Imagine this. You’re 22 & living back in da homeland. You were supposed to get married 4 yrs ago but your bride walked off on you for drinking too much. Tarnished for life, there seems to be no hope for your sexual frustration. Solution? Well, I suppose here’s one —
AHMEDABAD: In a shocking incident, a 22-year-old youth of Ahmedabad district castrated himself earlier this week to do away with the root cause of his sexual frustration! Bachu Mafabhai, a resident of Sadatpura in Detroj town, chopped off his penis with a sharp blade on Tuesday morning, which according to his own confession, was to get rid himself of the root cause of his unfulfilled sexual desires that were making life miserable for him. “I could not sleep for nights on end, I would just keep tossing and turning in bed,” Bachu, who had a broken wedding engagement four years ago, told TNN.
Good god almighty.
Local doctors managed to restore the spring in his step, as it were, and have an suggestion for our frustrated hero –
“…This fellow could have resorted to masturbation…” Dr Malodiya said.
And just to make the story even more disturbing:
After slicing, he buried his penis in the ground and the only reason he didn’t bleed death is because his sister-in-law saw him burying “something” and with the help of her husband, dug it up and took him to the hospital.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1033837.cms
It’s lucky they found a fillet joint welder so quickly. That’s so important with cut pipe.
See, that’s the problem with India – no privacy. A man can’t even bury his own penis without having his sister and brother-in-law watching on suspiciously.
It’s like when I visited India a few yers ago and my cousin stood behind me and watched as I sent e-mail to my friends, and then proceeded to ask personal questions about the ones that were girls.
Just like that, except with a severed penis.
Rajesh – That made me laugh out loud. Thanks.
Someone else composing email is a form of mass entertainment in the homeland. I’m f’ing amazed that the dude had it left in him to go and bury the appendage after cutting it off. Wow, just wow.
Why did they reattach it? Now the idiot can reproduce.
Well, hypothetically, anyway.
They should have let him be, though. Boy, would he have been surprised to find out a few days later that we was still horny as hell, but now even less able to do anything about it.
I can’t believe BI didn’t get this one first. 🙁
LoL @ Rajesh 🙂
Geez. Tell me about it. The poor ‘chap finally gets to “bury the weenie” and he gets foiled, yet again.
So, little Bachu buries his pipe in the sand, a man in Alaska had his piece flushed down the toilet (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7006231/) and Russia has everyone beat:
Russian Museum to Exhibit Rasputin’s Penis http://www.mosnews.com/news/2004/04/28/rasputin.shtml
“…There is one exhibit in the museum which makes Knyazkin be especially proud of. This is the 30-centimeter preserved penis of Grigory Rasputin. “Having this exhibit, we can stop envying America, where Napoleon Bonaparte’s penis is now kept. 
Napoleon’s penis is but a small â€Âpod“ it cannot stand comparison to our organ of 30 centimeters
†the head of the museum said.”
I just measured out 30cm on the tape measure. That thing can’t be real.
But I went to the site. And saw the picture. Um. loss for words
Andrea briefly contemplates filing for divorce …
ewwww it’s disembodied and Rasputin is dead that is just disgusting, ennis…….
….unless you know of similar offers from live, intact people…
/just kidding //happily married
you would think that the comments would have stopped me from going to the website and looking at the thing in the jar. But no.
Btw, anyone know why Napoleon’s penis is kept in the United States? It doesn’t seem very French for them to let us hold on to that.
Nothing like morbid curiosity. I found the whole story. It gets even more bizarre…
Gregor Rasputin (1872-1916), lovingly dubbed ‘the mad monk’ was in his day the sex cult leader and boy toy to Czarina Alexandra, the wife of Czar Nicholas II…The Rasputin family’s maid (and lover) was present during this snippet of the revolution and she took it upon herself to save the monk’s penis. She then offered it to Rasputin’s daughter Marie, who in the end was the only non-bastard Rasputin to survive the revolution. The daughter kept the penis, and wrapped it in newspaper or some other packing material when she fled to Paris where the sex cult was quite popular, then again to Buenos Aires, and finally to California, where she eventually died in 1977 at the age of 78. It somehow makes sense that she lived her last happy days in LA, in the 70s.
But if Rasputin’s daughter and his penis were in LA, how did it get back into Russia?…Dr. Roberta Ripple of Santa Monica is the author of various books and essays about Rasputin…When Dr. Ripple came into possession of Marie’s manuscripts, that package also included various photographs of Rasputin, and his penis, which came in a velvet bag and a post it note from Marie. The exact wording of this note is an elusive point, but then – what would a daughter note about her father’s dong?
In 1994 Dr. Roberta Ripple died and at a storage-locker sale Mike Augustine bought as a bulk lot all the author’s effects….he soon dealt the Rasputin penis to an American dealer in London, Victor Osterling….Bonham’s Auctioneers of Kensington sent Augustine a check for nearly 400 pounds….And someone purchased it from Bonham’s at auction. It is a mystery where the penis has resided for the past decade, but it now looks quite black and withered and strangely pickled in a jar in a museum in Petersburg, Russia.
And just to round out this blessed event:
Napoleon Bonaparte died in exile on the southern Atlantic island of Saint Helena on May 5, 1821. The following day an autopsy was conducted by the emperor’s doctor, Francesco Antommarchi in the company of 17 witnesses, including… a priest named Vignali and a manservant, Ali…
A detailed account by an eyewitness, Thomas Reade, states that… Antommarchi and Vignali might’ve been alone with the imperial corpse at some point… In a memoir published in 1852… Ali the manservant claimed that he and Vignali had removed bits of Napoleon’s body during the autopsy…
In 1916 Vignali’s descendants sold his collection of Napoleonic artifacts to a British rare book firm, which in 1924 sold the lot for about $2,000 to a Philadelphia bibliophile, A.S.W. Rosenbach. Among the relics was “the mummified tendon taken from Napoleon’s body during the post-mortem.” A few years later Rosenbach displayed the putative penis, tastefully couched in blue morocco and velvet, at the Museum of French Art in New York. According to a contemporary news report, “In a glass case [spectators] saw something looking like a maltreated strip of buckskin shoelace or shriveled eel.” The organ has also been described as a shriveled sea horse, a small shriveled finger, and “one inch long and resembling a grape.”
The Vignali collection changed hands a few more times… in 1977, the penis was put up for sale again at a Paris auction house… John K. Lattimer, professor emeritus and former chairman of urology at the Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, bought it for $3,000 and acknowledged having it in 1987…
OMG, the fact that anyone would do that much research over some disembodied dead guys’ penises is just disturbing. The fact that people kept them and sold them is even worse. That sort of stuff stays in the pants (or bedroom) and really shouldn’t be removed or sold. Bleck!