Ladies: Sure our bras can push-in, push-up and push-out…create curves and decolletage where there might not have been otherwise…support us steadfastly through athletic events, bad days at work and first dates alike…and, by sheer ergonomic design, make us sinfully sexy seductresses in the crucial moments when it matters most but, as ever-prepared, forward-thinking members of the Mutiny, let’s get down to brass tacks — what can it really do to help advance our studies?

Just ask Ashish, a telecommunications graduate from India’s Pune University. He was caught cheating on his final-year exam – he diagrammed an elaborate electronic circuit on the underside of his calculator – and kicked out. But he returned and passed the next term, and freely admits to cheating on most tests at university.

“Cheating sounds too grave,” he says, insisting that his family name not be printed. “Everyone does it.” He has written formulas on his ruler and smuggled notes up his sleeves and inside his shoes. Women have it easier, he claims, as modesty affords protection. “If I were a woman, I’d try smuggling them in my bra,” he says.

LINK

I find this great for several reasons. For starters, I think we can all agree that Ashish of TheNoSurnamePeople is probably not winning too many popularity contests over at Pune U — and to that end has not seen too many bras in his day — but I have to applaud him for managing to make his slide-rule nerd status international by granting this interview to the Christian Science Monitor instead of the Pune University Pioneer.

(And not to totally channel my mom here BUT) I think we can also all agree that at this point Ashish has spent more time thinking about ways to cheat than he has actually studying. That those ways include contemplating some kind of transgender existence is just saffron on the payasam.

And while I wonder a seemingly endless list of other things (When Ashish says “in my bra” does he mean the notes, actual formulas or rulers with the answers written on the underside? Has Ashish ever seen an actual woman wearing a bra? Does he think bras have a sort of Mary Poppins bottomless-purse quality? How exactly has he envisioned the cheating to play out — practical or pornographic? Has he not considered how suspicious it might look to feel yourself up in search of “the answers” in the middle of a lecture hall? And if, one day, when some poor woman doesn’t know why Ashish can’t “handle” second base as deftly as she’d like him to, will she be directed to this article?), I have to ask:

Can’t people just program equations into scientific calculators anymore? Is that not an option?