Rolling down the street sippin’ Squishee…

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Rollin’ down Venice with Squishee in hand

I haven’t done any hard-nosed-journalism-type posts on SM in a while. Saturday night, when I found myself driving down Venice Blvd. in Los Angeles, I knew it was time to change all that. Out of the corner of my eye, on the errrr…corner, I spotted a Kwik-E-Mart with a huge line running around the building. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to film an undercover exposé with such a large crowd present so I determined that I would come back at a later time. On Monday I did just that. I casually walked past the bouncer who was shorter than me. What I found inside was shocking. Absolutely shocking! Indians were running the store and making a ton of money selling Squishees, hot dogs, and donuts. There were three brown dudes working the register and a really tall guy of uncertain ethnic origin pouring Squishees. I am happy to bring this exclusive hidden camera footage to our valued readers:

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You might not be able to notice this in the grainy film but the short brown man behind the counter (wearing green) had a name-tag that said “Apu.” I really doubt that his real name was Apu. I sure as hell didn’t see a Manjula around (I looked). The tall guy in the red next to him had a name-tag I couldn’t quite make out. It started with a “C” and it definitely wasn’t that no good Sanjay.

“Apu” behind the counter

As most of you know, Manish was on CNN yesterday lamenting the offensive nature of this whole Kwik-E-Mart campaign and the racist caricature it promotes, jumping from fiction to reality:

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p>In all honesty, what I really found offensive was the taste of my tangerine-lemon Squishee. I mean, the damn thing tasted like battery acid mixed with Mountain Dew. When I got back to my hotel I poured the melted Squishee into the toilet. It was then that I realized that I could make a killing if I created a line of neon colored toilet bowl cleaners (as opposed to the standard blue). The hot dogs were also kind of scary looking and the donuts looked radioactive. Plus, they had a corpse in the same fridge as the Gatorade:

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p>I really needed some cash but would you trust an ATM machine in a Kwik-E-Mart? I mean, the only place that might charge you a higher surcharge is a strip club (not that I would know such things).

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p>I bet you the tabloids would pay BIG money if someone were to photograph presidential contender Joe Biden in one of these establishments of ill-repute.

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Now that I went in to one of these things and satisfied your curiosities (and bought a Squishee) about what it is like, I think we should all boycott.

94 thoughts on “Rolling down the street sippin’ Squishee…”

  1. The best part is that he is a safety engineer.

    Wow! Are you, by any chance, an overachieving sax player, is your mother named Maragatham, and do you have a brother named Bharat?

    Also, hot off the press, Bush believes we can succeed in Iraq. Rest easy, people. Everything’s fine.

  2. ——-Of course, I don’t know if I am just being hot and othered by reading too much SM recently

    Thank god you realized it:)

  3. I thought it might be worth linking this previous SM post by Siddhartha from back in February, especially for SM newbies. One of the things we discussed there was whether the desi franchisees might get together to pressure the makers of The Simpsons to modify or “morph” the ‘Apu’ character into a more realistic one with ‘positive’ attributes.

    Instead, what this whole ‘promotion’ thing indicates is the exact opposite, where the franchisees have been pressured by the store chain into acting the ‘Apu’ character in their real lives. So it’s a case of Art imitates Life imitates Art – but with a racist, stereotype-ridden, offensive subtext. It’s also a sobering lesson of who really has how much market power, and in this case, those with the market power are telling desis who they are and how they should look and speak – to conform to and reinforce an existing stereotype. Disgusting.

  4. Camille, how come you weren’t featured on the NY Times article? I really need to find another source for my one-sided news.

    Haha, probably because I am not “holier than thou” about it. I just really love my car. There are very few material items that I am deeply attached to, and until now it was only my guitar. But the introduction of the Prius into my life, and my subsequent feelings towards it, actually scares me a little.

    I would love for there to be a character named J. Alfred Prufrock on TV precisely because it would remind me of Eliot (this is one of his poems that I enjoy the most).

    The cartoon isn’t so bad, it’s blurring the lines of reality and TV by applying a cartoon to real life in this way. I wonder how many stores, aside from the Chi-town guys, are non-desi? I really liked the sections that CNN quoted from that message board where a storeowner said that this was as racist as the Sambo.

  5. Are you shoo-er it is not a ’63 Pontiac Tempest?

    Besides the fact that the tire mark on the sidewalk not being consistent, there are only 4 cars he could have been driving that could possibly match that interior.

    Well that and the fact that the Aluminum trim was not an upgrade option available on the 63 Tempest.

  6. @Rahul #50 – “Actually, I have never been offended by the cartoon, but I do find the promo and 7-11’s participation in it distasteful (or “pushing the envelope” as that guy on CNN called it).”

    Yup, the cartoon has always been in great taste, which is why their marketing campaign surprised me… I’m assuming that since this is the first time they’re going wide screen, they hired some marketing folk who were not as culturally sensitive as the writers of the Simpsons episodes. Either way, the disconnect is unacceptable.

  7. Beaten by a Mustang still sounds better

    I don’t drag race, my friend. What ever would we do once the mu-stank had to take a curve? Horrors! 😀

  9. Yup, the cartoon has always been in great taste

    If by great taste and culturally sensitive, you mean equal opportunity insulting, yes 🙂 I don’t know what boycotting 7-11 means, it is not as if it is a regular shopping destination for me.

    Besides the fact that the tire mark on the sidewalk not being consistent, there are only 4 cars he could have been driving that could possibly match that interior. Well that and the fact that the Aluminum trim was not an upgrade option available on the 63 Tempest.

    Karthik, you and I need to mutter sweet nothings to each other in a motel room by a train stop tonight.

  11. Ooh here is another one for all your Mustang Vs Mini trash talkers (have to subscribe to view article)

    After driving the 350Z and the Mustang back to back, you naturally wonder if you couldn’t have agility and connectedness in one car. Enter BMW and the Mini Cooper S. On our test loop there is a downhill left hander followed quickly by an uphill right sweeper. With the mildly bumpy surface so beloved of the Texas DOT, most cars get upset somewhere in the middle of this section – weight transfer, rapid suspension movements, and accel/decel not being the recipe for a very palatable soup. In contrast with the other cars, the Mini generates lots of smiles on this section because it just goes. It isn’t easily upset, it just seems eager to go into the next curve or dip. And beyond that, you have a great feeling of what the car is doing.

    What’s making me laugh is that the mag is called winding road. Does that not automatically disqualify Mustangs?

  12. I can keep em coming all day long

    me and my freind just came back from a party tonight (4:43am) and we stopped at a light on the way. he has his dad’s copper S manual and i have a v6 manual with dual flowmasters and x-pipe. off the line i raped him, but he started gaing on my towards the end of 2nd gear (~60mph), but once into 3rd i destroyed him. i thought he would have done better, but if we were on a road course with turns, he would have r—d me.

    Smile and wave boys, Smile and Wave.

  13. I’m from one of the many Springfields, and I’ve been living in Argentina since February. Argentines are obsessed with The Simpsons. It seems to be more popular here than back in the States. Anyway, when I tell them I’m from Springfield, they always start chuckling and then say, “¿Cómo Los Simpson?” (“Like The Simpsons?”). And because I’m desi, several Argentines I know call me Apu on a regular basis. I’m not offended, but it just gets annoying. This is what happens when you’re from Springfield and desi.

  14. What I find offensive about this Kwik E Mart thing is how overtly commercialized and consumerist it is.

    America will stop at nothing, and has no shame when it comes to being tacky and corny in order to make $$$$.

    Could never picture this happening in France, Italy or Switzerland – just to pimp a stupid movie.

    No class whatsoever. And no embarrassement over the lack of class, that’s what gets me.

    It would be interesting if a significant amount of desi 7-11 employees banded together to sue The Simpsons for defamation or something like that. Would love to see the profits of that movie go into the hands of working class people.

    On the other hand, this might serve as good PR for desi Americans and help them in the long run, who knows? At a time when brown people are being profiled and stereotyped as “terrorists”, this might be a blessing in disguise to aid their reputation as ordinary, hard-working, friendly, harmless Americans.

  15. Rahul, not all of us live in public/bike-transit friendly areas 🙁 If I lived in/near a city, I would not need a car, but since it’s needed, I would rather have a prius 🙂

  16. While I can understand taking offense at the marketing of the movie (aside from the Kwik-E-Mart component, I’m offended at the sheer ubiquity of the campaign), I do have to defend “The Simpsons” (again, the earliest episodes) as amazingly astute social satire.

    I liken the character of Apu to that of Jim in “Huckleberry Finn” — the kneejerk reaction of some is to interpret the portrayal as offensive, when he is in fact portrayed consistently as intelligent and sensitive, often more so than the white characters. The best example I can give is of the episode in which he struggles with maintaining his Indian heritage while trying to become a citizen when the Springfield mayor decides to use illegal immigrants as scapegoats.

    “Apu” is now an insult, but that has to do more with the narrow-mindedness of viewers taking the character at face value, rather than the intent of the creators. And yeah, at the end of the day, the creators are a bunch of white dudes, so they’re not going to score 100% in the cultural sensitivity dept, even though they do indeed try.

  17. I love the two parallel threads we are having on this post – car trash talking, and ethnic stereotyping! Which will win the, er, race?

  18. Menaka, Jim was still a slave, and he was still abused and called the N-word by Huck (don’t say it was more common then, it’s still terrible). So I think that’s the beef people have – Apu may have some intelligent things to say, but he’s still a stereotype (see Ultrabrown’s comversation about the “Indian” accent allotted to Apu).

    That said, I completely agree with your last post.

  19. I love the two parallel threads we are having on this post – car trash talking, and ethnic stereotyping! Which will win the, er, race?

    My pitaji always says – slow and steady wins the race – so maybe the Gremlin?

  20. @chicgodesidevia

    Totally agree — was not condoning slavery by any means 🙂

    And I understand the “beef” (heh heh) — Apu is a stereotype, and I’m glad in the 18 years since his creation the trend is moving towards more visible, well-rounded, less stereotypical portrayals of Desis in the media. I mean, crowd scenes now demand a “token” Indian guy! I wouldn’t have dreamt of that while watching “The Simpsons” as a kid!

    But, of course, we’re not there yet. No idea how long it will take to level the playing field — considering the portrayal of women and all minorities are still shockingly offensive a good 95% of the time.

  22. Karthik, you and I need to mutter sweet nothings to each other in a motel room by a train stop tonight.

    I hope neither of you are sort of engaged, then. But how could it be that men like you, so bald, and so quirky and funny are not taken?

  23. Menaka, Jim was still a slave, and he was still abused and called the N-word by Huck (don’t say it was more common then, it’s still terrible).So I think that’s the beef people have – Apu may have some intelligent things to say, but he’s still a stereotype (see Ultrabrown’s comversation about the “Indian” accent allotted to Apu).

    But aren’t both examples realistic portrayals of those stereotypes?

    Don’t any of us know an uncle who reminds us of Apu?

    Comedy takes stereotypes, (and all stereotypes have a basis in something, however small), and then blows those stereotypes up to comedic proportions to get laughs. I can thinks of at least 3 men I know who remind me of Homer Simpson. And Apu’s portrayal is not too far off the mark of some desi grocery store owners I have met.

    Dumb blondes are a stereotype – yet there is Paris Hilton.

    There’s a basis somewhere for every stereotype.

  25. just to the join the prius love-fest, i’m learning to drive on like 8 cars (because where I live rookie drivers must have 60 hours on the road), but the prius has the best personality by far. i can’t deny it – i have a big weakness for tree-hugging hippie attributes.

  26. Bustangs and mu-stank, you people and your name calling, its disgusts me. And I wont, actually I cant insult a car named MINI.

  27. No, portmanteau. Actually, I’m unemployed and live with my parents.

    in that case, you and karthik should be careful not to leave any prophylactic wrappers on their bed after you’re done;)

  28. 73 · Manjula on July 12, 2007 03:12 PM · Direct link “Don’t any of us know an uncle who reminds us of Apu?”

    Sure you do, and here’s the irony. Apu is as humorous to us uncle types as he is to the rest of America, and that raises a question about self-deprecating humor in general. It is funny only when directed at oneself, politically incorrect and cruel if coming from others.

    I have heard many different races crack the same tired joke about their carefree attitude towards punctuality – Indian Standard Time, Cuban Time, Black People’s Time. But who in their right mind would tell an African American that their race is incapable of being on time, and which African American would smilingly accept this joke if it comes from “others,” a white person, for example?

    That’s why one needs to differentiate between the personal and public when it comes to humor that profiles a race or group. One has to take a public stand against it even if one enjoys it privately. Here is a scenario. Apu mercilessly gouges his customers. The Jewish people have been unjustly accused of the same trait since the days of Merchant of Venice. But have you ever seen a Jewish gouger on TV? Doting Jewish moms YES, shallow status consciousness such as “my son, the doctor,” YES, but gouging is a NO-NO. I can only imagine how many Jewish groups the producer of such a show would have to fend off if he created a modern-day Shylock. I think the network President will be fired first, and class action suits filed next.

    We need forums such as SM, if not to fight back but at least to take a polite but firm stand. The future of our children depends on it.

  29. But have you ever seen a Jewish gouger on TV? Doting Jewish moms YES, shallow status consciousness such as “my son, the doctor,” YES, but gouging is a NO-NO. I can only imagine how many Jewish groups the producer of such a show would have to fend off if he created a modern-day Shylock. I think the network President will be fired first, and class action suits filed next.

    It’s because the JEWS control Hollywood.

    As for a serious response to the content of your post, I am not at all comfortable with the political correctness related to intra-ethnic monopoly on certain kinds of humor. I feel like humor should be judged as being acceptable or not in context, not these blanket rules about Jewish jokes only being cracked by Jews, gay jokes only allowed for gays, and so on. I like equal opportunity mockery 🙂

    The fact that racist people can use these jokes as an excuse is not a reason to (self-)censor the humor.

  30. 79 Rahul ” I like equal opportunity mockery 🙂

    The fact that racist people can use these jokes as an excuse is not a reason to (self-)censor the humor.”

    My question still stands. Why isn’t a Jewish person shown as a gouger, even in jest? I don’t believe it’s because the Jewish people are policing the media in any way, but certain racial stereotypes are considered off limits and too cruel for humor. Why isn’t Apu, and Indians, worthy of the same consideration?

    Hey Rahul, with your command of the internet, can you dig up something on Islamic comics? I saw a show recently about Muslim stand-up comics who are using pretty edgy, self-deprecating humor to create an awareness about Islam. It is somehow related to the post.

  32. About the question about the Jewish gouger stereotype, I think it is because of a general belief that it is considered off-limits. And maybe I am looking too hard, but is it an accident that Mr. Burns, the miserly, extremely wealthy businessman in the Simpsons has a hook nose?

  33. in that case, you and karthik should be careful not to leave any prophylactic wrappers on their bed after you’re done;)

    As long as Rahul promises to not visit meat packing plants with my photograph…

    And not to worry Rahul, my parents do not care for Rye.

  34. As long as Rahul promises to not visit meat packing plants with my photograph… And not to worry Rahul, my parents do not care for Rye.

    Thanks, Karthik. If I’m not being forward though, you will need to prepare the invitations for the wedding. I’ll buy the envelopes though.

  37. Floridan # 78

    OK, I see your point. But then what would there be to make us laugh?

    If the white producers of The Simpsons, created a show stereotying only white people from their own religions and class, then?

    No African Americans, no Indians, no other religions, then they might be accused of not representing America correctly.

    I think it’s going way overboard to say you can only write comedic material about the people from your own background and geared towards those very same people.

    Talk about boring!

  41. All this angst about “Thank You. Come Again!” is ridiculous. I for one will take great pride in it. Especially when I tattoo it across the lower back of the next person who expects me to do an Apu impression.

  42. Maybe we should celebrate this campaign as a step in the right direction – instead of portraying Apu as a strange Indian foreigner who doesn’t exactly fit into Springfield, this campaign makes all kinds of people Apu.

    “We are all Apu,” anyone?

  43. chicagodesidiva, I had the exact situation happen with me (parents owned a convenience store and dad was a nuclear safety engineer). Thing is, these were good friends and it was tongue-in-cheek so I didn’t take offense, they weren’t trying to offend me, it was just too many coincidences at once. Actually they would poke fun at themselves and say hey, we’re just ignorant Americans with no cultural-sensitivity. Then I’d pick on them about their pick-up trucks and hick mentalities and we’d all share a good laugh.