Ennis and I swapped a few e-mails the other day, in which, in-between soliciting my opinions on Begum Nawazish Ali and expressing a fear of pigeon-holing me, he offered up some ideas of stuff to talk about\u00c2\u2014politics, the whole \u00c2\u201cwar on terror\u00c2\u201d, fashion, South Asian politics, that sort of thing.<\/p>\n\n
Naturally, having all the depth of a particularly shallow puddle, I\u00c2\u2019ve opted to go with fashion.<\/p>\n\n
Fashion, or what passes for it in Pakistan, really pisses me off. Of course, that doesn\u00c2\u2019t mean that I don\u00c2\u2019t somehow find myself at least marginally involved with it, but in the years since I\u00c2\u2019ve been back, it\u00c2\u2019s taken on this quasi-mystical status as an \u00c2\u201cindustry\u00c2\u201d, with a mythical \u00c2\u201ccouncil\u00c2\u201d comprising\u00c2\u2026well, I\u00c2\u2019m not quite sure who\u00c2\u2019s on the council at present, but I\u00c2\u2019m going to go with \u00c2\u201csenior\u00c2\u201d, \u00c2\u201cestablished\u00c2\u201d, and\/or \u00c2\u201creputed\u00c2\u201d designers, since those are generally the terms that seem to be kosher.<\/p>\n\n
Now, at the risk of back-tracking, let me just mention for the record that I know most of the designer community in Pakistan. It\u00c2\u2019s all a bit of the little pink mafia, with most designers either being gay men or straight women (I\u00c2\u2019m sorry, they\u00c2\u2019re not always gay, some of them are \u00c2\u201cbisexual\u00c2\u201d, or \u00c2\u201cbi-curious\u00c2\u201d snort<\/em>; I\u00c2\u2019ve yet to meet a larger group of individuals who have managed to make what they describe as a \u00c2\u201cphase\u00c2\u201d last well over a decade or two). And then the photographers, stylists, event managers and \u00c2\u201cchoreographers\u00c2\u201d all tend to fall into the same gay man\/straight woman alliance, so when you combine the somewhat incestuous socialising with a severely limited pool, and then further refine it into an industry dominated by fags and their hags, it\u00c2\u2019s not hard to meet them all\u00c2\u2014and be declared their new best friend\u00c2\u2014within a matter of hours. And while I\u00c2\u2019ll admit that there\u00c2\u2019s a certain amount of glitz to the whole thing, to socialising with the crowd that everyone knows (of) and being dragged from one party to another, the realisation that it\u00c2\u2019s tinsel and not actual stardust comes rather rapidly.<\/p>\n\n I know, what a shocker, right? Fashion, shallow and superficial? Never!What actually gets on my nerves about fashion in Pakistan is that it\u00c2\u2019s\u00c2\u2026well, it\u00c2\u2019s not really. Now I\u00c2\u2019ve never really understood fashion (I know, I risk losing my homosexual membership card with this admission), but I\u00c2\u2019ve sort of always followed the perspective that creating outr\u00c3\u00a9 outfits that no one can either afford or actually wear in public for more than thirteen-and-a-half minutes may well be couture, but it\u00c2\u2019s not necessarily fashion. And admittedly, I adore Project Runway<\/em> (although Laura was robbed, but we\u00c2\u2019ll get back to that)\u00c2\u2014to me, that\u00c2\u2019s sort of what the fashion industry is about\u00c2\u2014creating innovative, imaginative looks that while interesting, aren\u00c2\u2019t so completely insane that you can\u00c2\u2019t actually wear them out in public. But the key thing here is innovation and imagination. And learning about pattern-making, about sewing, about how fabrics need to be tailored, the basic tools that one would (I assume) require to be a successful designer.<\/p>\n\n Not here though, apparently. It seems that any bored hausfrau<\/em> with a bit of extra cash and a tailor at her beck and call can set up her own \u00c2\u201cboutique\u00c2\u201d or label; and the successful designers seem to be the ones with the most technically adept tailors. I cannot for the life of me, imagine more than one or two of Pakistan\u00c2\u2019s most \u00c2\u201cfamous\u00c2\u201d designers being able to go on a show like Project Runway<\/em>. I mean, at the end of the day, it\u00c2\u2019s all bridal wear, ghararas<\/em>, lenghas<\/em>, shalwar kameez<\/em><\/a>, and the occasional blouse, all differentiated only by the amount of embroidery, the length of the top or the trousers, and\/or the general cut of the neck or the sleeves. There\u00c2\u2019s really not much else going on there. I\u00c2\u2019m not really doing it justice, but basically if you\u00c2\u2019ve seen one outfit, you\u00c2\u2019ve seen \u00c2\u2018em all. The menswear market is similarly limited, but enough on the limitations of the actual designs and clothes\u00c2\u2014suffice it to say that by virtue (again, we keep coming back to this) of an innately theocratic government and society, designers are fundamentally limited in what they can and cannot actually make. So I\u00c2\u2019m happy to give them a bit of a pass on the \u00c2\u201coh good grief, it\u00c2\u2019s the same bloody thing as you made last week\u00c2\u201d element of the local fashion industry, they\u00c2\u2019re definitely working within some stringent conditions (although I continue to maintain that if they\u00c2\u2019re going to paint themselves as \u00c2\u201cedgy\u00c2\u201d and \u00c2\u201cdaring\u00c2\u201d, they need to do more than slash a couple of vents in random pleats and contend that it\u00c2\u2019s a breakthrough in design).<\/p>\n\n I suppose it\u00c2\u2019s because of the somewhat repressive social regime that exists across the board here in Pakistan (although some are, of course, more repressed than others) that fashion has taken on this mythological sense of presence. There are fashion shows for just about everything, and they double as excuses for parties, for fundraisers, for self-promotion\u00c2\u2026just everything under the sun. Which again, somewhat understandable, but I hear about things like Pakistan Fashion Week<\/a> and cringe just a little, imagining a week of catty designers screaming epithets at one another as models swish down the catwalk in a rapid succession of only-marginally-different outfits. I think though, that an exchange between two of my friends right after the massive earthquake last year neatly encapsulates the degree of self-importance that fashionistas in Pakistan exhibit. A friend, living in Islamabad, got a telephone call from a \u00c2\u201cfashion choreographer\u00c2\u201d (i.e. \u00c2\u201cWalk down the runway! Now turn! Now walk back!\u00c2\u201d\u00c2\u2014seriously, that\u00c2\u2019s the extent of it from what I\u00c2\u2019ve observed), the day after the earthquake. The first thing asked was not \u00c2\u201cAre you all right?\u00c2\u201d, but rather \u00c2\u201cOh God, what am I going to do? The fashion show is going to be completely ruined, you HAVE to come and be the MC.\u00c2\u201d I suppose that could be a relatively innocuous statement coming from someone who couldn\u00c2\u2019t process the tragedy and was dealing with it in manageable chunks, but I see this mentality everywhere. It\u00c2\u2019s as though the designers and anyone associated with the domestic industry have an obsession with living up to the conceptual certainty of being a designer (read: like to do lots of drugs and party massively) without actually exhibiting any amount of technical skill or ability. Not that you\u00c2\u2019d think it from hearing them speak about how incredibly talented (and self-effacing, of course) they are, nope, not at all.<\/p>\n\n Don\u00c2\u2019t get me wrong, I have an enormous amount of respect for the fashion industry\u00c2\u2014never in the history of humankind has so much attention been paid to the deconstructed A-line skirt. And there\u00c2\u2019s definitely an industry present, remarkable in its own way for the sheer amount of business it generates, but what strikes me about the Pakistani fashion industry is the number of aspirations that lack any real substance. But you have \u00c2\u201cfashion journalists\u00c2\u201d, and \u00c2\u201cfashion photographers\u00c2\u201d, and \u00c2\u201cfashion stylists\u00c2\u201d, all of whom are focused on inflating the reputation of an industry that is very much in its fledgling stages, is dominated by about a dozen people, and which quite frankly, needs to get its shit together. There are some genuinely talented people out there, but they tend to get overlooked by the pompous gits who seem to think that their ability to describe an outfit in its most literal sense is some sort of major accomplishment. Seriously. It\u00c2\u2019s that attitude, the \u00c2\u201cfashion is the panacea for all earthly evils\u00c2\u201d thing that really gets on my tits, and it\u00c2\u2019s what limits the industry here severely. If someone could get everyone in the general industry knurd<\/a>, I suspect very strongly, that once the medications have run their respective courses, people would really get their shiznit together.<\/p>\n\n I swear, I cannot WAIT for Heidi Klum to auf someone from the Pakistani version of Project Runway<\/em>. Just to see the expressions on everyone\u00c2\u2019s faces.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ennis and I swapped a few e-mails the other day, in which, in-between soliciting my opinions on Begum Nawazish Ali and expressing a fear of pigeon-holing me, he offered up some ideas of stuff to talk about\u00c2\u2014politics, the whole \u00c2\u201cwar … Continue reading