Monkey mayhem arrested in Patiala

Because itÂ’s unacceptable to kill an animal referenced throughout Hindu mythology, miscreant monkeys in New Delhi and Punjab are sent to a monkey jail and locked away behind monkey bars. Oh darling, yeh hai India.

At Baljeet Kaur’s house, when the monkey demanded food, it was given cut apples and peeled bananas. Kaur, once bitten by a monkey, said she was happy this monkey was gone…. jailers refer to them by where they were caught: Sanam Monkey or Jalandhar Monkey. “They are so notorious, why should we give them a name?” Atalia said. “They don’t listen anyway,” added Surinder Singh, who is in charge of the Motibagh zoo.

Damn those non-Punjabi-speaking monkeys… How to generate a book title in the South Asian lit category: 1. Come up with a tropical fruit. YouÂ’re done! ItÂ’s The Guava Thief. Call Granta and B&N and ship that sucker.

“He used to eat our guavas,” said Bhagwanti Devi, a neighbor who was harassed by the monkey…

…A friend of mine once noted that the monkey god Hanuman was clearly modeled on Punjabis, because heÂ’s funny, loyal, muscular, hairy, and always spoiling to dish out some whup-ass. And given his vertical leap, heÂ’d make a hell of a baller.

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5 thoughts on “Monkey mayhem arrested in Patiala

  1. Great sense of humor Manish…very well written funny article..specially that line”Fortunately, monkeys treat the Indian judiciary with the exact same respect as do all Indians” Arent humans descendents of monkeys..evolutionary POV? pata hi today at work in one of the scientific meeting people were talking about how a potential compound could become a block buster drug and said it all depends on the monkeys and is in the hands of the monkeys they are trying to dose to see if the disease can be cured in monkeys before trying it on humans.. A lot of pharmaceutical companies use animals as experimental guinea pigs to find cure for human diseases.So monkeys do a great job too and contribute a lot to science and their contributions go unnoticed… I was reminded of our house in the small town where I was raised..we have all fruit trees in our house from guavas to bananas , custard apples to pomogranates to coconuts and our servants always used to crib that even before the household staff get to taste the first fruit of the season monkeys eat the fruits. And I used to laugh a lot when servants used to chase monkeys out when I was a kid. There are a lot of naughty monkeys who make faces at human beings too ( like the one episode where kramer in seinfeld picks up a fight with a monkey in the zoo and the monkey refuses to eat until kramer apologises and kramer refuses to apologize to the naughty monkey) yes people in india do see hanumanji and remember the stories of a monkey army helping lord Rama fight the battle against Ravana in Ramayana. Good thats one way they treat animals/other forms of life well…In India they just let monkeys get their fair share of mother nature…just like u let squirrels eat the fruits here.. BTW I never read vikram chandra. how do u rate vikram chandra as a writer? do u think its worth reading “Red earth and pouring Rain”?thanks Manish…

  2. Vikram Chandra is awesome, he isn’t as well known but in skill is up there with Rushdie (who said he was envious of Chandra’s second book) and Zadie Smith. Red Earth is quite an epic, Love and Longing in Bombay is short stories.

    PG: Since these pugnacious primates are still paddywagoned, I assume Maneka Gandhi has only begun to fight.

  3. Arent humans descendents of monkeys..evolutionary POV?

    In fact, not. Humans and monkeys descend from a common ancestor. Sorry to nitpick.

    I’d recommend Vikram Chandra, although Red Earth is an epic… the writing is really beautiful, but he does go on and on.

    Anyone up for Monkey Freedom Now t-shirts? They could rival the Monkey Knife Fight slogan that has been mysteriously emblazoned all over the mission in SF.

  4. Thanks so much Manish, would be fun to read writers who write like Rushdie.. I will order a copy of “Red earth…” I dont know why but Zadie smith started really well in white teeth (felt a lil. bit of Rushdie in the first 100 pages or so but later she lost the grip, I read some 250 pages of her novel white teeth and lost interest in reading)..may be I should try reading her again..I felt that her second novel might not be that good either..I might be wrong.. Iam reading now “The Impressionist” after u blogged on it in one of ur articles and enjoying reading it. I like Hari kunzru’s story telling better. He is keeping me interested in his novel. Thanks a million Manish, bec.of u Iam reading some new authors/writers. let me know if there is anything I can do for u..thanks again.. thanks Brimful for correcting..I was not sure thats why the question mark? there..And did not have time to check on web or read books on evolution. so just left it as a question mark..thank u for clarifying..