Mon Frere?

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Before I begin, forgive me for any inadvertent formatting and presentation mistakes. I don’t use MovableType, and quite frankly WordPress is a hell of a lot easier when it comes to aligning images, doing text wraps, that sort of thing. In other words, my posts may look like a hot mess, but I promise you they will taste like seriously good chaat masala.

Frere-Hall.jpg Carrying on…

In my experience (limited though it may be), of all the cities in Pakistan, Karachi probably has the greatest number of intact buildings left over from the days of the British Raj (Lahore has prettier and larger ones, but not perhaps as many). Which is not to equate “intact” with “well-preserved”; in many cases, these building are little more than shells and facades, while others have faded into the background under the manic pressure of urban decay expansion (not unlike many aging aunties struggling with foundation and surma in a desperate effort to hold back the ravages of time). Naturally, the city government finds it a complete waste of time to actually try and maintain these buildings, with a handful of exceptions, preferring instead to focus on cramming as many slum areas into one space-time locus as the laws of physics will allow.

This is important to me, I like the pretty, and I like it a damn’ lot.One of my favourites in the list of these buildings is Frere Hall, which was erected (hee!) back in the day to honour (and I quote), “The Right Honourable Sir Henry Bartle Edward Frere” (OK, it’s no full-scale desi name, but it’s pretty good for a farang), for his contributions to developing Karachi’s economy. The building is—in my not-particularly-humble opinion—gorgeous, even more so on the interior, what with its Sistine Chapel-esque ceilings painted by Sadequain and a library etc. And on the outside, it’s surrounded by one of Karachi’s most pleasant parks (insofar as possible), the Bagh-e-Jinnah [the Jinnah Garden(s)], which all ties into two things that made it one of my favourite spots in Karachi.

1) Each Sunday, almost every bookseller in Karachi would descend upon the gardens, set up stalls to sell books at prices so low as to give even the World War II Deutsche Mark validity as currency, and start selling books that you just couldnÂ’t find anywhere else in Karachi.

2) The park was easily KarachiÂ’s best cruising ground, be it on a Sunday or any other day of the week, and if you were in the mood for a bit of rough trade, it was always nice to either get an eyeful of some serious man-candy, or sneak into some of theÂ…ummÂ…bushier, shall we say, hedges for a little bit of lovinÂ’.

And now I’m seriously pissed. I knew that with the US consulate right across the street from the park, there were issues of some sort—the area came under heightened security, and visitors began to be screened, even to the extent that guards were posted all around the entrances, and one needed some form of ID to get onto the grounds. Of a public park, mind you. Because of a foreign embassy about three hundred yards down the road, and about fifty feet over. Seriously. It’s not even directly opposite, it’s kind of “close to”, if anything.

But the reason IÂ’m pissed is because the other night, with a European friend who was in town for a wedding, I went over to Frere Hall. SheÂ’s a huge art fan and wanted to see the collection of SadequainÂ’s work etc., so we drove over.

Frere-Hall-Night.jpg

Parking? Not an issue. Police? Big issue. I chatted with them in Punjabi long enough to plead for a quick walk-around, and succeeded—or so I thought until fifteen minutes later, as we were rounding a corner, and a sub-sub-deputy-chief-lieutenant-vice-inspector or some such came tearing around the corner, panting like a queen seeing the man of his dreams shirtless on a dance floor, and demanded that we leave at once, for “security reasons”.

“Huh?” I enquired eloquently, and with the utmost delicacy. “Have you been smoking something?”

Apparently the two and a half individuals who were manning the US consulate at that (or from what I hear, ANY) hour had caught my friend and I on what was referred to as “the terror-watch system”, and were demanding that we be immediately removed from the area, since the presence of a white person was apparently grounds for terrorists to spontaneously appear and start making things explode. A lot. I argued for a few minutes, but at the end, not wanting to upset my friend further (I don’t know, she kept rabbitting on about “big guns” and “laser-sights” and other such rubbish, HOW the Germans took over half the world if she’s any sort of representative is a complete mystery to me, sort of like vagina-based sexual intercourse—I don’t quite get it, but apparently it exists and people seem to rather enjoy it), I agreed to leave the area.

What I’m curious about is, is Karachi the only city where this sort of shit happens? I mean, does anyone else know about cities where embassy privileges dictate the recreational lives of its citizens? I suppose I wouldn’t care as much if it weren’t for the fact that Karachi has so little going on that’s publicly accessible, or in the way of a mass amenity, that for something featuring so prominently in the city to be shut down in such a cavalier manner really pisses me off. I mean, even more than the “black belt, brown shoes” thing that Paul Smith promoted years ago.

I mean, where else am I supposed to fucking go to get my books AND my booty? This is a serious inconvenience, people.

[PS – Truly, I apologise for the lack of borders around images etc., I really do. And for the absence of text wrapping and slugs etc.]

59 thoughts on “Mon Frere?”

  1. “I mean, does anyone else know about cities where embassy privileges dictate the recreational lives of its citizens?”

    What are you talking about, pal – any “sensitive” embassy creates huge limitations for the civilians living around it. Even in Washington, try to organize a protest or rally near the embassy of, oh, I don’t know, a dictatorial country in bed with the Americans for the abuse of its own citizens, and promptly cars full of special secret service police land up and question you and ask you to keep 50 feet away and not “embarrass” the US because it does, you know, depend on cooperation with said dictatorship for the security of its own, cough, agents in that country (not that I’d know from personal experience, oh dear me, no). American embassies and consulates in India and in unnamed Middle Eastern countries I am familiar with are also bloody fortresses and screw up traffic (including pedestrian) like crazy.

    But restricting your cruising grounds…now, that, I think, is grounds for petitioning the ambassador. Sign me up for a front row seat when you do that, and give me time to bring popcorn and settle in to watch.

  2. I tried to petition the consul-general in Karachi, but he knew me too well, and managed to disarm me totally by sending me a bottle of Grey Goose in the arms of a blonde lean marine. The rest of the night is–as tends to be the case–a blur.

  3. Sinuous,

    I hear that embassy in Baghdad is a doozy. Encompassing 104 acres, costing $592mill, everything on schedule, water runs, electricity works, 21 buildings with a “recreation center to rival any in the United States with, among other amenities, a pool, a gym, a food court, a beauty salon, and, of course, the American Club,” it’s a palace fit for a viceroy diplomat.[link].

    And the kicker? No traffic jams. But of course! It’s in the greeeeeeeen zone. Appropriately named, that green zone.

  4. Actually, I don’t give the US embassy enough credit. At one point they wanted to move the embassy out and right next door to one of the largest social areas of Karachi, the Boat Basin (food and restaurants galore by night, school area by day), which would have COMPLETELY fucked the student population of the schools in that area, given the embassy tendency to bar roads, block off streets and the like. Fortunately, the school they were most likely to cause problems for happened to have some several thousand very well-connected alums who refused to let the government sell them the land (or so I hear).

  6. and a sub-sub-deputy-chief-lieutenant-vice-inspector or some such came tearing around the corner, panting like a queen seeing the man of his dreams shirtless on a dance floor, and demanded that we leave at once, for “security reasons”.

    damn hawaldars (panduus as we used to call them in Delhi), always thinking that they have all the control in the world. Slip them a bill next time and they’ll let you be.

    sort of like vagina-based sexual intercourse—I don’t quite get it, but apparently it exists and people seem to rather enjoy it

    to each its own i guess

  7. Having worked at a Consulate of one of the most prestigius members of the EU, I exactly am aware of the ‘bog boy’ attitude of such missions in (especially) developing countries. Why only developing countries, my experience at the British and US embassies in the first world Norway was not so pleasant either. I could write more, however, can not for some reasons 🙂

    I would however like to say that most of these things have become necessary. Any slackness in the matters of security will be disastrous in today’s scenario. Please do not complain – for your own safety.

  8. The construction of the US embassy in Ottawa caused a great deal of controversy and ill-feeling, as it was built right in the middle of a popular restaurant and bar neighbourhood (perhaps also used for cruising? Maybe Americans position their embassies as part of a sneaky anti-queer strategery?). After 9-11, it got worse, with giant jersey-style concrete barriers and a few streets cut off. Even more whining and complaining.

    But (unlike Karachi, I guess), the Americans made some efforts at being good community members, like putting trees in the cement barriers. And there are still restaurants right across the street from the US embassy. So I guess Karachiwallas are getting shafted becuase you’re brown. And poor. And all terrorists.

    (I like Frere hall too. Karachi is short of monuments and tourist attractions. After Qaid–i-Azam’s mazaar, Frere Hall, and driving by the Teen Talwar, what’s left?)

  9. I drove past the U.S. embassy in Serbia about 5 years ago (it was still Yugoslavia at the time), and the barricades alone seemed to cause a lot of friction with the locals (this was post Operation Allied Force, so some friction was to be expected). Compare this with the Italian embassy in Belgrade. There were no barricades and there was a first class Italian restaurant right next door to the Italian embassy. I shouldn’t be surprised I suppose.

  10. the us consulate in toronto is in the heart of the city. it is an interesting location. the front and back are barricaded off wiht concrete skirts. on one side, they maintain a little lawn which is barricaded off with high fences – interesting because this is prime land – and they probably pay a pretty penny to keep the developers from building on it- on the bck they have some parking garages… i suppose that’s a security risk – but they keep an eye all around. i have visited some of the neighboring buildings – and post 9-11, the security procedres extended to those buildings.

    cant blame these folks. remember the nairobi bombings..

  11. is there any architecture of note in the sub-continent post-colonia? the swaminarayana temple and possibly the bahai temple in delhi come to mind but i cant think of any more.

    I donÂ’t know if either of them qualify. Spectacular structures both, but one looks too much like the Sidney Opera House and the other one is based on ancient Indian architectural wonders.

    How about Le Corbusier in Chandigarh and a few Charles Correa structures?

  12. In other words, my posts may look like a hot mess,

    Um, no. That’s why I’m here. I clean posts, clean flung poo…it’s all part of the sentence job.

  14. is there any architecture of note in the sub-continent post-colonia? the swaminarayana temple and possibly the bahai temple in delhi come to mind but i cant think of any more.
    I donÂ’t know if either of them qualify. Spectacular structures both, but one looks too much like the Sidney Opera House and the other one is based on ancient Indian architectural wonders.
    How about Le Corbusier in Chandigarh and a few Charles Correa structures?

    While I can appreciate grand buildings, I suspect the more important contributions to indian architecture will come from folks like him and them who build smaller structures that are energy-efficient and use local materials and local know-how. Actually I think Correa also does a lot of that kind of work.

  17. appreciate your feedback ashvin, shodan.

    and i agree with your point ashvin.. my grandfather had a large haveli – had to house like three generations and a few buffaloes – in a little shed out back (the bhains that is). and it had four or maybe five floors – with a courtyard in the center that was open to the sky… it looked like something escher woudl draw – but it just amazed me that it was one of the most ergonomic residences around – built around the needs of a household with arthritic knees, scraped knees, bhains milking knees etc. – stayed cool in summer – stayed warm in winter… today’s buildings – by contrast – have no soul – and that is where i wonder about the negative impact of british colonization – the architecture, the methods that had evolved over several generations were discouraged to promote structures and designs that were geared to an english environment. the akshardham temple i pointed earlier was intriguing because it was more than an ornate structure – it seemed to have method in its craft – geared to people rather than fashion (i like that, and i like that you echoed my point ashvin but in another contexT) – the bahai temple is another level of peace – i was very moved by the solitude it offered- but that’s architecture to me… form and function… and i feel that function cant be taught in schools. it is people who live there who can create something that captures the needs of the people.. did colonization kill architecture in the sub-continent? are we doomed to take photos of buildings from the colonial era going, “vah vah. those angrez really knew something. tihs country has gone to the goats since then.”.

  20. Looks like a book is forthcoming to answer your question!

    thanks siddharth – will look up shah’s book when it comes out

  21. Lahore was once known as “Paris of the East”

    Now Paris is slowly turning into the Karachi of the west.

  22. As an American diplomat who has served in Pakistan, yes, needing to have so much security is a bother for everyone. Of course, when the locals already burned down your embassy once, you don’t spend much time waxing nostalgic about your favorite park or favorite snogging spot. I suppose knowing that the colleague and local driver who were recently blown up could have been you but for some paperwork snafus and the capriciousness of airline reservations in Pakistan also adds to the willingness to just shrug your shoulders. Just a bit of fact checking — the U.S. Consul General in Karachi is a woman, not a man. And you probably wouldn’t have been offered Grey Goose vodka — it’s not an American company 😉

  23. article on green building trend (although as hairy_d points out, it’s not really a new trend but perhaps one that is being rediscovered or reinterpreted for this age) amongst corporations in india:

    http://www.walrusmagazine.com/articles/field-notes-greening-giant/

    there’s also an IT campus in Bangalore, can’t remember the company, that was built using traditional indian principles, materials etc.

  28. Useful comment, thanks.

    How funny, I thought the exact same thing about what i quoted above!

    Who cares about whether the Consul Gen is male or shemale or that Goose is French…I like that you didn’t dispute the “lean marine” part. Hell yes.

  30. As an American diplomat who has served in Pakistan …and who sounds like a troll.

    In fairness, the US embassy in Islamabad did get burnt down by protestors in 1979. But embassies are, anecdotally speaking, universally snooty, and it is not restricted to countries where there is a clear, perceived threat.

    Maybe there are some psychological reasons, some kind of seige mentality, etc.

  31. 18 For shame Siddhartha, how can a bong like you not include Kolkotta among the many contenders for Paris of the East!

  32. I hate how when you drive on Abdullah Haroon Road (right where Frere Hall and the American consulate are) your cell phones get jammed – or the random searches on Sharah-e-Faisal. Lets not even get started about what happens when Musharraf-gee comes to town.

    And rwb, last I checked, the bar at the Consul-General’s residence/American Club served a wide variety of foreign liquors, and hence would have them in stock. Perhaps I’m not aware of diplomatic protocol that requires that any gift be only from your own country.

  34. For shame Siddhartha, how can a bong like you not include Kolkotta among the many contenders for Paris of the East!

    Simple: Because Paris is the Kolkata of the West!

  35. alybaba, you’re right there isn’t any protocol like that, though the gifts often do tend to be American products mostly for $$$ reasons, in the same way that the S. Africans often gift their local wines. I was being facetious (and apparently a troll by identifying the fact that I have worked in the country and for the govt. that Sin mentioned in his post).

  36. …But embassies are, anecdotally speaking, universally snooty,…

    Please visit a Swiss embassy/consulate if you get a chance. They are so nice, it brings tears to your eyes. I know, I know, it’s a tourism based economy, but still…

  37. hairy_d, no i am not canadian. does that bar me from the gala?:) i am south of you and will have to content myself with second-hand reports. assume you’re going?

  38. (and apparently a troll by identifying the fact that I have worked in the country and for the govt. that Sin mentioned in his post).

    That wasn’t it at all. I just remember reading your comment and thinking “killjoy”. It was a bit churlish, that’s all. If it makes you feel better, I’ll withdraw my “troll” call. There, better?

  39. hairy_d, no i am not canadian. does that bar me from the gala?:) i am south of you and will have to content myself with second-hand reports. assume you’re going?

    yes… i was just surprised to see the reference to the walrus magazine. i am a fan and a subscriber. i didnt think the word had spread afar even within canada, let alone the US. the mag’s likely to go under 🙁 if left to the free market and that’d be a shame. anyhow, in case you decide to come up north on a vild vhim, here’s the particulars.

  41. Spanking, yay! And Intern, many thanks for the poo-cleaning.

    RWB, I’m talking mainly about the closing off of Frere Hall, which happened back in the day…oh, around 2004/2005, while the Consul–mea culpa, I get confused with all the titles, and it’s force of habit to type out C-G instead of just C–you know, the one who was NOT living behind the Sind Club, but happened to live closer to the residential areas, was actually biologically male. It was just when the ID checking had kicked in, as I recall, and the mens were getting scarce. Oh, and it was Grey Goose which he’d bought from the Dubai duty-free after coming back from a vacation period, because he knew I had a weakness for it. Also, as I recall, your commissary in Karachi had a fairly hefty supply of Stolichnaya, which I don’t recall being manufactured in the US either, but Lord knows, I got my hands on a couple of those bottles pretty regularly, bless diplomacy. On the other hand, he did offer me Twinkie bars, so I guess he managed basic protocol on that front.

    I don’t argue the need for security, but given what seems to be a relatively impregnable, towering wall as well as a horde of policemen patrolling the area, I find myself wondering about whether the 100-odd yards of Frere Hall that face the embassy or at least come marginally close to it truly present as much of a security risk as the measures invoked would justify. It’s an honest question, and one that most of your co-workers (I assume) in Lahore and Islamabad as well, didn’t seem to think had a good answer. They were lovely people to hang out with though. Amazing how many gay Americans wound up getting posted to Pakistan.

  42. As an American diplomat who has served in Pakistan, my heart goes out to Kramer, who was essentially forced against his will to make statements that have been widely denounced as racist. How can such things occur in America and Pakistan, you surely must wonder? But let me make it crystal clear to all, I am not and have never been to Frere Hall.

  43. As an American diplomat who has served in Pakistan, my heart goes out to Kramer,

    Why, American diplomats suck at stand-up comedy too?

  45. the swaminarayana temple … oh crap, do I have to take my sandals off again? do you know how freekin hot the white marble gets at the Taj in June?

  46. Sin, security may be hard to justify in some places. Nairobi and Dar changed things for a lot of people. Unfortunately in Pakistan I believe it’s justifiable. In Is’bad at least, so do the other diplomatic missions if you look at the their fortresses. There’s obviously a huge trade-off. Thomas Friedman’s op-ed from 2004/2005(?) titled “Where even birds don’t fly” or something like that makes the point pretty well. There was a huge debate in Berlin about the new U.S. Embassy there, and trying to find an appropriate location and also trying to take into account aesthetic and urban planning concerns if I recall correctly. Lots of gays in Pakistan and in the foreign service along with many sepia mutineers who work in the State Dept.

  48. Well.. you should get used to the security bottlenecks around US embassies / consulates in Pakistan. Not every country gives another one 5 billion $s in 5 years..

    Moreover, some nuts burnt down the American embassy in islamabad in 1979 (yeah.. way before 9/11 and that too when both the countries are supposedly beginning to fight against the ‘godless’ communists in Afghanistan) because some other nuts forcibly took Mecca under their control because of their beliefs that Saudis are lenient on Islam.. never ending list of ironies.. 🙂

  50. Mumbaikars rejoice! The damned American Consulate is moving from Warden Rd to Bandra Kurla Complex! Woooo! MetroMallu: ROFL! I think I’ll try that.