READERS are blowing up the tip line asking us to cover the story below. Here’s a sampler:
- “Where to even start?”
- “I think the title says enough”
- “I think this one is fairly obvious”
- “interesting/ridiculous contrasts between public health awareness vs. outrageous journalism”
- “I think it’s pretty self-explanatory why this is interesting. Scientific fact? Post-colonial subjugation through emasculation? What do desi women (or gay men) think?”
You asked for it. And here it is, via the BBC:
A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men. …
Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their penises measured precisely, down to the last millimetre.
The scientists even checked their sample was representative of India as a whole in terms of class, religion and urban and rural dwellers.
The conclusion of all this scientific endeavour is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.
This news is the top item in William Saletan’s science round-up this morning in Slate, which offers a translation of the key finding for any macacas that aren’t down with the metric system:
Thirty percent of Indian men are 1 inch short, and another 30 percent are 2 inches short.
Cue up another round of outrage, snark, statistics, exotification and sundry manifestations of sexual anxiety. As you can see, two of the tipsters left comments questioning the reporting of this story. Media hype? Colonial plot? Lou Dobbs?
Speaking of sexual anxiety: For those of you who read this site because you are considering becoming involved with a diasporic macaca, I would caution that you not jump to any conclusions about his member until you’ve had a chance to inspect it for yourself. Emigration leads to changes in diet and other health factors, which results in changes in body type. Just because your macaca’s grandpapa might have had a teeny weeny doesn’t mean your wholesome, corn fed, suburban cul-de-sac raised American desi shares the predicament. Whew!
Discuss. [Previous Sepia jimmyhat analysis here.]
WHATEVER! I have to do my own, independent study, as Roonie pointed out above. Will the first 3 subjects come forward please??
Delicous
S’more delicous…
Oh yes, can’t forget this delicous!
Abhi, you’re right. I suppose I am not a TRUE scientist, just an amateur aspiring to be one.
It’s been a wretched week for youz Abhi. You entered a thread with some game, left with none and now your mojo has been marginalized and made miniscule.
Dude, its your characterization. How do you generalize from one funny/dirty song to conclude that there is something known as
? It’s one thing when non-Punjabis make silly Punjabi generalizations (see any Hindi film or TV serial with a sardar in it–always the buffoon), but for a Punjabi to make such a generalization on such a topic?! Traitor! 🙂
John Abraham is going to be in LA?
not so “hard” to believe that the people who wore tights for generations would want to divert attn to those who wore dhotis and lungis for much longer…
someone forwarded me the Reuters article on this study, with a personal disclaimer that i thought you all might appreciate:
250+ comments and nothing from SpoorLam??
hey guys! dont get defensive if you’re just… average (2:14).
You’d think wouldn’t you? Fortunately I swing my bat for a high average. Game on.
You’re batting for a woman you don’t have? 😉
That’s like being a fulltime pinch runner.
262 comments and not one mention of the imperialist attack on saffron balls?
I mean, look at the, um, organ reporting this propaganda – the BBC?
Any Street Fighter 2 players? Dhalsim disproves this whole thing. Long arms, long legs…you do the math.
John Abraham is going to be in LA?
Errr, second favorite 😉 I actually haven’t decided if John Abraham is my utmost favorite desi. I think my #1 favorite may have been from my law school…
Since I have a predilection for brown men, I can say with some confidence, that having over the years done some research on the matter, that I am more often than not, pleased with the package that my desi brothers pack. During my early university days, I did go through a period I’d like to forget, which I would refer to as my “white phase”. Have to say, that the desi men measure well ahead. And, in T.O., when I gup-shup with my various hags, the consensus is that brown is a good way to get down (except I do hear that lasting ability leaves something to be desired with our straight brothers). So, straight and gay brown men, despite this research, your rep on the street is safe still (at least in Toronto).
Why is everyone taking this to mean that Indians are shorter than average? Where does it say that anywhere in the article?
Here’s what it actually says (from Slate):
Converting the above, 60% of participants are between 5″-6″
How is this any different from what the Lifestyle Condum Survey of Americans concluded back in 2001?
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/WolfFiles/story?id=90588&page=1
It’s not a real song, but a pun I created by combining “Lund” with a famous caveat by Panjabi MC. Plus, desitude made that assertion, not I.
For the record, I’m not Punjabi, I’m Poonjabi. @=) And I’ve always maintained that my Poonjabi brethren are hung like a an ox and even require their own gopi for proper care and maintainance.
Ahem Mine are thankfully safe from crafty leftwing-cabal and commie bastards who wish destroy Assertive Nation and 20 million years of Vedic virility………..but for how long? Glorious Hindu lunds were the basis for the Egyptian pyramids 140,000 years ago but now Abrahamic pinko-fags traitors like John Abraham are diluting the Saffron Balls and thereby slowing down the Hindu Rate of Growth!
Death to John Abraham and his chota lund! Hail PunjabiFemale and her gigantic saffron balls!
Err…Northern Indian men have relatively bigger penises. Punjabis etc…mmm mountain men.
Yes that is a generalization and yes that comes from personal experience. 😉 Had to share of course.
I don’t know if anyone has noted this, but about a year ago? there was a bbc article on E. Asian dicks. I paid attention since I was dating the owner of one. They got told their dicks were no shorter than anyone else’s. The averages broke down along the same lines as the rest of the (I’m assuming western?) population. Still its fun to see how the guys get all riled up about it.
Apologies to the real Spoorlam for the lame attempt.
Grace us with your presence, O tolerant and lotus-fragranted one!
Roonie — really? there are hot desi guys in law schools??
I back her up on that one. I eat my lunch at UCLA Law just to gawk. Pied Piper, you act surprised… 😉
This thread has been fun. I wonder what people’s 55 fiction on THIS topic would be…
-t
Oh yeah lawyers are super hot PP! Anyone that can bust out and break down the law for you in one breath is pretty hot.
this study is a goddamn lie and when i find the evil-doers responsible for this outrage, i will beat them over the head with my gigantic indian cock.
I think in typical naive and oblivious desi old people’s fashion, the researchers in the study had no clue that there was anything to their research but the terribly interesting question of condom slippage frequencies. Its interesting why this article is so interesting to readers of yahoo and the bbc. Does this have anything to do with globalization? Maybe it has to do with resentment of the desi diaspora? maybe desi guys need to be taken down a peg or two? does it humanize us? is this just a welcome comic relief from the majority of international news? or is the international community really that interested in our lunds?
because if they are just interested in our lunds, willing subjects are surely near at hand to dispel myths and restore faiths
You cannot clap with one hand. It takes two to tango as the cliche goes. So the size of the lingam by itself is meaningless unless coupled with the right size yoni.
This is from the most ancient and chief saffron balls himself.
Somewhere else, he defines small = 4 inches, normal = 6 inches and large = 8 inches as the distribution with outliers on both ends left out.
So people it’s not one size fits all, but the matching sizes of the yoni and lingam that is important. So there!
Its all funny now; but here we have tangible evidence of our ‘inferiority’, brought to you by the ‘credible’ western media. no its not about taking the brown man down, though I can see the bbc editor laughing, but it will live with us, just like desi=IQ 80 lives with us – and gets tiresome when one hears it repeated for the 500th time (that IQ biz of course is meant to take the step out of the model minority, and is also allegedly ‘credible’). and the net makes all things worse: ppl just wont say to your face what theyll say here. Hairy backs, small dicks, and stupid : sigh.
So the lingam can’t find the perfect matching yoni, then go for high unions.
risible, Only for an insecure person with an inferiority complex and who chooses to play by these rules of bigger is better. For someone secure in his sheath, it’s like water off a ducks back and an opening for some mirth and fun.
hey, don’t call me stupid!
Funniest.Comment.Ever!!!
So vat IS the average penis size that we desi dudes fall so short of?
Sigh. Short. Hairy. Fat. Unhealthy. Old-fashioned. Chauvinistic.
And I thought we desi dudes had enough to deal with. Sigh.
Hairy backs? Wax ’em. Aveda will charge you like $30 for the entire painful process. Or get a buddy with Nair in to do the job.
We, the gays, despite appearances to the contrary, generally don’t have severe issues with the size of the dong, unless one’s a bottom, in which case, you learn why the phrase “size queen” was coined. Sometimes it’s nice to have something to hold on to, but it’s not really that much of a big deal. (Hee. “Big” deal.)
But in my experience, most desi men really do need to work on that whole “lasting more than a few minutes” thing. Once in a while it’d be nice to make a night out of it.
This is no surprise.
If we men had bigger sizes India wudn’t have been bullied by every pimply neighbour
The “bad sex” edition of the Friday55 is up and there are a few to peruse, but what you should really do is join in…it’s more fun in a group. 😉
Speak for yourself..
Anyways, this whole condom misfit thing can be blamed on Congressional earmarks.. I’m looking for the link right now..
From a NYTIMES article
“The NYTimes has an excellent article on how foreign aid is often more about aiding local companies than aiding foreigners. It’s a familiar story but told with a wry look at condom production in Alabama where for decades billions of condoms have been manufactured for USAID and other programs despite the fact that costs are much lower on the world market.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/29/world/29condoms.html
No, that was fun, DJ_Dirty_P. Sorry I missed your earlier reference back in #37!
All I wish for now is an exhaustive statistical critique by Razib on the subject.
There most certainly were in mine.
After reading the info before the cut, looking at the number of comments made me laugh out loud. I had this image of hundreds of desi men going “Oh hell no…”
In other news, anyone read about the spray-on latex condom that they’re working on?
What exactly is ‘international standards’? Europeans? America?
East asia makes about a quarter of the world population. That should certainly bring down the average international size.
Combine that with the fact that South Asia makes for almost another quarter of the population and it seems unlikely that Indian men would deviate much from ‘international standards’ when in fact India should have the 2nd largest influence on international standards.
267 · VJ on December 8, 2006 08:38 PM · Direct link Why is everyone taking this to mean that Indians are shorter than average? Where does it say that anywhere in the article?
Here’s what it actually says (from Slate):
“But data collected in Mumbai till 2001 showed that 60% of the participants measured 126 to 156 mm in length” Converting the above, 60% of participants are between 5″-6″
Is that what the study indictaes??????? Can anyone else testify to this please? And if that is so, then this some more bullshit. The article illustrates a totally different picture! Post-colonial subjugation through emasculation? I definetly think so! The “theme” of this article of course will be added to the many negative stereotypes of Desi men. I think it’s time to create stereotypes of white western people not only to “clap back” at them like they shoot at us but also to deconstruct white hegemony which I think is going to be reinforced using the bullshit conclusions of this study. Here is an small example of such a tactic, please note, that this mock site of wikipedia takes shots at everyone and everything! http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/White_people
Macacca’s stand up!
And if someone says that you have a small penis because your Desi, either a) measure your penis on their forehead b) slap them in the face with it c) knock them the F*#!$ out (with fists or if your not like that then with words) or d) be a chumcha, coward or kutha and accept it and do nothing.
razib writes:
I think the expression is: I am a living, walking tripod.
M. Nam
Glad someone mentioned this:
I’m reliably informed, however, that “bhojpuri baingan” is a reference to the rondure of Bhojpuri breasts. Anyone want to back me up on this one ?
Back in the `80s, the top folk smash-hits in the Hindi heartland were two casettes entitled “Harami Kela” and “Bhojpuri Baingan”. The former is somewhat more germane to this thread, right ?
Mahesh,
I think the study indicates nothing , and there are so many things not said. Its a litmus test. Non desi people are interested in our lunds. For some reason. Why? I don’t know. We all know we have nothing to worry about in this department, I am firmly convinced.
hmm now if only a post highlighting a reputable boob size study could be posted
Its really shoddy reporting on the part of yahoo, bbc, and the TOI. They put a definite negative spin on the subject.
To add to what I said in my first post, based on the international standard condom size (160-180 mm) and the following data (reposted):
we can come to the same conclusions about Americans:
“Condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority” Americans (66% to be exact)
or,
Condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many American men as their penises fall short of what manufacturers had anticipated
or,
Initial findings of a Lifestyle Condoms Co penis survey revealed that 66 percent of American men on spring break in Cancun had penises about 2.4 cm (one inch) shorter than those condoms catered for.
“But in my experience, most desi men really do need to work on that whole “lasting more than a few minutes” thing. Once in a while it’d be nice to make a night out of it.”
That’s hardly a brown phenomenon. Remember Missy Elliot’s “One Minute Man”? She wasn’t rapping about Indians.
Richard Pryor had a great take on it – that most men lie about their stamina, but he was honest with himself. “I’m good for about 4 minutes of serious f******, and then I need 8 hours of sleep. And a bowl of Wheaties.”
Seinfeld – Of course people lie about sex. People lie during sex.
And before, that, this gem [words NSFW].
GOOD JOB VJ!!! I HOPE PEOPLE READ YOUR POSTS TO UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE TRUTH. And I think that Sepia Mutiny should blog about this issue once again TO SHOW THE WHOLE TRUTH. No disrespect to Sepia Mutiny of course, keep doing your thing!
Like I previously wrote, if anyone questions your shlong because your a Desi, put them in their place and smack them with it in the face!!! yeaaaaa boi!!! And NO I don’t have an infatuation or fetish with hitting people in the face with shlongs.
I remember this one about“short men” from 10 years ago (this is the “radio play version”)