Not the official sponsor of the Mutiny

“Yo Dad” informs me that the local free paper in the D.C. suburb where he lives has been advertising a new beverage called Café Sepia.

Experience the finest in coffee with ITO EN’s new CAF&Eacute SEPIA (TM). Each ready-to-drink coffee delivers an artful balance of aroma, body and flavor. Our beans are specially selected for their unmistakable character…to create a truly exceptional coffee encounter. [Link]

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p>I wish we had thought of this first. It would have solved our funding problems. My mom says we should sue them. The question is, “is it any good?” I hate the taste of coffee so I am going to rely on the blog Air Massive to give us a review:

We’re sad to report that Caf&eacute Sepia tasted weak. It was too watery and diluted than we like. In fact, it lacked the coffee punch of even most established major brands of Japanese can coffee. (Personally, the Boss brand is our gold standard in this East Asian drinks sub-genre.) Caf&eacute Sepia didn’t taste “bad,” mind you. It was actually pleasant to the tongue. But we expect more — much more — from anything that a drinks maker dares call coffee. [Link]

79 thoughts on “Not the official sponsor of the Mutiny

  1. bottled coffee? blasphemy! some things cannot be captured, especially mutinous drinks.

  2. 1) Shouldn’t you call “Yo Dad”, um, my dad, when you refer to him? 😉

    2) Tsk, tsk, everyone knows that if SM were going to have an official drink, it should not be in the coffee family- chai maybe. Or perhaps water laced with bhang?!?

  3. bottled coffee? blasphemy! some things cannot be captured, especially mutinous drinks.

    those starbucks fraps in a bottle taste alright..but i see what you are saying

    sue them i say…

  4. Abhi- you thought the “paneer issue” doomed our love? My grandfather grew coffee beans. It was the first non-baby-formula liquid I tasted. I love coffee.

    Brimful- if you combine what I wrote above AND the location of all those awesome SF meetups, you’d probably understand why I might have to ask you to reconsider your ideas. 😉

  5. Brimful is right, SM’s official beverage should be Chai!

    But….coffee, as one of friend’s father is fond of saying, “Ack. No. Stench!”! 🙂

  6. it should not be in the coffee family- chai maybe.

    Wha?? As an honorary south Indian, I’m ghana take issue with that statement.

  7. When I was first fixing to comment, I was going to add:

    SM already has an official coffee beverage- it is served exclusively at Cafe Grecco and can only be ordered by Anna.

    But I thought it might be too inside-jokey. 🙂

  8. Brimful- if you combine what I wrote above AND the location of all those awesome SF meetups, you’d probably understand why I might have to ask you to reconsider your ideas. 😉

    As a wannabe mutineer who does not like coffee but loves tea, what about that kicka$$ DC meetup that had nothing to do w/ coffee whatsoever?

  9. Abhi- you thought the “paneer issue” doomed our love?

    I have a gag reflex when it comes to hot drinks. I love my Moroccan Mint Tea at Coffe Bean but I open the cup and wait a half hour for it to turn lukewarm before drinking. I love the smell of coffee but the taste makes me nauseous.

    Once, a long time ago at the end of the night, a girl asked me up to her apartment for some “coffee”. I was taken by surprise and blurted out, “uhhh, sorry but I don’t drink hot liquids.” This was followed by a very awkward silence.

    That was one of my lowest moments in overall smoothness.

  10. Wha?? As an honorary south Indian, I’m ghana take issue with that statement.

    I’m all for Tea.

  11. “uhhh, sorry but I don’t drink hot liquids.”

    Abhi don’t take it to heart – we’ve all been there man! 🙂

  12. Indian tea is a legacy of British rule in India. As such, it runs contrary to mutinous sentiments – sepoy, sepia, or otherwise.

    As an official drink, I propose the mango shake.

  13. or Mango Lassi.

    Mango Lassi!! Nobody in India drinks Mango Lassi. Its found only in Indian restaurants in US. Its like fortune cookies…. people always associate it with Chinese food. They don’t give any fortune cookies in China. Chinese restauratns in India serve “American Chopsuey”! You won’t find that in US.

  14. Their website cites ingredients as “Spike of chocolate and a creamy shot of milk” Is this coffee or a cocktail? Sriram, i think someone at the table behind us ordered a coffee, so technically, your statement does have something to do with this topic.

  15. Mango Lassi!! Nobody in India drinks Mango Lassi. Its found only in Indian restaurants in US.

    Not true. I’ve had mango lassi at several places in Rajasthan. I think there’s also a stall below a medieval archway somewhere in Jodhpur which is very famous for their flavoured lassis (I had a mango lassi there about ten years ago).

    Anyway, I think the official Sepia Mutiny drink should be the plain old creamy lassi. Because some people prefer it sweet or salty, know what I mean ?

  16. Anyway, I think the official Sepia Mutiny drink should be the plain old creamy lassi. Because some people prefer it sweet or salty, know what I mean ?

    Jai, I can second that emotion. I would like to submit for reconsideration, however, the mango aspect vis-a-vis the introduction of the indian mango to the US market. There might be something very symbolic, and even powerful, of mutineers outside of India drinking lassi mixed with the imported fruit of their native land.

  17. Once, a long time ago at the end of the night, a girl asked me up to her apartment for some “coffee”. I was taken by surprise and blurted out, “uhhh, sorry but I don’t drink hot liquids.” This was followed by a very awkward silence.

    This proves it. There is at least a little bit of Costanza in all of us.

  18. Thekingsingh,

    You could have a mango flavoured (orange-tinted) lassi for the harcore saffronists. You could have a pistachio (or mint) flavoured green-tinted lassi for the hardcore Islamists. You could have a whisky-infused lassi for the hardcore Punjabis.

    And a plain white lassi for those who don’t give a damn about the colour as long as it tastes nice (I must stop these double-meaning dialogues before all the women on SM stop talking to me completely).

  19. Once, a long time ago at the end of the night, a girl asked me up to her apartment for some “coffee”. I was taken by surprise and blurted out, “uhhh, sorry but I don’t drink hot liquids.” This was followed by a very awkward silence.

    You goofball.

    Hope you have learned your lesson.

  20. Indian tea is a legacy of British rule in India. As such, it runs contrary to mutinous sentiments – sepoy, sepia, or otherwise. As an official drink, I propose the mango shake.

    As an alternative, I guess one could also propose coconut juice or sugarcane juice. Both hardcore desi drinks.

    Or “nimbu sherbet”.

  21. My grandfather grew coffee beans

    Mine too… God bless his soul. I distinctly remember drinking weak black coffee as a 3-4 year old, wearing just a ” konakam” ( the original South Indian loin cloth), just like my Grandpa :-)in Kottayam.

    I still love my coffee, these days it is Starbucks though…decaf.

  22. How come the bottle is not sepia? And only 6.2 fl. oz? That’s the size of an alcoholic drink, not a soft drink. When a country starts to lose its global dominance, marketing is usually the first thing to go.

  23. I would have suggested ‘Chaash’ but I think thats a version of Lassi that only Gujus drink. I quite like the idea of ‘thandaai’ as well. I have had that in Bhuj, Kutch (very uncosmopolitan) numerous times.

  24. I guess one could also propose coconut juice or sugarcane juice. Both hardcore desi drinks.

    Um… Toddy? =D

  25. OK you lassi drinkers here’s a suggestion from a lush wannabe (I love lassi too). How about the official SM drink be a Mango Martini? Like SM it’s a blend of the east and the west with a kick!

  26. Jai – “Ganne ka ras” (sugarcane juice) is also a good choice. Nimbu sherbet (shikanji) used to be my fav in summers.

  27. I would have suggested ‘Chaash’

    Whoooop whoooop, Msichana, I second chaash. Mmmm salty, cool goodness.

    Also I would like to nominate goti wadi soda, which comes in a glass bottle with a big marble in the neck that gets popped before adding salty masala and lime/lemon. Not sure if this is just a Guju pan stall thing…the goti is essential.

    For the after-hours crowd (or afternoon crowd, depending…) Toddy, Arrack, Feni to make your gut bleed. If you like to think of yourself as a classy person there’s always McDowells whisky “Mera No.1” 🙂

  28. Neha:

    Also I would like to nominate goti wadi soda….Not sure if this is just a Guju pan stall thing…the goti is essential.

    Its quite common in North India. Its called “banta” or “kancha” in UP/Delhi.

  29. Mango Lassi!! Nobody in India drinks Mango Lassi. Its found only in Indian restaurants in US. Its like fortune cookies…. people always associate it with Chinese food. They don’t give any fortune cookies in China. Chinese restauratns in India serve “American Chopsuey”! You won’t find that in US.

    they sell it here in gallons.

    if sepia really wants to have an official beverage, it should be JAL-JEERA or that paani from panipuri

  30. Its quite common in North India. Its called “banta” or “kancha” in UP/Delhi.

    oh man those were good and the cheapest out of all

  31. if sepia really wants to have an official beverage, it should be JAL-JEERA or that paani from panipuri

    Jal Jeera makes more sense…why would you want to drink that panipuri paani though? The ‘sanchar’ in it is ghastly. Unless you’re talking about imlee juice.

    You guys are evil..I am craving nimbu paani, chaash and paani puri now.

  32. Any Thums Up fans? Jai, the lassi in both Jaipur and Jodhpur is delicious. Have you ever tried the little kulfis they sell out there on the streets? 10 rupees of pure bliss.

  33. You guys are evil..I am craving nimbu paani, chaash and paani puri now.

    I drink it everyday 3 times a day no kidding. Fot these hot days it’s fantastic. I actually make it out of store bought Axelrod Buttermilk. 🙂

  34. oh please, Jeet! Not Jal-Jeera!! Anything but that. Despite my family formerly having ties to the tea gardens, I second the nomination for lassi. Plain. Salt or Sweet. Bas.

    Either that or a Rooh-Afza cocktail.

  35. “chaash” I guess we call it by a slighty different name..”chhach”/mattha.

  36. Blech. I like Lassi about as much as coffee. I propose Coconut water like the street vendors in Ahmedabad sell.

  37. if we’re going to be able to continue producing spelling bee and science contest champs (and future soccer stars), i suggest elaichi flavored horlicks – hot or cold 🙂

    speaking of chai, has anyone here been able to find a decent decaf tea brand in the u.s.? i just tried twinings decaf, and though better than red rose and lipton (ugh!) it still tasted like hot water with a spot of milk, a favorite in asterix’s time.

  38. Abhi, no hot beverages, no lassi… Shall we ask Yo Dad to ring in as to whether or not you were always such a picky eater? 😉

  39. whether or not you were always such a picky eater?

    I am not a picky eater but I am a picky drinker 🙂 I also don’t drink soda. I do like my boba occasionally.

  40. why would you want to drink that panipuri paani though? The ‘sanchar’ in it is ghastly. Unless you’re talking about imlee juice.

    i dont know what sanchar is but the paani byitself used to be pretty good in Delhi or Mumbai. I had JAL-Jeeratini the other day, it was disgusting. Somethings should be just left as they are and not fused

    anybody remember Gold Spot or Rim-Zim?oo Uncle-Chips

    DD i am with you on Rooh-Afza cocktail or Roofafza in milk

  41. What about Rasna? Water, sugar, and a healthy dose of dye. Can’t go wrong with that. I love you Rasna. Especially with Lijjat papad on the side.

    Either that or a Rooh-Afza cocktail.

    YES PLEASE, DD.

  42. Thumbs Up all the way, baby!

    and what about every auntie’s favourite…..Roohafza! (rose syrup, milk etc)

  43. Kickapoo, named after those other indians – kill two birds with one stone.

  44. Whose God…, I like the Tazo chai and it comes in decaf. You have to kind of work with it though, like I always add elaichi to it before adding the milk. Otherwise it ends up tasting too “cinamonny”. You also have to ignore all the “tea helps you achieve nirvana” stuff on the box. Oh, and I think there’s this one company that has darjeeling decaf. It might be twinings, it’s whatever company that has like forty billion different varieties (like lemon calm and mint bliss and English breakfast etc. etc.). No, it starts with a B. Anyway, there is a darjeeling decaf out there and I remember it being good if you boil the crap out of it.

  45. Rooh-Afza, Rasna..o the good old days.

    Thums-Up is my fav cola drink..much better than Coke/Pepsi. Gold Spot, Limca, Campa Cola were great too. Binnies Chips (pudina flavor) were better than Uncle Chips 🙂

  46. hmmm. I might have to experiment with this. Rooh-Afza, vodka, and maybe just a splash of lime or lemon juice for some tartness… maybe 2 drops of cranberry juice instead…

    I’ll get back to you…