As far as I’m concerned, the best day to buy the New York Post is Snarkday Sunday. THAT’S the day when the Post gets extra wacky; weddings are announced and more celebrity photographs than usual are displayed, replete with delightfully rude captions which allow otherwise demanding readers to overlook the nightmarish-lack-of-editing this tabloid embraces, as a way to distinguish itself from big apple-rivals like the Grey Lady and the “Daily Snooze”.
Still, let’s be honest– other papers have “Vows” sections and every third magazine and fourth cable channel offers celebrity drivel. So why waste three-quarters-of-a-dollar (or hell, three quarters) on The Post? Simple. NYP goes a step beyond, by allowing you to recall the halcyon days of yore when Chuck Woolery helped hapless singles attempt a “Love Connection” with three potential dates.
Chuck is busy, so the Post’s uber-creatively named “Meet Market” feature is what’s in control of some New Yorker’s social fate. And this week? Oh, my Mutiny-lovers. THIS week (drumroll…er…tabla, please)The man looking for some lovin’ is…VIKAS.
There you go, faithful female followers of SM. You wanted more pictures of MEN? We heard you. Feast your eyes on the guy who describes himself as
“good looking and charming, with a nice smile, and the body of a god.”
WHOA.
Did you CATCH that?
I can’t believe it! Vikas had the nerve to brag about his SMILE??? Uh, someone’s a little too proud of his teeth. 😉
He goes on to describe himself as “spontaneous, fun and unique; ambitious and driven; loud, assertive and prone to insanity – OK, that’s enough gloating for today!”
Indeed.
Vikas, a cunning linguist who likes Jujitsu, was once dissed and dismissed by a girl while on a train TO a Broadway show. That’s his worst date ever. Next week, Post-philes like me will tune in eagerly to find out if the subway-ride-from-hell still stands or if he can top that…trainwreck with whatever went down on his New York Post date.
Log on here, to peruse and choose one of the three bachelorettes who are eligible for this adventure. Here’s a hint: choose the lady with the least makeup on, since our man V doesn’t like Sephora-whores. Oh, and since all brown people are less than three degrees apart, I giddily await the comment to this post from the person who roomed with Vikas in college/once dated his best friend/knows his sister’s brother-in-law’s cousin. Have at it. 😉
:+:
UPDATE: Apparently, Vikas gets to pick his own fair maiden; OUR votes are merely for fun (read: utterly useless). Next week, within the follow-up article that will describe the date via a “he/she said” format, the public’s opinion will show up in a small sidebar that says “YOUR PICK: THE GIRLS” with corresponding percentages next to each bachelorette’s picture. Sigh. How are we to meddle NOW??? 😀
what, no brown chicas good enough for vik? i live in oregon, i have an excuse for my miscegenating ways 🙂
Huh, I voted. I assume he goes on a date with the woman who wins the most votes, yes?
Saheli- I looked at the PRINT version vs the web and found the answer to your question. I updated the post accordingly. Our votes don’t do jack. Or Vikas, rather. 😉 He picks, we pick, next week, we might get the opportunity to mutter, “I KNEW it, he should’ve gone out with ____!” under our breath…that’s about it.
what? no Salman Khan style posing, sans shirt, with his god-like bod?
Well, can’t we have a SM poll or at least have this thread sent to him somehow? There’s no point to this if I don’t get to play Intrusive Aunty, guilt trips and “I told you so”s and all.
I thought none of them was a very good match for him. If I wanted to fix him (which I assume he needs, given that he’s a 27 year old currency trading dude with a big ego), I would set him up with the teacher, who would be miserable but he would grow a little. If I wanted him to have a weird relationship, I’d set him up with the athletic-bodied graduate student (in what? apparently not that important to her, and hence him). While the photographer was very…23, and hence out of the running except for very shallow sex (and possible happiness, but i think the “the world is wonderful…i just love experiences!!!” vibe will wear off when she turns 26 and/or gets mistreated by enough men/women).
plug for inclusivity: it’s not just female Sepia Mutiny readers that would like to see more pictures of men.
have you ever seen an indian turn red? 😉 begin: shame spiral.
seriously, saurav-ji. i suck for that. mea culpa. maybe i subconsciously thought you deserved better? 😀
“cunning linguist” — 🙂
Maybe we send our votes to his mother / former roomate / actual white girlfriend who is kibbitzing / actual white boyfriend who is helping him pick out a “beard” / sister / ex.
After all, we can probably track them down, right?
uh, whats up with the photographers face in the pic? looks like she falls in the category of ‘excessive makeup’!
He’s wearing an awfully roomy shirt for someone w/ “the body of a God.”
He’s confused. Every time he goes to India, his grandmother says:
“Hai Ram! Look at your body”
She means, don’t you eat anything in the US. He thinks he’s godlike.
No worries–and thanks for being receptive. I don’t bring the hammer down on people with decent track records on emotional sensitivity issues. 🙂
Also, I agree that I clearly deserve better than our “charming” friend with the self-proclaimed nice smile, as do all of you. “body of a god”? currency trader? Advertising yourself in The Post? I think not.
We really should try and figure out who his mother/aunties are and send them our picks.
Let the quest begin! I love adventures! But I think the SM bloggers should offer some kind of reward for our e-stalking.
ooh ooh! scandal! So Vikas was one of the contestants a few weeks ago, which means that he’s either an editorial favorite, or they get so few men to enter this thing that they have to recycle the unpicked.
The link above is from an entire(ly disturbing) blog devoted just to the topic of New York Post dating Meet Market. Here’s the racist commentary I linked above from Vikas’s April failure:
LL Cool J?!??! Sing it with me: “I need a Round The Way Girl…”
Let’s remember that Ganapati is a god… rice belly and all.
-D
We gave you Amal Dorai, what more could one possibly want? 😉 (Also, Upen Patel.)
Maybe it only seems like Vikas has four arms when he’s out on a date.
He looks a little like Jerry Seinfeld. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…..
Manish, we’re not asking for Arjun Rampal or anything like that… but please no Shakti Kapoor or uncles…
why hate on shakti (odd name for a man)? He is the definition of sexy.
” “cunning linguist” — 🙂 “
Holy crap, I just got that.
I present to you the sexiest desi guy in the history of mankind.
WHY, manish, WHY??
thanks for making my day slightly weirder. the sexiest desi guy makes johnny lever look like arjun rampal. (we’ll stick to brown-on-brown comparisons for now, thank you)
Ah ha, hush that fuss, Johnny Lever’s sittin’ at the front of the bus.
That is the talented Mr. Lever.
Damn, only Johnny could look uglier than himself. That’s not just ugly, it’s fugly.
Wow, that’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day.
Anna: lame about the voting. That’s no fun at all. If the date doesn’t work out he can always blame us and still try and find one of the other two girls. Oh well, “I told you so” can be fun too. I can’t believe one of his cousins hasn’t materialized yet. Sepia Mutiny needs to recruit.
Saurav I am totally mystified by that blog. It’s so deeply snitty I’m entirely not sure if it’s racist or not. What’s the guy’s point? I just don’t get it. But yeah, it does seem like it. Sigh. . .
I have just stumbled upon this site and forgive me if this is an inane question:
Do you know this guy ‘Vikas’ ? I looked at the people with the blogs; he doesn’t seem be any one of them. So what does this remark by Anna mean:
I can’t believe it! Vikas had the nerve to brag about his SMILE??? Uh, someone’s a little too proud of his teeth. 😉
OR
And in summary, what is the consensus in the comments so far:
I am confused reading some articles on this site because all of you seem to talk of people featured in a very familiar way
So what does this remark by Anna mean: I can’t believe it! Vikas had the nerve to brag about his SMILE???
She’s purposely ignoring his bragging about having the body of a god.
It’s called humor.
I am confused reading some articles on this site because all of you seem to talk of people featured in a very familiar way.
That’s called snark.
So, he has a bad smile and a bad body too? but you can’t see his body in the picture, do you? Or it is frowned upon by anybody to brag about their body?
No, she’s teasing him about his outrageous claim by ignoring it.
It’s like the old joke:
“Mom, I’m in love with a Martian.”
“Yes, but is he Jewish?”
Oh. Thanks for the explanation.
oook, it’s late and I have downed a lotta “sake” Enlighten me ’bout “cunning linguist” part.. I’m feeling all DUH!!
Saheli, it’s definitely racist language, but I also forgave on grounds of snarkiness. I agree, however, that “mystifying” is probably the best word for a blogging endeavor that exclusively seeks to publicize someone’s extremely lengthy opinions on a weekly New York Post dating game.
That’s cold, Manish. Really cold.
Oeth: I’m not Vagabond. Manish: It’s a multiple personality free-for-all (see Oeth above).
I shamefully admit that I remained curious about who Vikas would pick. I can’t help it! 🙂
Anyway, he’s quite lame apparently. Read the dirt here. Does anyone remember who this Kristen is?