This is a photo from a NYT article on the sexing up of chess. Their caption was: “The model Carmen Kass in a five-minute blitz match against Viswanathan Anand last year.” I’m sure our readers can do better than that, especially given his … interesting expression.
Gimp to Queen 5.
Man thinks to himself:
If I just put my hand here on my mouth and pretend to be looking down she’ll think I’m in deep thought and I can get a good view of her rack every ten seconds – great angle
Beauty and the Geek
“I’m going to close my eyes and pretend that she is 7 of 9 and that this is a three dimensional chess board”
(Only Star Trek fans will understand 🙂
Mommy! She’s almost naked! I can’t look! I can’t look! Oh my – I wonder if she can see my … reaction through the table! All the blood is draining out of my brain!
Maybe the caption should be another picture, that of Vijaypat Singhania in the post below.
Carmen: Jawohl, I have das kleine Indianisch man in der palm of mein hand with this wicked endgame strategy.
Vishwanathan: Ayyo, such a shapely form she has, maybe I offer her my Coke and she’ll give me her number… damn, checkmate already?!
“Damn. How come she always gets to be White?”
“damn! what’s she doing with her feet! ooohhh! karpov never used that move! (thank god!)”
“This overheated room is killing me in my three-piece suit. I can’t come to chess matches dressed like that! Or maybe I can . . .”
“Anand actually won this game four and a half minutes ago.”
“What can brown do for you?“
“i’d like to check his mate!”
Yeah, when he started playing. That playa.
Dammit, must concentrate…. cricket, dadi, masala dosa, indira gandhi naked, jana gana mana adhinayak jaya hai bharat bhagya Carmen’s boobs…. crap.
Take a look at chessboxing. (Scan to bottom of blogpost.)
More pertinently, what can brown do you for?
i’m brown to the bone 🙂
So far my votes are for
and
Brown king takes white rook(ie).
“She’s Ivory, and he’s got Wood”
Ebony and mahogany live together in perfect harmony … [Everybody sing!]
The closest he ever got in making moves on a girl.
“Mini-bar makes appearance at chess match”
It’s actually Vinod vs. Viswanathan:
“Vinod gets in touch with his inner queen”
How can he not feel hot n sweaty – sitting in a 3 piece suit n moreover ‘ME’ around.. please pass me on the ice tray someone.. {i don’t need it for the coke but … ]
(for the Kannadigas)
“It’s a long long way to Tipparhalli, but my wife is there.”
“Quick – let me switch pieces while his eyes are shut.”
M. Nam
Carmen : “Is that a bomb in his pocket or is he just pleased to see me ?”
Viswanathan: “If I bite my finger hard enough it might go back down…..Oh my God, I hope she doesn’t notice what I’m doing with my left hand…..”
Dreaming (obviously asleep) Zzzzzzz Dream Seqence Vishwanathan: Mere sapno ki rani kaba ayegi tu? (While Carmen runs around the tree hiding her face)
Anand:
“Hai.”
Viswanathan thinking “I can finish her off, but i’ll just extend the game a little longer”
Look where his left hand is…
Oh Mommy!!!!
“After Anand was nearly disqualified for his reaction to Kass’s handling of the King, Anand agrees to close his eyes for the remainder of her moves.”
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
And the kingdom was destroyed…except for that mysterious brown pawn who wouldn’t fall down
As Kasparov met his match with Deep Blue, Anand found his in Deepblue ballz.
Check her out mate.
I vote for turbanhead, thekingsingh, and parikshit 🙂
Too tired to come up with captions myself. 🙂
I’m no longer the king of my castle 🙂
Trust Seinfeld to provide me with a quote that works for chess and the situation 🙂
Simi Garewal asked Vishy Anand on her celebrity show that where he thinks his sex applies lies:
The answer was classic
How could you ask such an embarrasing question?
Viswanathan (biting his finger to stop himself from screaming): “That’s the biggest right hand I’ve ever seen !!! It’s the size of her head !!! Aarrgh…..the horror…..the horror…..”
Anand: “Hey baby, want to see my Ruy Lopez opening?”
PRETTY VACANT: Three minutes in and Estonian model Carmen Kass still hasn’t noticed Vishy Anand has replaced his knight with a mini-Coke bottle.
Saheli that chessboxing link was nuts. My favourite line, when introducing the lawyer was
“He fights for your rights, while he smites with the right!”
Rhyming a word with itself, classic. I’ve played shot-glass chess, which levels the chessboard somewhat when playing someone better than you. But perhaps chessboxing is the way to go, seeing as all the best chess players I know weigh about 7 stone.
“your Bishop is exposed”
My vote goes out to “What can Brown do for you.”
And what about this one
Anand in deep thought … “Damn Taco Bell”
What Can Brown Do You For –
Anand: “I want to mate” Carr: “Cash or check”