I don’t know about you, but my attention next month will turn to Germany, host of this year’s football – yeah, yeah, soccer – World Cup. The 32-team tournament kicks off June 9 with Germany vs. Costa Rica; the final is a month later. To succeed Brazil as world champions, the bookies favor the Brazilians themselves, at 9/4. Argentina and Germany follow at 7/1. Asia’s four entries get little respect: Japan and Korea are at 150/1, Iran at 250/1, and should Saudi Arabia win it all, you’d pocket 500 times your bet.
Oh. You were looking for a desi angle?
Well, there barely is one – no thanks to the South Asian teams, which lived down to their reputation as doormats in the Asia qualifying rounds. India got a 6-0 spanking from Japan and lost 5-1 to Oman. At least it had one win, against Singapore; the same cannot be said of Sri Lanka or the Maldives, which finished last in their groups. Pakistan didn’t even make the group stage, falling by a total 6-0 in a playoff against Kyrgyzstan.
Yet despite this abysmal performance, you can be sure that TV screens across South Asia will be bursting with football. And fans seeking a tiny taste of sepia glory will be rooting at least in part for France, which fields the competition’s only desi. Standing a mighty 5’6” and weighing in at 140 lbs., midfielder Vikash Dhorasoo is our Great Brown Hope. As the photo shows, Vikash doesn’t just have a desi body; he’s also one desi-looking dude. In authentic desi fashion, he and his siblings alliterate: Vironi, Vipin, Vishna. The family come from Andhra Pradesh, by way of the sugar plantations of Mauritius. Vikash was born and raised in the unprepossessing French port of Le Havre. He played for the local club before finding glory at Bordeaux, Lyon (where he twice won the French championship), AC Milan, and currently Paris St.-Germain, for whom he scored the winning goal in this year’s French Cup final against arch-rivals Marseille.
Vikash is an interesting brother. He enjoyed math (of course) in high school and started university in economics before committing to professional football. Married with children, he leads a quiet life, dislikes television, listens to music. (Apparently Bloc Party are a recent fave.) HeÂ’s a sponsor of a Paris gay football league, which has earned him scorn from the more ignorant supporters. As a player, he uses his small size and low center of gravity to execute nimble, precise moves. An attacking midfielder, his main responsibility is quick runs and pure passes that set up goals.
Mauritian bulletin boards reveal some discontent toward their native son, supposedly for having disparaged the Mauritius national team, and certainly because he chose to play for France rather than the island. (Mauritius, incidentally, narrowly missed pulling off a major upset in its playoff against Uganda for a spot in the African qualifying rounds, losing 3-0 in Kampala but winning 3-1 at Curepipe, for a heartbreaking tally of 4-3.) No such qualms in the Indian press (thanks, tipster 3rd Eye). In any event: Bonne chance, mon frère Vikash; allez, allez, allez!
Vikash is definitely an international quality player, but it is too bad he has to try and fill in for Zidane (if he makes the starting 11). The fact he is originally from Mauritius is not unusual; more than half the players on the French national team were born outside France, mostly from former colonies in Africa. There are a couple South Asians in the English Leagues; but it’s pretty ridiculous that a country of our size can’t beat Oman. We need to stop spending every cent on cricket and try to develop ourselves a respectable team.
india playing cricket in the beautiful west indies from tomorrow and the World Cup (a real world series!) in a few weeks! life is good (except for arsenal).
Nicely done, Siddhartha! I need to get my hands on a Dhorasoo jersey.
awesome! this year’s Cup will be sweet. france had an entertaining team 8 years ago, i love their team. last time’s fav was Senegal. blap blap third world! totally stoked. great post. we need some good old fashion soul stirring international good times right about now. Team USA is pretty kick-ass too
Married with children? He looks about 15 in that picture.
Did I sense a Arsenal fan..? Who are the FC champions.. erhmm 😀
Well, in the picutre he does look like Kele Okereke a wee bit. Great, now I’ve ‘Banquet’ playing in my head.
This is not the photo you’re looking for.
God save the queen! Three Lions! Go African teams! Go Iran! Go Portugal (sorry, Chelsea supporter ;)) I can’t wait, 21 days till kickoff and 1 month vacation from all things menial- including family!
May the Weimar Republic collapse. And the Gauls.
Btw, in the Premiership, there’s Michael Chopra for Newcastle United and I think that’s it. Harpal Singh was in the Leeds squad when Leeds was in the EPL but now he’s with Stockport County.
I too think it’s a disgrace that India is atrocious at football. It’s a game that Indians have the requisite speed and size for to be much better than we currently are. Then again, India should be far better in tennis too. As a sporting nation, we have been disgraceful but I think times are a changing…
Seeing that we are generally a small people, we are closed off from sports that require tall people with long body lengths: basketball, swimming, etc. Soccer is a fantastic option for teeny Desis, you can definately put your small size to use. Actually, smallness is an advantage. I myself, who does not pass the 5 ft. mark, was one Fast Ass Desi, as my baptismal name on the soccer field, “Speedy Gonzalez”, testified.
I think that it is high time that Desi talent is recognized in sports other than cricket. As I’ve stated, soccer is one sport where a Desi can make his/her smallness work, outmaneuvering tall and heavier people whose moves are more lethargic and cumbersome compared to the quickness of a small and agile player. Desi parents should start sending their kids to soccer camps– I’m telling you, soccer is the hope for Brown People.
manish–thanks for the pic.. he’s HOT ahh… 10 friends/brother of mine are flying out for the final game of the world cup.. germany, autobahn, beer, football, crazy people.. amazing times. damn them.
chick pea, i feel your pain. i was going to go to three first-round games, had tickets and everything, but circumstances prevent me from going in the end. a bunch of friends and acquaintances are going. i’ll have to console myself by watching matches in bars and coffeeshops of the appropriate nationalities around new york city. which should be fun in itself.
i’ll be posting again about the world cup… i got a couple more desi angles/non-angles up my sleeve.
peace
siddharth: ahh.. i wish you could’ve gone.. i was offered a trip, but the thing is i have exams (aka boards for residency–HELL on earth..)…so I won’t be watching at all, rather hitting my head against some library wall screaming ‘why, why why?’.. i’ll be catching up online… however, i will make sure my compadres all have their faces painted well and strong, as I did going to the Rose Bowl this year… I guess I had my fun then…
Come on ENGLAND!!!!!!!
i’ll have to console myself by watching matches in bars and coffeeshops of the appropriate nationalities around new york city. which should be fun in itself.
Man! Sounds like a lot of fun. I need to move to NYC.
the obsession for cricket in India has killed off almost all other sports bar perhaps Tennis (thanks to Sania Mirza – ohh la la).
“Did I sense a Arsenal fan..? Who are the FC champions.. erhmm :D”
a converted fan via a friend. he took the loss a lot worse!
OMG!! Desi in the world cup finals ??? I cant believe this. Wow!!! I usually watch most later round matches on TV and I love it. Last time US-Mexico match was the highlight, for me atleast, as I had a bet with a freind at work. I know who I am going to root for this time around !!! Go Vikash !!!!
Make it happen already, IllHindu. New York awaits your arrival! I figure we gotta hit the Brazilian place, maybe catch something in Francophone Harlem also.
I presume you’re backing Les Bleus? With Le Roi Henry in form, they certainly should go far. But I say watch out for Spain… So many great teams this year. Argentina, for sure. Brazil, obviously. England, potentially, if they let Gerrard and Joe Cole move freely. And Ivory Coast could give the world a nice shock.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh…I heart Vikash.
Siddhartha, thank you for bringing him into my life.
Really? Among the underdogs, my money is firmly with the South Koreans. They should definitely make it to the semis.
Are there any German sports bars in the City?
SM World Cup Meet-Up in NYC?
Football Fan, I’m in. Besides it nice having brothers to fight alongside in case things get rough in those clincher matches.
absolutely. i’m on it. stay tuned! but watch out now… we’re going deep! this is a five-borough operation!
peace
I am not a brother, but a sister. What made you think I was a guy ;)?
^^ 😀 awesome.
Dude, as long as you can hold your own in a scuffle 😉 I turned in my G.R.O.S.S. membership card way back in middle school.
You’ll have to invite some of the English mutineers – they make the best football hooligans.
oh my sweet jebus…football player + french + open minded+ desi = heaven sent
ha.
Trooping round New York City with desified futbalistas? That equals crazy delicious. All boy dudes and girl dudes totally welcome.
Siddhartha, holla at me when you hit town.
On another note, I’m deeply impressed by Vikash Dhorasoo’s support of the gay league. That takes real courage because the world of popular sports (in general) and European football (in particular) is a racist, homophobic and misogynistic one. That’s the reality. (The racism is really bad in Italy and in Eastern Europe, the homophobia and misogyny are everywhere). It’s especially impressive that he’s laid himself out on the line like that even though he’s not gay himself. Nice one, Vikash. You’re a hero.
What would the American equivalent be? Imagine Kobe Bryant sponsoring a gay basketball league.
West Ham Skinhead, consider yourself invited.
oh, yum. Now I can watch the finals with my soccer-crazed dad, although for slightly different reasons. Yeah, I’m not afraid to admit my ignorance. At least he’s got me a little interested.
Kobe could probably do it, the guy seems to be impervious to criticism. (do not want to get into the events in Colorado )
It’s especially impressive that he’s laid himself out on the line like that even though he’s not gay himself.
Not to take any credit away from Mr. Footballers listed above, but how is this known? You know how many lgbt brothers I know who are on the dl in one way or another?
technical quibble Saurav… is there such a thing as a L brother? I know a few that would resent being classified as such.
Siddhartha,
What are the chances that this cat will get in the starting line-up for France? Will he play an attacking midfield role behind the forwards? Or will he be a guy who comes on in the latter third of the match as a sparkplug? Also, where are the British Desis?
It’s just an assumption. Just like the assumption (with no basis in fact) that Saurav is not gay.
Um, that was sort of my point. Particularly given that the assumption had direct bearing on the conclusion drawn from it (“all the more impressive” and what not).
technical quibble Saurav… is there such a thing as a L brother? I know a few that would resent being classified as such.
Oy…you really want me to wade into the murky world of LGBTQTST/MSM/khoti/gender queer/Hijra/gay terminological issues here? I was using a moderately progressive but not radical generic for a large number of people with non heteronormative behaviors that gets used where i live (new york). All of these terms are kind of like “desi” or “South Asian” or “punjabi” or “Indian”–have different meanings and uses depending on who’s using them and why (funders, activists, people on the street, Americans, Indians, Pakistanis, working class, bourgie, political, personal, etc). I use LGBT as an imperfect catchall for social purposes.
With all that said, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that there’s someone who identifies as a lesbian brother, despite its seeming improbability and perhaps even logical impossibility 🙂
May I then suggest LGBT sibling? 🙂
excellent questions, moogie g. he will play the attacking midfielder role that you describe. whether he is in the line-up is likely to depend on the specific strategy for each opponent. in some configurations he will be a complement to zidane. in others, he’d probably be a substitute, and potentially the 2nd-half “joker” card. again, it’ll depend on the opposition and specific match strategy.
they are mainly missing in action. apparently the desi-brit brown hope is michael chopra, who comes off the bench sometimes for newcastle united. here’s wiki:
his parents, we learn, run a shop in gateshead.
May I then suggest LGBT sibling? 🙂
oh that’s so funny. my head is so [deleted] i thought you meant there would be men who would get upset at being categorized as lgbt rather than women who would object to being called “brothers.”
Your point’s well taken, but I refuse to say “LGBT sibling” here because I was talking about someone male-bodied. Now if you want to critique me for being too gender-conforming that’s fine, but beware where you tread(jack) 🙂
saurav,
i think that said it all. you KNOW there’s someone out there who does!
I actually knew one in college. Matter of fact, he was a lesbian and a witch (trapped in a man’s body, natch), and he was the leader of the campus Pagan Activist Network. He married a classmate of ours, a lesbian woman, also a witch.
It’s not like we discussed these things all that much (they sat at my table in the college cafeteria, the self-described “freak table”), since we were too busy doing Monty Python reenactments most of the time.
Seems unlikey that our man Dhorasoo is going to get a full match. There is hardly anyone better than Zidane in that position…….most likely if he does get a game it will be as a sub., the coach will probably want to preserve Zidane especially if Les Blues are ahead.
In our neck of the woods here I would be lucky if they show even the recorded matches. Here in the Philippines, it is all basketball or boxing and there is NO footbal fever!!! Any Filipino mutineers around??????
Been an Argentina fan since I saw Maradona play in the 86 WC, still remember that match against England!!! Hand of God or not that man could make defenders look mighty silly. And have stuck with Argentina since then, even when they played like shit in the ’90 WC. Man I was so ridiculed for supporting Argentina then. They seem to have a good team this year……..anything less than a semi final apprearance for them would be a failure. And the bookies have placed Germany among the favorites…..what the hell are they smoking!!!!!
Chick pea – good luck for your exams!!!!
for you jaan
And more power to them!
“for you jaan”
warmed the cockles for my heart………..gracias senor!!
that was a great video. what a run by maradona. better than pele? or just different?
i take it back, it’s pele
Huh? That was Diego Armando Maradona. The one and only. Comparisons are hard, but my personal top three are Zidane, Maradona and Pele.
Zizou was just a matador, a fencing master, a talent of such beauty as to make his opponents watch mesmerized. Players like Ronaldinho, in my opinion, are engaged in a flashier enterprise. Zidane had such an amazing footballing brain.