Spring has long sprung and like several of you, I was at a wedding last weekend. ‘Tis the season for bridal registries, trips out-of-town and getting faded on Black at receptions (via trunk bar or open, natch). Even though it has almost been a week since I saw a priest recite ancient exhortations at the Cathedral of the Incarnation, I’m still very marriage-minded on this Friday. You would be too, if you had been at an Orthodox ceremony; I had several hours to ponder tradition, obligation and tying the knot (both literally and figuratively).
Then there’s the Mutiny’s role in keeping the vedding bells ringing in my head; I had read the “Modern Love” essay penned by Sarita James when it came out, but Amardeep’s post from earlier today prompted me to visit it again, since I knew it would be a hot topic (I predict 300+ comments). It’s mildly amusing to me that the one issue which can bring this entire community together/rouse lurkers from their anonymity/stir up so much drama is marriage. Not politics, not Arundhati, not spelling. Marriage. It’s a testament to how much angst and weirdness we all feel about this rite of passage, that whenever we feature a post like this latest, every F5 will bring you a brand new comment.
While we already had a Friday nanofiction orgy which featured a few 55-word biodatas, I think that the time is right to “go there” again. We haven’t 55’d in a while, might as well get reacquainted via a subject which inspires all of us to say something. As always, you may flash us with fiction about whatever you wish, just be kind enough to leave your words (or a link to them) in the comments below. I know, I usually name our 55Fridays after music I listened to in college, but no wedding reception is official until you’ve played Frank (though to be clear, the couple I just celebrated with danced to U2’s highly awesome “With or Without You”.) What are you waiting for? Nanofiction, already.
Hey, Arundhati might have prevailed a little more if that thread hadn’t been summarily axed 🙂 (I do sort of understand why that needed to be done, though)…my big regret is that the last word we got to hear – just before Abhi- was a paranoid rant.
But not to derail this post. Hmmm, Anna, I used to be married to exactually what your parents are looking for …tall Christian Mallu with vestern upbringing and MA degree :)…
I was 30. “Oh no! Time is running out! if I hesitate now, they’ll all be gone.” So we got engaged. And then — 450 wedding attendees, 4 toasts, one cake, one extra India reception, five years, and countless arguments and tears later — we are divorced.
And now IÂ’m 35. “Oh no! Time is running out….”
[thanks to anna and ak for inspiring the thought]
This seems to be morphing into the 55Divorce edition. Anyhoo, always a good thing to keep in mind while contemplatin’ the loue ‘n marriage thoughts…
Evil Finkie
Number Six
You’re free and whole and happy, girl! Enjoy the good times while they last, time a-plenty to tie the knot later :).
They won’t all be gone, with the divorce rate what it is 😉 theres new possibilties being ‘factured all the time…
I’d much rather discuss your musical tastes (which are spot on!) than marriage (what more can anyone say about marriage that hasn’t been said before?)…any more marriage discussions and this Monkey will Not be going to Heaven (Black Francis)
Finkie — Wait, that’s only 45 words….?
— Six
My mom cries whenever I tell her I will never get married, but its my life. Marriages fail way to often for me to think that I am one of the smart ones that will find “the one” and everything will be fine. 74% of people in America are divorced and dont think Indians are above this, because I know alot of Indians that end up divorced.
Feminism killed marriage.
45 words too many, I’m thinkin’ Anna’s thinkin’…that F-ing Nottle et al derailing my Friday55 like that… Sorry 🙂
Love will come after marriage.
The mantra echoed in their ears.
Love will come after marriage.
Yet their parents had never experienced this themselves.
Love will come after marriage.
A game of Russian Roulette with the young couple’s hearts.
I loved and lost before marriage, thought Raj, as he put the garland around her neck.
oooh, nice, Jai.
“Feminism killed marriage”
Okay, I’ll bite…Care to elaborate on the above statement though I think I know where you’re going with this but think you are absolutely, patently wrong (and I’m a guy).
For the Goodness Gracious Me fans:
“HeÂ’s a good boy, good values, highly educated; his mother says heÂ’s very attentive and dutiful. She says he sends so much money home to the family and paid for his sisterÂ’s entire wedding!” Mummy glowed as she told me.
I couldn’t help snickering as I thought, “yeah, but what about his danda?”
OMG, that’s hilarious!!!!
Thanks shawty. And here is my entry.
ItÂ’s the ultimate monument to love. I thought that was the Taj. Brahminical raised eyebrow indicating disgust at banality No. ItÂ’s Falling Water. A perpetual motion machine. Frozen on a Postcard. Internally unsound, outwardly preserved. Are you going to finish your samwich? Wot?….IÂ’m not sure where IÂ’m supposed to be now. Okay, but what does this have to do with tomorrow?
He wears a blood stained apron, cleaving pieces of halal meat. My pupils dilate at his visage. I want to grab my mother’s dupata, and whisper, “Arrange my marriage to him.” But, it’s a sin to take a man as partner, when Allah has made women for me. Instead, I remind her to buy achar.
Dutty BB – that’s hard to follow! But here goes…
“Did I tell you that Sajit and his wife had the baby? She’s so beautiful,” I relay to my mother. We’re sitting in a café in Soho, after an argument-less day spent shopping for things one would normally get from a bridal registry. “When are you going to give me grandchildren?” is all she asks.
Tamasha, I think the key is this line
Nice one DuttyBB
Marriage. Love, arranged, whatever. As long as it worked out. But then, if only…
The partygoers hushed, eager to see what the newly arrived bride brought her husband for his birthday.
Tahir opened the card and read aloud the inscription.
“Talaaq… talaaq… talaaq.”
Jubilant faces turned to shock, stunned at Tahir’s inadvertent pronouncement of divorce – but not Ameena’s, whose emerging smirk finally revealed the ruse that was this marriage.
I meant “a hard act to follow” not “difficult to understand.”
My bad.
The song was ringing in my head, And then it hit that key line that always got me buzzing and afraid. . . . I tell myself that life wasn’t meant to be prescripted, perhaps because that’s the only way I can deal when it goes off the tracks. I’m just not quite ready to pick it up.
“I’ve always dreamt of the perfect pearly white wedding gown. With a long train. Haven’t you?” She said confidently, as
we, SHE bargain shopped at DavidÂ’s Bridal.Hesitantly, “Not reallyÂ…IÂ’ve always thought IÂ’d be married in a red and gold sari…”
Incredulously, “Really?!? Not white???”
“Really…” I replied whimsically, while dodging brides-to-be fighting for perfect dresses.
He sits beside her, saying nothing. Nothing needs to be said. Their solitude is complete; there are no obstacles to this moment. From now, no matter what happens, this happiness will never fully disappear. The clouds of the season share the sky with blue. In such a place, there is no more need for tears.
Cereal Killer of the people full of treppedition. One last kill and he retiring because he getting married tomorrow. Mother saying bride beautiful, so one last killing and beginning new life. Beautiful lady alone in room. He sneaking in and making effortless killing. Next morning his mother tell him, “your would-be wife is a murdered!”
marriage, not weddings, y’all.
looking back on the marriage, turning it this way and that, she found it had been short, yet had taken a huge chunk of time out of her life! A tangle of memories, happy and horrible, but mainly, now, it was over. Three weddings here and there, but just one divorce to close the matter.
Ranjha rocked back and forth, his grief overpowering him and threatening to shatter his mind. He held Heer’s body tightly in his arms, trying to will her back to life.
And yet…..one hope remained…..
Angels wept as they prepared to reunite Ranjha with his eternal bride. A widower on Earth, a husband forever in Paradise.
The TIE Fighter hovered silently in deep space.
Vader’s commitment to this yearly ritual was unwavering. The oath he had taken upon learning of his wife’s death demanded nothing less. He was a man of his word.
Lighting a single candle on top of the control panel before him, he watched the flame flickering gently.
It cast a warm, golden glow in the darkness of the black cockpit.
The metaphor was not lost on him.
Vader finally allowed himself to feel the wrenching pain in his heart again, all too familiar to him now; normally buried, to protect his own sanity as much as to prevent any sign of weakness.
He was alone in the craft, deliberately taken as far away as possible from the corrosive influence of Palpatine, but Vader was still grateful for the mask hiding the tears now flowing freely.
Only his uncharacteristically ragged mechanical breathing revealed anything, on this, the anniversary of the day he had felt truly alive. Their anniversary.
“When it will be your turn?”
At twenty-two, the question made her laugh. At twenty-six, it made her smile. When she turned thirty, the aunties stopped asking. Apparently, her sell-by date had come and gone.
Love happens when you least expect it, they said. SheÂ’d stopped expecting it at thirty-two and was still waiting.
wow! holy condescending, Batman! talk about pissing all over the several dozen people who bared their collective soul across a 180 comment thread!
can you help me understand, again, the “mildly amusing” part?
more like, “holy overreacting, batman!” are you really going to accuse me, the only mutineer who stuck up for kaavya, of being too harsh?
A N N A –
you’re probably right – i do tend to overreact, in general. my apologies. i just felt that you came across as being a bit haughty, not harsh.
you know …walks like a duck and talks like a duck, and well …
anna- boy do I love getting faded with you =) hehe i love that pic!
AC,
Anna is actually right. There have been a number of marriage/relationship-related discussion topics previously on SM (several before you joined us, unless you’re a long-time lurker), and they always trigger an avalanche of anecdotes and war-stories, along with giving people an opportunity to “vent”.
Personally, I found Anna’s comment on this matter to be amusing too, because exactly the same thought went through my own mind, especially when message after message was rapidly posted on the new thread by desis everywhere.
Also, she is a genuinely nice person so I think you may indeed have accidentally misinterpreted what she said; from what I’ve gathered of her personality based on her frequent posts here on SM (and her blog), I very much doubt she’s the condescending/sneering type.
Anyway, I found your own story on the other thread to be highly entertaining — you write extremely well — and I agree with the thoughts of several other commenters in response. I’ve found your occasional posts detailing your own experiences to be superb reading material, along with being wryly familiar too (as they focus on situations many Indians can relate to).
You should definitely add such anecdotes to your own blog or even write a book — hell, I’d buy it 😉
I canÂ’t remember how I ever managed to dress myself before we got married.
We entered the mandir and I looked for the bar, Sonia joined the bridesmaids and they all reminisced about college. I looked up and saw the bride staring at me.
You never get over your first love.
It’s a shame the “Arranged Marriage” thread took such an off-topic course and had to be shut down — it was proving to be an interesting dicussion before the MoorNam/SpoorLam controversy, and there were also a couple of things I’d wanted to say to MC regarding the traumatic period she’s currently experiencing. Oh well.
Anyway, here’s my final 55 on the “Love and Marriage” theme:
Kapil slept soundly on his wedding night, lying next to his beautiful trophy wife. The experience had been magnificent, mind-blowing. All of his plotting, ruthlessness, and manipulation had finally paid off. A testament to his ingenuity, belying his outward humbleness.
“Vijay…..should have been you…..so sorry…..”
Kapil stared silently at the ceiling, wide-awake now.
MoorNam/SpoorLam/Saffron Afro
Whatever you call yourself. I know you are lurking somewhere in this cyberspace. Reveeeaaal thy identity.
Hi Anna,
What’s going on with MC’s post ? She just submitted quite a long message detailing all the hassle she’s suffering (and her boyfriend’s also now involved with SM’s discussion on the matter), and it was almost immediately removed from this thread.
She’s obviously still going through hell and needs some further feedback from the rest of us — there must be something we can do. Maybe re-open the arranged marriage thread and ensure that it’s moderated strictly enough to prevent another MoorNam/SpoorLam diversion ? Or perhaps another new (but related) discussion thread altogether ?
I don’t think we should leave her hanging like this.
aww..Jai, you’re really sweet…
perhaps advice on my relationship is not appropriate for sm 🙁
That’s just it– it was VERY long and it wasn’t a 55.
If she wants to continue this dialogue, she should exchange emails with a few of you; her situation is personal enough that it merits a more respectful space for discussion than a comment thread which has been hijacked and transformed in to a chat room.
I agree SM Intern.
Thanks for ur discretion.:)
Your handle is long too. Mochalatte Chiquitita, chiki chiki chiki, coochie coochie coochie….. Seriously
Crimemaster gogo,(cg)
i appreciate the criticism (i’m not sure if you were taking a stab at me or being friendly), however if my name was antharavarnam sinthuramathurapilingam, would you tell me my name that I was given at birth was too long?
Most people just use initials if they don’t want to write the name… and its the name I chose coz it came to mind…a mochalatte is brown, and i’m a girl so chiquitita…to each their own right? Or is there some rule on SM i don’t know about being new that our names should be short…Ur name is just as long (my name is 20 letters and urs is 15 letters long..not much shorter)…and if you have troubles with mine, you don’t have to use my name.
Thats an awesome name. I wish I had that name, but unfortunately my parents Mogambo and Daku Hasina named me Crimemaster Gogo.
Mochalatte Chiquitita,
In the interests of not wishing to hijack this thread I will try to keep the following as brief as possible. Hopefully the SM moderators will bear with me on this occasion and will let me post this as a one-off, considering what’s at stake in your life.
Anyway, these are just my thoughts, so I hope it’s been helpful to you. In the end, it’s your life, so it’s up to you to decide what to do and, hopefully, make the right decision.
I wish you the very best of luck and hope everything works out for you and your boyfriend.
Warm regards, Jai
Anna, SM Intern etc – Apologies for the diversion. Back to the 55s…..
Jai Now you have to do panch phifty phives on this thread to make up for this…
Come on, get down to it :)!
Ms Fink Nottle,
I already think I usually post a disproportionate number of 55s as it is, but if there is enough public demand I’ll think up a few more 😉
sorry I’ve been absent from these 55-fests…here are mine:
The Key The perfect couple they were. Thirty years, three happily married, well adjusted children, and numerous grandchildren attested to the fact that they never fought, not really anyway, were always together, traveling the world, and were still quite in love.
When asked the secret to her marriage, she smiled and said, “We make good travel companions.”
Jealousy Rumor has it that she had a sway to her hips, a lilt to her voice, a presence about her. She clung to corners of the mind, invoking visions of nirvana to be found within her that made her near impossible to forget.
I just wish my wife would leave her memory behind for me.
(second one a repeat, but I lowe it so I reposted…)
Jai, you’re just massively lucky that ANNA has a soft spot for you the size of Punjab (nb: she had it before you stood up for her on this very thread). No one else would’ve gotten avay vith it. 😉