Like many other browns I know, my name seems to bring out the worst in other people. When I taught elementary school in Brooklyn, an older colleague insisted on calling me “Ms. R.” “I don’t mean to offend,” he explained, “but if I try saying your last name, I know I’ll just sound silly.” Well, now you just sound like an idiot, I thought. A similar encounter occurred during my first week of graduate school, when the Dean approached me and introduced herself. I told her my name, and she asked, “Why couldn’t your parents just name you Molly or Jane?” Yes, I know, Naina Ramajayan…so difficult to pronounce, that even I just call myself ‘The N.’ It’s all pretty ironic, actually; considering that I’m a southie Hindu, my name is about as simple as it gets.
Thankfully, the baggage that comes with my name is fairly harmless, and I’m able to laugh it off. No one has ever looked at my name and suggested that I be targeted for homeland security. Some of my friends from college, however, haven’t been as lucky. When my friend Rahul Shah introduced himself to his co-worker a while ago, she responded, “Like, as in, the Shah of Iran, that Holocaust denier?” (Oh yes, she did.) Another friend felt pressured to start using his middle name at work because his boss joked that his first name, Amit, sounded like ‘Ahmed.’ And so what if does? “Dude,” he explained, “Three of the 9-11 hijackers were named Ahmed.” Amit, Ahmed, Shah, Iran…looks like the code is finally getting cracked.
I used to think these issues concerning names were a burden only for us brown people. But then I learned that Senator Barack Obama of Illinois is in a similar predicament. CNN did a nice story a few weeks ago (you can view the clip here) on the “controversy” surrounding the Senator’s name. Since Obama rhymes with Osama, Barack rhymes with Iraq (and Chirac), and Hussein is his middle name, he’s evidently a newly-discovered threat to the United States. After watching that clip, I felt guilty for thinking my buddy Amit was just being paranoid of his boss all these years. In fact, now I’m even more paranoid than I ever was before. Of rampant stupidity, that is. Aasif Mandvi appeared on the Daily Show on Tuesday night to bring his perspective on Obama-Osama-gate.
My favorite line: Aasif Mandvi? Yikes, I sound like trouble. People, keep your eye on me.
Jokes aside, I have to wonder: if Barack’s name — or any of our names, for that matter — rhymed with McVeigh, Rudolph, or Kaczynski, would any of this even be a topic of discussion?
Neal (#79) – I agree with you, it’s senseless to give a child an Indian name just because. If you’re not going to teach them anything about their heritage than what’s the point. I think most parents put a lot of thought into picking a name and it’s harsh to call someone a sell-out because they gave their kid an Anglo name.
Ok, ok, I’ll take jeet off my list. But I’m sticking with inder and preet (and meet and deep and..)!
And those people take pride in the fact that their names are different and they take the oppurtunity when questions arise about their names to explain their religious or philosophical meanings. Thus creating a moment of education and even bonding between them and the inquirer.
I have an Arab Muslim friend who does this regarding her name and the way she dresses. People love her coz she loves people and sees every inquiry, even if at first slightly hostile, as a way to connect and bond with people and to share with them the wisdom that she values. She is a very happy, positive and beautiful person who has managed to create a circle of friends around her from many different ethnic, cultural and religious backgrounds because she is so open and positive about nearly everything.
She welcomes inquiry into her name, religion and culture with zero trace of annoyance or bitterness.
What do desi who have interracial kids do when they pick a name for a kid, who gonna live in the west.
ACK! I’m SO OVER being the nice model minority!
You got me neat, Jeet.
My 2 paise: your good name can be anything you want it to be. There a thousand reasons under the sun for choosing what you choose. Same with mispronunciations: if you want to make war over it, it’s all good, if it’s no skin off your back, it’s all good. Experience is like that: textured, and what works today might not work tomorrow.
Peace y’all.
(and seriously, show the butchers some love; it’s one of the hardest professions out there, in terms of on-the-job injuries)
Wow, this has taken a turn! People, its your kids, name them whatever you want, I can guarantee you that regardless of being Sam or Samir they will still do what ever they want to. And if you dislike your S.Asian name: change it, if you donÂ’t: then love it, but never hate.
Bidismoker, #40. What on earth are you talking about? And who’s the we in “our children”?
Don’t worry, the rest of the time we are stereotyped as being part of terrorist sleeper cells =P
its one extreme to another…gotta love us
Anybody who sick of being the model minority should just move to Vancouver, you won’t worry about it here.
Stereotypes are part of life for everyone. Get used to it. It’s not going to change because this is the world of names and forms.
Even those who have transcended the plane of names and forms still get stereotyped – but they don’t care.
Camille, don’t you think you were hyperbolizing – people assume “foreign” sounding names/faces are terrorists or whatever the racist flavor of the day is.
If in response to the above I had said :
Did your ignorant White neighbors snitch on your poor brother? And then the FBI showed up looking for Sampoorn. That would have been hyperbolizing.
Now all of you bemoaning Obama – what has he accomplished in his mini stint in Congress that 50 other Congressmen haven’t? The very fact that Obama is being cheered on by America ( mostly Whites ) is not just proof of acceptance but racism in reverse. It’s the color of his skin that seems to be his strongest plus point.
You guys should see the way people butcher my last name: “What’s your last name, Sir?” “Hari” “This way Mr. Hardy.”
Replace Hardy with Jerry, Terry. One guy even asked me: “What kind of a last name is Erik?”
If they can do that with a 4 letter name, I dont even want to go into the permutations and combinations of names my first name can form.
Alot of desi Christians have that name, either first or last – in India.
Obama is a Senator, not a Congressman.
Although yeah, I mean, I’m not a huge fan of his Presidential bid so far either. I live in Illinois and thought he was a pretty good state Senator, but he hasn’t had an opportunity to do much in Congress (to be fair, he’s been a junior Senator from the minority party). I don’t think his national reputation is robust enough to get him into the White House.
At the same time, electing someone because he seems halfway competent and would heal some racial wounds is not as terrible (pun INTENDED, sir!) as you make it out be. This country has elected heads of state on more idiotic grounds in the past. And really, is it a dumber reason than “my husband was President”?
In other words, that which is called a rose by any other name does not smell as sweet to everyone. 🙂
This is a fascinating discussion. Isn’t it a question of identity? I guess first generation immigrants would obviously want to maintain at least part of the identity and culture that they grew up with and hence be attached to their names which probably are among the most personal forms of this identity. Second generation immigrants would probably have some identity too, but would the subsequent generations really want to cling to this identity? Or define new ones, and probably be more comfortable with non-Indian sounding names. I certainly had friends back in India who disliked their names because these sounded too ancient… Shayantani or Chandramallika, that used to be popular Bengali names 5 decades ago, sometimes embarass owners today even in India, and these people often swear right from childhood that their own children will have “better” names.
So, although I dislike people in the West being dismissive or mocking about my own name, I don’t see the big fuss against 2nd or 3rd generation immigrants naming their kids with local names.
Folks, its not just desi names that get mispronounced. My name gets mispronounced occassionally but then its the same for some German, Swiss, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Israeli colleagues’ names. How do you pronounce a German guy’s name written as Michael-its to be pronounced quite like the Russian Mikhail. Or a name written as Xiu-its pronounced as Sho and not shu.Or say Søren-I had a colleague by that name from Germany who would be addressed as Sorren!
How many desis get Chinese, Korean and German names alright. Or even French-i know a few friends who pronounced Laurent with a prominent t in the end. Or some desis from back home would just say Lau-rent (rent pronounced as, yes, rent). I often even notice desis mispronouncing their own names!! Sometimes the excuse is that it would be easier for Americans to pronounce. In my opinion, you set the boundary for how much people play with your name. An occassional mispronounciation happens to everyone who’s a foreigner-not just desis. Carelss, lazy pronounciation is really irritating, but if someone has tried honestly to pronounce your name and still doesn’t get it right, it could just be that their language doesn’t have similar phonemes.
What had Bush accomplished before he became president? Governor of Texas (after proving he could do nothing else). Oh, and incidentally, son of an ex-president. And an idiot to boot.
What had Clinton done? State governor of the great state of Arkansas?
Bush senior actually had a very impressive resume. But Reagan? Carter? Ford? There’s a reason people like Henry Kissinger, Robert McNamara, Condi Rice, etc, don’t become president. Yes, they’re brainiacs, they’re competent administrators, but the presidency is a popularity contest that’s first and foremost about fundraising, and secondarily about telegenicity.
The reality is that almost no one becomes president for the reasons that their most ardent supporters think.
HA! I’d much rather have my long indian name than a name like – Hope, or Apple or India, thank you. I have a long south indian last name, and my husband’s last name has one syllable more than mine. (also south indian). Imagine if we hyphenated our kids name eith both our last names! I am xxx- ramchandran-krishnaswamy! Poor child. That said, I think people who care to know you gnuinely, do take teh rouble to pronounce your name correctly, even if its at the cost of a coupla retakes. I’d rather have someone mangle my name trying, than be called someone else. Not so long ago – I met an american desi called Preeti who for some Godforsaken reason couldn’t remember my name, and she was not being silly or joking – She decided to call me Suzie – I was NOT happy at all, and even more annoyed that one of ‘us’ has ‘sold’ out so to speak – that to wearing an Indian name. Needless to say, I refused to acknowledge her till she learnt my name.
Why all the Southie, Northie, Guju, etc self-descriptors on SM lately? I’m curious about this phenomenon, particularly in light of the whole South Asian versus Indian comments-macaca in the past…….
Oh, I’m casting a wide net over several posts here: the southie Hindu part of this post makes perfect sense in context.
These types of names are gorgeous sounding with gorgeous meanings;
Chandramallika – a moon garland, or one who makes a garland of moons. Don’t know what Shayantani means.
My personal favorite is Priyamvada. Endearing speech, or one who speaks endearingly. And it has a catchy ring to it.
I don’t get why anyone would be embarrased of these types of names and opt for “Pinky” instead.
There’s a context for that, particularly in this discussion. Common southie names tend to be ten syllables long. Common Gujarati names (Patel, Shah, Desai) tend not to be as daunting for non-browns to pronounce.
And, final non-sequitor. Obama has a charming personality, , but the the “we can’t babysit a civil war” comment really turned me off. Babysit is perhaps not quite the word to use….
Mr. Kobayashi: senator is good enough but governor is not in terms of experience? Well, history seems to differ in terms of the electibility of the two.
Why not make their last name a shortened version of both that still has meaning; “Ramkrishna”.
Ram and Krishna are both easy to pronounce, and alot of Americans are familiar with those names because of “hare rama, hare krishna”.
I know Obama is a Senator. The Senate and the House together make the Congress. Technically both Senators and Reps can be referred to as Congressmen though it has over the years got associated only with the latter.
Kobayashi, I get your point. It’s a good one. However I do disagree that Bush is an idiot. Yes his vocabulary is limited and he goes to bed at like 8 but I am sure history will redeem this man’s actions particularly his foreign adventures.
Naina, I addressed that point in #123.
I’m not making a judgment either way. I’m calling bullshit on the whole contarned exercise. When I’m done calling bullshit, I make a pragmatic choice, as we all do.
I got a unique and ethnically ambiguous first name and a totally Indian middle name. (btw, I’m mixed)
What telegenicity does Bush have?
I hope either Hillary or Obama get in, yes just because of gender and race. America needs either a female pres or a black pres right now to right alot of past wrongs and redeem it’s place as a “progressive nation” in the eyes of the world and itself.
But it will divide alot of votes. Like should black women vote for Hillary or Obama?
Mr. Kobayashi – did not mean to insult the butchers by dragging their names in. let’s jump on the bakers! or the candlestick makers (“he waxed poetically about my name”)
musical – yes, you’re right – it’s tough to manage other cultures as well. I once worked with an African-American and I was embarrassed asking her to repeat and spell her name for me.
kavita – good for you for ignoring Preeti girl who calls you Suzy. Ask her if you could call her Jessica (as in Simpson).
Not necessarily. The media always, every presidential election, homes in on people of charisma, and this time the one with the most is Obama.
we get teased like that all the time by our friends anyway! I think my point here was that I’d just stick with one last name…..
Amardeep,
I am a big fan of original names, be it of Italian, African, Indian (from South Asia or Native) origin.
My name is very simple, and it never had any problems.
However,
At MIT-Harvard, two economists (they both are desis with huge research group) did an extensive study – I think it was part of MacArthur Genius Award – where same/ similar resume with an Anglo sounding name, and with an African sounding name were sent to various companies. The former one (the Anglo one) was called for interviews by a long shot. Even the results were published in main stream media.
This said, one of the most iconic actress of Hollywood, Ingrid Bergmann never changed her name even though studios at the time suggested/ tried.
Oh I so wholeheartedly support this request. That would be awesome.
This is disturbing and would never influence me. If anything this would make me defiant. I’ve ploughed thru plenty of jobs in my industry that rarely sees anyone Indian and kept my name. Same with my life before this when I worked in a completely white male dominated field (Sports footwear) forget brown there wasn’t even a woman in sight then. So I don’t buy into this “conform your kid so the other kids don’t tease him or he won’t get a job” business. I’ll teach my kid to punch the other kid in the nose if he makes fun of him!
Kobayashi IÂ’ve missed you man LOL.
MAJOR troll alert!!
What telegenicity does Bush have?
More than Kerry.
Since, JFK-Nixon first TV debate, telegnicity plays a big role.
At a time in America when so many people with ordinary names like Janet or Bob are searching for the origins of such names and seeking meaning in them, I would think that unusual, “exotic” or “ethnic” sounding names would be all the rage and maybe even an object of envy for some.
Especially in states like California and metros like NYC.
It was Harvard and GSB (Univ of Chicago), whites were 50% more likely to get called back. I had no idea fictitous white racism could produce results this real. [link]
Try Maitri Venkat-Ramani. Yikes. And, in the south, they can’t tell the difference between Maitri and Osama. Retreads. Yeah, that Aasif Mandvi sketch cracked my gora husband and me up.
Welcome aboard, fellow southie Hindu!
That’s why my daughter Angela Dhillon will advantage over other desi due to fact her name is more western and easier to say.
This may be wrong, but that is how the real world works.
Kush Tandon: That would be Profs. Sendhil Mullainathan (note the lovely South Indian last name) and Marianne Bertrand. The paper is here. Another paper by Steven Levitt, of Freakonomics fame, ascribes a BNI (Black Name Index) to each name and sees what effects BNI has on desirability in employment.
Despite being academic papers, they’re both really interesting reads.
While in reality, American culture isn’t genuinely white/European, the promoted cultural image was nothing other than that until about 50 years ago. The folks who were little kids 50 years ago are running the country now and they’re not going to let their childhood die without a fight…
On a less serious note, I’m suprised no one’s brought up the American habit of verbal nicknaming. While Siddhartha becomes Sid, Susan also becomes not Sue but “Suuz”. Angela becomes “Ang”! (That always bothered me.) And I can’t remember the last time I heard anyone besides the Queen Mother actually called Elizabeth.
Which is not to imply that the perverse need for shortening hasn’t turned many a LaKeisha to Keke. But my people do love repetitve syllables.
(un)Fortunately, my first and last names are so Anglo when I enter the room, people are still looking for me…
HMF,
Sendhil at that time was @ MIT but now is @ Harvard. Sendhil has a MacArthur Genius Award.
Also, the study was a part (supported) of Banerjee’s group @ MIT.
I think it is a very revealing study.
Oh really?
When I asked my arab muslim friend who lives smack dab in the middle of the bible belt if she felt any prejudice or hostility towards her because of her religion, culture and mode of dress she said no, that people are mostly curious rather than hostile, and once you answer their questions, are quite open to learning more in a positive way about different cultures and religions.
I think there is way too much stereotyping going on here about whites and southerners in America.
All people want one thing; LOVE All people fear one thing; REJECTION
If you have a vibe of love and acceptance, most hearts will be melted.
Well who knows. Americans are much less hung up on this than they were 10 or 20 years go. Even 9/11’s xenophobia is receding. I’ve seen the way people react to my parents’ and friends’ super-desi names and those reactions certainly have changed. By the time your daughter is applying to jobs, who’s to say that having the non-desi name will still be an advantage?
Maratha!
I agree with you Neal that things are much better then 10 or 20 years ago and that 9/11 xenophobia is receding. Infact I thing people do play the race card alot more then it should be played.
Mistress of Spices: your point is wasted on these boards, sadly. Lots of people have made that point, repeatedly, including me ad nauseum with the Iowa (my home state) anecdotes, but there will always be some clueless wonder who thinks it’s okay to bash southerners, whites, whatever, while sounding outrage at racism against their favored group. I thought it was all bad?
It’s an Alanis Morissette level of irony…..
*I think clueless is winding some of you up.
I am surprised no one has brought up the unfortunate names “Dixit” and “Ashit”.
Butchering of names is hardly a gora/American phenomenon. Most North Indians can’t pronounce South Indian names.
People are just as bad about this stuff in NYC and California than in the South and Midwest. In fact, in flyover country, people might make more of an effort to try to be nice.