I’m so turned on by an Indian accent

Why don’t you EVER hear that? British accents are sexy but Indian ones for some reason aren’t. Humorist Melvin Durai writes a coulmn over at Indolink.com lamenting this unfairness:

The other day, my wife, a research scientist, returned home with a major finding, one that may soon be published in a scientific journal. “The Irish accent,” she announced, “has to be the sexiest in the world!” She had been listening to National Public Radio in her car and some Irishman had gotten her a little, shall we say, revved up. SheŽd been totally charmed, even without seeing his face, smelling his cologne, or exploring his views on politics, literature and the theory of evolution.

Needless to say, I was envious. IŽve always wanted to have that kind of effect on women. Just open my mouth and have them falling at my feet, begging me to say more. But as luck would have it, only one woman has ever fallen at my feet after I opened my mouth — and she was begging me to try a breath mint.

IŽve tried enchanting women with an accent, but the only accents that come naturally to me, the only accents I can pull off, havenŽt endeared me to a single woman, even when IŽve gone so far as to say, “Vat a lowely voman you are!”

If I were Irish, IŽd be sweeping women off their feet every chance I got: “Whart a lurvely worman ya arre!” Of course, IŽd save my best line for my wife: “Whart a sirksee marn ya mahreed!”

Melvin has an idea though of how to get mainstream America to grow to love the Indian accent.

… the Indian accent may not seem particularly sexy, but wait until NBC produces a reality show called “The Programmer.” Ten Indian computer experts compete for the chance to get a job at Microsoft, joining ten zillion others. Soon every woman would find her heart palpitating whenever she hears the words “softvare enjunyer.”

5 thoughts on “I’m so turned on by an Indian accent

  1. The comedian Russell Peters has a hilarious bit about the desi accent. It’s at 26:40 in the video clip:

    “Indian people are fully aware of what their accent sounds like… We know it’s not the coolest accent in the world. We don’t need you to tell us that.”
  2. a heavy indian accent kills english;) what’s annoying is that people with this accent make fun of people who speak englsih the way it should be spoken…:)

  3. I’m a gay abcd man w/ a fob boytoy…it took me awhile to train myself not to laugh every time he opened his mouth to speak during a fit of passion…hehehe

  4. living in nyc, i can only say this: after hearing so many ppl speak in the desi and irish accents, it just seems like another “kind” of english! but the desi accent, w/out a doubt, bags the award for being the funniest!

  5. Ah, well, to tell you the truth (and I'm being dead serious here)I have never heard anything so insanely seductive as a thick indian accent, which I seldom find hard to understand. It's damn cute, too. And I find the "mistakes" very charming. It's certainly not plain. I am 100% white (21, Portland, Oregon) and, well, I am guilty of being a little googlie for the Indian lads here...they are so fun to talk to and to spend time with and learn about...and the darker, the better. And the thicker the accent, the more attraction there is from my side, at least. Glasses? A big plus...but now I'm sounding weird...ha ha. My point is...I don't understand why anyone wouldn't adore the Indian accent, though I haven't heard all the dialects...but I  suspect they are all beautiful. (I actually have never heard such precision in English as that used by my Indian friends!)