What happens when a radio station ignorantly insults Chinese people over something that happened in India, Sri Lanka and Thailand (wha?): public rallies (thanks, Saurav), dis tracks, government officials baying for blood:

 

“If the FCC was able to fine CBS $550,000 for a wardrobe malfunction, then it can certainly penalize WQHT-FM radio for the really sick stuff coming out of the mouths of their shock jocks,” stated [NYC] Council Member John Liu… “WQHT-FM Radio and Emmis Communications need to terminate Miss Jones and Todd Lynn… Emmis fostered an atmosphere that aided and abetted these individuals in their deplorable conduct, and we intend to hold the corporation accountable.” [Vibe]

What happens when a radio station calls up desis at their workplace and insults them directly:

It’s another law of large numbers. So get out there and procreate! This message brought to you by Humpin’ for a Browner America.

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I was at the amazing barbershop around the corner from my apartment the other day getting a haircut. I love my barbershop. It is an old school “barrio” barbershop with a spinning pole outside and men grunting inside as they speak in a mixture of Spanish and English. They spend an obscene amount of time on each haircut. It makes me feel very special. Anyways, as I am sitting in the chair this young Hispanic guy waiting to get a haircut, strikes up a conversation with the young black gentleman in the chair next to mine. They started by talking about neighborhood chicks that they have or have wanted to bleep, then moved on to gossiping about prominent members in the local gangs. “Yeah I know T-Lo. He’s mellowed since he been out of the joint.” I was loving this conversation. Then it got educational all of a sudden. The Hispanic guy felt the need to unburden himself by telling this black man, whom he had just met, that he had used the word “N–ga” recently while he was watching a football game with his best friend (who was black). “I think I may have offended him cause he hasn’t been the same. I’m not racist you know. Its just that many of my friends are black people who be saying N–ga this, N–ga that all the time, and being in that environment it just came out. I hope he wasn’t offended.” The poignancy of the situation struck me. This guy was asking for absolution from a black man, whom as I mentioned he had just met, for the guilt he felt over using a word that didn’t “belong” to him, in front of another black man. This made me think of my own experiences. I have never been able to grow accustomed to the N-Word being used by South Asians as it increasingly is (free registration required for Feb 14th article):

You can see it on television, where comedian Chris Rock makes the word a staple of his routines.

And it’s obvious in local schools, where students of all races concede the word – when used in the right context – is a playful way to talk with your close friends.

“I just grew up hearing it from my friends,” said Zibi Zarghese of Englewood, a student at Rutgers-Newark and a 1999 graduate of Dwight Morrow High School.

Even though Zarghese is Indian, he feels comfortable using the word with his close friends who are black. He even uses the word with his white friends.

“I was accepted in using it. I only used it with my friends,” he said.

But it can cause problems. Zarghese recalled an incident in high school where he used the word with one of his friends and someone else overheard it and started giving him grief.

He learned there are rules. Use it only with and around friends. Always say the word as if it ends in an “a,” never with the harder sounding “er.” Saying it with an “er” is always offensive, no matter what the context. And never use it in front of parents, Zarghese said.

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From StrategyPage –

February 14, 2005: A new CIA report predicts that Pakistan may well come apart in the next decade. Corruption and poor government are making Islamic radicalism more popular, especially in the Pushtun (northwest) and Baluchi (southwest) tribal areas. Most of the population is not tribal. In fact, about have the population is in one province, Punjab. When India and Pakistan were formed in 1947, Punjab was split, with about 70 percent of it going to Pakistan. The Indian portion, with better government and less corruption, has done more than twice as well as the Pakistani part (on a per-capita basis). India also has problems with tribal separatists (in the northeast), but in Pakistan the tribes comprise a larger portion of the population (at least ten percent.) It’s expensive to fight the tribes, and the Baluchis are eager to take control of the lucrative natural gas fields operating in Baluchistan. The CIA report sees the country coming apart along ethnic lines, much like Yugoslavia did in the 1990s. This would create a Punjabi state, with at least half the population, plus Pushtun and Baluchi states, plus one or two more. The big question is what would happen to Pakistan’s nuclear weapons. The Pakistanis dismiss the report, pointing out that, while they created the mess, they’ve also learned to deal with it.

Personally, this whole scenario feels a bit far fetched… But, I’m just the messenger 😉 Continue reading →

The article itself isn’t as “directly” brown as everything else we dissect or publish here, but the subject matter is familiar enough– even if it doesn’t explicitly mention south asians:

…parents, relatives or a designated member of the community took on the sacred task of arranging for a young person to create a new household, thus ensuring the continuity and stability of society. Although in much of the world that tradition continues, in our mainstream culture of individual choice and romantic self-determination, finding your own mate is a rite of passage, an exercise in autogenesis.

Among certain immigrant groups in this country, like those from Southeast Asia and Africa, ancient traditions of arranging marriages continue. In the Jewish tradition, arranging three marriages secures you a place in heaven. Ultra-Orthodox marriages are routinely arranged, and conservative communities often have informal matchmakers.

I am so curious about the “Southeast” reference…does she mean to include us within that inaccurate phrasing? Or is she the last human alive to know that we’re all about the auntie-facilitated set-up?

No matter what the author meant, it’s a fascinating piece from the NYT magazine. I’ll totally vouch for it. Oh, and if you’re going to take my word for it and try to read the rest, but you don’t have a username/pw for the site, there are ways around that.

:+:

The Grey Lady: “The New Arranged Marriage”

*Shadchen: yiddish word for “matchmaker” Continue reading →

The Bay Area edition of Craigslist.org has been buzzing lately over one woman’s post in the Rants and Raves section. Apparently the number of responses she has gotten has inspired her to start her own blog. Normally I would never consider linking to a blog that is so young that it only has two entries, but I have a nose for controversy and thought I’d help this woman by sending some traffic her way (and start a gender war as a bonus). Yes, I am a troublemaker. From her post:

I can tell you the reason why most girls, desi or non don’t like to go for Indians. I have heard more than 100 stories in the last few years from every woman I know who has dated or tried a relationship with a desi guy.

1. There is always that, let’s have a relationship now and I love you and I want to marry you but I won’t tell anyone of my friends or family that you even exist. You are just a friend and then one fine day, make a trip to India to “visit” family and the guy either comes back married or engaged and his answer is “sorry but they forced me and now I can’t do anything.” Some get even worse and then say, I always told you my parents would never approve of anyone that I found and other b.s. things like that. My point is, desi guys tend to want to lie and are dishonest about long term futures even when things are going well and they don’t have the balls to stand up for someone even if they love them. <<<-------- This is the BIGGEST reason why I know most women wont even look at a desi as a serious relationship matter.. What good is it if he can't be a man?

2. They are too cheap. I have actually had a desi guy ask me to split a bill at Taco Bell.. I mean, hey I don’t mind going dutch but ocassionally it would be nice to see a guy actually making things a little romantic than finding the cheapest way to a date.

3. They are NOT romantic. They have no concept of how to treat a woman period. They don’t know about bringing flowers on special occassions or sometimes, just cuz. They don’t know how to show their emotions and care for someone. Their idea of a date is sitting at home or at Naz, watching a Desi movie over a dinner at an indian restaurant. They have no concept of doing something to please a woman and let’s face it.. desi or not, women love romance.

…

Have you heard enough or are you thirsty for more? Needless to say I think this girl is wrong in most of her generalizations. We are victims of our own designs when it comes to dating and love. I am also pretty sure that some Indian male is going to come up with a counter list. It won’t be me however 🙂

I don’t mean to generalize but most women will give you a reason or reasons between the above mentioned ones as to their experiences with a desi guy. Since there aren’t that many desis to go around, once a woman has one or two experience like this, they stay away from desis in general.. Hence, anyone who may not even fit in to this catagory will suffer because of your fellow desi men who have used and abused these above mentioned criterias too much.

You bastards!

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Women with supportive, well-off fathers often are often at the forefront of women’s rights in conservative nations, because they have the means. One such woman has shocked Egypt by filing a paternity suit against a well-known actor. Because it involves a woman fighting injustice before marriage, losing her privacy and being publicly vilified, it reminds me of the dowry extortion case in Delhi:

The standard three-step program for any unmarried upper-class Egyptian girl who becomes pregnant is an abortion, an operation to refurbish her virginity with a new hymen and then marriage to the first unwitting suitor the family can snare… Instead [Hind el-Hinnawy] did the unthinkable here: she had the child and then filed a public paternity suit… Ms. Hinnawy contends that the two had what is known as an urfi [unregistered] marriage… She may well set an Egyptian legal precedent by requesting that the court order Mr. Fishawy to submit to a DNA test…

Corporate tycoons and politicians who are married have found urfi marriages a convenient means to carry on affairs with everyone from secretaries to belly dancers with an Islamic seal of approval… “People prefer that a woman live a psychologically troubled life; that doesn’t matter as long as it doesn’t become a scandal…”

… the case would help defeat the conservative Saudi values that she said had changed Egyptian society for the worse… “These values from Wahhabi Islam are completely different from our Islamic values,” Mrs. Bakr said. “This is petrodollar Islam…” [NYT]

The 2003 Nisha Sharma case in Noida:

Just a couple of hours before her wedding ceremony, Ms Nisha Sharma used her mobile phone to report her in-laws-to-be to the police. They had allegedly demanded Rs 12 lakh from Ms Sharma’s father, and had even assaulted him when he had hesitated to comply with the demand…

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