I don’t monitor it regularly, but when I do, PostSecret inevitably offers at least one confession which gives me chills; on September 30, a few of you shivered, too.
Dearest Pecola, I Want to Weep.
Sepia Mutiny
All that flavorful brownness in one savory packet
A question for readers of Post Secret. Are these picture postcards (as opposed to the actual comment) made by site bloggers or are they made by those who posted the secret?
My secret: I always put on a brave face but I am scared to go into the basement alone, especially when it is dark and the monkeys are grumpy.
Abhi – the postcards are made by those posting the secret. Postsecret.com doesn’t have bloggers – just one guy, Frank, who puts up the postcards he receives. The visuals are all original creations made by people sending in secrets.
I’ve never heard of PostSecret but I can’t say I relate much to the sentiment in the image, although I see how one could relate. First, who says it would be easier to be white? Yes, white skin probably affords certain privileges, but if one were to compare individual to individual, we all deal with a lot of the same problems (office politics, family squabbles, relationships, illness, loss of loved ones, etc., etc., etc.) regardless of race. Besides, if I was born white, who’s to say I would be born under similar circumstances? I was raised in comfortable circumstances by a close-knit family that happened to be brown. Would I trade that in to be born into a poor coal-mining family in Appalachia? Probably not. I guess my basic point is, as the post card states, that this person thinks it would be easier. One can’t know if it will be easier, so we should stop wasting those brain cells that are asking “what if?” and instead use them to figure out how to best play the cards we are dealt by asking “what now?”.
My community was born out of love, Sikhs, and have withstood every trial and tribulation. My peeps will give their head before their virsa. Of course, this is not something expected on a personal level, but the values behind it are deep. Khoob khoob sadaa roop!
No grief for this person though, my respects to them!
sriram, i think you make a very good point. one implicit assumption of course is ceteris paribus. another point is that i think in a generation cosmetic surgery and what not might allow people to become whatever race their want (e.g., much more effective and less damanging skin lighteners).
Well sais, but I think the question is, would you be better off if you had been born into all the same circumstances you were born into EXCEPT for being white?
“Yes, white skin probably affords certain privileges”
What are you talking about? Dont you know, after MLK stood in Washington DC and said “I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers. That’s exactly what happened! MLK couldn’t even get to the end of his speech, the little boys and girls joined hands and ran around so much.
Don’t pollute the brown-waves with insinuations that previously existing differences continue to persist today in different ways.
I can’t diss someone for feeling that way. Must be some circumstances that lead the person to feel that way. Perhaps maturity and experience might fix it. I myself secretly wish I was a man everyday!
that reminds me– on the random-assed chance that the artist who created this confessional collage reads this blog, i want to make it clear that i was not dissing them. at all.
…and a friendly, supportive ear. Sometimes it can be really hard to be the one that stands out in a sea of white faces, no matter how old/experienced you are. Who knows what their day-to-day circumstances are or what kind of support network they may (not) have access to? Hope that person is able to find the encouragement that they deserve.
Umm…the person who created this card could have been white/black/cobblinasian/octoroon etc. I suspect there’s no verification process. Even if that is the case, this is not to say there isnt/aren’t brown(s) who wouldn’t share this sentiment.
My secret is that I am going to take a 2 hour lunch cuz I need to check out a new Argentinian joint in Queens.
I can honestly say that when I was a teenager I shared the sentiment of the person who submitted the postcard. Now I can say I’m proud of being Indian without any question. It took me a little while to get here during the rough years of adolescence when circumstances allowed white friends certain freedoms that I couldn’t possibly attain. Now I realize that I had many freedoms as well, I just didn’t know they existed. There are many seemingly social “norms” for “Western” society that even as an adult I have not experienced or will not experience out of respect and/or fear of my parents. When faced with decisions that may cause a culture clash in my head, I can be proud of being Indian and have sudden envy of “what could be” had I been a different culture. These moments hurt but can be overcome– it takes time and understanding.
To envy the group that possesses social privelege is a normal and easy feeling– but to learn to love what you have and who you are can be very difficult.
All of that aside, what would life be without yogurt, rice, and mango pickle to end dinner????
My answer is specific to my personal experience. I have absolutely nothing to complain about with my lot in life, so aside from superficial things like salary and people’s perception of me, the answer is no. I do not think I would be better off.
JOAT also raises a very good point. In my experience, society’s insults towards me as a desi man pale in comparison to society’s insults towards my sisters, regardless of their race.
I have peeked at their website a few times since it first put it’s face out in the publicity machine and have always come away with the feeling that a fair portion of the cards on the site are completely faked.
Maybe by the person who runs the site or most probably by the people who send in the cards.
JayV
glad you posted about this anna… i wrote something about this postcard in my own blog this morning… this Indian gal wishes she was white….because it would be easier…and to be quite honest..I think I agree…that it would’ve been easier to be white while growing up.. however, at this moment and after growing up and getting past most of the ‘growing pain’s’..i’m ultimately glad & thankful to have my culture, upbringing, values, and other untangible things that being ‘brown’ has provided me..
Have you ever wanted to be of a different race, color, sex, creed? I think 99.9% of people have wanted to be in others shoes at some point in their lives… every race has it’s own difficulties… the grass only seems greener… although at times you are sure the grass is truly greener on the other side… I found this postcard to be thought provoking..
“offers at least one confession which gives me chills; on September 30, a few of you shivered, too.”…
And this is the one that gave you chills? What about the one confessing MURDER right on the same page???
In my experience, society’s insults towards me as a desi man pale in comparison to society’s insults towards my sisters, regardless of their race.
agreed. most of my female friends have privately sometimes wondered aloud what it would be like to be male. i don’t see a symmetric sentiment (publically or privately).
This is not about what I find disturbing, but kindly note that I wrote “at least one”.
It shouldn’t be surprising that I chose the Sepia postcard vs. the sensational.
And this is the one that gave you chills? What about the one confessing MURDER right on the same page???
Exaggerate much? I know this is off-topic, but if you’re referring to the postcard I’m thinking of, I believe we’re more likely talking about assisted suicide or something. I guess I feel its a fine line for some people, but chill out.
I think the idea of that PostSecret site is pretty cool, even if some of the submissions are faked. I’m glad you turned me on to it. It reminds me of the catharsis that comes from institutional constructions like the South African “Truth & Reconciliation Commission.” It’s somehow useful to be reminded of the kind of secrets, guilts, and regrets everyone around us is carrying with them all the time, that we don’t even know about.
Exaggerate much?
It’s probably not even that. I had to go back and reread them to see which one I’d missed. Much more charitable likely interpreation–loved one going into surgery, writer says, “don’t worry, you won’t feel much pain,” loved one doesn’t make it out of surgery. No sense of closure, no way of knowing what it was like, guilt at possibly false reassurances, all wrapped up in general grief. That’s all.
I thought how true it was when I read it first time. When I was a kid and even now sometimes I think along the lines of ‘I wish I had brains bigger’, ‘I wish my parents were richer’, etc., etc. But then immediately I think I have to deal with the cards that are dealt to me. I am sure not insignificant of people feel the same at times.
I love PostSecret and read it often. This is possibly the first postcard I’d seen from someone explicitly desi. Yes, there is no verification process, and some of them may be faked. I do think most postcards are sincere, and that even the faked ones — though fake to the creator of the card — reflect sincere sentiments.
When I was a kid and even now sometimes I think along the lines of ‘I wish I had brains bigger’, ‘I wish my parents were richer’, etc., etc.
i wonder what % of people around these parts would roll the die if they had to be transformed into the random white person 🙂 i wouldn’t take that risk, i’d prolly be stupider 🙂 (and not as good looking 🙂 i think most feel the same. just because we don’t have ‘white skin privilege’ doesn’t mean we don’t have privilege.
On a tangential note, this is one of the reasons I’m against affirmative action. I don’t think being black, brown, gay or whatever is overall a worse lot in life than being white.
I’ve occassionally asked myself what it would be like to be female, and while I personally shudder at the thought, I don’t think it’s so bad to be a girl. Statistically speaking, women are more likely to suffer from self-esteem issues and men from narcissism. This might explain why women are more likely to wish they were men than vice versa. Because, honestly, I think women are just as good as men 😉
I love PostSecret. And I’m so glad the PostSecret site doesn’t allow discussion of the entries; there’s no room for immature judgement like I’m seeing here. Come on, people.
“Perhaps maturity and experience might fix it.”
I totally disagree Jane. I consider myself a mature mid-20s working woman who has a great relationship with my family. However, when things come down to me dating and my parents refusing to acknowledge my relationship with a white guy who is NOT a doctor and me wishing that things would be easier if I was white, is an issue of frustration and cultural gap, not maturity and experience on my part. There are plenty of reasons this person might feel this way, many of which that could extend to miscommunication and misunderstanding between the parent and child. I don’t think it’s fair to look at this person as someone who’s an ABCD or “immature” by any means. There are plenty of American born Indians out there that struggle with these cultural issues because that gap between parent and child is never closed or lessened. Or because there is a lack of compromise on either side. It’s often frustrating to hear from well-rooted American born Indians that kids should just accept their culture and be proud of it…but when you’re exposure has been so limited or when your family and you are not willing to compromise on certain issue and bridge the gap with genuine understanding and love, I can see how some people can get caught up in the never-ending circle of denial and confusion.
Someone should write a PostSecret card about educated SM readers who refuse to use the subjunctive.
I am curious to know, if there is a similar sentiment that religious-minorities in India feel? Does a middle-class Muslim/Sikh/Christian teen feel that life in India would’ve been better if he/she was a Hindu?
Someone mentioned a coal-mining white-family from Appalachia in a previous comment. I went to Virginia Tech for my undergrad. VT is almost in the heart of coal-mining country near the border of West Virginia. I went there from Qatar, where I had grown up, and in essence it was almost thru the Indians of American origin that I met at VT that I encountered the most obvious discrimination. The majority of white people that I encountered there were in general accepting of who I was. However, the people of Indian-origin were in a sense almost embarrassed to be seen with me. I looked like them, but, was very different. The clothes I wore, the way I spoke, what I knew about America was all very different. Maybe my case was an exception, but, I feel like the way those people treated me was in a way an extension of the sentiment on the post-card. They wanted to be seen as (White) Americans and one way of showing that was probably to show that they had nothing in common with me inspite of the shared racial/cultural heritage.
dearie… has it occurred to you that the breadth of your experience excludes instances where the ‘other’ culture has been as blinkered as the one you’re setting out to shed.
my personal way is to be me, and then define the world around me… by definition, those around me are those who CHOOSE to be with me.
anyhow this is a philosophical discussion – another time.
“i think most feel the same. just because we don’t have ‘white skin privilege’ doesn’t mean we don’t have privilege.”
You’re 100% right. (no sarcasm here) There is class privelage, able-bodied privelage, and all kinds of other privelage in addition to white privelage. But I think the implication in the post card is, [all other things the same] it would be easier. And it works in that direction, because for every rich powerful “brown” guy there’s usually a white equivalent, taking the USA as geographical context. Don’t get me wrong though, I think wishing you were white, as a way to make things “easier” for yourself is psychologically damaging, but it’s a logically sound thought process.
But many whites say the same thing too, “it’s so easy for minorities, etc, they get all these special handouts, if I was black it’d be so easy…”, and they too have the same implication, that is, with all other things the same, but given the socially stratified history of the country, all things can never be the same. A white one-legged busboy still gets through airport security quicker than a billionaire of muslim descent. A white person doesn’t go through their entire life being reminded of his skin color.
A white person doesn’t go through their entire life being reminded of his skin color.
that’s not true thanks to people like you 🙂 or, to be precise, a non-college educated white person.
It Wasn’t Me!
In India, in most cases and most times it doesn’t matter what faith you belong to but how much money you have in comparison to the people around you. As long you have money, you have power. With these two things you can get away with anything even if you belong to minorities (There are quite a few such examples if you troll through recent news). So I would say poor people are the ones that get oppressed in India.
what’s with some of the meanness, y’all? I think it’s totally human to wish, at some point in your life, for something that you’re not. Whether for straight/curly hair, lighter/darker skin, more/less money, fatter/thinner, more/less excitement, taller/shorter, whatever… to be a different race or a different gender, because it may be perceived as easier, is within the same lines. Besides, the point of Post Secret is to air all the little things that people think or feel, yet realize that verbalizing them and having such statements attributed to themselves is probably not socially accepted.
I wish I was 5’1″ so I could become a gymnast, walk on my hands, and join the circus.
“that’s not true thanks to people like you 🙂 or, to be precise, a non-college educated white person.”
Funny, you actually prove my point with your smiley face. If my opinions or “camp” as you like to call it, had nearly the effect that you claim it to have, why joke about it? But the white world view can dismiss me as a “reverse” racist, whatever the hell that means, and call the viewpoint “leftist gibberish.” MLK, Malcolm, Medgar Evers, Stokely Carmichael, all these folks constantly “reminded” white people about their skin color – but were dismissed as quickly as they came (three of the four were dismissed by a bullet)
HMF, let’s declare a ceasefire until we hit 200 comments on this thread.
I wish I was an immigrant to an imaginary homeland so I could construct my world to my ideals.
Oh.
Where do you see immature judgement?? Every person is discussing it with compassion.
Maturity and experience allows you to manage the cards that are dealt with you rather than experience deep frustration. As we grow up and lose the luxury of throwing our hands up in the air we learn to deal with what and who we are and find creative ways around it. Maturity and experience will eventually allow a person to deal with the frustration and manage the cultural gap. No one says life is a peach. Maturity and experience allows you to shape the world around you rather than define yourself according to the world around you.
coudlnt this be fake “postsecret”?
Guys, I just posted my first secret. I hope I did it right. Don’t judge me.
“. Maturity and experience will eventually allow a person to deal with the frustration and manage the cultural gap. No one says life is a peach. Maturity and experience allows you to shape the world around you rather than define yourself according to the world around you.”
Jane, this is true. But another question worth asking is, is firefly’s “wish to be white to ease things” and the fact that she’s in a relationship with a white male entirely uncorrelated throught processes?. Surely one doesn’t necessarily imply the other, but it’s not clear to me they are completely independent.
If I had my choice I would prefer to be truly brown(er). Some part of my preference for dark skin is simply aesthetic, but I’m sure it also involves a desire to be more connected to “real” desis… to a community and culture that at times still seems out of reach. Of course I probably don’t truly appreciate what I’d be losing by being darker. Having lived my entire life being able to pass as white, I’m like the stereotypical spoiled rich kid who grew up never understanding the value of money…
You keep claiming how you have no free time. Yet, somehow, I just don’t beleive you.
bd, tanning salons. i know of one biracial woman (light skinned black father, white mother) who tried this out to feel ‘more black.’
I know from past summers spent outdoors that I can get remarkably dark with enough sun. I’ve never tried the tanning salon thing. That seems creepy somehow… not to mention the fact that too much UV is not good for your skin long term…
ROFLMAO OMG you kill me…
I didn’t even think about this. Good question.
This is all very interesting.
I’ve never wished I was white, although I have wished for other things. As has been said before, I don’t think there is anything better about being white. I have had so much luck in life (knock on wood) that I wouldn’t trade it for something that I think might be better.
If anything, I’ve wished I was more Indian so I would be better accepted by my desi peers or relatives.