In the 80s, whenever I was asked the question, “Who’s the Boss?” I had only one answer: Alyssa! The perfect combination of spunk, smarts, and good looks. Or so I thought. My dream is officially dead. ExpressIndia.com reports:
SheÂ’s the fourth sexiest woman in the world according to FHM magazine and popularly known as the seductive Phoebe Haliwell of the witch trio in Charmed. But for the past four days, actor Alyssa Milano has shed her screen image to step into the role of UNICEFÂ’s ambassador to India.
Hair held back with a white crochet band, palms decorated with bridal henna she strolls out of a Chillout session with Cyrus Broacha at MTV’s Parel studio. ‘‘I’ve wanted to come to India ever since I was young,’’ says the Pandit Ravi Shankar fan, who also dabbles in Buddhism and Hinduism.
While in Los Angeles, the actor regularly visits a regression therapist who told her that in a past life, she was friends with Lord Krishna. ‘‘I was also completely at ease with my wardrobe here, because I wear a lot of kurtas back home as well,’’ says the yoga addict who read five books on Indian history in preparation for her visit.
With nine-hour work schedules, this was no pleasure trip. The only party she attended was a small do, attended by Rahul Bose and Farooque Shaikh. ‘‘I couldn’t believe actors from Bollywood were so short,’’ she laughs.
Ugh. Who will I lust for now? I hope Alyssa’s mom doesn’t sue me for this like she has others.
She also dabbles in cheesy Hindusploitation TV shows.
She’s 5’3″ Abhi…I think you still got a chance, but then again so do a lot of us 😛 and she is hot…
You used to think she had ‘smarts’? Yeah, sure you did.
It’s the street smarts that attracts me 🙂
It wasn’t her teen steam hotline?
at least she has appeared on film several times sans kurta, or sand anything else for that matter. oh MY, little lotus flower….
well thats just fucking weird.
Her dimness makes her that much hotter.
But seriously, so she sees India as a source of trendy diets and fashions – who cares?
Dont worry bro – she was talking about Rahul Bose 😉
dont get her comments. what about tom cruise – he’s 5’3″
Abhi, I guess I shouldn’t make fun. I once tried sending a fan letter to Rick Springfield. “Dear Mr. Springfield…” I used to watch him on General Hospital and pined after him, in the classic young teen way.
(You can now do the math for my age group. Except that I never age past 29 thanks to the portrait in my attic)
Handy picture. Still, do you really want to look Gray? 😉
She can prance around with Lord Krishna all she likes, but my questions is this:
Why the hell did UNICEF select this dolt?!!?!
What? There was no one else available? Kate Winslet too busy? Isabelle Huppert too freaky? Charlotte rampling too old? Is being an “ambassador” one of those for-purchase titles? WHAT?!!!!
In answer to your question – if you’re looking for a deva of desire, I strongly recommend Alyssa’s fellow acress, the smokin’ hot redhead Rose McGowan.
Works for me, anyway….
Perhaps she’s good at herding cows? Anyway, my understanding is that Lord Krishna had more than a few “friends”…
peace
Rose McGowan is really pretty, but she used to date Marylin Manson. Ick. Those cooties are contagious.
Why is that when people go back into their previous lives, it’s always something fantastic and amazing?
I went into my past lives and realized I was a really bored cowherder who smoked a lot of marijuana/charas in North India…
Her dopey ramblings do make her hotter – but I much prefer dating (and am married) to girls LIKE Anna. Bright, curious, open-minded, and with BIG BULLSHIT detectors.
truthmissile,
First notion: At the moment one dies, in order for her to reincarnate instantly, a baby (or 2nd/3rd trimester fetus, or zygote) must be made immediately available, right? If, however improbable it may be, there are no available soulless vessels for five years, then (a) the soul would need to hang out and wait .. or (b) fast-forward instantly through time, perhaps? The former requires explaining what a bodiless soul is or does when waiting while the latter is simpler and doesn’t require additional explanation.
Second notion: Again using accentuated conditions to contemplate effects, if the only available vessel is on a distant star then the soul would have to (a) knowingly travel there hoping not be beaten by a faster soul (or causing a stillbirth by not getting there in time), or (b) travel through space without elapsing time? The former requires explanation of causality and free-will since the soul would have prior knowledge of future births. The latter is simpler and axiomatic.
Third notion: starvation may occur whereby quicker, greedier souls dive into available hosts before the lethargic soul realizes what to do. A complex solution is to control the traffic of obtaining vessels, assuring FIFO or other starvation-free scheduling algorithms. A simple solution would have a pre-determined schedule laid out.
If we strive for an elegant explanation, then we cannot have bodiless souls because then we needlessly complicate matters by having to explain why they want to be in a body when they can be bodiless. Thus, reincarnation implies a pre-determined world where one may travel through space without elapsing time. But, wait, if faster-than-light travel is possible, then these souls can travel /backwards/ in time as well! A soul from the 21st century can upon its host’s death nestle inside a Cretaceous-era reptile. In fact, why would there need to be souls when one great soul can traverse out-of-order through all the living creatures in space and time? I shall, for no apparent reason, name this entity passing through all of us Batman. Out of confusion, some less-learned people refer to Batman as Atman.
The ramifications on Batman caused by multipathed light-cones, multiverses, and all that fun quantum-theory cum astrophysics stuff is left as an exercise for the reader. The question of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient.
As the saying goes, what does this have to do with the price of tea in China?
This whole post seems tangential, AT BEST. I’m down for the cheesecake as much as the next gal – but come on!
Oh, hush. Here’s some Dino and John 😉
Holy patronizing, Batman! I didn’t ask for “eye candy” – I can google with the best of them. What I said was: how is this relevant?
The comment/reply by Sagacious Punbaji Böi is one of the FUNNIEST things I have read…great job!!
http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/001791.html#comment14659
What I said was: how is this relevant?
The Bat signal read:
Alyssa Milano has shed her screen image to step into the role of UNICEFÂ’s ambassador to India.
come on you guys. its not a question of giving links to guy’s pictures as a way of fixing it. that’s almost condesending. maisnon is right, this wasn’t really sepia material. more like abhi felt like posting on it, and since it’s his blog he didn’t care and just did it. when i am done reading this blog, usually i’ve picked up something or if you quiz me, i can tell you what every post was on. if you asked me about this one, i’d say “abhi likes alyssa”. i didn’t get the unecef thing at all. i’m pretty sure that’s not what you want us to remember about this…
“no dino or john thanks” it seems like you might be new here so let me explain a few things before you broadcast any more assumptions.
(1) When Deepa stated, “This whole post seems tangential, AT BEST. I’m down for the cheesecake as much as the next gal – but come on!” I thought she was talking about this comment and not my post. If I am wrong about that then egg on my face.
even still,
(2) I never (well rarely ever) will blog about something that has no purpose. Cicatrix in comment #13 was observant enough to figure out the point of my post.
(3) If you think “Abhi likes Alyssa,” you won’t understand my body of work at all. I know not everyone gets my satire. Those who do however, appreciate it.
I agree with Abhi that comment #13 grasped the saliency of his post. I feel somewhat ashamed as a reader for overlooking the importance of Alyssa stepping into ‘the role of UNICEFÂ’s ambassador to India’ To make it clear, Abhi even went to the great lengths of mentioning the UNICEF line in boldface.. er.. well.. Abhi probably likes to use boldfacing sparingly, after all, he wouldn’t boldface miscellany like how Alyssa may have been a Krishna cohort.. erm..
abhi, i stand by my original comment and i think you’re even more condesending after your response. i’ve been reading this blog for over six months. i don’t think the maisnon comment was about comments at all, i think it was about your post. how does that egg feel? i may not get your satire, but you don’t get the point.
Abhi’s post is labeled Humor, which is spelled L-E-E-W-A-Y.
He makes a distinct point about a ditzy starlet who exoticizes desi culture.
There are gobs of desi connections in this post:
In fact, I’m not sure any other posts here have packed that many desi connections into such few words.
This blog isn’t a paper of record. Check out India Abroad if that’s what you’re after. If you want serious news, The Acorn.
You could always go with her desi-lookalike (at least, in my opinion. Hrishita Bhatt
But then again, this is completely irrelevant if Abhi doesn’t really like Alyssa. 😉
better to be a misunderstood genius than a popular idiot, innit?
It’s pretty easy to pass judgement when you don’t have your own blog that we can judge. Why don’t you try it sometimes, and see how well you can do it; While I may not agree with what many people/say or post on this site, one thing I do respect and admire, is the bloggers willingness to spend the time and effort to bring interesting things to light or discussion, or fun. By the way, get a spell checker, you misspelled condescending – and learn to use the cap’s key.
LOL !!
Uh, that’s pathetic! Never knew this..