How NOT to prevent your sister’s marriage

You just have to wonder what the hell they must have been thinking:

Two Indian-American brothers, living in New York, made a hoax bomb call to the airport officials in a bid to prevent their sister from boarding a flight out of the city.

Authorities said Amandeep Singh, 24, and Gurpreet Singh, 26, were arrested last month on charges of telephoning airport officials and saying that terrorists had planted a bomb in the plane.

The bomb threat call was made with an intension to prevent their sister from taking off to a different US city in an attempt to marry her boyfriend, who is also an Indian immigrant. The brothers wanted the sister to marry to a doctor. [Link]

If I felt any sympathy at all for these two I lost it when I read that last sentence. However, their plan actually worked! For like a day.

Though their sister was unable to leave the city at that time, she has now married her boyfriend, according to news reports.

So what kind of unsuitable boy did the sister end up marrying then? A lawyer, a finance-type guy, an astrobiologist?

Sources said that Singh’s parents “went berserk” when their 30-year-old daughter announced she was going to marry a gas station owner.

The enraged parents set up an arranged marriage for the woman with a doctor in India, the sources said. [Link]

Ouch. There isn’t a more perfect storm I can think of that could cause Indian parents to go “berserk.”

Federal agents monitoring movement of tickets at MacArthur spotted the cancellation, and headed to Queens to question the sister. She led them to her brothers – and to other family members involved in the threat, the sources said.

The brothers face up to a year in prison if convicted of the current charges. The men, who have been in the U.S. for more than 15 years, could also face additional charges by the federal government. [Link]

47 thoughts on “How NOT to prevent your sister’s marriage

  1. There are actually a lot of wealthy desi gas station owners in the U.S. who own multiple stations, and a lot of them are Sikh.

    Maybe the fiance wasn’t Sikh, and that contributed to the opposition? Just speculating.

    But yeah, this phone in a flight threat thing is idiotic and criminal.

  2. There are actually a lot of wealthy desi gas station owners in the U.S. who own multiple stations, and a lot of them are Sikh.

    That’s what I was thinking too. This guy may end up quite wealthy if that is all that these parents care about. One of the articles says he is a mechanic.

  3. Some sources say gas station owner some sources say auto mechanic. Chances are very strong it’s gossiping desi neighbors all too keen on spreading bullshit about who the guy really is. For all intents and purposes she could have eloped with a investment banker!!

    The sad truth is that my brother knows these guys, they live on his block and I actually know of the family. I knew there was major drama going on but I had no idea. Good lord.

  4. A friend/acquaintance of mine in high school, S. was always very business minded and entrepreneurial. My pops would always regale me with yet another story how S. was doing this and doing that. S. was never really concerned with academics. His friends’ mothers used to tell him, “S. you’re not going to college??–you’re going to end up working in a gas station in a few years. ” A couple of years ago, when I was home my pops show me the front cover of one of the New York Times sections. S. was on the cover–a 25 year old multimillionaire owning a dozen gas stations in greater metropolitan region. In the picture, he was beaming; in the story he related how everyone was right…he would be working in a gas station for the rest of his life.

  5. What!?! You wanna rate them Hot or Not ?

    that’s for me two know……and they may be friends of family…so one has to check these things out.

  6. “How to marry the man of your dreams behind your brothers’ backs – a Step by Step Guide” – the next IWS article.

  7. I think Sikh community in USA is fairly well informed and amalgamated to the mainstream (unlike it is in UK or to some extent in Canada)

    Since when are Sikhs not integrated in the UK? I have a Sikh friend who did his MSc dissertation on business formation in the British Sikh community and all the social indicators are good – above average exam grades, higher than national average levels of academic University entrance, crime rates below national average, welfare claimants below national average, business formation levels high. Culturally Sikhs are prominent too, musicians, actors, journalists, writers. I think you have a bit of prejudice or ignorance there my friend. It is a shame you couldnt comment on a story like this without introducing that.

  8. “How to marry the man of your dreams behind your brothers’ backs – a Step by Step Guide” – the next IWS article.

    Sonia- I look forward to the article. While you’re at it, fill in the word “brother” with: mom, dad, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparents, other aunties and uncles

  9. OK. But its better to play safe and stay away from all Amandeeps and Gurpreets till this cools down.

    lmao! ah, too late! i already know a few of both. but, there one jagdeep to stay away from. word to the wise. ;)

    leave it to me to be the rabble rouser. one’s gotta have themselves a career to fallback on.

  10. Wow Tom – you seem to have a lot of hatred inside you. What is up my friend? Why the aggressiveness?

  11. The brothers wanted the sister to marry to a doctor.

    Ugh. Reminds me of a comment my dad made recently that went something along the lines of “one of your greatest achievements is that you married a doctor”. WTF?!?!

    [rant] So why do desi parents love doctors? What is it about this profession that makes everyone salivate? Sure there are some brilliant doctors who do marvellous and tear jerking work but there are some pretty lousy dumb ass doctors too.

    And what about all the unrecognised professionals that work in the background like research scientists developing kick ass medicine and engineers developing awesome medical equipment etc, without whom doctors would be nothing more than erm raving witch doctors!

    It’s time to revolt people. It’s time for us non-doctors to rise against the oppression! [/rant]

  12. Tom

    Like most bigots you talk like a blockhead. You made a generalising statement about how Sikhs ‘are killing their women’ in the UK. What, all of them? What the hell are you saying? I was visiting relatives in Birmingham last week and they told me about the Hindu girl who was strangled by her Hindu husband recently, it was in all the newspapers. So what does that mean, that ‘Hindus’ (an amorphous undifferentiated mass of people) are ‘killing their women’?

    Which part of this don’t you understand?

  13. I read about the progressive sikhs in UK and I read this. I am glad that Sikhs are doing well in UK but they are also killing their women.

    you’ll have this in every culture, all over. i know many people who go about being abusive, live off wlefare, do drugs, and have kids by many different people that they don’t take care of. and i’m happy to say that i only knew one bad singh, out of at least 60 or 70 some plus. sikhs are human too, and no one is perfect. but, in general, they are wonderful people, some of the most open minded, virtous people i know. and, yes…many singhs happen to be very good looking. the point is to learn from those who do wrong and not be that way yourself, and maybe to teach them better. and if you can’t do that, then leave it go.

  14. also, in the article, i see more than just sikhs inlvolved. it just proves that people of all types can do wrong. not one single type of people. oh well…

  15. Tom

    I read the article you blockheaded bigot. I live in England, my wife is a social worker dealing with these problems in a London borough, mental health problems amongst South Asian women. I know this shit happens, it happens with Hindus, Muslims and Sikhs. Which part of that don’t you understand? Which part of this can you not comprehend?

  16. this also proves its not about one certain faith, as it is people’s misguided ways of thinking, boright on by society. i know many old european women, old time jewish esepcially who suffered closer fates. there were many truths in fillder on the roof. and it doesn’ matter what stripe of person you are – be you sikh, jewish, christian, hindu, muslim, or anteater worshipper….those who do this are not staying true to their faith, and that is NOT a reflection on the faith, or shouldn’t, but instead on that person’s behaviours.

  17. In the United States sikh are more spread out and there is no one area with a major sikh population. The bay area in California has around 30,000 sikhs which may be highest any where in US. But in Canada and England there are big area with lots of sikh’s.

    Sikh honor killing still happen in Canada. Amandeep Atwal and Jaswinder Sidhu were victims of honor killing.

    I live in Canada, but have family in the US and have spend alot of time there. In my eyes it seem like that sikh’s in the U.S do a much better job of intergrating then they do here in Canada, where alot still live in 1950′s punjab

  18. I live in Vancouver, and I have spoken to leaders of the sikh community, but it’s like they don’t even care about the problem.

    2 weeks ago there was major drug bust in a house across a elementry school. The 3 men police charged with the crime were 3 young men aged 20,21,and 24 and they were all from sikh/punjabi background.

    And a judge from seattle said that half of the people that are get caught with bringing drug across the border are punjabi.

    Just don’t see anybody named Patel or Kumar getting charged. It’s always a Gill, Sidhu, Dhaliwal, Cheema or something like that.

  19. i wanted to comment but then the bigotry made it not fun. we’re just everyday people trying to do the best that we can

    anyway….marry for lowe not money

  20. I live in Vancouver, and I have spoken to leaders of the sikh community, but it’s like they don’t even care about the problem.

    PJF … this is a community problem… it isnt something that we should be embarassed about because that would imply the problem is endemic, irremediable. not so. if you are interested in making a difference I’d suggest you keep an eye open for volunteer positions at http://www.charityvillage.com . They may need language help as with the link below, or some volunteer counselling where your unique background will be invaluable. http://www.charityvillage.com/applicant/volunteer.asp?fn=view&g_varID=52824

  21. Tom

    You really are a blockheaded bigot, arrogant as only bigots can be, the rhetoric of a bigot is plain. Hindu women are murdered by their husbands in the UK. Do you extrapolate that as ‘Hindus are slaughtering their women?’ Why not? Why are you fixated on Sikhs? Give an honest and truthful answer, don’t be an evasive bigot. Thanks. I look forward to your reply.

  22. whew! it’s getting hot in here!

    on another note…

    bengali, what your dad said is seriously ill, but i think that many MANY desi parents hold that same hope in their heart – that their child will either be a doctor or marry one. better yet, both. another good example of this was some random auntie saying to my mom in a most admiring tone, “you know, night shyamalan could have been a doctor”. (apparently he was accepted to some six year medical school program) i mean, the man is a household name, and yet the MD potential still mattered.

    so what IS up with the doctor obsession? obviously for many desi parents who grew up in the subcontinent, becoming a doctor was THE greatest academic achievement one could attain and THE only surefire way to achieve economic success.maybe that’s changing, especially as the pot becomes bigger and other options open up. now there are plenty of business schools for instance. my parents tell me that respect for pursuing the arts is much higher these days in india than when they were growing up. and it seems that law, once looked down upon, is becoming a profession that young indians in india are eager to enter.

    i don’t think it’s just about money though. an investment banker makes more than a pediatrician, but i think a fair share of desis would prefer the latter to the former. there is a certain mythology around doctors, partially because they make themselves out to be demi-gods (i say this not as a doctor hater. i have two in the family and it is they who first broke down this mythology). after all, healing is something that has long been semi-magical, and for millenia, one had to seek the benevolence of the divine for good health, long life, etc.

    anyhow, good luck with the revolution. i’m with you all the way!

  23. does it really even need to be pointed out that the following groups kill their women: whites blacks east asians south asians jews europeans christians muslims hindus native americans satanists latino/as the indigenous peoples of the outback those who breathe oxygen on a regular basis.

    drop it already.

  24. The doctor-philia that is rampant among desi parents I think comes from fears of instability and diminution of family status. “We busted our ass and the thought of our kid not having a set cookie cutter future freaks us out. And what will Kamla and Rashmi say?” The 1st gens come from an environment in which your family status was almost a tangible asset, and any deviation from The Formula, or addition of “liability”, (e.g. pursuing a non-traditional career or doing something that “good kids” don’t do), reduces the value of that asset. A bigger conflict arises when some of us try to tell them that we want to pursue a career or a marriage prospect based on personal fulfillment – they tend not to get it. Not because they’re not smart, but they come from a different mindset. You didn’t get married to get emotional fulfillment, you got married because that’s what you did. Because not getting married in a society where the whole is valued over the individual, and your personal value is calculated based on your relationships to others, leaves you worthless. You didn’t pursue a career because you enjoyed it, you pursued it because the cost/benefit analysis made it out to be the best prospect, and personal fulfillment wasn’t accounted for.

  25. Yup – it’s true. Brown men are being told that if they fail to marry themselves a desi lawyer, they’ll bring shame to the family :D

    Actually, even if the concern with status becomes more even handed that wont make it any the less pernicious.

    What status does a blogger have these days amongst families. Supposing we, in the mutiny family, want to marry Abhi off. Will his blogging bring any extra attention, or is it as wasted as his trim figure?

  26. Yup – it’s true. Brown men are being told that if they fail to marry themselves a desi lawyer, they’ll bring shame to the family :D

    How exciting! More ammo to validate my career choice to my parents!

  27. In India, for example, more than 5,000 brides die annually because their dowries are considered insufficient, according to the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF). Crimes of passion, which are treated extremely leniently in Latin America, are the same thing with a different name, some rights advocates say. “In countries where Islam is practiced, they’re called honor killings, but dowry deaths and so-called crimes of passion have a similar dynamic in that the women are killed by male family members and the crimes are perceived as excusable or understandable,” said Widney Brown, advocacy director for Human Rights Watch. The practice, she said, “goes across cultures and across religions.” Complicity by other women in the family and the community strengthens the concept of women as property and the perception that violence against family members is a family and not a judicial issue. [Link]
  28. don’t worry, ennis. i hear that abhi’s trim figure and blogging are both appreciated.

  29. This thread is about two idiots who are Sikhs. IF it was about Jatts or Baniyas or Hindus I would have done the same.

    uumm…wait a sec…i thought jatts were a caste. since when did they beome a religion? i better tell some of my sardar friends the breaking news! interesting indeed.

  30. This thread is about two idiots who are Sikhs.”

    Not really- This thread is about two idiots, period.

    Tom and Socrates go get a room, or get married. If this was a movie you would be kissing passionately by now.

    ~Flamedouche!

  31. Re: The doctor fixation amongst desis

    In addition to the points already made, I can perhaps add a little more insight, since my own father is a doctor and I have therefore grown up surrounded by South Asian medics (both parents’ generation and people my age who decided to “follow the family tradition” by pursuing Medicine):

    • Status (biggest factor)
    • Steady job, traditionally regarded as guaranteed employment-for-life (obviously particularly important in places like India)
    • Greater mobility — theoretically, you can get a job as a doctor anywhere
    • Above-average income (especially in India during the pre-IT/pre-Management Consultancy/pre-Investment Banking era)
    • Requires a very high level of intelligence & academic education (again, both tied into the status factor to some extent)
    • The nature of the job obviously has a high impact on the lives of other people, ie. patients (often to life-or-death levels)
    • Also, for all of the above reasons, doctors have traditionally been regarded as optimal marriage-material, although this is less the case these days with the rise of South Asians participating in other high-earning professions.
  32. Re: The doctor fixation amongst desis

    $300,000 a year for a specialist, or more. Lawyers can do as well, if they’re willing to slave in a white-shoe law firm in the hopes that they’re one of the 5% who makes partner.

    $300,000 will (but just barely) give you enough money to fund your own kid’s wedding…to a doctor.

    Instant prestige…no need to belong to the right (as in white is right) family or have the right connections. You are respected and move to a high postion in the class system.

  33. In terms of raw earnings, I don’t think its any secret that “investment banking” makes the most. Although, the hours are horrible.

  34. In terms of raw earnings, I don’t think its any secret that “investment banking” makes the most. Although, the hours are horrible.

    Tell me about it…

    M. Nam

  35. Tom

    Slow down cockroach, I am not a sardar. I am a Hindu married to a Sikhni, born and raised in Southall. I am glad you made the assumption though, it really does bring out the truth about your bigotry, assumptions and obsessional hatred. You kind of sound like Jagdish Tytler with his testicles in a vice and chilli being rubbed up his ass.

    Now, it is scumbags like you who seek to slander entire communities, who masquerade as fearless truth tellers when really they are just moral excrement and communalists who generalise and use anything as an excuse to vent their bigotry that sidetrack the issue in hand. My wife attends to Hindu, Sikh and Muslim women. Hindu women are getting beaten, battered, set on fire, strangled and murdered every day. Hindus in Britain are in denial about alot of things – barely a yea goes by without a pundit being jailed for rape. Last month a Hindu woman was stangled to death at a University in Birmingham by her husband. Does this mean Hindus are all to blame? Well, of course not – you reserve that collective guilt for the choice of your squealing bigotry and hate. You are a hypocrite, as well as a bigot. My wife sees the mess of it everyday and lives it and she sniffed you out for a bigot too when she read your posts. To see it turn into a masturbation tool as you do you doubles the obscenity.

    Now go and put your balls in a glass of milk to calm down your rage and bigoted ranting.

  36. This is a comment board of Sepia not Doordarshan of Prasar Bharti where the news producer has to pussyfoot around the truth. Did you post the same objection when Muslim honor killings were posted ?

    no I didn’t because I didn’t notice you being a flaming prick on that post. While you get all riled up and throw poop at the bystanders, I felt the need to point out that any group of humans will have idiots in it. This thread, case in point.