Killer Bees

The last two days there has been a bee stuck in my office. I fear nothing in this life except for bees. Everyone has a phobia. Mine can be traced to the honey suckle bushes surrounding my childhood home. The bees traumatized me. While learning martial arts in Tibet I thought of a career as a “Beeman” which would entail returning to the U.S. and fighting criminals as a vigilante dressed in a bee outfit. I would make my fear my enemy’s fear.

With the bee in my office I suffered a classic “fight or flight” response. The hairs on my neck stood up, my pupils dilated and my breathing shallowed. No joke. Coincidentally the same thing happened for an entirely different reason when I saw this obnoxious commercial last night while watching 30 Days.

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I can imagine Dairy Queen ad-executives now. “Umm, could you like…try and speak even more Indian-like.” The accents are so over the top and seemingly pointless that it makes you wonder what the hell they were thinking when they authorized this. “The bee concept is funny but do you know what would make it funnier?” In fact, I haven’t seen a caricature this bad since “Ben Jabituya’s” in the movie Short Circuit.

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42 thoughts on “Killer Bees

  1. Ok, is this some weird Guju family practice? My family had rhododendron bushes on both sides of our front door with swarms of bees pollinating away. My brother and I would fight over which of us would brave their way through the front door, while the other would be let in through the back.

    Also, thanks for the “Ben Jabituya” reminder. I had just managed to wash “Number Five” out of my mind. Time to hit the bottle again…

  2. I used to get kinda upset about those kind of accents, but I realized that comedians crack on all accents: rednecks, Chinese, gangster, uptight Whitey, California dudes, Japanese, etc, etc.

    Doesn’t bother me now.. that much.. I just wish they could be more realistic. Yes, they can be realistic and still be hilarious.

  3. i saw this commercial a few days ago, i thought it was funny. I don’t mind the whole accent thing bcuz on the whole, while Americans may make fun of our accents, I think most of them also do so out of the need to try to marginalize the successes of Desi’s in this country. So let them haters hate. Plus, as long as the chinese get made fun of, i can live w/ getting ragged on as well

  4. Plus, as long as the chinese get made fun of, i can live w/ getting ragged on as well

    Lovin, just where did you grow up? For days now I have been wondering if you have just been joking in your comments or if you really are that oblivious?

  5. I also saw it a couple of nights ago and had 2 immediate thoughts:

    1)how does having a bunch of stereotypical FOBby scientists have anything to do with selling ice cream? Should I be offended?

    2)boy that french silk pie blizzard thing looks pretty tasty, mmmmm…

  6. Thanks, Sandeep. I can’t put my finger on it sometimes when these things get to me (and others don’t).

    BTW, probably the best line I’ve heard in a long time was one of yours, last week: “thanks, we’ve been waiting for somebody to marginalize us all night!”

  7. Ugh, how grating. The problem here is that either a) these guys are born here and can’t do a good desi accent, or b) the directors, as usual, asked them to do Peter Sellers rather than their actual accents. ‘Nah, nah, that’s not it… talk funny! You know!’

    The scientist bit doesn’t bug me at all, the accents do. This is non-desi people’s idea of a desi accent. It’s like hearing the Handi Ghandi jingle all over again.

  8. You know, the accents were so jarring, that I had no idea what the product was for. I suppose they might not care about whether I buy or not, but it seems to me kind of foolish to alienate sweet-toothed bangalis. We have high cholesterol for a reason.

  9. abhi-

    take it easy bro, it is definitely a joke, god, people here are so sensitive. I guess that’s what happens in a PC dominated world.

  10. abhi–

    my bad on the last post, i wrote your name in the ‘my name’ spot thinking i was addressing it you. oops.

    btw, i grew up in the detroit area since you asked. I grew up around a lot of ignorant/prejudiced people so a lot of my cynical jokes are usually jaded/sarcastic references to the type of stupidity they displayed on a daily basis. So my apologies if my typing doesn’t convey the sarcasm part (don’t see how it could), but rest assured, I’m not a bigot, racist or whatever. I just like to screw around.

  11. It’s not that it’s a joke. It’s that it’s shoddy.

    fair enough, i’m not trying to impress anyone…just making a joke to kill the work hrs away. But you have to admit a lot of people get all crazy over these things bcuz of the PC crap that’s going on in the world today…i can’t stand PC.

  12. Disclaimer: No offense intended. It depends on how we see it..so yeah it can be Obnoxious and it can be just shoddy too. Did anyone say it can be funny too ? I guess, the director or whoever it was who approved this ad was looking from his perspective An Average American…who can see some accent and say..yeah these are … Now, must it matter if it is correct accent ? Depends on what your target audience is or better still what you think your target audience wants.

  13. Now, must it matter if it is correct accent ?

    And if the actors are desi and that’s their native accent, but the director tells them to ‘do Apu’?

  14. I liked the ad. Oh yeah, I have the thickest of mallu accents. The accent was bit over the top, but the ad was good.

    BTW one of the funniest clips that ever was SNL skit about a chinese lady in an airport customs.

    Easy pal.

  15. That accent isn’t that over the top, it’s just bad. It’s like Rushdie filtered through a jive generator, Vivaldi off-key, mango kulfi with a swirl of spoor…

  16. I have plenty of relatives who have accents just like these two scientists, so it wasn’t all that offensive to me. There’s definitely a fine line between parody and racism, but I don’t think this particular clip crosses it.

    In other news, I must say that I can’t believe I’ve never heard of badmash.org before! I don’t think I’ve ever laughed and cried visiting the same website! 🙂 Hmmm, except perhaps Sepia Mutiny…. Yeah, that’s right, I cried watching a Sarah McLachlan video…. and proud of it.

  17. But you have to admit a lot of people get all crazy over these things bcuz of the PC crap that’s going on in the world today…i can’t stand PC.

    Duly noted. Will be sure not to hold back on addressing your comments in the future. (Speaking for myself, not Abhi).

    I’ve noticed the people who complain about excessive PC are also quick to make complaints about “civility” and “decorum” when the fire is directed at them. “Oh I hate PC, but you should be respectful when talking to me…” ,etc

  18. Yeah, that’s right, I cried watching a Sarah McLachlan video…. and proud of it.

    These eyes might have moistened a bit while watching that video as well.

  19. it is a white man’s world……their culture dominates, and english is the language that even the poorest village in india teaches its children….what can you do, lets just be glad they let our parents in when they did

  20. I thought the commercial was really good. If you think this commercial was racist, then you’d have to be really upset up with those Alexander Keats beer commercials too. I don’t think a lot of us Indians take a joke as well as others might. I haven’t heard an uproar from Scottish people wrt that beer commercial.

    Thats just one example, there are a lot of commercials making fun of a lot of accents.

    I didn’t think this Bee commercial was bad at all.

    I’m gonna go for a blizzard. Jeet

  21. one of the funniest commercials ever. I guess it’s a good thing none of you saw harold and kumar go to whitecastle – or is there also a forum out there ragging on how racist that movie musta been by many of your standards?

  22. do a search for harold and kumar on this site and see what you come up with

  23. don’t get in a knot. It’s a cute and fun commercial. Our whole family enjoys it. We are native Canadians and find nothing offensive about the accents.

  24. We are native Canadians and find nothing offensive about the accents.

    Well, that’s good to know! Hey, I’m white and I find nothing offensive about Step’n Fetchit.

  25. Whats wrong with you people? a jokes a joke and thats it. you know what im offended by? people being happy in Mcdonalds commercials, because first of all their “lovin it” and i think people having a good time is just down right wrong…and dont even get me started on hamburgers. When i was young a clown at a birthday party came up and slapped me with a big mac….boycot Mcdonalds.

  26. if you can’t laugh at yourself you gottal problem

    insert your favorite accent here you must be the change that you want to see “quote by M. Gandi”

  27. Per request, a redux on the whole Killer Bee debate:

    “Killer Bee” DreamPie Blizzard Treats television-ad (Dairy Queen) http://www.dairyqueen.com/en-US/DQ+Ads/default.htm

    It’s a new ad that’s been running since the end of June, it features two Indian scientists examining bees with exaggerated [Indian] accents. At some point in the ad, Scientist #1 exclaims “I can speak bee!” (or something like that) and then instructs one of the bees to kill Scientist #2 so he can steal his Blizzard Treat.

    The ad is not really that funny, but it is interesting in terms of the subtle statement regarding the faux eccentricity of accents and the people who have them, use them, understand them (translation: people with accents are weird). It’s also somewhat surprising and reminiscent of a Dairy Queen ad about thyroid-problems that got pulled a couple years ago. And, it’s entirely compelling because this type of commercial inevitably causes some people to raise Cain and then, an equal number to say “Who cares?”…

    Keeping all this in mind, I thought to look around, poke my nose into some holes and see if anyone had anything to say about the commercial or rather, if anyone does care. And lo and behold, I found this guy:

    “On an entirely unrelated note, I have a new favourite commercial. It’s a Dairy Queen ad, and features two Indian-origin scientists. The first one is making buzzing noises and exclaims to the other (in a wonderfully Indian accent), “It’s incredible, I have learned to speak bee!” I don’t know why, but that line alone profoundly tickles my funny bone. The rest of the ad is suitably humourous as well. Now my wife is having to put up with me saying, “It’s incredible, I have learned to speak bee!” over and over in my best Indian accent. It’s a darned good thing she loves me.”

    I’m not certain if anyone else really hates or loves the commercial, but I’ll bet all the dollars in my bottom that a couple of ABCDs will one day be sitting around drinking Bourgeoisie Gimlets, thinking deeply on the veracity of Mira Nair’s The Namesake as an interpreter of all true maladies, when someone will suddenly spout that line to break the silence (ala Henny Youngman’s “Take my wife, please!”), causing all to laugh attractively. Or, perhaps even worse, I can see the day when I’ll be at a party and someone will suddenly say that line (after someone else randomly asks “Whatever happened to that Bee-Girl from the Blind Melon video?”), and then all eyes will turn on me in liberal silence.

    In any case, it’s one of those things that you look at and can immediately see all the poor taste and broken creativity; if you don’t agree then consider that the ad actually works the same without Indian-accents. Thus, it’s something like a minstrel show where all the jokes are funnier because the guys are in blackface, baggy pants, etc.. That said, what’s really funny is that as I was running around trying to find information on the commercial, I found this note on a travel-site:

    “It took us 4 hours to cover the 30 mile to Jackson. I began to feel better as we rolled down a steep hill, into town. We were drawn into a Dairy Queen and would have had a Blizzard…

    “… A cool drink and good local info at the first Fairmont Mini Mart we came to led us to the closest and least expensive motel advertised. The lady who checked us in was from India. I take pride in my ability to understand people who speak English with an Indian accent. She was a difficult study. The harder I tried the more I misunderstood and the more frustrated she became. She quoted $47.00, Cat asked about the billboard we saw that had $28.99 in big red letters? “That is for lesser rooms and singles,” she said, again in such a thick accent that I could barely understand her. When we asked about AAA or ARP discounts she almost looked angry then said, “Yes, $45.00.” None if it made sense to me then she said something, I thought she was telling me the room number but the map didnÂ’t have anything close to the map on her desk top. She repeated it 3 times before Cat translated for us. She was quoting the price including tax.”

    -excerpt from Section I of the World2Riders site (http://www.worldriders2.com/Journal_3_1.asp)

    The guy takes pride in being able to understand Indian accents, what a skill, he actually refers to it as though… “Can you speak any other languages? Oh, yes, Indian-accented English, which is coincidentally, the most widely spoken language in India. I picked it up from motels, mini-marts and Dairy Queen commercials.”

    Anyhow, when Aunt Jemima sold pancakes, people bought it and black people still eat Cream of Wheat. A Blizzard is actually a fairly tasty treat and so, you decide.

  28. Egad everyone! I’m an american indian, and the first thought in my mind for this commercial was intelligence. Do you all realize that americans use stereotypical accents to symbolize intelligence? You will never hear a chinese, indian, or british accent in the U.S. if the subject is supposed to be stupid! Chinese and indian accents usually indicate a smart person. Ask anyone from the states who the validictorian at their high school graduation was. Five dollars says they were Asian or Indian. Even Apu, though a lowly cashier, is portrayed as an intelligent man. British accents to your average american mean distinction, even taste. Now do you associate ebonics with intelligence? Hell no, that accent automatically means uneducated. Even when we hear american indians speak, what do we think? Fat, drunk, and stupid. So take all this with a grain of salt, the ad guys are thinking of their target audience when you see ads with accents. White, middle-class, bible belt folks who have never met a person from India, or China, or England!

  29. I think the commercial is hilarious. You obviously sont have a sense of humour, because normal people find this funny.

  30. you hear that….normal people find it funny

    thats exactly why Everybody Loves Raymond wins Emmies. Normal people find it really funny. And thats a problem

  31. In Canada we don’t ever seem to have brown-skinned people in our commercials. I don’t know which is the worse scenario, not having any, or having some that are caricatures…

  32. Nice artwork on the top of page,i am not scared or worried about bees because i encountered only twice or thrice when bee stuck me.so you too should lose your fear of bees in general thanks