{"id":5009,"date":"2008-02-05T21:14:11","date_gmt":"2008-02-06T02:14:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sepiamutiny.com?p=5009"},"modified":"2008-02-05T18:18:30","modified_gmt":"2008-02-05T23:18:30","slug":"no_exclamation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sepiamutiny.com\/blog\/2008\/02\/05\/no_exclamation\/","title":{"rendered":"No Exclamation Points Were Harmed in the Blogging of this Post."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><center><a href=\"http:\/\/farm3.static.flickr.com\/2218\/2245633910_25a6aef6be_o.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Yay commodification.JPG\" src=\"http:\/\/www.sepiamutiny.com\/sepia\/archives\/Yay commodification-thumb.JPG\" width=\"455\" height=\"388\" \/><\/a><\/center><\/p>\n\n<p>I yam <a href=\"http:\/\/anna.typepad.com\/diary\/2008\/02\/february-2-zzzz.html\">still<\/a> convalescing, which means I don&#8217;t feel guilty for phoning this one in. \ud83d\ude09  I love the random, and when Nux2 posted a link on our News Tab to a <em>fabulous<\/em> pillow you can purchase for your home, and he\/she described his\/her find as &#8220;random&#8221;, I was on it like Oprah on Obama.  It&#8217;s mutinous because the pillow has Bollywood on it! And it&#8217;s just a mere $19.99?  Wheee!  Fire up the maroon Camry and let&#8217;s <em>go!<\/em><\/p>\n\n<blockquote>Bombay blockbuster. Coming to a sofa or chair near you. Bollywood film clip, remastered in black and white on 100% cotton. Hidden zipper closure; feather-down insert. Machine wash. Imported. [<a href=\"http:\/\/www.cb2.com\/family.aspx?c=595&#038;f=4376\">CB2<\/a>]<\/blockquote>\n\n<p>If you&#8217;re a fraudulent brownie like me who neither speaks Hindi (mein kya karoon?) nor watches Bollyfun, you probably won&#8217;t know that the gorgeous woman whose face will soon be under some hipster&#8217;s ass* is Bhanu<strong>Rekha<\/strong> Ganesan, the effulgent star of the legendary phillum <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Umrao_Jaan\">Umrao Jaan<\/a> (&#8220;the real version&#8221;, which came out in 1981 when I was six).<\/p>\n\n<p>If you click the picture above, you can see a huge version of it, to better appreciate the edginess of it all.  Once you do that, you might find yourself considering the severed hand tchotchke I&#8217;ve included a screen shot of(&#8220;adaa hand sculpture&#8221;), which is a steal at just $49.95.  Think of all the money you&#8217;re saving by not buying the whole body!  <!--more--><\/p>\n\n<blockquote>One in the hand. Is worth a lot of design karma. Adaa, aka &#8220;the charm,&#8221; gestures in classical Nritya dance form. Exaggerated sculpture in dark cast sandstone\/resin suggests perfect harmony, perfect balance&#8230;perfect soap dish? [<a href=\"http:\/\/www.cb2.com\/family.aspx?c=527&#038;f=4074\">CB2<\/a>]<\/blockquote>\n\n<p>Hold up, wait a minute&#8211; how am I offended?  Let me count the ways.  This sculpture is &#8220;dark&#8221;, and thus obviously not representative of desi mores.  Why isn&#8217;t it fair?  What if people who read that think it&#8217;s African, and thus confuse us with people we may or may not be darker than, yet still consider ourselves superior to?<\/p>\n\n<p>And why is it considered exaggerated?  Don&#8217;t impose your Americanized-Westernized-PseudoSecular norms on us!  We&#8217;ll do with our fingers whatever we choose!  Maybe <em>we&#8217;re<\/em> not exaggerated&#8230;maybe the terminal members of the copywriters&#8217; hands are repressed!<\/p>\n\n<p>And why does the word &#8220;karma&#8221; have to pop up in everything?  About the only thing CB2 got right was the soap dish bit.  <em>Of course<\/em> a desi hand would be holding soap!  We have a never-ending tape in our head, starring our Mother&#8217;s voice hissing, &#8220;Cheee!&#8221; at regular intervals; obviously, we wash our brown&#8211; but not dark!  Well, unless you&#8217;re a fellow Lemurian&#8211; hands often.<\/p>\n\n<p>Maybe I&#8217;m being too harsh on CB2, which is Crate and Barrel&#8217;s &#8220;younger&#8221; incarnation.  For all I know, some of you might have these objects in your home.  Who am I to judge you for that?  If I am so petty, it is entirely possible that my design karma will bite me in my callipygian kundi and you will mock me for my abiding fondness of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ikea.com\/us\/en\/catalog\/products\/10065958\">this humble object<\/a>, should you ever visit.  Hmmm, I wonder if Swedes think <em>we&#8217;re<\/em> odd for buying their <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sepiamutiny.com\/sepia\/archives\/002905.html\">amusingly-named furniture<\/a>&#8230;<\/p>\n\n<p>*Am I the only one who is supremely grossed out when people sit on pillows, especially bed pillows? Especially <em>someone else&#8217;s<\/em> bed pillows??  I don&#8217;t want your ass where my face later goes, thanks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I yam still convalescing, which means I don&#8217;t feel guilty for phoning this one in. \ud83d\ude09 I love the random, and when Nux2 posted a link on our News Tab to a fabulous pillow you can purchase for your home, &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/sepiamutiny.com\/blog\/2008\/02\/05\/no_exclamation\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sepiamutiny.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5009"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sepiamutiny.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sepiamutiny.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sepiamutiny.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sepiamutiny.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5009"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/sepiamutiny.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5009\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sepiamutiny.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5009"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sepiamutiny.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5009"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sepiamutiny.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5009"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}