Tickle This (Stolen from the News Tab Edition)

What has happened to Indian American media culture? Just yesterday it seemed like things were going so well. Indian Americans were winning Jeopardy semifinals, patrolling the streets of Kabul, and getting cast as genetics professors with supernatural powers on network television. And there’s even talk that Indian American women are much in demand on the U.S. dating scene (the talk has been generated by journalists in India, but never mind!).

But then there was KaavyaGate, which got so big that President Bush was forced to address both Houses of Congress to condemn the evils of “Plagierrorism,” and suddenly everyone was looking at us like we’re all plagiarists. And now they’re debating requiring “Plagiarism free” biometric certification cards for all future immigrants from the Indian subcontinent with literary ambitions, and … well, people are freaked. As far as assimilation goes, the Indian American community is evidently back to ground zero square one.

tickle.jpg By contrast, folks in India seem to have a much healthier relationship to important issues like religion, plagiarism and the entertainment industry. There are now religious shrines for the ‘Visa Mata’ as well as for a pressure cooker that sacrificed its life pressure to save an army platoon from a heat-seeking missile. Both of these are clearly important facets of India’s world famous spiritual masala, which the post-eminent pop songstress Britney Spears has been known to dabble with, though she has apparently not yet heard of the obscure mystical sect called “Hinduism.”

But by far the most important thing happening in India is the government’s relentless drive to stand up for what is right in the face of pseudo-secularist cinematic sleaze. And I’m not talking about how Muslims and Christians have banded together to suppress the Indian release of The Da Vinci Code; indeed, I’m actually a little confused about why a film that shows albino priests doing sinister things is so offensive. (Personally, I find the plot a little ludicrous — I doubt many Americans will be interested in such a far-fetched story! Well, at least it’s original) No, I’m actually referring to the blasphemous piece of trash known as Tickle My Funny Bone, the story of a “naughty, bold, and sexy nun.” Thank the Visa Mata that the Censor Board is on the case to protect Indian sorta-secularism from the ravages of Bollywood Nunsploitation.

108 thoughts on “Tickle This (Stolen from the News Tab Edition)

  1. समय, समाचार और कल्पनिक लकिरें | बिता हुआ कल को आज कि सुर्खियों का नतीज़ा बना दिया |

    ओह गुरू चक दे फटटै नप दे गिल्ली |
    सुबह काव्व्या रात नू ब्रीटनी |

  2. Lavanya- We DID! He’s the guy that guest starred on Grey’s Anatomy for the episode of the one night stand where, um, he couldn’t get it uh…down. I think SM even covered it.

    I too was all over the imbd site after reading seeing that in the news tab…

  3. Hey Taz, I searched “Sendhil Ramamurthy” on the SM search engine and couldn’t find any prior SM coverage of him. I demand that A N N A write a post covering this guy and all of his wonderful attributes! 🙂 Naveen Andrews, step aside, we have a new brown hottie on prime time!

    Speaking of desi men in Hollywood, Salman Khan’s “Marigold” is due in August, and from this website it looks hella tacky.

    http://www.hyperionpictures.com/user_files/live_archive/marigold.php

  4. Taz, sorry to re-visit, but i think you may have him confused with another actor. Sukrish Bala was the dude on grey’s anatomy who couldn’t get it down, Sendhil Ramamurthy is a different guy.

  5. Sukrish Bala was the dude on grey’s anatomy who couldn’t get it down, Sendhil Ramamurthy is a different guy.

    Weird. I simply saw Sendhil’s IMBD profile had grey’s anatomy listed and I assumed it was the same guy, same episode. Seeing as how for a doctor show they NEVER have desis on it except for that one time…So technically, now there have been two desis on Grey’s! {I’m not threadjacking. But last night’s season finale was amazing!)

  6. “I find the plot a little ludicrous — I doubt many Americans will be interested in such a far-fetched story!”

    no more far-fetched than what all religions say. 🙂

    i wonder if, there are protests about “water”, if the censor board and the government will invite the groups protesting to a screening to “approve” and vet it for any elements that “hurt their sensibilities” before the movie is released. when it comes to future movies that upset some groups, will the govt. imply, as in the case of Da Vinci Code, that “mischievous elements” are behind it and the movie must be “approached cautiously?” or will the government and censor board suddenly “rediscover” their secular spine just in time for ‘water.”? should deepa mehta be worried?

    and where are the usual vocal defenders of artistic freedom in india? the azmis, roys, bhatts, mehtas who usually are not shy about speaking out for and protecting some writers and artists and filmmakers under attack from groups that want their works banned? they’ve been unusually quiet. no press releases, no condemnations. must be losing their sense of commmitment to freedom of expression:)

  7. GGK,

    सुबह काव्व्या रात नू ब्रीटनी

    What can I say? I guess I could slightly plagiarize Apache Indian:

    subeh kaavya raat nu brittani thora coke, nal whiskey ate siapa — on TV!

  8. Whose God is it Anyways: “no more far-fetched than what all religions say. :)”

    Yep!

  9. the azmis, roys, bhatts, mehtas who usually are not shy about speaking out for and protecting some writers and artists and filmmakers under attack from groups that want their works banned?

    Ennis already blogged about it. here

    The head of the Catholic Secular Forum has also issued a veiled threat / warning about the consequences of releasing the Da Vinci Code movie: here

    When one kind of secular org. has threaten spoken, that means all “seculars” have spoken.:-)) (I am sorry, I cant resist. I love that organization’s name 🙂 )

  10. And thereÂ’s even talk that Indian American women are much in demand on the U.S. dating scene (the talk has been generated by journalists in India, but never mind!).

    Oh man, The Sepia Destiny Crew would have a field day with what was written in that article…

    In general, American men perceive Indian women as being feminine, demure, sensual and family oriented. A typical Indian woman’s physical characteristics — straight hair, sharp features, petite form and lighter skin tone — are valued among other minority groups.

    Or this gem…

    Having casually dated numerous Asians, and recently, three Indians, the 33-year-old blond-haired, blue-eyed American admits he is attracted to “exotic women”.

    Friggin A. He used the “E” word. Instant ick factor.

    If it weren’t for the News Tab, how else would I have learned that as a desi-american woman I have “significant sexual capital”? Thanks Sepia Mutiny!

  11. Both of these are clearly important facets of India’s world famous spiritual masala, which the post-eminent pop songstress Britney Spears has been known to dabble with, though she has apparently not yet heard of the obscure mystical sect called “Hinduism.

    Oh dear, Britney bahenji. The mind boggles.

    And I’m not talking about how Muslims and Christians have banded together to suppress the Indian release of The Da Vinci Code;

    It’s interesting (in a somewhat disturbing way) how some non-Muslim groups in India have reacted to perceived offences against their religion(s) in the same way that some Muslim groups did in response to the Danish cartoons — “bounties” issued on the heads of the offenders, threats of violence to stop the continuation of the offensive acts, and so on. Talk about jumping on the wrong bandwagon…..

    indeed, I’m actually a little confused about why a film that shows albino priests doing sinister things is so offensive.

    Indian culture must be protected at all costs from the notion that Jesus may have been married or, even more diabolically, the idea of naughty nuns in obscure Western films.

    What would they think if they saw the old Robbie Coltrane film “Nuns on The Run” ?

  12. the idea of naughty nuns in obscure Western films.

    Actually, “Tickle my funny bone” is an Indian film, directed by a guy whose first name is Yogendra and starring (as the lead nun) an actress whose last name is Ali.

    As for nunsploitation, the most outright offensive nun film I’ve ever seen is Pedro Almodovar’s “Dark Habits”.

  13. There was an 80s film called “The Lair of the White Worm” by Ken Russell which I thought was particularly offensive to nuns.

    Anyway, I wonder what the offended Christian groups back in India would think of a now-cancelled British comedy show called Father Ted, all about a group of Catholic priests in Ireland. It was hugely popular here a few years ago — one of the all-time funniest moments was a “Xmas Special” episode, in which the hero and his friends get lost inside a huge department store, end up trapped in the lingerie department and are desparately trying to find the exit (“temptation on all sides” etc) while trying to avoid the rest of the public spotting them…..And then they turn a corner and find another group of Irish priests also “lost” in the same area 😉

    Classic stuff.

  14. Funny that the opposite could not be said. While white guys love the Indian girls at the bars (their “exotic” and a brown trophy to add to the blonde ones), white girls generally don’t give Indian guys the time of day. That means that when an Indian guy ends up dating an Indian girl, she has already slept with a few white guys. Sucks.

  15. That means that when an Indian guy ends up dating an Indian girl, she has already slept with a few white guys. Sucks.

    Yeah. Because she is impure then. And I mean, it’s not like Indian guys don’t sleep with white girls either, do they?

    What to do with the tainted Indian women? Who must be virgins and not have been known carnally by non Indian hands and tongues….shame shame shame….only Indian guys get to screw around without any hint of being spoilt by it.

  16. ^^ haha

    on another note, p’haps this is a good time to divert the thread over to a discussion of the desi-fied angles to Grey’s Anatomy? …if Meredith were desi, would she like Alex, George, Surgeon Dude whose name they don’t use enough to remember, or the Dr who’s name as a dude I can’t use (Mc something). or, if George were desi, would he be even more or less of a wuss?

  17. The question confounding desi guys is this. white girl or a white washed indian girl? I would prefer the white girl over the white washed indian girl. with the a white washed indian girl you deal with indian looks and white baggage. A perfect compromise is white looks with indian baggage. India we go for that!!! lol. jk guys, don’t take it too seriously

  18. ^^ arre

    you’re talking about a lot of our sisters, cousins and friends

    (now pls. i know there’s a Grey’s Anatomy discussion waiting to burst out. Maureen Dowd wrote about it in column in the Ny Times for crimmy sakes)

  19. In response to Bad Girl:

    I’m not sexist, works both ways. I would totally understand if an Indian girl were upset if her Indian boyfriend slept with a lot of white girls. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. Girls have my sympathy too, but since I am a guy, this is how I relate to it.

    The point is is that it sucks if the girl you’re dating and like has slept with other guys because then you have to picture her doing the nasty with them. It just rubs salt in the wound thinking it is a white dude because of the passive racism against white people our Indian parents ingrained into us during childhood. No dude wants to picture his Indian girlfriend giving some football player fraternity brother a hummer. Trust me.

  20. The point is is that it sucks if the girl you’re dating and like has slept with other guys because then you have to picture her doing the nasty with them. It just rubs salt in the wound thinking it is a white dude because of the passive racism against white people our Indian parents ingrained into us during childhood. No dude wants to picture his Indian girlfriend giving some football player fraternity brother a hummer. Trust me.

    Yeah, the slut.

    Maybe you should deal with the ‘passive racism’ your parents ingrained into you first. That is the problem, not the jealous hypocrisy and desire for Indian girls to be virgins when you meet them.

    Oh, one other thing. Presumably it’s the thought of white boys getting their tongue and hands all over our brown skin that causes you so much mental torment. Can I ask, would you feel alright about it if your girl had been gangbanging with a bunch of desi guys all her life? Or would that be OK? So it’s a race thing? Hmmmm…..

    The problem is all in your head. Deal with it. We aren’t going to stay virgins for sexual inadequate Indian guys like you anymore.

    Just so all Indian guys know, I am only referring to the above, not Indian guys in general, who I love and lust over and think are sexy and cute.

  21. Sanjay,

    white girls generally don’t give Indian guys the time of day.

    Er, they do here in the UK, especially in London. Not behaving like a narrow-minded misogynist with hypocritical double-standards towards women (regardless of whether they’re white, desi, or anything else) probably helps, of course, especially if it veers into reverse racism too. White women do pick up on these things, you know.

    It just rubs salt in the wound thinking it is a white dude because of the passive racism against white people our Indian parents ingrained into us during childhood.

    Then it’s up to the guy to “get over” the psychological baggage his parents have imposed on him, no ? We get all kinds of conditioned, brainwashed negative attitudes foisted on us by the older generation and from many aspects of Indian culture in general — it’s our responsibility to “deal with it”.

    No dude wants to picture his Indian girlfriend giving some football player fraternity brother a hummer.

    Then one has to control one’s imagination and not “picture” it at all. Focus purely on the relationship between you and the woman, and leave it at that. The same way one should behave towards any woman, regardless of whether or not she’s South Asian. At least she deserves that much respect and privacy — beyond a certain point, a woman’s previous romantic history is none of our business, especially if we’re aiming to pursue a healthy, mature relationship with her.

  22. ^^ true true. and now days everybody sleeps around, even in india

    btw i’m verklempy about the lack of Grey-talk but i’m moving on

  23. While I would much rather talk about Sendhil Ramamurthy and Grey’s Anatomy, is it really possible for desis to be “racist” against white people? Biased or prejudiced, maybe. But to be racist suggests that you’re in a position of power over the other group. Just the sociologist in me talking.

    I don’t agree with Sanjay, but I also don’t think he has to confront any “passive racism” that he has. Maybe the issue is that he feels emasculated by white men (and this applies to many men of color). I say this out of genuine curiosity, not to start a fight.

  24. The misunderstanding comes from the fact that most indian guys want to be with “indian” girls. I said most, but not all. And i think most indian girls raised in america would rather be with a “American” guys. I would say that you can generalize it to all the girls in america in that they prefer all American boys. Again the word most is the important word, i don’t mean to generalize it to the entire population. I am an indian guy who has been with non indian girls as well as indian girls. For me the difference between the two was insignificant, other than for the skin tone. But most indian girls would complain the Desi guys tend to have more traditional views about their partners. No … we are not looking for virgins who cook and clean for us. When I was with an indian girl, i did want a cultural connection, without which i didn’t see the point of the relationship(as in i might as well be with a non-indian girl).
    Do indian girls have this great sexual capital? I don’t know, personally i don’t see them having more sexual capital than any one else. The fact that a lot of indian guys prefer to go to india for marriage might actually in the long run put them in a tougher position. Simple law of supply and demand. if there are 10 guys and girls and 5 guys go back to india for marriage, that leaves 5 girls with no other alternative but to look for guys of another race.

  25. No dude wants to picture his Indian girlfriend giving some football player fraternity brother a hummer.

    And no girl wants to picture her boyfriend (Indian or white or otherwise) going down on his ex/some other girl, but shit happens, and you just deal with it. I don’t know you, and I wouldn’t want to presume to make judgments based on a few comments, so take Jai’s well-intentioned advice to heart and move on!

    Sahej: I’m all down for a huge, full-blown analysis of Grey’s Anatomy but I don’t want to threadjack…all I can say/ask is this: WTF is so great about Meredith Grey!?! And why, oh why, would Izzy risk her medical career like that?(I missed the second half of the finale so I’m clueless on how things actually ended and I refuse to kill my suspense by Googling the details!)

  26. yeah i think generally feelings of anger (i don’t think there is any other way to put it) stem more from what is referred to as “emasculation” than any “revese racism” kind of effect. “reverse racism” would imply a devaluaing of the other partner, which isn’t the case here is it? i don’t think emasculation is the right word, because it implies that men of color should strive to take up the banner of masculinity that, say, frat jocks carry. thats a pretty ugly masculinity. but, other than the over-sexualization of african american men, most men of color are under-sexualized in imaginings of popular culture. and there is often a reaction to this.

    similiarly, men who are working class can feel the same resentment. to the extent this isn’t racialized though so the volume or heat may appear lower

  27. VBSF,

    yeah i don’t want to thread jack, but usually if a thread is drifting, it meanders off-topic. but now that a discussion is being had, i guess a Grey’s Anatomy discussion is off topic. But i can’t resist one or two slip-ups;

    i don’t think there’s anything really all that special about Meredith, but the show revolves around her so it seems she’s all that. George liking her has way more to do with Georgie boy’s issues then Meredith. And i missed the early shows where Mc Doc first liked her, so i don’t know what he saw in her. but she does have a likeable vulnerability coupled with an underlying strength; you get the feeling she’s not afraid to live life and deal with the consequences.

    Izzie, was straight tripping though. but i don’t know how invested she is in her career versus being who she is. contrast with Christina who is too much about the career and not enough about being a person

    you totally have to see the end of the show though. although i thought it was a bit over-dramatic, but still, must see tv

  28. Lavanya,

    While I would much rather talk about Sendhil Ramamurthy and Grey’s Anatomy, is it really possible for desis to be “racist” against white people? Biased or prejudiced, maybe.

    I’m ok with Grey’s Anatomy, though it would be nice if there could be a Sepia component in there somehow.

    As for whether Indian Americans can be racist — strictly speaking, you’re right. But when people of color adopt exclusivist attitudes and make presumptions about non-Indians’ cultural values or sexual proclivities based purely on their ethnic background, it can be extremely hurtful, and every bit as bad as racism. Indians and other people of color do not get a free pass to propagate ignorant stereotypes!

    We’ve also seen some major flare-ups of inter-ethnic hostility (mainly emanating from certain DJs on Hip hop radio stations in Philly and New York, but it’s bigger than that). When African American DJs talk about “rat-eaters” and make songs mocking the people who died in the tsunami, that’s a kind of racism too.

    I don’t agree with Sanjay, but I also don’t think he has to confront any “passive racism” that he has.

    What bothers me in Sanjay’s comments isn’t racism but the sexist double standard.

  29. Funny that the opposite could not be said. While white guys love the Indian girls at the bars (their “exotic” and a brown trophy to add to the blonde ones), white girls generally don’t give Indian guys the time of day. That means that when an Indian guy ends up dating an Indian girl, she has already slept with a few white guys. Sucks.
    The point is is that it sucks if the girl you’re dating and like has slept with other guys because then you have to picture her doing the nasty with them. It just rubs salt in the wound thinking it is a white dude because of the passive racism against white people our Indian parents ingrained into us during childhood. No dude wants to picture his Indian girlfriend giving some football player fraternity brother a hummer. Trust me.

    It’s highly possible that with this above line of thinking you aren’t really going to land an Indian woman who’s tasted the other side because she’ll probably expect you to think of her less as a trophy and more as an equal. With your own insecurities about your race and your apparently disdain for the other, it’s baggage she probably will not want to deal with anyway. So you are safe brother. You don’t really have to worry about dating any of them sluts who’ve apparently tasted the other side. Obviously you have larger things to deal with her which I’m assuming you are seeking help for.

  30. And i think most indian girls raised in america would rather be with a “American” guys. I would say that you can generalize it to all the girls in america in that they prefer all American boys.

    I think you are making wide assumptions. All American does not spell WHITE, it simply spells someone from here.

    …is it really possible for desis to be “racist” against white people? Biased or prejudiced, maybe. But to be racist suggests that you’re in a position of power over the other group. Just the sociologist in me talking.

    Absolutely Lavanya. Racism is simply discrimination or a prejudicial attitude based on someone’s race. This applies both ways.

  31. OTH… I heard that a baby get’s it’s intelligence from it’s Momma..I hope it’s true for Senthil

  32. I heard that a baby get’s it’s intelligence from it’s Momma..

    Really? I don’t think so. I’m more like my dad – even with those talents you just have or don’t have: it’s weird how we can both draw, sing in tune, play musical instruments by ear, and other random weird shit like solving bizzarro visual puzzles, or drawing perfectly straight lines. My sis on the other hand, is more like my mom, though there are some cross-over traits. Strangely enough, I look more like my mom. Are intelligence and “talents” inheirited?? I’m curious. Who’s got a good article/link? Paging Razib (genetics loving razib, not porno loving razib, s’il-vous-plait – heh heh).

    I think you are making wide assumptions. All American does not spell WHITE, it simply spells someone from here.

    AMEN! This assumption is one of my biggest peeves ever; second only to “situation is worse in x country than in y, therefore we should be happy with situation in y country.”

  33. All American does not spell WHITE, it simply spells someone from here.

    One of my fun experiments is to use the term ‘european american’ instead of white when ever the conversation is about race/ethnic/cultural issues and watch the reaction. Oh and another thing is it has to be during lunch or dinner. I have done this 3 times and each time some one has almost choked.

  34. All American may not spell white, but “all american” seems to implicitly imply white behaviour.

    But still, why the obsession with white? Especially Sanjay, #19—I think you are out for trophy blondes, who in turn want trophy jocks, who in turn want trophy something else. No point going that route. Regular women will not particularly reject you for being desi.

    I am more interested in the “desi being racist” part of the thread. Lavanya, I did hear that racism is used in a specific sense: it implies both prejudice and the power to hit out because of that prejudice. That is what you mean, isn’t it? I would think it is possible, lots of desis are in positions of power aren’t they?

  35. I would think it is possible, lots of desis are in positions of power aren’t they?

    i KNEW there was something about the way you kept looking at me!

    PERVERT

  36. bytewords,

    if you can make explicitly implicit implications implying implications explicitly explicated, well, then i’m all for it.

    just my .02 cents.

  37. All American may not spell white, but “all american” seems to implicitly imply white behaviour.

    Who defined white behavior? Whites in the US don’t behave the same way or have the same lives or belief systems as whites in say Ukraine or Spain or South Africa. So implying that “all american” means ‘white’ is trying to give ‘white’ some kind of status that is unattainable by others. Frankly I think everyone other then Americans are always trying to define what being American is. I have learnt it is ALWAYS about a state of mind and a state of existence and very little about the color of your skin, the food you eat or the work you do.

  38. the fact that most indian guys want to be with “indian” girls. I said most, but not all. And i think most indian girls raised in america would rather be with a “American” guys.

    I think this ‘fact’ is wrong- mainly because we had the Sepia Destiny thread here which talked about how most females are looking for desi life companions, but of the “alterna-desi” variety, but there is lack of propensity….

  39. AC and JOAT,

    true, not all white populations are the same, and i realize the phrasing of my sentence may have implied that.

    so let me clarify. i never have seen the term “all american” include a trait culled from any asian group, or till recently, hispanic and african american groups either. that is what i meant by “all american implicitly implies white behaviour”, i didn’t mean to say all whites are the same. the reason may be just historic, after all till the civil rights movement the US was a virtually a white country.

    but it was a minor crib, i do believe that all in all, the US is inclusive. some terms are just hangovers and this, imo, the usual sense in which “all american” is used is one of them.

  40. Couple notes:

    Amardeep — I agree with you. I don’t think people of color have free passes to make ignorant comments. My point is that ignorance and racial bias is different from racism.

    JaneOfAllTrades — Err…I think my interpretation of racism is different from yours. Being prejudiced, while unexcusable, is one thing. Acting on that prejudice, if you’re in a position of power, constitutes racism.

    Bytewords — I can see what you’re saying. If I was a CEO and chose not to hire someone based on their race, then yes, that would be racist. On another note, I prefer not to date white boys. Does that make me racist? No, i think that means I’m just biased.

  41. And IÂ’m not talking about how Muslims and Christians have banded together to suppress the Indian release of The Da Vinci Code

    The irony is that “The Da Vinci Code” has been funded through a Muslim financier and written, directed and acted by Christians:

    THE financial backer of the film of The Da Vinci Code rushed to reassure investors last night that a planned £100 million investment was not at risk, even if the High Court were to halt the distribution of the film. Invicta Capital, a British tax specialist, insisted that money put up by the millionaires that make up its client base would be secure because Sony Pictures, the film’s producers, have pledged to return the £100 million being raised. Mohammed Yusuf, the chairman and chief executive of Invicta, said: “We’ve had a number of phone calls today from some investors checking to see if their money will be secure. Even if the copyright action against Dan Brown [The Da Vinci Code’s author] succeeds in halting the release of the film, our payments from Sony are guaranteed.” Link
  42. the fact that most indian guys want to be with “indian” girls. I said most, but not all. And i think most indian girls raised in america would rather be with a “American” guys.

    That is too broad a generalization to make. Furthermore, based on my small sampling population (i.e., brown girls I know), I would disagree that most would rather be with “American” guys. By “American,” I’m assuming you mean white?

  43. Since this thread started off of the “News” tab … I am posting my rant about “News” tab here.

    • Whats up with the obsession with Kaavya??
    • Is that the only Desi thing happening thats really matters??
    • Man, 500K is not really a lot of money . Get a grip and more importantly get a life !!!!