Monthly Archives: January 2006

Hrithik is ALL Yours, t.

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Hirthik_1_2.jpg

While roaming about online, I came across a blog which quoted us– nothing scintillating, I know– but then I noticed the blog’s name: Beliefs, Blackness & Bollywood. The subtitle elaborates:

I talk about faith. I talk about the black experience in America. I talk about Bollywood. You’re welcome to join in.

If that weren’t enough to make me linger, I noticed that a few of her posts had irresistible titles. The finest of the bunch? “Just because you have 3 THUMBS doesn’t mean you’re not HOT…” Under THAT priceless declaration, blogger t.Hype ponders:

The question is not, “Is Hrithik hot?” The question is, “Would I scream in his face if he tried to shake my hand, or burst out crying?”

Excellent question, t. For the record, I’d probably do a triple-take if he tried to test my ex-debater grip. But then, subtlety thy name shall never be ANNA. 😉

She found the way to Bombay after a trying break-up:

It was around this time I discovered Bollywood. I suddenly found myself able to appreciate a movie like Dil Se. It is a story of heartbreak and a story of love. Melodrama aside, the film Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham impacted me deeply by the very idea that someone would ever go to such great lengths to bring their family back together. While I realize these are just films, they are based in an ideal, in a consciousness that organizes itself around love. In the words of India Arie, “I am ready for love.” At least for now I have Bollywood.

Follow her thoughts here; see her nod in agreement with erstwhile guest blogger Amardeep on the subject of unrealistic-looking Bollywood stars here. Continue reading →

Indian Maxim is out to save lives

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Several of you beginning with “Msichana” emailed us to let us know that the Indian version of Maxim has just issued its first edition with Priyanka Chopra on the cover. The BBC reports:

Don’t ever change girl…oh…you already did? Nevermind then.

Is primetime Priyanka too hot to handle? Forgive me for pondering the merits of Priyanka Chopra, the Bollywood starlet and former winner of the Miss World beauty pageant.

But this is the burning question asked of us by the inaugural Indian edition of Maxim – the British “lad mag” which has just made its sub-continental debut with a pouting Priyanka plastered across its glossy front cover.

Readers are also promised information on “100 things you never knew about women”, a “how to” guide on professional begging, and a must-see article on the police inspector in Uttar Pradesh Panda, who fervently believes that he is the incarnation of the Hindu Goddess Radha.

Folks I have learned my lesson. I’m not about to make a comment about any of Ms. Chopra’s attributes, just in case I ever meet her. In fact, I had never even heard of her before I read this article. Bollywood film-watcher I am not. Also, it just so happens that guest-blogger Karthik answered a topical question at the very end of his first post. Getting back to the magazine’s contents:

Two bikini-clad models helpfully demonstrate how to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre (handy if you have a piece of food stuck in your throat).

Other parts of the magazine are a masala-like blend of men, motors and models.

Well sure. EVERYONE in India should know how to properly execute a Heimlich maneuver. I’m all for health education in developing countries. I hope however that they don’t let an article like this slip into the Indian edition. It might not go over so well.

See Related Posts: Indians love their newspapers, There is no place to hide it in India, Mortified

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The Truth About Sets and Props

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Late last week, just as Manish was zeroing in on me after scouring the entire blogosphere to find a guest blogger who could make the rest of the Sepia Mutiny gang look good, a friend approached me with a plan. I was on my first visit to Hyderabad – the rapidly growing capital of Andhra Pradesh – and the friend was trying to convince me to go to Ramoji Film City, a Universal Studios type setup on the outskirts of the city.

“But this is not like Universal Studios at all. It is a functioning studio, not a theme park. No trip to Hyderabad is ever complete without a visit to the film city. It is a happening place. We should go.”

“Happening place? I see you’ve never been to K-Mart.”

“No, but this is happens to be largest movie studio in the world. Sometimes you can even see live movie shootings. Imagine seeing Nagarajuna in action. We are going.” This from the increasingly hysteric friend, who was starting to drool.

So we went. And it was a very disturbing experience. I might have grown up building elaborate temples for film actresses, but I know as well as you that not everything I see in movies is true. Like the blood spurting out of people is tomato ketchup. That the vamps are all drinking Sprite, not vodka. That there is a small possibility the email Aishwarya Rai wrote to me asking me to go check out her topless pictures on the internet may not be from her. All this I know. But then, this trip proved to me, there is so much more to add to that list. Such as the Taj.

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Guest blogger: Karthik

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You know what we don’t have enough of on this blog? Wicked Tamil music videos. Our new guest blogger has written about buying a car:

Lavanya and I enter a car dealership, excited, dreaming shiny new cars – after all, first cars are bought just once. A salesman greets us at the door – a younger, taller Dennis Farina.

“Hi, welcome to our dealership. I am John.” (or Jacob, or some such name)

He then offers his hand to Lavanya.

“Hi John. I am Lavanya.”

” ‘cuse me?”

“Laa-van-yaa”

“Oh, ok.” Turns to me. And duly shakes my hand, almost squishing it. Wincing, I mouth, “Karthik.”

“Sorry?”

“Car – thick, like a car that is fat.”

A little pondering. “Ummm… Can I call you Bob?”

We left.

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Poison Pills

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The image at right is from a recent flyer campaign launched by the Nutritional Health Alliance (NHA) depicting Senator Durbin wearing a turban with the words, “Keep Congressional Terrorism at Bay.” What is this all about? Believe it or not, this flyer was put out by a lobbying group for the makers of dietary supplements, i.e.vitamin pills, who are upset over recent legislation proposed by Durbin to make manufacturers of supplements report serious side effects of their products.

Hate mongering is the last refuge of scoundrels

The Sikh American Legal Defense and Education Fund (SALDEF) and over 100 other groups have come together to protest this odious flier. In their response, SALDEF states:

We are outraged that the Nutritional Health Alliance (NHA) would be engaged in the production of such a racist flyer that serves to perpetuate an increased environment of prejudice and hate against the Sikh, Muslim and Arab American communities…The depiction of the turban as a terrorist symbol, or individuals who wear turbans as terrorists, as your flyer explicitly shows, is baseless and reprehensible…The flyer serves as nothing more than hatemongering [Link (pdf)]

SALDEF and its allies call for:

NHA to remove the flyer from any further distribution immediately. We further ask that a public apology be made and posted on the NHA’s website. Legitimate public debate must not be tainted with images that continue to create a dangerous environment of xenophobia and hate against innocent Sikh, Muslim, Arab and South Asian Americans. [Link]

The NHA has a little shame, but not much. They’ve replaced the flyer with one that talks directly about their opposition to the legislation, but they defend their right to use xenophobic lies to make their point: If I sound to you like a hate-monger, then I can’t help it

Even Jerry Kessler, director of the Nutritional Health Alliance, chief executive officer of N.Y.-based Natural Organics and designer of the circular, said it was a purely political response to regulations proposed by Durbin. He also agreed the flier was “not fair” and “in bad taste.”

“Desperate times require desperate actions,” Kessler said. “I’m certainly going to do what’s necessary to call attention to our cause. If I sound to you like a hate-monger, then I can’t help it.”

More than a million copies of the flier were sent to vitamin and supplement buyers, and Kessler said he’s responded personally to phone calls and letters from people he has offended. [Link]

Jerry Kessler, hate monger

It doesn’t look like he’s going to apologize any time soon. You can contact Kessler in the following ways:

Via email, via his company’s Contact Us web page, or via snail-mail:

NHA

PO BOX 649

Melville, NY 11747 – 9806

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Bend it like…Yngwie Malmsteen

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Earlier today I saw a commercial for Gibson Guitars on the television. I was speechless. Upon checking the tipline I saw that SM reader “Rafi” had already sent it in. It seems like Gurinder Chadha is pulling out all the stops on this one. Ever since Bend it like Beckham her star has been on the rise. I’ll bet nothing will make you fiend for the touch of a Les Paul…like seeing it stroked in a Mughal court. Watch.

This is the “Director’s cut” of the commercial

This appears to have been a huge production. A 93 person cast and a crew of nearly 70. See for yourself:

On The Set
  • 1 Elephant – walked five days to get to the studio and then didn’t make the final cut.
  • 1 Large Portrait – a local Indian artist painted it from a photo of the actor playing the Emperor.
  • 18 Dancers
  • 2 Fire Breathers
  • One restored old car
  • 2 Thrones
  • 1 Fountain
  • 2 Large treasure chests
  • 10 piece band
  • 3 Crystal Chandeliers

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Sari-nity

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Last year’s sci-fi flick Serenity turned out to be a WB-movie after all. The captain, a ramblin’ wreck from Duct Tape Tech, tosses his Conan locks and whines incessantly about the health of his ship. But the character is also as hilariously amoral as Han Solo and Indiana Jones. The movie is a whole lot more fun than it has any right to be, and when Heath Ledger’s squire gets shafted, it’s a moment of genuine pathos.

One of the conceits of the plot is that in the future, everyone will speak Chinese and import high tech machinery from India. In a couple of spots, the camera zooms in on hovercraft and spaceship parts prominently stenciled in Punjabi. (Presumably Mahindra Tractors is now Mahindra Tractor Beams.) Indophile also recently noticed that the costume designer drew inspiration from desi formalwear:

It’s ironic that a movie called Serenity bypasses desi philosophy for blingwear which evokes anything but. I say we give Brasilian-American actress Morena Baccarin a couple more turns around the fire and make her an honorary sepiate.

Related posts: A meditation on form, Use the shakti, Luke, “Khaaaaaaaaaannnnnn” Noonien Singh

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Vinay Lal is "dirty"

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I am still debating whether or not to attend Dinesh D’Souza’s lecture at UCLA on Wednesday. It is titled Red States, Blue States, and War in Iraq: What Academia Is Missing. Normally I enjoy doing oppo research, but I teach all day on Wednesday and I don’t know if I will have the energy left to fight the hordes at the end of the day. The meeting is being sponsored by the Bruin Republicans. Speaking of Republican Bruins, I am sure by now everybody has heard about this:

Thirty U-C-L-A professors are being targeted by an alumni group that accuses them of expressing left-wing political views.

The year-old Bruin Alumni Association is offering students up to a hundred dollars per class to supply notes, and tapes exposing the professors.

The group says on its Web site (www.bruinalumni.com) it is concerned about professors who use lecture time to press positions against President Bush, the military and corporations. The effort is being led by Andrew Jones, a 2003 graduate and former chair of a student Republican club.

Education professor Peter McLaren, who’s on the so-called “Dirty Thirty” list, calls the tactic a witch-hunt. [Link]

Apparently, even members of the Bruin Alumni Association advisory board thought this was crazy.

The raised fists beneath his picture means that he is dirty

A former congressman is among three people who have quit the advisory board of a conservative alumni group at the University of California, Los Angeles, after students were offered money to police professors accused of pushing liberal views…

“I am uncomfortable to say the least with this tactic,” Rogan wrote. “It places students in jeopardy of violating myriad regulations and laws…” [Link]

Taz tells me that one of the “Dirty Thirty” is UCLA History Professor Vinay Lal:

Much like comic book superheroes, Vinay Lal leads a double life. During the day he is a mild-mannered Southeast Asian history professor, but in his office, safely behind his keyboard, Lal assumes his double identity as a radical ideological warrior of the broadest stripe. His personal webpage provides only the most indirect clue to this schizophrenic existence, mentioning in passing that he has written for the journals Patterns of Prejudice, Radical History Review, and Third Text.

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