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<\/a><\/center><\/p>\n\nIf the pop culture ref I used for my title didn’t float your yacht, try this one from tipster Raj, who single-handedly ruined my afternoon by sending us the bad news:<\/p>\n\n
“Oh my God !! They killed Asok, you Bastards!!”<\/blockquote>\n\nA moment of silence, please, for the adorable, paavam*, wide-eyed IIT alum who will no longer be available for scapegoating and abuse. Wait a second…maybe he’s better off<\/em> away from Wally<\/a>, the Pointy-haired Boss<\/a> and everyone else he (got) worked (over) by.<\/p>\n\n
Asok (pronounced “a-shook”) is an intern in the Dilbert comic strip. He is a brilliant graduate from the Indian Institute of Technology…Asok often solves difficult problems in a few keystrokes, but he is still na\u00c3\u00afve<\/strong> to the cruelties and politics of the business world. As a result, he often ends up being the scapegoat for his coworkers’ antics. Despite many years as an intern, and performing the functions of a senior engineer, Asok has been denied permission to be a regular employee and the usage of company resources for his work<\/strong>.<\/blockquote>\n\nIt has been mentioned that Asok once lived in the handicapped stall of the bathroom; he later moved to a storage facility (but was only allowed an hour leave for moving by the Pointy-Haired Boss). Asok is also trained to sleep only on national holidays, a trait that he allegedly carried over from his alma mater.<\/strong> In addition, he was trained during his time at the Indian Institute of Technology in telekinesis, using it once to vaporize an obnoxious Texan and more recently to stealthily steal donuts in a meeting, and remove asbestos from the office. As well, he has mentioned that he has the ability to reheat his tea by holding a cup to his forehead and think about fire. Asok appears to be a fan of Indian music: in the animated episode “Art” he is shown listening enthusiastically to a female vocalist singing in Hindi. Recently, the Pointy-Haired Boss announced that Asok died while on a test of a moon shuttle prototype. Asok had planned to reincarnate into his clone, unfortunately Carol had used the jar containing his DNA as a candy jar. It is not known how Asok will return. [viki<\/a>]<\/blockquote>\n\nIf you are one of the three people reading this post who has not been exposed to the charm of Asok, read on:<\/p>\n\n
Asok:<\/strong> You can use my key to open the box with its teeth.<\/p> \n
Dilbert:<\/strong> To open this box I’ll need something stronger than a key.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Asok:<\/strong> I once killed a cougar with this key.<\/p> \n
[pause]<\/p> \n
Asok:<\/strong> It was a really small cougar.<\/p> \n
[pause]<\/p> \nAsok:<\/strong> It might have been a potato. [IMDB<\/a>]<\/blockquote>\n\n
A-shook, you will be so very missed, especially by our interns here in the bunker, who for some odd reason felt a bizarre solidarity with you. Here’s hoping you are reincarnated, and soon; while many lament the lack of brown faces on television and movies, I feel that the acute insufficiency of desis in comic strips is a cause for just as much, if not more concern.<\/p>\n\n
Asok was a wonderful ambassador of everything right about us– he was the humble, industrious, IIT-educated genius who countered all of those icky images of convenience store clerks and turbaned-yet-beard-free taxi drivers; I mean, we ALL know that everyone in America who is brown is smart and rich, right? Shucks, I’ll bet Asok was upper caste, too.<\/p>\n\n
Considering all that tarradiddle, let us not underestimate the significance of this loss to our community, nay, the entire South Asian diaspora. I mean, why couldn’t Groening have killed off Apu, that other infamous desi cartoon whose name also starts with an “A”? Why did it have to be the fair-skinned, brilliant one, why<\/em>?<\/p>\n\n
***It’s one of my favorite<\/em> Malayalam words, one for which I haven’t found a satisfactory English substitute. I think in Tamizzhrl, the correct translation is “chamatha”, but that may be off (and if it is, I’m smacking the Madras-born-and-bred cunning linguist who sold me that noise). \n\nDoes anyone know what “Paavam” would be in Hindi? There are so many Southie polyglots here, I have faith that one or more of you will be able to figure this out. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If the pop culture ref I used for my title didn’t float your yacht, try this one from tipster Raj, who single-handedly ruined my afternoon by sending us the bad news: “Oh my God !! They killed Asok, you Bastards!!” … Continue reading