Right Cross, Left Coast

poshbecks.jpgIt’s well known that washed-out crooners and comedians end up in Las Vegas. The same role is played in the international soccer world by a few wealthy backwaters where once-glamorous players on the far side of their prime can poke the ball around a few more years against subpar opposition. For some reason Qatar, principally among the Gulf states, has been such a haven for a decade or more. Japan is another such venue. But the place you really want to end up if you’re a footballing once-great is — following the path that Pelé and Beckenbauer once trod — the good old U. S. of A.

Before you pounce: Yes, I know that the U.S., Japan, even Qatar are all soccer powers on the rise in an international scene where talent is more and more evenly spread. And it’s arguable that some of these early retirees have contributed to this leveling, although I’m more inclined to believe that when they get off their arses and coach (like Zico for Japan last year), as opposed to collect large checks and come on in the seventy-fifth minute to please the adoring masses.

In light of these considerations I guess we should refrain from judging in advance the impact that the arrival of Golden Balls himself, David Beckham, in the U.S. to play for the Los Angeles Galaxy will have on the development of the sport. But considering the amount of money that’s being shelled out for him — $250 million over five years, the richest contract in American professional sports — it’s fair to say that someone out there has great expectations.

One constituency that has to be happy is Los Angeles realtors, as the establishment of a West Coast Beckingham Palace is sure to reflate the market for Beverly Hills mansions. Victoria Beckham (I know, how did I manage to take this post so far without mentioning her?) has been spotted scoping out properties in the company of Katie Holmes, the latest Tom Cruise brainwashee spouse. It seems Katie and Posh are BFFs — who knew? — and so I suppose we can expect numerous stories ahead of TomKat and Posh & Becks double-dating shenanigans, hopefully in all possible permutations.

p1_beckham.jpgBut what does it mean for the desis? Tipster Kamala is on the case. She sent us a link to this picture that Sports Illustrated ran a couple of days ago on its website. She notes:

observe Beckham’s left hand. If my hindi is right, his tattoo says Victoria in Hindi, in huge letters. It’s so clearly visible. Hmm.

Hmm is right, my sister! Well, it’s been documented before that Posh and Becks like to get their India on — it’s apparently a common malady among the Brit celebrity set — and beside, who could resist that sinewy Devanagari script, it’s so sensuous and exotic. Between this and the whole Bend-It thing, perhaps Posh and Becks could help us re-open our recently-shuttered Los Angeles bureau.

We’re also going to need some investigators and paperazzi of our own (Taz, Shruti, I’m looking at you). For now we’ll have to make do with this Los Angeles perspective from Defamer, which has opened a new category (“Celebutard Immigration Issues”) to mark the event and offers here its “official position” on the arrival of Posh & Becks:

We are wholeheartedly against the idea of foreign attention whores stealing away scarce Lohan-diddling and vagina-flashing opportunities from our homegrown celebutards, and we’d rather see our native paparazzi burn down Los Angeles rather than forfeit their turf to the coming wave of alien guerrilla photographers who will soon be dispatched to document the Beckhams’ every Starbucks visit.

Meanwhile, Las Vegas just got a whole lot closer. Spice Girls reunion tour, anyone?

61 thoughts on “Right Cross, Left Coast

  1. Less known happening in the transfer window, Luis Figo, the great Portuguese captain, will leave Inter Milan and play, for a season, with Al Ittihad of Saudi -Al Itihad’s manager calling it the biggest thing to happen to Middle Eatern soccer ever.

    Initially I thought this might be good for MLS. Beckham is the only soccer player the average American can recognize; yes there is Zidane as well, but he’s known as the head-butt guy, and thats about all. Also, the strategy was already tried in the NASL in the 70s, when it recruited Beckenbauer, Pele, etc.

    Lets face it, American players view MLS as a springboard to play in the Premier League, Bundesliga, with Celtic, etc.

    And American fans, who already have NFL, MLB, and NBA are not particularly keen to watch a second rate league.

    Beckham however, really made out. He gets to hang in Hollywood for pay.

  2. Thing is, he’s not at his peak, but he’s still a top level player — at 31 he has another 2 or 3 seasons before he’s at the age where you might have expected him to say, yeah, forget European football, let me get a pay off in America.

    However, Beckham has always been ‘Hollywood’, always been glamour and image and star status, so you just know that he’s going to live mixing with the stars there. It has an inevitability to it that he went there. The guy won the Premiership and European Cup with Manchester United, and he played well for Real Madrid alongside Zidane and Ronaldo, so nobody will begrudge him this.

  3. Surely there can be a storyline here for Bend it Like Beckham 2?

    Doesnt Parminder Nagra get to fly off to America to join a football camp at the end of that movie? So now she’s earning a living teaching Mexican ladies how to nutmeg and scissor kick, and Becks comes to her new home town.

    Parminder has fame and recognition from ER and Becks will want to get his brand moving on again — surely this movie has to get made! Make the pitch it’s got smash hit all over it. Hollywood, Punjabi girl, Hispanic appeal, plus this time Becks can actually act in it.

    I’m going to IMDB to start a rumour.

  4. Thank you Red Snapper. Your first comment was so serious and straightforward, I was worried.

    Wait. I was being serious. Oh how hilarious it shall be. Gurinder Chadha making a movie in LA about Indians. There will be obligatory ABCD scenes. Some Crocodile Dundee style comedy about a feisty streetwise Southall rudegirl preferring to hang out with Latino girls rather than stuffy Indian middle class doctors who all want to arrange her marriage and be impotent in the face of her rebellion. She can fall in love with a Mexican dude who plays for LA Galaxy youth team. Parminder flirts with Becks for a couple of scenes. In particular Becks has a few good lines of dialogue:

    “The trouble with this place is, you can’t get decent English food here, I mean, where do you go for a good old fashioned CURRY, what is an English dish and all that” (metaphorical of multicultural Britain and all that — oh what an uplifting comedy it shall be — just make sure it depicts all Indian guys as scum and you have sure-fire hit)

    Oh the culture clash comedy! It could even have some spices with mysterious powers. And end in a ‘uplifting’ wedding scene with Cypress Hill doing a mash up with Panjabi MC. My Big Fat Sikh Wedding.

  5. $250 million dollars!

    Wa wa wee wa

    They expect Beckham to raise revenues by $250 mil?

  6. his tattoo says Victoria in Hindi, in huge letters

    It says “Vhictoria” (I’m not sure why they put that extra “h” in there). More accurately, it says something in between “Vhictoria” and “Whictoria” because (as we know here on SM) this is the one area of pronunciation where Devanagiri falls short of the Roman alphabet.

  7. It’s an admirable move especially considering that most players jump to inferior leagues when they are completely washed up like Gazza, Romario, Dwight Yorke, Rivaldo, etc. Like Becks, I’m on a mission too only I’m not getting a mill a week. Since 2002, I made sure to visit ESPNs football website (soccernet.com) everyday and I told my buddies to do the same. Occassionally we write ESPN and ask them for more football. I like to think we were mildy rewarded with all the matches in World Cup 2006 shown live and, importantly, without experimental gimmicks to tie commercials into the broadcasts. In 2002, ESPN would show only one Champions League match in the US (usually the Tuesday fixture), now they show a Tuesday and Wednesday fixture, even when the stakes are low in the early group stages in September. In 2008, ESPN will be showing the entire European Championships (Euro 2008) for the first time and live. It’s evidence of great progress especially when you consider that there will be no Latin American players for the US Latino demographic to root for. Additionally, Euro 2008 will let newcomers know that football isn’t a once-every-four-years phenomenon.

    My strategy of providing hits on ESPNs webpage may seem trivial but the fastest way for football to be more successful in the US is by exposing Americans to the best the world has to offer. The MLS and the youth academies that are beginning to pop up are the long-term, less visible, infrastructure. The sport has to be glamorized on TV first. Americans need to hear the passion, the singing, the stadiums that don’t play rah-rah anthems to artificially hype up the crowd. The yankee football crossover audience needs to see the blood, the nasty tackles, the fiery personalities and the face of exhaustion after running 45 minute halves with no timeouts, TV timeouts, flags, or replays.

    Yes, I’m a nut.

    Lampard scored, 1-0 to Wigan, go Chelsea.

  8. Lampard scored, 1-0 to Wigan, go Chelsea.

    One nice goal. Chelsea reminds me of the Yankees, buying their way to championships. And like the Yankees, they are learning that it does not always pay off.

    They expect Beckham to raise revenues by $250 mil?

    They are already touting Beckham LA Galaxy jerseys on Fox Soccer. They will have to sell quite a few.

  9. Man $250 million is huge. I think he can afford to feed Victoria now 🙂 So does this mean, that like … the new Pizza is “Burrito” … the new Baseball is “soccer” ?? (For the US)

  10. Chelsea reminds me of the Yankees, buying their way to championships.

    Jose Mourinho will leave at the end of the season and the Russian billionaire’s plaything will collapse. Chelsea are hated in England primarily because of the arrogance of their fans. No class at all, even Manchester United have more humility than them. Pure witless arrogance, that’s what Chelsea are. Don’t win a title in 77 years, get pumped with Russian billions, and they sing that they’re a bigger team than Liverpool, Manchester Utd and Arsenal, all clubs with truly great histories and sustained success over decades and decades. Although I personally like Mourinho, he is mischievous and a tactical genius, but when he goes, Chelsea are back in the wilderness.

  11. One nice goal. Chelsea reminds me of the Yankees, buying their way to championships. And like the Yankees, they are learning that it does not always pay off.

    Initially, yes. But Chelsea are developing and investing in their youth academies. Mourinho’s management style differs from his predecessor Ranieri who kept the first team exclusive of the second team, the second team exclusive of the third team, etc. Mourinho is smart enough to know that 1) you need domestic talent to build a long-term fan base (Lampard, John Terry, Joe Cole) and 2) you have to build a proper youth academy and keep minimal barriers between 1st, 2nd, 3rd teams so you can develop talent in your own way without sending potential out on loan. The Yankees of football are unquestionably Real Madrid. Chemistry is of no concern, only signing top talent and selling shirts.

    Regarding history, I hear you but it has to start somewhere.

  12. Man United’s humility kicked in when the trophies dried up and they couldn’t bring Ronaldinho or Arjen Robben to Old Trafford.

  13. Mourinho tells Chelsea board to back him or sack him

    Jose Mourinho intends to drop Andriy Shevchenko from Chelsea’s squad for the Premiership match with Wigan today in a direct challenge to Roman Abramovich to back him with new signings or sack him immediately.

    He’ll be either at Real Madrid or Inter Milan next season I reckon.

  14. I cant see this guy making any movies. Sure, this guy looks perfect, but if you have ever heard him speak you know he has a zero percent chance of being a decent actor. He sounds like an english version of those midgets from the wizard of oz. And this will have a zero impact, except on girls and gay dudes, of making people want to watch the 2nd most boring sport in the world, the 1st being baseball.

    If soccer and baseball were introduced to us in present times, no one would play it. The only reason people play these 2 sports is because of the history behind it.

  15. can’t wait to move back to the west coast… this is one of the highlights… love david ‘hot as hell’ beckham… season tickets… already done ;).

  16. I think that Becks made the move to LA for In n Out burger. We all know that Posh needs some meat on her…

  17. Red Snapper,

    Is it true that some fans derisively refer to the team as “Chelski” because of the Russian ownership? Do they play the Russian national anthem at home games, or is that a canard? For an outsider, they are quite a spectacle! The Ivory Coast fella Drogba – nice goal there! – is very exciting player and John Terry seems like a class act.

    On to Arsenal

  18. oh siddharatha… in 2000 the bbc had the tattoo news out.. and of course it is misspelt.. :)..go figure…

    as for the 250 million, it’s 50 million to play, the other 200 are endorsement deals…

    soccer..not interested…watching him run and sweat on the field.. priceless eye candy… as i said the moment i found out beckham was coming to LA…THERE IS A GOD :).

    don’t worry mr. mitter.. the bean will take enough pictures and represent..it would be an honor 😉

  19. Beckham is not gonna finish the 5 year deal, He will have short term impact before he ends up going back to Europe. By midway in the 2nd year nobody will care anymore about Beckham outside of hardcore soccer fans.

    Soccer is the most played sport in both Canada and America among young people, so the game is popular to play but not to watch.

    One reason could be there is no 2point play in soccer. In baseball you could have team up by 1 in the 9th with 2 out and game can end on a 2 run homer. In basketball you can have team up by 2 and the other team can hit a 3point shot to win the game, and in football a team could be down by 2 and kick a field goal or down by 5 and score a TouchDown to win on the final play. You don’t have that in soccer.

    Talking about Football you have 2 great NFL games today in Colts-Raven and Eagles-Saints. Please tell me I’m not the only desi who watch’s the NFL

  20. risible

    Yeah, Chelski is what they are called. The general feeling is that they are a bunch of nouveau riche sneering loutish and arrogant upstarts. Chelsea have never been a big or successful club, but the part of London they are based is one of the richest and most prestigious addresses in Britain, like having a football team slap bang in the middle of upper class Manhattan, so they always attracted a certain glamour despite being a crappy team. Then a Russian billionaire pumps millions and millions, and their fans act like they are the biggest team in the world, when they don’t have the heritage or success of Liverpool, Manchester Utd or Arsenal (hell even Tottenham and ASton Villa have a better history than them) and that’s the reason why everyone hates Chelsea. Their managing director gave an interview recently when he said that they wanted to be the ‘biggest club in world football’ by 2014 — yeah right! As the saying goes, people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing…

  21. One reason could be there is no 2point play in soccer. In baseball you could have team up by 1 in the 9th with 2 out and game can end on a 2 run homer. In basketball you can have team up by 2 and the other team can hit a 3point shot to win the game, and in football a team could be down by 2 and kick a field goal or down by 5 and score a TouchDown to win on the final play. You don’t have that in soccer.

    I don’t know exactly what you mean by that, but I think you mean there’s no last minute miraculous victories? Well, if you watch football enough you know that last second comebacks and goals are one of the things that make it great. And they happen alot.

    Manchester United one goal down in the European Cup final. Thirty seconds left to play. They had already put the ribbons of Bayern Munich on the trophy. And then this happened

  22. Is it true that in the States Becks won’t have to pay a cut of his ad revenue to his team? In Europe, teams get a cut, no? Does anyone think his endorsements are going to be as coveted here as they were across the puddle? Is he going to get richer? Ok, the last one’s a surefire ‘yes’. How annoying…and then I turn to these two words: TORONTO FC. Bring it!!!!

  23. 40 of the 50 million of Beckham salary will come from endorsements. I think he will get a higher % of his endorsement money then he would in europe.

  24. And this will have a zero impact, except on girls and gay dudes

    Thank you. We will have him. Gladly.

  25. Well, if you watch football enough you know that last second comebacks and goals are one of the things that make it great. And they happen alot.

    Ah!Tell it like it is Red Snapper! The baby faced assasin almost always delivers in the dying minutes doesn’t he? He did it again a couple of days ago against Villa, where he scored in the 91 min.

  26. Does anyone else remember Jon Stewart’s interview with Posh Spice? jon was quite nasty to her. Seemed something to do with contempt for their music – i really don’t know.

  27. Possibly Becks greatest goal. England need to draw with Greece in order to qualify for the World Cup. England are 2-1 down. 93rd minutes of play are gone. Last seconds of the game. England get a free kick midway between the halfway line and the box. Step up David Beckham.

  28. Red Snapper- Can I help with the script for the NagraBecks movie? I need to see an Aunty with a “DHAVID” tattoo in her forearm that she hides from her husband.

  29. I think I’m on the right thread now…

    Are the Brits pissed off like the Canadians were pissed off when Gretzky got traded to LA?

    WeÂ’re also going to need some investigators and paperazzi of our own (Taz, Shruti, IÂ’m looking at you).

    I’m on it. And if Taz isn’t down, then obviously chick pea is. Damn, I can’t remember the last time I went to a Galaxy game. It might have actually been in high school, when I was obsessed with Cobi Jones. z0mg! Cobi Jones and David Beckham… chick pea let’s get on it asap.

  30. I was 12 year old that day in August of 1988 when Grextky get traded to the kings. Unlike Beckham, Grextky was in his prime, and he made a bigger impact then Beckham will ever make.

    And yes in Canada people mad. They even try to set a motion in Ottawa to block the trade.

    Speaking of “football” is anybody else watching the Colts-Ravens game. Colts defense is looking good.

  31. i’m not certain of this rule. but i think the story is you are allowed to have only one player per MLS team without a salary cap. can you imagine being beckham walking amongst the other players who only make 50 to 70 g’s a year? ha! yeah. my swagger would be so heavy. “what are you looking at? i make in a day what you make in a year. now pass the rock!”

  32. he [Gretzky] made a bigger impact then Beckham will ever make.

    I think it’s a bit premature to make that statement, seeing as how he hasn’t even played a single game yet.

  33. Please tell me I’m not the only desi who watch’s the NFL

    This desi doesn’t watch any NFL, MLB or NBA and is proud of it.

  34. Are the Brits pissed off like the Canadians were pissed off when Gretzky got traded to LA?

    Beckham’s been playing for Real Madrid, not any Premiership side. He was also dismissed from the National team – so the scenario isn’t even the same.

    Also, the NHL for all intents and purposes is an American league – there are only six Canadian sides, though ice hockey is cerainly more popular in Canada than it is here, where its a marginal professional sport with small cultish followings.

  35. Has anyone commented on the fact that one of MLS’ largest fan base in the US, particularly in LA, is the Latino population (You don’t see him playing for Real Salt Lake)? Certainly targeting this audience was part of the reason that Chivas U.S.A was created, and given that Beckham speaks Spanish passably well from his Real Madrid years, there’s a lot more potential than bringing football to “Americans.”

  36. Yes! Qatar gets another mention on SM. Merci siddhartha.

    Once I met both Desailly and Leboeuf at a swanky place here. They listened politely about my views on football and my special advice on negating “offensive speed” with “positional awareness” whilst defending. But their minders were thugs with no brains and assertively encouraged me to leave after accusing me of being drunk. Fools! I was so sure that they both enjoyed my company; anyways, that was that.

    I was also witness to Frank De Boer and his hot-lady-friend being denied entry at the Qatar Airways Hospitality Lounge as he was merely a frequent flyer with KLM and not Qatar Airways. The Filipino receptionist, who didnÂ’t recognize him, was very curt with him and I gleefully observed him sit outside on a Cattle-class plastic chair as I nursed my G&T from within the lounge:D

    Qatar Trivia: a) The average salary of a local player is around QR. 8000 (USD. 2190) per month b) Most clubs here fine their local players QR. 500 (USD. 137) for picking up a Yellow Card and QR. 1000 (USD. 274) for a Red Card

    Peace

  37. Talking about Football you have 2 great NFL games today in Colts-Raven and Eagles-Saints. Please tell me I’m not the only desi who watch’s the NFL

    No, you are not the only one 🙂 Last night game between Saints and Eagles was a stunner. My predictions:

    Chicago v. Seattle – Chicago Patriots v. Chargers – Chargers

    Saints v. Chicago – Saints Chargers v. Colts – Chargers

    Super Bowl: Toss up though I am leaning towards the Saints.

    Patriots v. C

  38. There will be obligatory ABCD scenes. Some Crocodile Dundee style comedy about a feisty streetwise Southall rudegirl preferring to hang out with Latino girls rather than stuffy Indian middle class doctors who all want to arrange her marriage and be impotent in the face of her rebellion.
    (metaphorical of multicultural Britain and all that — oh what an uplifting comedy it shall be — just make sure it depicts all Indian guys as scum and you have sure-fire hit)

    Cracked me up mate!

    There’s an air of Lineker about this story, don’t you think Snap? But you’ll forgive me if I say no more here, I’ve exhausted all I have to say on football365 and down the pub.

  39. Once I met both Desailly and Leboeuf at a swanky place here.

    Marcel is a legend. CFC could use him right now.

    Here’s an article from slate that supports the “naysayers”…

    No Desh, I know you’re not speaking for that article you linked but let me just rant a bit. That article peddles the same hubbub about his England performance (which I’m not defending, it was atrocious but there’s more to the story) and his lack of play at Real Madrid as evidence that this is much ado about nothing. Nonsense. The best team in the MLS on its very best day is a bottom 3 club in the EPL. Beckham, on pound-for-pound talent alone, can walk into the starting XI of any EPL club not named Liverpool, ManU, Arsenal and Chelsea. The writer thinks that Becks will prevent young stars from rising as if hogging the spotlight equates to hogging the ball. More nonsense. Those rising stars will be busting a nut when they find a Beckham 40 yard cross perfectly placed at their feet 90% of the time. Honestly, has this writer seen an MLS game? The passing is dreadful. Becks is a superb passer, he creates space, enables others to make runs. Nevermind that Twellman and Ching (the 2 young stars he mentions) don’t even play for the Galaxy.

    If that writer is concerned about the lack of grassroots development, don’t blame the MLS and the desire to bring a well-known face to the league. Blame something more structural like the relationship between the MLS and the NCAA which is the feeder for most US pro sports. By the time a kid is done with college soccer, they are 22 years old and just beginning professional play while the rest of the world’s youth turn pro at 16 or 17. That 5-6 year difference is so crucial in understanding the talent gap between US/MLS and the world. The author says Brian Ching is a “rising talent”? Erm, he’s 28 years old. Twellman? He’s 26. I smell a disconnect.

  40. football365

    That’s the worst site ever.

    Kidding! It’s a barrel of laughs. I love it.

  41. Marcel is a legend. CFC could use him right now.

    True, with Terry unfit, their defence suddenly looks very shaky. OK, could everyone please name the clubs they support? So that we can put faces to the names know where everyone stands 😀 I’ll go first: Manchester United

    Red Snapper, No Von Mises, and everyone else, please oblige.

    Cheers