Back in the day when your humble servant was but a wee lad, we lived in France with one extended family to visit in the United States and another in India. That made for a lot of intercontinental travel, and since we didn’t have much money, we tended to go for long stays and travel by the cheapest means possible. The result is that I achieved a lot of early experience flying on disreputable airlines. In 1973, my dad took me for my first visit back to India; Iraqi Airways was our carrier. Twelve years later, I traveled solo on Syrian Airlines. There were some sinister looking Syrian security personnel watching us as we boarded in Paris and aboard the plane. But that probably helped keep us safe. At the layover in Damascus airport I remember big empty halls and lots of pictures of Hafez al-Assad.
But the single worst passenger experience was circa 1978, on Aeroflot. Flying from Paris to Moscow was no big deal; a relatively modern aircraft, on time, quick. There was enough business, cultural and diplomatic activity between the Soviet Union and Western Europe to warrant decent service. The Moscow-Delhi leg was another story. Almost everyone on the plane was someone trying to get to India cheap — mainly backpackers and families like us — and our comfort and care were not major corporate priorities. That Ilyushin was one loud-ass aircraft and falling apart inside and out. The food was unspeakable, but the flight was long, and people ate. Mass nausea ensued, and long lines began to form in the aisles toward the rear of the plane. As I recall, we were sitting back there and the aromas were quickly getting nasty.
Amid this scene, the air hostesses, who had until then treated us with glacial Slavic/Soviet neglect, suddenly ran down the aisles toward the back, agitation on their faces, and yelled to the people in line:
“You sit! You sit! Pilot say, airplane TEEPING!”
Ah, travel tales. Well, this joyous experience is what comes to my mind as I learn from the BBC, through a kind tipster on the News tab, that
An Indian-born businessman has purchased a private central European airline for an undisclosed amount.
Harjinder Singh Sidhu, who lives in UK and is a British passport holder, bought Air Slovakia, a small privately owned airline based in the capital, Bratislava last week, it has emerged.
His son, Riqbal ‘Rocky’ Singh, told the BBC News website that his father wants to transform the 60-employee Air Slovakia into a “Punjabi experience”.
Air Slovakia, which boasts three aircraft and 60 employees, has to have the weirdest route map in the world. According to the airline website, itself an interesting specimen of the genre, it operates flights between Bratislava, the Slovakian capital, and Birmingham, Milan, Tel Aviv, Cyprus, and… Amritsar. The BBC article suggests that there are plans to serve various Western European airports, including Stansted. But make no mistake, Air Slovakia is now a Punjabi airline.
“The bulk of our passengers are from Punjab and Punjabis from Europe. So we want to brand Air Slovakia as an airline with Punjabi ambience and flavour. Our stewards, airhostesses will be from Punjab as also the in-flight food,” Mr Singh, who is a director at the airline, said.
But what does Mr Singh say about an airline catering to passengers from Punjab still being named Air Slovakia?
“The airline will have a second name of sorts when it comes to India. All tickets to and from India will be sold under a Punjabi name which will also be branded on the planes,” Mr Singh said.
In other words, if you’re in India and looking for that cheap fare to the UK, beware. Some snazzy sounding new airline offering unbeatable prices out of Amritsar might turn out to be this:
Airline passenger websites do not report a very happy experience of travelling on Air Slovakia so far.
“My advice would be not to travel on Air Slovakia, very poor service, very cramped, not enough leg room, staff rude, food poor.. Air Slovakia leave you stranded and offer you no help,” complains a passenger on one website.
I’d also recommend checking the aircraft registration papers and security records. No knock on the Slovakians, but several Eastern European countries have become known as easy places to get aircraft papers with minimal or no inspection.
But Mr. Singh promises that the old days are gone for good. He says service under the new all-Punjabi concept has already improved. (Needless to say, if any Mutineers have experienced this airline, we’d love to hear from you.) And the website is even doing its own job promoting India as a destination:
India will sideswipe you with its size, clamour and diversity – but if you enjoy delving into convoluted cosmologies and thrive on sensual overload, then it is one of the most intricate and rewarding dramas unfolding on earth, and you’ll quickly develop an abiding passion for it.
Nothing in the country is ever quite predictable; the only thing to expect is the unexpected, which comes in many forms and will always want to sit next to you. India is a litmus test for many travellers – some are only too happy to leave, while others stay for a lifetime.
Well, when I fly, I don’t like my litmus test to come and sit next to me — been there, done that, and I know it’s nasty. But still, let’s hand it to Mr. Singh for his bold, counter-intuitive business play. The brother seems optimistic about his chances of making a buck:
What is also unclear is how Air Slovakia was faring financially when the Singhs took it over.
“Let us say it is about to enter puberty. It needs some tender love and care,” says Mr Singh with a flourish.
hmm… air punjab?
air india sucks… indian airlines sucks…the best is now jet airways which goes to the UK (heathrow!)… dunno how this is going to fly… or not fly ;)…. but naan and paneer as plane food? kudos for that… bring on chana bhatura and i’m TRUE GAME 😉
i’ll keep it in mind if i ever want to go to telaviv via amritsar…
OMG – this was emblematic of my childhood life. My grandfather was posted (as an Indian government servant) in Moscow for some time in the 1980s, and we would fly Aeroflot to see him from the U.S. and to India. I can remember the liquids seeping from the roof like it was yesterday.
And the 72 horu layover in Tashkent because of engine troubles
From the Slovakia website:
The world of Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Sikhs etc etc etc! So exotic eh?
Blimey. Birmingham to Bratislava. There is something surreal about that.
Anyway….Jet Airways already does direct flights from London to Amritsar, and I think these will be a success because there is always massive demand from Punjabis. I wonder why some Gujarati entrepeneur doesnt start flying direct from Birmingham or Luton to Ahmedabad —- would make alot of money on that route too.
It is a surreal flight routes Siddhartha, but they have tapped a lucrative market, the amount of traffic generated from desis wanting to fly from England to India is huge, and I bet there will be massive demand if routes to Bangladesh and Pakistan are lightened up too.
omg…had the same experience flying Aeroflot just last year. imagine a 20 year old grabbing on to her mother for dear life as the plane rattled and parts threatened to break away during takeoff…but the price is worth it in the end
red snapper…
let’s begin:
dhaar baath airlines..
you in? from leicester to rajkot… from london to ahemdabad… from birmingham to jamnagar…
we can hand out dandia sticks…and have the stewardesses do garba as entertainment… chai, pani, nasta…the works…
Umm you guys want to hear about the time I went into Slovakia without my PASSPORT? No, that’s for another time.
I’m actually SO into this. I bet the food will be delicious, hopefully it will be a mix of Brit-Indian, Italian and Israeli. I mean, can you beat that? We might actually start flying just for the food!
couth – custumers satisfactions – uncouth
YZZ – joung till 26 years, student till 31 years
Darn- that site is a mine field!
I love the way that the son of the businessman made sure the BBC put his name down properly:
“Yeah, and make sure you put ‘Rocky’ in quotation marks, it’s what everyone calls me, don’t forget, Riqbal ‘Rocky’ Singh’….LoL
chick pea, you know if they do it well it might be fun to travel on their airplane, but I reckon they’ll probably change the name to something like Apna Punjab Airways and serve cold samosas! Maybe put a bhangra tape on loop from Birmingham all the way to Amritsar.
Yeah, Birmingham or Luton Airport to Ahmedabad would sell out a couple of flights a day with the London/Leicester Gujarati crew. Bradford-Leeds airport to Lahore ditto.
===
Now, as my mind travels I am thinking of my perfect plane route would be….
New York —–> Kingston Jamaica —–> Madrid —–> Rome —-> Amsterdam —–> London
And then back again. I’d save India and the rest of Asia for another time.
Siddhartha, excellent write-up.
Don’t leave us hanging like that, Tamasha!
Actually, you know what? Their route is quite cool. Not far to travel to Birmingham, get a decent meal in one of the famous Pakistani restaurants, home of British bhangra music scene, have good nightlife in the city centre these days apparently, shopping in the bullring, next day fly to Cyprus, plenty of nude beaches and raves there, Milan, well you know, I am so chic, Tel Aviv to be contrarian, a couple of nights in Amritsar, go and wave at some Pakistanis at the border ceremony, buy some Indian clothes for the ladies in my family, fly back to Birmingham on a Sunday, back to work Monday — no problemo. Cool.
Even Bratislava doesnt look so bad – must be alot of beer and blonde ladies there. Hey, where can I book my flight?? Come on Rocky get this thing moving!
hehe..red snapper like your plane route.. have been to those cities sans jamaica.. substitute bermuda and we’re golden!
my dream plane route…
we’ll start in nyc–rio–buenos aires–santiago–easter island–baltra (galapagos)–ofu island–beijing–cambodia—nepal–seychelles–istambul–cairo–marrakesh–home.
quote: Maybe put a bhangra tape on loop from Birmingham all the way to Amritsar.
through one tinny speaker. air travel via auto-rickshaw.
chak de phateh air!!!!!
My dream air route…NYC to Amsterdam. That’s it. Don’t need the return flight.
They should have bought Hooters Airlines when it folded. Better planes among other things…
If they do play bhangra, at some point there will be a dance off in the aisles, and chivas will be the only alcohol served. they’ll be an arguement or two and in the end everyone will make up except two men who will bear grudges against each other for the rest of their lives.
oye chak dey!
My only memories of travelling to India in the 70s/80s involve Air India. As a southie, it was an absolutely miserable experience because you had to change planes 3 times once you got into India! (and flights only left from NY, no DC service in those days). Actually, I was a toddler so I slept most of the way, but my mom complains about it to this day I’d hate to think what it would be like on the more “exotic” airlines you all have experienced. The main memory I’ve got is the little orange hard candies that the stewardesses used to give me and my sister. Soooo good.
Afghanistan <-> Amsterdam, anyone?
Has anyone ever heard of Spice Airlines? I heard they are a low cost carrier that charges as low was 699 rupees for a ticket?
Holy crap, they do exist!
http://www.spicejet.com/
How can an airline afford to sell tickets for Rs. 499???!!!!
Hahahahaha awesome.
My dream route is NYC to anywhere…don’t want to come back!
‘Tis.
But mad, mad props to your parents for going through all that to make sure you and your sister stayed connected with the family and culture on both sides. That’s no small task, even when you’re rich.
I flew Air India as kid in the 70’s. We had an unexpected layover in Paris. All the non-indian passengers were given their accomadations first and were treated like royalty while the Indians sat, waited, and perspired in the crowded terminal.
When we returned to NY, my father immediately applied all of us for US citizenship.
Amid this scene, the air hostesses, who had until then treated us with glacial Slavic/Soviet neglect, suddenly ran down the aisles toward the back, agitation on their faces, and yelled to the people in line:
Flight attendant please ;
Aaah the good old days when there were air hostesses, personal secretaries, manhole covers and chairmen of the board.
WouldnŽt help you get better service in India, unless you changed your race – now you pay US prices and still get treated like before.
When we returned to NY, my father immediately applied all of us for US citizenship.
Maybe it was the color of your skin and not your passport which was used to make the decision. With Air India one can never be sure.
Hmmm, that whole litmus test paragraph is pretty much verbatim from the Lonely Planet website, no?
Technophobicgeek, the Kaavya instinct seems to run deep in us desis.
Anyone seen the movie ‘Soul Plane’? It’s about an African-American guy who gets rich in a lawsuit, then starts an airline to cater just to African-Americans, with all the trappings that come along with that. Snoop Dogg plays the pilot. The plane itself is purple with big gold wheels. Hilarious. Sorry, no desi connection.
Amitabh what you just wrote can be construed as libel. I hope for your sake that Ms. Kaavya isn’t reading this blog. Even if it is not libel, it is in very poor taste. An unfair dig not just at her but at all of us. Plagiarism isn’t confined to a specific race. Peace
Just a joke man. I retract it.
The last part of my post got cut off.
Just Kidding. It was hilarious!
Although I don’t think it would qualify as libel.
Knowing how touchy we have become on this board, I just put it up before someone else did in all seriousness.
Desidawg,
you might want to watch out, Amitabh is a fan of bhangra-rap music and he might be wearing an ultra macho gold chain. those kinds of people are bad news
Sahej…. Much respect my Punjabi brotha.
It was just the first thing that occured to me when I read technophobicgeek’s link and saw that Slovakia Airlines had copied the whole thing practically verbatim.
No, no, Desidawg, I wear an ultra macho gold chain, remember, you don’t respec that, you think people like me bark at good looking women and all
😉
Sahej, I think the term I had used was paw desi women. Barking at good looking women would be ok. 🙂
No but I have gold teeth though.
ok. good comeback
btw i do not think its ok to bark at women
Can we get back to the airline (and/or Kaavya)? I feel like I’ve sidelined enough discussions on this forum.
Right Amitabh,
I mean it Desidawg, good comeback, let’s be homies
I think this airline is a great idea, and among other things, it’ll be nice to have an airline of brown people in which the stress level isn’t turned up to 10
q. What is the name of a Punjabi airline?
a. Kitthay Pacific
that’s not very funny
Why do you think the stress level would be lower?
sorry for the unrelated comment.thought someone might be interested. rajiv chandrashekhran is on fareed zakaria’s show, “foreign exchange” on pbs, on the east coast.