Ensign’s Log: Stardate 2006.4

Top down, rust willing. HQ arrival, stomach flipping.

Chevy ride, Cavalier 1996. Canuck tux locked down, toque looking gorgeous.

Maple offerings smuggled in the back seat. Curry crisps, beaver tails, India Pale Ale treats.

O ho! What’s that? Some sound is coming… No, it can’t be! Real MONKEYS hollering?!

Big one, red bum, jumps up in front of me. I freak, knees weak, try to smile friendly.

“You’re late!”, squeals bandar bhai, all crossly. “I’m sorry…The border…It is like that only!” A blindfold, walking, some climbing later…My eyes open wide in a cave-like chamber.

“Hi, I’m Neha. Sweet blogstars, you rang? Porbandar thi Dubai, via Toronto here I am!”

“Why yes” A N N A says, “We have been expecting you. Meet Abhi, Ennis, Sajit, Vinod, Manish from Mumbai in the hologram tube.”

Abhi looks serene, “Blog you must. For proof of mutiny within you, take a test you must.”

Sajit puts a record on, Vinod flexes his biceps once. Ennis hands me a familiar tutu, Manish screams “Dance, Basanti, Dance!”

I can do this……

Start shuffling my feet, throwing in random claps…”Hold up, Ms. Dixit, we were kidding, you pass.”

I look up at the voice and all I see is light. “Oh elusive Fofatlal, are you always this bright?”

“I’m anonymous, remember? Hence this mining hat. Enough about me, madam, are you ready to start?”

Gulp. Take a look at the computing machine, furiously calculating sepia deviation from the mean.

Now or never… I hope Taz is still here. Some kind of record, this, three sisters in gear.

Like Amar, Akbar, Anthony with ladies in lead. Hanji, looking forward to that estrogen steez.

Everyone is all encouraging smiles. Strange secret handshakes and enthusiastic high-fives.

Here to serve, observe, take part and express. Wut it do, Mutineers, we be in business!

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32 thoughts on “Ensign’s Log: Stardate 2006.4

  1. whee…I get to be first. Rhyme..New lady about town. Me like your stuff. Keep it coming. Good luck to you.

  2. We know your steez True indeed Without a doubt Brown and proud…

    fo shezzle my nehzzle…

  3. Done and done, thanks RoRo! I yam a meess withe spilling. We grow nice trees in B.C., I’m sending you a package right now :-P

  4. Welcome Neha Ben…the mutineers did well to bring in yet another chokri in the mix!

  5. 1st line written and i hear a hip hop reference (clipse right neha?). gotta love it…wouldn’t have expected any less.

  6. oi badmash, quit shoving me from behind…

    but seriously, when i look at the pic closely, i see a buttcrack(or may be armpit crack) in the background… is that the reason for the smile?

  7. chikdang – that’s not me. Abhi’s messin’ around with the inertial dampers again!

    dhavaak – due to the recent draconian crackdown (npi) on nudity here on the Red Mile, the link you sent over was blocked.

  8. People stop laying claim already.. may the best man win…or woman, you never know these days

  9. T’was a perfect intro.. Good luck to ya; Po’bandhar be Representin!

    Taz: redecorating the bunker pink? Golden.

  10. For that comment Pearljam fan, Im going to sacrifice a small child, hunt you down, tie you up and play my greatest hits (as well as some of my new jams). Kiss kiss.

  11. Wow, nothing like a purdy girl to make Sepia a celebration of horniness.

    Three girlies are blogging and Taz says has a crush on ten boys and two girls and red-blooded males are queueing up to ahem, appreciate Neha and then you have cica saying she fancies Neha and Neha saying she fancies rversde23 and ceepee looks like Marilyn and Abhi is Yoda and he fancies Ennis and Opal Mehta got wild and Anna thought about Neha in church and then Anna says she thinks about black crinkle skirts with blood red roses and black knee-high boots, oh and crabs.

    Seriously, what the fuck have I missed?

  12. ten boys and two girls

    LOL. I was literally sitting here and counting my fingers on that one…

    I guess you missed quite a bit!

  13. Maple offerings smuggled in the back seat. Curry crisps, beaver tails, India Pale Ale treats.

    mmmmmmmmm. beavertails…with lemon and a sprinkling of sugar. also delicious, as discovered by yours truly, with kithul syrup. mmmmm.

  14. mmm. . . beaver tails. . .

    Welcome, Neha, great opening salvo. Tarranah meetup? August? Anyone? I can flood the place with Canadian brown at the drop of a hat.

  15. dhaavak, hot damn, that’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a while. Bring waders.

  16. lol brilliant intro…looking forward to your posts neha!

    and can i add to the general clamour of Taz, Please Stay!