Remember Demi Moore in the movie G.I. Jane? Wuss. Remember Jennifer Garner in Alias? Total pan-sy. Remember Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby? Lazy. I now have a new idol for bad-assness who is not a fictional character. She’s a teacher, a boxer, and about a dozen other things…and she does them all in a single day. You know who I’m talking about? Frequent Sepia Mutiny commenter Coach Diesel. She’s also a blogger. This morning before work I read her entry about her stint as a foster kid with an Indian family. Here is an excerpt (but if you don’t read the whole thing then you’re gonna’ miss the point):
The first thing I thought about the Patels was how weird their house smelled. It was a strange smell but I liked it too. I thought it might be the incense they burned, like at church. My own house smelled like dogshit because the dog was old, had issues and, of course, we had to walk the dog. I had known Indian people and gone to school with them. I’d had Punjabi friends, but these people were different than anyone I had met in my life before. Their house was super clean. You had to take your shoes off before going inside from the hallway. The people liked to explain things to me, which noone ever had done before.”We put our shoes here because…”The parents spent a lot of time writing.They were vegetarians. They had a lot of rules and Mr. Patel would take forever to explain, in great detail, what each rule was for and why it was in existence. I felt he talked an awful lot.
“Number one, You must wash your own dishes to respect the work that the chef has put into the meal. Water is expensive, so please wash like this…” Oh gawd, not this shit again…I look around and Mrs. Patel is standing behind me with her arms crossed over her chest, watching me, not smiling. She is a tiny woman, thin and about my height. She has a gold earring through her nostril, wears a ballcap with a Mets insignia on it and has a pencil behind her ear. I think to myself, my grandmothers would hate you, you Mets loving bitch. [Link]
Despite being a blogger I don’t actually read a lot of blogs (gasp…my secret revealed). I only read like five, and Coach’s is the newest one. Anybody that can make me feel lazy has got to be spouting some wisdom up in their space that is worth reading. Her back-story has also has me thinking about adoption and foster homes in the South Asian American community. You always hear about white couples going to India to find a child but you seldom hear of South Asian families adopting or taking in children of other races. Anybody have any stories they want to share? I for one am grateful to the “Patels” because if it wasn’t for them perhaps Coach wouldn’t have been interested enough in South Asian culture to visit this blog.
I’m going to stop here because she’s probably already embarrassed that I wrote even this much about her. Sorry Coach. Ohhh, except one more thing. I bow.
By the purest of chances I happened to read her blog over the weekend too. I’m eagerly awaiting Part 2,3, etc of that story. Based on the blog, I assumed she would be teaching in NJ, but was stunned to find that she’s she’s actually in Virginia ! Very inspiring story, hers.
Coach, Wow and ouch. I feel like a total wuss cause a) I couldn’t even finish reading your list of injuries. b) I’ve been milking my semi-broken ankle for a year now. Much respect and take care.
Coach, enjoyed reading that blog entry. You have had quite a life it sounds like!
Re: the Indians adopting/fostering thing, I have an adopted cousin who is black. I think a lot of agencies try to now place kids with same-race parents (or so I hear, I don’t have any evidence to back that up) but he was adopted a long time ago (as a baby, and we’re around the same age). We have never really talked about what it was like for him growing up, but he does have a lot of Indian friends.
well, i just finished reading coach’s post. respect.
Awesome post, Abhi. I have a new blog to add to my list. Can’t wait to hear about SA families with non-SA adopted kids.
I’m hooked!
Man, Coach, how did you do all that as a child and live? Plus I only once broke my head and another time my front teeth and much later I tore a tendon– and all that was in fun. You are truly amazing!
she’s cool
I didn’t realize you could live with a list of injuries like that. Did you see the age associated per injury? Much respect coach, you had a TOUGH childhood.
Author Anjali Banerjee’s family adopted a Native Canadian of Cree origin, as mentioned in her bio.
Damn Coach…I think only Jackie Chen can rival your inventory.
Coach! Coach! claps gleefully I heart our coach, who is both sagely and ass-kickingly cool!!
On a more serious note… You know, we talk a lot about interracial relationships on SM, but usually in terms of sex, marriage and miscegenation. There have been a few posts on adoption, but none as in-depth and productive as Siddhartha’s and DesiDancer’s discussion on mixedness, which are relevant in the familial context. The Other is not so other when he/she is a part of your family (and hopefully not an Other at all when its qualities are an inherent part of yourself!).
I think mixedness, interracial adoption and other interracial intimacies can help us understand the significance and potentials of interracial relationships as much as discussion on interracial sex and marriage and miscegenation. Actually, for some people the non-sexual nature of intimacies cultivated by adoption, friendship and the very existence of mixed-race people might better facilitate realizations about the power of kinship across racial and other boundaries. Not that kinship can’t exist in sexualized relationships (it most certainly can and does), but sex comes with its very own and very problematic brand of power politics which some people just can’t get past.
Siddhartha and DesiDancer have covered a lot on mixedness, and, if I remember correctly, the positive involvement of their families played a significant part in their coming to terms with their respective mixedness. A lot of us know that Coach’s blog entry cuts off in the middle of a longer story (warning: spoiler), and I hope she goes on to explain to us what she’s discovered about the potential in inter-racial/cultural/ethnic/religious kniship.
(But no pressure, Coach! In any case, you’re a part of my extended, albeit virtual, family 🙂
Handstand pushups?!!!! Whoah. You are amazing in so many ways.
Nice to learn more about you, Coach. Pleased to meet you 🙂
Coach, it’s clear that you are very popular and I am more than happy to be your Don King. We’ll conquer the world one lefthook at a time!! And, after you retire, I’ll get you a grill deal.
a family that I grew up with…an Indian family originally from bombay–they moved to America in the early 70’s… and they adopted a 4 month old ‘american caucasian’ child almost 27 years ago… this girl grew up me in America …and she eventually went to INDIA for medical school… (imagine, white girl, in bangalore, the lone yankee, amongst 300 or so indians–i visited her quite frequently when i was traveling india, and it was a HARD adjustment..going both ways..)… she’s now back from India and is engaged to an Indian boy who she met while in Bangalore..
It’s quite the story…
coach diesel
You not only have a great story to tell, you also write really well — the detail you choose, the flow, the imagery, it’s very well written and engaging. I could visualise it all so well. Genuine talent.
And… (as Abhi pointed out but is being forgotten) she’s a teacher.
(And apparently a better one than me, as she’s not checking blogs in the middle of the day while her students slave away.)
I adore you Coach Diesel, my Latinapugilistic-Desilicious sista. You’re one of a kind.
Coach, I just read your blog and also know you from your comments on various blogs (I am a lurker, usually). My heart went out to you when I read your about your childhood and what you overcame to get to where you are now..you are amazing, just amazing! You are a very inspiring role model for kids and adults alike..keep on rocking babe, more power to you!!
I feel very honored.
I am aghast (pleasantly so)and slightly disconcerted, at being a subject here.What a surprise to think I was reading about someone else and it turned out to be about me! My heart was in my throat today as I realized what this post was about.
I wrote my most recent blog post because I was so inspired by Anna’s recent risky and self-revealing posts here. The sense of community that the bloggers have tried to nurture is real and substantial. I’ve learned a lot from everyone here, especially about writing, which I’m trying to improve. I am somewhat self-concious about my speaking voice so writing is a way to speak out, a catharsis, a way to share and to also offer myself up as one who has and is taking risks in life and hopefully showing that they are worth all the pain.
Besos-
PS -Tamasha, You give me waaay too much credit.:) Grades are due today and I just had to break up a fight not 10 minutes ago or otherwise I’d probably be looking at blogs during my planning periods. Busy day.
Coach – I’m glad you decided to share your story. Hope you’ll consider publishing it some day. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since I read your post and would very much like to read more.
And your writing style is great – a pleasure to read.
Very inspiring, Coach. You’re a remarkable person.
Oh, brother.
The girl is super cool, no doubt. It is amazing and soul-warming to read something from someone who learned so much so early and is willing to take the steps neccessary to share. You rock, Coach.
I just read the full post coach diesel’s blog. Amazing.
Better than WaPo’s On Being profiles, which are pure magic.
coach diesel, you are an inspiration.
interesting, but do you need to use a homophobic term (i refer to ‘pansy’) to make your point?
I’m sorry I’ve been distracted for a few days with the shooting and other posts but it’s super Abhi that you discoverd one of my favorite bloggers. Coach isn’t just diesel she just kicks ass. I love girls that kick ass in every metaphorical way and I just absolutely adore her. Now she is who I’d want teaching my kids at school.