India’s first marriage bureau for the HIV + has opened up in Gujurat. This is hard work in India, a country where weddings are cancelled just because one party has an inauspicious birthdate. Nonetheless, Daksha Patel (who is HIV positive herself) has already helped seven couples get married.
Both Daksha and her clients approach marriage with a typical Indian matter-of-factness. They don’t hold wishy-washy “ishq conquers all” sentiments; they know very well that life is hard and money is important.
In one exchange, Daksha interrogates a client who earns 3,000 rupees (roughly US $70) a month:
“You will have to look after yourself and your wife – you are both HIV positive, maybe you will have to spend on medicines,” says a concerned Daksha.“Will you be able to manage all this with your income?” [BBC]
Similarly, one satisfied client explains:
“I had read about this organization which worked with HIV positive people and ran a marriage bureau. I had come to find out more about the bureau – for the purpose of marriage only … I did not want a very handsome person, or a very rich person. I just wanted a husband who can understand me – and who can provide for three square meals a day.” [BBC]
Dakhsa’s main challenge should sound familiar to any desi male who has thrown a party — not enough women!
The bride-seekers out-number bridegroom-seekers almost ten to one. Of the 70 people presently registered with the bureau, only eight are women. [BBC]
Because of the stigma attached to AIDS in India, most women cannot afford to be open about their status. Between the increase in the size of the HIV infected population in India (second only to South Africa in the world) and the advent of more effective treatments, more and more people will be living with HIV. It’s time for Indian culture to acknowledge facts and deal with them.
amor DOES vincit omnia, you HATER!!!
😉
Lucre vincit omnia. Veni, vidi, Visa.
Isn’t that very ‘ishq conquers all’ already? 🙂
why the rabbit?
Good question about the rabbit – I have no idea, but it was charming so …
Uma: By “understand her” I think she means “not kick her out of the house” like her last husband did. You could read it like this:
“I did not want a very handsome person, or a very rich person. I just wanted a husband … who can provide for three square meals a day “
Doesn’t typical Indian matter-of-factness see marriage as a means of producing children? I read the BBC article expecting some mention of the complications of raising children born with HIV, but found none. Are the couples advised to contraceive? Is the matter ignored?
Nina, I don’t know what they tell their clients, but 70-85% of children born to HIV positive mothers are born without HIV. A single dose of Nevirapine during labor cuts that transmission rate considerably further, and this is a drug produced in generic form in India. Sadly, there is still a 10-20% chance of infection through breastfeeding, but I don’t know how that works if the woman has a low HIV count due to ARV therapy.
You can read more about mother-child transmission at the Avert website.
Even if the child is born without the HIV, will the parents be able to live long enough to raise their children? Drugs can extend a person’s longevity, but I don’t know if these couples will have reliable access to them.
Also previously read somewhere that the couples are strongly advised to not have chidren – but that this advice is not usually heeded to.
i think it’s a good way to at least let ppl live their lives in relative happiness and not feel isolated from society due to disease. As for breeding and procreation, if these people are on the marginal income side i would probably advise them to wait until at least they can secure better incomes…no need to have a family potentially decide between child care and medication.