  13. AK – my pleasure. Wear a darker saree if you are going in for a quickie – it looks less dishevelled.

  14. From the blog post by Anna

    Gandhiji demonstrated that one did not have to put on a Western suit to challenge the British empire; when criticised by the British Press for calling upon the King in his simple loincloth, the Mahatma mildly observed, “His Majesty was wearing enough clothes for the two of us

    On a lighter note the above sentence reminds me of Ben Kingsley’s (the Gandhi guy) recent movie – You kill me. In one of the scenes he barges into San Francisco mayor’s ( or some local official’s ) office in “chaddi” and “banian” with the intention of threatening him. Ben Kingsley ask the mayor if he is frightened and why he is not calling the cops ? To which the local offical remarks that the way he is dressed doesn’t indicate that he is going to be very harmful

  15. And to complete my previous post….

    hearing this remark Ben takes out his gun from his chaddi much to the shock of the mayor and asks the question again. This time mayor is shivering and readily submits to the extortion/threatening that Ben had come for.

  16. Rahul – Indian halwa / finch ?? educate me please.

    melbourne desi, enjoy.

    I’m starting to think Rahul remembers every comment ever made by anyone, anytime, on any thread. Be very afraid.

    kusala, in the context of this thread, I think it is appropriate for you to know that I also wear dresses.

  17. When I have the time to write it once, pray to the grammar

    A N N A, it’s spelt grandma.

  18. Sari Virgin..

    A long choli might help or else, you can drape it Gujju style, over your shoulder and tucked in the back (unlike in this pic.

    You can also check out online sites such as http://www.benzer.com for inspiration. Happy Wedding!

  19. a lot of this talk of the sari fading away reminds me of Toshiro Mifune in ‘The Seven Samurai” rallying his samurai brethren: who had become dinosaurs…

    Reminds me of Yojimbo, that movie was sheer genius. The use of the kimono and the quick draw of the sword was replicated almost scene-for-scene by Sergio Leone, albeit with a poncho, in For a Few Dollars More. So much so that Kurosawa sued Leone for plagiarism and won.

    You’re welcome, Pondatti.

  20. Love the sari with pocket with iPod!

    It’s not like Indian clothes haven;t always changed. There was a nifty time in the seventies, when people were exploring old tailoring traditions, so that ghararas and shiraras were the hot thing for evening for a while– and they are great!

    Anyway, about saris, there have always been ways of wearing saris for work and they don’t include petticoats. The way we wear them middle class-wise now was made extra uncomfortable and impractical by the maharanis and socialites who caved to Victorian demands for them to wear the sari like a gigantic scarf over a dress made out of blouse and petticoat. It’s only a bunch of holdovers from Victorian prudery that prevents women from wearing saris without petticoats. If we wear them like these women (scroll), saris would be fine for catching buses and riding bikes. What if men had started wearing dhotis over long underwear, like leggings, to make Brits happy?

  21. ..or a lungi over a nice kilt.

    The guy has clearly lost it since he was so unceremoniously given the middle finger by the *rest of the world* re the UN job. Sir Douchebag clearly hasn’t lived in India in a while – you CANNOT wear a sari all day, everyday, especially in the Delhi summer or winter. It’s too cumbersome and uncomfortable – and for the many housewives of Delhi – makes afternoon napping very difficult. Moreover, a salwar is easy-on, easy-off. A sari, not so much.

    Actually no, it was that charmer, John Bolton, who did him in, not the rest of the world. He’s not such a douchebag, but Lordy he;s a suit! Like I say, though, and like Beige Siege says, a sari’s not supposed to be worn as the top layer over a two piece dress.

  22. Sari Virgin.. A long choli might help or else, you can drape it Gujju style, over your shoulder and tucked in the back (unlike in this pic. You can also check out online sites such as http://www.benzer.com for inspiration. Happy Wedding!

    Definitely the way to go. the cheedo will drape across your front and one corner will tuck in at the side/back. you also get to see more of the pallav that way… good luck!

  23. Sarees are elegant and I now opt to wear them to most dressy affairs – Western or desi. Most of my sarees are hand-me-downs from my mother’s superb collection of old silks and chiffons. I’ve had most converted to the easy wear version (like a wrap around skirt with pallu)which makes the wearing and maintaining a piece of cake. They are indistinguishable (if such a word exists) from the real thing and certainly nicer on me than some overpriced dress from Bloomies. I do prefer sarees to salwars for dress-up wear but not for more casual wear. Jeans rule!

  24. i’m a bit nervous about the skin-tight shirt part and the midriff exposure as I *do* have a thick waist. Any of you women have advice on how to wrap the sari in the most flattering way. I want to look nice and not show my stomach or waist.

    instructions: 1. forget what your waistline looks like – your man is marrying you and clearly finds you beautiful. 2. enjoy your wedding. 3. if anyone makes a face at your waist, take a nice bite of cake in front of them and swoon about what a happy bride you are.

  25. Ok you can delete this post if it is violation of decency act of this blog but since females on this blog are going on and on about wearing saris like this and like that; as a guy let me try to match their ramblings –

    My personal opinion/fantasy about saris is that as opposed any western “two-piece” dresses, undressing a sari- clad girlfriend is sometimes so much more fun 😉

  26. Anna Sundari Kutty, You would look absolutely gorgeous in a sari. I wonder if you be kind enough as to post a picture of you in a sari. I would greatly appreciate it and so would the rest of the mutiny community. 🙂

  27. sari virgin ~ i second msichana’s suggestions, esp. wearing it gujarati style which i feel is very elegant and more suited to heavier bridal saris. for my wedding, i wore a kanjeevaram sari due to my in-laws very strong suggestion (a traditional type of sari from the state of tamil nadu) but luckily had my way wearing it gujarati style. check out pics and directions online: http://dmi-india.com/showcase11.html

    for concventional and gujarati style: http://www.indembassyathens.gr/Culture/Fashion/Saree_how_to_wear.htm

  28. Melbourne desi wrote:

    AK – my pleasure. Wear a darker saree if you are going in for a quickie – it looks less dishevelled.

    Umm..is this guy for real?

  29. My personal opinion/fantasy about saris is that as opposed any western “two-piece” dresses, undressing a sari- clad girlfriend is sometimes so much more fun 😉

    Ha Ha Ha…Kris I support you since you are being outnumbered by females on this blog !!

  30. Re Sari virgin’s issue: a Sikh friend of mine is marrying a Chinese lady, and we were talking about her wedding prep etc. She told me that she found a discussion on an online forum for Indian brides discussing the same issue. The ladies on forum were complaining that there was a cabal of sari-tiers in Singapore who charged S$50-100 to tie a sari, and often enough, the end-result was nowhere near what their mothers-in-law expected! 🙂

    On differences in the dressing styles of Indian men & women: I remember a strong discussion on this when I was a teenager- the girls in the Sikh Studies class were complaining about double standards: why could boys wear whatever they chose to Gurdwara (jeans, t-shirts, etc), when girls had to wear salwar-kameez’s? Interestingly, today, it seems that more and more young men are wearing some form of Indian dress to Gurdwara, eg kurta-pajama, pathan suit, etc.

  31. First complaints that Punjabis give their daughters masculine names, and now we’re asexual? A big raspberry alll around. I’m not saying the sari is not beautiful; I think it can be gorgeous, and the patterns elegant. I just think there is no need to disparage other forms of dress that are not intrinsically ugly. (and saying that the salwar kameez is ugly because it’s manly is a silly interpretation of gender norms/styles, in my opinion).

    read somewhere that shalwar kameez is also (relatively) recent and until the late 19th/early 20th century, most women wore those big skirts (ghaghar? ghaghri?)

    It’s somewhat recent, although the khagra (or ghagra, depending on your spelling) is very similar — just a kurti (as opposed to a kameez) and salwar with a long skirt over it. Great when you’re a kid and want to run around, HOT (in the climactic sense, not the Paris Hilton sense) when you’re an adult. I think the even more traditional dress is the kurti with those bell-like pants. I wish I could find a picture, b/c I can’t remember the name. They’re still worn in Pakistani Punjab (although I’ve never seen it in Indian Punjab — it may still be worn, though).

  32. I remember a strong discussion on this when I was a teenager- the girls in the Sikh Studies class were complaining about double standards: why could boys wear whatever they chose to Gurdwara (jeans, t-shirts, etc), when girls had to wear salwar-kameez’s? Interestingly, today, it seems that more and more young men are wearing some form of Indian dress to Gurdwara, eg kurta-pajama, pathan suit, etc.

    Really, harminder? I’ve noticed the opposite — guys are still wearing super western clothing. Not more, but not less, either. But I’ve also seen more women coming in in jeans + kurti, or in slightly more casual western clothing. It seems that the expectation is still that girls should come wearing a salwar kameez or they are somehow being disrespectful.

    Also, in my experience Sikh girls wear saris or lenghas at their weddings — has anyone seen another common form of wedding dress?

  33. Why do I get this growing suspicion that “Rahul” is not an individual but rather an organization/conglomerate of think tanks that have the most ready comment/observations with embedded whatevertheyarecalled links to the most dizzying levels to confuse us lesser mortals? Kusala, anyone??? ‘Fess up “Rahul”…I mean c’on from saris to pies, to Bolton to walruses to Seven Samurai…..i need to go lie down with a wet towel on my forehead.

  34. and saying that the salwar kameez is ugly because it’s manly is a silly interpretation of gender norms/styles, in my opinion

    Camille, I agree with you…See the awesome Kajol’s dress in this DDLJ movie

  35. Updated with Kanjeevaram. Biodatas awailable upon request– seeking yengineer or similar educated, homely professional, with good North-South blend, modern outlook not necessary. Only teetotallers, vegetarians and veshti-wearing Communists who have basic training in Kathakali considered. Mangliks absolutely not considered, even if they are arbor-enthusiasts.

  36. While I am quick to jump into an Italian suit if it’s going to make some $$ to save my floundering…self…, I do like to take my covert revenge on the brits by wearing my “dress” sandals to the Yale Club in violation of their “dress code.”

  37. Anna, Valarey valarey thanks…Bayyangere sundari thenney! After all, Oru malayali penne thenney! Sundooshum aayi 🙂 Forever your fan….

  38. Anna…you look so pretty! Even though I’ve never worn a sari, I watched my grandmother don hers on every day of my childhood years & so I’ve learned. I’ve even saved my mom’s red sado (Konkani for wedding sari)….Last week, on the way to work, I actually saw an Indian lady at the bus stop decked out for work in a sari…in BERMUDA! Made me do a double take….

  39. We have “gone fishing” and despite that, I was trying to initiate a new conversation daily, because I love this space and felt bad that you were getting abruptly cut off from mutinoxycontin. I hoped you would cut me some slack, because it’s summer. Perhaps you should do so even if it weren’t, lest fewer and fewer people decide that putting their thoughts online isn’t worth the nitpicking. I’m not joking– it’s one of the first fears I hear when I approach a potential guest blogger.

    Well, Anna, you’re not just any blogger. You’re a very good writer. And you have high standards. That’s why the “less and less” was so jarring, at least to my ears. So you’re not perfect — no one is. But don’t fault us for trying to get the best out of you.

    As for “fewer and fewer people … putting their thoughts online,” if they aren’t confident about their writing, perhaps they shouldn’t be doing it. There’s enough “noise” on the Internet.

  40. I was five when my mom dressed me up in a Sari for a “Fancy-dress Competition”; make-up, lipstick and Jewellery were used unsparingly. All in all, it was a traumatic experience and I feel that it will have to be covered in the opening session when I finally seek Therapy.

  41. I am happy the Sari works for you. It does not for me; I love clothes and I love my body. Body conscious design makes me feel sexy and strong. It seems to be helping the career, too, even in America! So no apologies from me.

  42. Camille,

    Also, in my experience Sikh girls wear saris or lenghas at their weddings — has anyone seen another common form of wedding dress?

    Errm. How does the bride sit down if she sits down in a sari? For all the grace and elegance that a sari portrays, the lady in the costume has some acrobatics to master- sitting on the floor, shagging in the backyard (WTH?!? Backyard?! Exhibitionist?), and….going wee wee in the water closet.

  43. Shalu wrote: “So what’s my verdict on the sari? I don’t think it will ever go out of style when it comes to formal events, but I agree that it’s absolutely not practical for everyday use. And personally I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing–wearing a sari on special occassions just makes it that much more special. =)”

    I watched the Zee Cine Awards this weekend, and guess what? All of the actresses below age 45 were wearing evening gowns. At the last few desi weddings I went to the bride wore an evening gown to the reception. So I am not sure if the sari will survive.