Technophobic Geek recently overheard the following at his middle eastern drum circle:

Instructor: So I was playing the tablas at this very fancy and HUGE Indian wedding last weekend. It was really quite fascinating. I haven’t seen a wedding this big in a while.
Other guy: How many people?
Instructor: At least 400, maybe 500 people. It was a really traditional wedding. Not only in terms of the ceremony, but it was also an (with dramatic pause) arranged wedding.
Everyone else: (awestruck) Wow!
Instructor: In fact, it was so arranged that the bride did not smile at all through the entire wedding, not one time.
Other guy: Was she at least over 18, I mean, she wasn’t like 12 or something, right?
Instructor: No, not at all, she was in her early 20s, at least that’s what they said.
(Everyone heaves a palpable sigh of relief). (link)

Our technophobic friend says he was rendered speechless by this (“I had no idea where to even start bridging this cultural chasm…”), so let’s help him out. The first thing he could say is that it’s striking that arranged marriage is still such a stigmatized practice in the U.S. — especially amongst “laid back dudes” in one’s social circle. Come on guys, get over it: learn something about the culture of the people who invented the tabla you’ve learned to play.

Second, it’s not necessarily the case that it was an actual, no-prior-meeting, arranged marriage (actually pretty rare these days in the diaspora). Any help from websites and/or parents is often construed as “arranging” by people outside the loop, when in fact “assisting” might be a more accurate way to describe it.

As for why the bride wasn’t smiling: uncomfortable outfit? Awkward hair? Cultural expectation? Continue reading →

For many of us this site is a place where we can explore the desi experience, not just as it plays out in news or culture, but also on a personal level. As a community we are coherent but not cohesive, united by a diasporic experience but keen to its many variations. What it means to be desi is still very much under negotiation, which is good: it means that we haven’t congealed, nor been taken over by ideological disputes or anointed leaders. This, combined with tools like the Internet which previous diasporas did not enjoy, has helped to keep the conversation open, generally productive, and most important of all, conducive to sharing personal experience.

For some of us, the idea of being desi comes with self-questioning built in, because we are of mixed race and ethnicity, products of unions where one partner was desi, the other not. I know there are a lot of people who read this site who belong to this group, and many more who are having, or are likely to have, mixed children. Among the regulars here who identify as both mixed and desi, the most outspoken in the past year have been DesiDancer and myself in the U.S. as well as Bong Breaker in the U.K.

Recently DesiDancer (portrayed here as a young macaca) and I began a conversation that aims to explore the experience of being a mixed desi in America today. It is also a blog experiment: A different format than usual, and a new way of engaging the many people here who have been so generous and thoughtful in sharing their stories. We are corresponding by IM and editing the transcripts for coherence and pace. And by making it a series, we can absorb your responses to each instalment as we prepare the next.

Today, in “Gettin’ Down with the Brown,” we talk about how we came to identify as desi when we had the choice of not doing so. Later we’ll discuss the ways we — and others — live, deploy, engage our “desi” and “mixed” identities in the world today. Whether you are mixed yourself, or the (potential) parent of mixed kids, or neither, your responses will help shape the discussion. (You may also share thoughts in confidence with either of us.)

So, here goes: Continue reading →

While Katrina’s flood thrives in our memories, Debby peters off to the east and TD5/Ernesto enters the Caribbean, New Orleans holds its collective breath. Whether to extract Rubbermaid containers from storage this evening or wait until Tuesday (when many hope that Ernie opts for the Yucatan peninsula)? Uncertainty is the toll of living in New Orleans during hurricane season.

Today’s nola.com confirms the rising cost of living in this city. Surrounded by jacked-up insurance premiums, neighborhoods teetering on the fine line between rebound and abandonment, increasing expenses and a mayor without a plan (or a clue), can the middle class make it during the rebuild? The current answer to this $110-billion-dollar question: We shall see.

Forget stress and money; grey hair is easily painted over and moolah comes and goes. In any disaster, whether natural or humanmade, one that occurs overnight or lumbers along over the course of years, the real price of living is borne by its least-enfranchised. At times of chaos, strife, poverty and socio-economic/political instability, women and children need additional protection. The ACLU investigates violations in New Orleans prisons after Katrina and Spike Lee talks of the overall suffering here; who speaks for the women? As pertains to Iraq, Afghanistan and Darfur, concerns about US military misconduct, extremist violence or the semantics of civil war abound, but why is more light not shed on the real victims – mothers whose rights are decreased or taken away, sisters who are brutalized and raped, daughters who are dehumanized? Continue reading →

A few days ago we received numerous requests on the tip line that we cover the story of the Northwest Airlines plane that returned to Amsterdam airport soon after taking off for Mumbai. If none of us posted on it at that moment, it’s probably because we were waiting to see what came of the incident. Not surprisingly, we now learn that it was a false alarm:

The Dutch ambassador to India has expressed regret for the arrest of 12 passengers whose India-bound plane was diverted to Amsterdam after their behavior triggered fears of a hijacking, a government minister said on Friday.

The 12 men, all Muslims, were, however, cleared of any wrongdoing and released and their families said they were victims of racial discrimination.

The case of the 27-year-old Canadian radiology resident thrown off a United Airlines flight was also a false alarm:

A Winnipeg doctor is demanding an official apology and compensation from United Airlines after being kicked off a flight in the U.S. this week, an incident he has characterized as “institutionalized discrimination.” Dr. Ahmed Farooq, a Muslim, was escorted off an airplane in Denver on Tuesday. According to Farooq, reciting his evening prayers was interpreted by one passenger as an activity that was suspicious.

The Washington Post has a good round-up article of these and similar events today. In it I learned of this excellent new acronym (perhaps not so new to those of you in the UK): TWA. Most appropriately, the initials of a late lamented airline now stand for “Traveling While Asian” — a little like Driving While Black (DWB) only with higher stakes and more exotic rewards.

Now I know some commenters will point out that so long as groups of young Middle Eastern men have the market on airborne mass murder cornered, there is some rationale behind profiling; but perhaps we can all agree that botched, panic-driven and vigilante-led profiling is, like, a general bummer. Exhibit A:

Farooq said the allegation came from a passenger who appeared drunk and had previously threatened him during the trip. …

Farooq said that even officials from the Transportation Security Administration soon realized the flight crew had overreacted, but by the time that conclusion had been reached the trio were forced to stay in Denver for the night and catch a flight the next day — at their own expense.

The gentlemen on the Amsterdam-Mumbai flight were deemed suspicious because they were fiddling with mobile phones and chatting loudly around the time of take-off. Uh, excuse me? Anyone here ever traveled in the Third World? People being loud and fiddling with cellphones is suspicious? More to the point, what about travel in the civilized West? Every khaki-clad, buttoned-down, yellow-tied Joe from sales and Tim from marketing (not to mention Ashok from strategic planning) is futzing with his phone until the moment wheels leave the ground and again from the instant they touch down.

Now comes the news that the Monarch Airlines Costa del Sol fiasco may — just may — have been… a prank. (Thanks Jai for the tip.) IF — and it’s still a big if, so let’s not jump to conclusions here — IF Messrs. Ashraf and Zeb were trying to prove a point, it’s not clear they have been helpful to their cause. It’s one thing to stage a guerrilla theater event to reveal a little-discussed injustice, but it’s another when every few days a dead-serious case like the ones mentioned above comes to light.

In the meantime, my macacas and macacis, stay away from aviation if you possibly can. Personally, I’ve stopped traveling to any place I can’t get to by the Chinatown bus. Continue reading →

Given my affinity for South Asia, monkeys and South Asian monkeys, it is an honor to gain guest access to the ND bunker. I must say – seeing lutefisk placed on the same shelf as mango chutney warms this former Upper Midwesterner’s heart.

Employment ushered me to the other end of the Mississippi. With a choice between Houston and New Orleans, I opted for the city with the most interesting cultural dynamics in the United States. A mélange of European and Afro-Caribbean, New Orleans is 70% non-white, poor in wealth, rich in customs and conventions, and a lot more than the drunken-tourist section of Bourbon Street.

As you know, it has been 359 days since Category-3 Hurricane Katrina made landfall in Buras, LA and laid waste to Slidell, LA and lovely beach towns along the coast of western Mississippi. Whole beachfront streets and homes in Waveland and Bay St. Louis were torn off their foundations by the whipping winds of an unusually angry hurricane.

Thankfully, New Orleans was spared that fate. However, our long-suffering and neglected canal levees could not handle the 25-foot and higher storm surges and the unthinkable happened – the levees broke flooding 80% of this city. Friends who stayed behind were forced to act as rescue workers and witness things no American in the 21st century should. Trapped in their homes for more than five days without food, water, medication and rescue, approximately 1400 New Orleanians, mostly the elderly and little children, perished. Demolition workers find carcasses to this day.

What does this have to do with desi or Sepia Mutiny?
Continue reading →

An anonymous tipster sent in a news story which has haunted me since I read it. Sick, sick, sick:

A group of television journalists gave a man matches and diesel to help him commit suicide in order to get dramatic footage which was later broadcast on the news, police said on Thursday.

The man died from severe burns to his body in hospital in Gaya town of Bihar on August 15, Independence Day.

These people aren’t journalists, they are criminals.

Footage of the man, screaming and writhing in pain as he ran with his back on fire, was aired on several television channels. Police identified the man as Manoj Mishra.

“We have seized footage clearly showing a group of journalists handing over matches and some inflammable substance — which we later verified to be diesel — to the victim,” acting Gaya police chief P.K. Sinha told Reuters by telephone.

It’s really depressing that people could be this callous, this heartless. Taking advantage of someone troubled, for what? Sensational footage?

Mishra, who worked as a delivery man, was upset over what he said was a large sum of money owed to him by a state-run dairy farm whose milk he transported to customers, police said.

They handed him a flammable substance and matches, filmed this atrocity and then…

The TV crews left the scene without aiding Mishra who suffered burns to over 70 percent of his body, Sinha said.

Why would such cold-blooded bastards do this in the first place?

There has been an explosion of private TV news channels in recent years in India, each competing aggressively for exclusive stories and dramatic footage.

These channels often show graphic footage of victims of bomb blasts and other violence as well as partly blurred pictures of sex acts while exposing scandals as part of sting operations.

Continue reading →

Gautam Malkani, the author of Londonstani, has an Op-Ed in today’s New York Times that contrasts the atmosphere at the recent London Mela — a Brit-desi music festival — with the narrative of British South Asians as disgruntled and uninterested in assimilation. Malkani describes a desi culture that is truly British, and the improvements in understanding and exchange between Brit-desis and non-desi Brits — points that are often made here by members of the Sepia Mutiny UK massive like Jai, Bong Breaker, Red Snapper, Midwestern Eastender, and esteemed visitors like Sunny from Pickled Politics.

You’ll want to read the whole article: it’s short, well-written and chock full of observations and interpretations that I am sure will provoke many reactions. Here are some of the key paragraphs:

… When I was growing up in Hounslow in the 1980Â’s, these festivals used to be parochial, ethnically exclusive events. But in recent years they have become racially diverse. More important, they are no longer really festivals of South Asian culture; they celebrate British South Asian culture.

Those who stayed at home, however, were given a very different view of the state of multicultural Britain. The weekend newspapers were crammed with apocalyptic warnings about Britain’s failure to integrate its South Asian youth into mainstream society — a failure that, in light of the recent foiled terrorist plot, again appears to have left young, British-born South Asian men so disenfranchised that they are prepared to carry out mass murder against their fellow citizens.

Since the London bombings of July 7, 2005, conventional wisdom has held that when it comes to racial integration, Britain has botched it, and that our long-standing policy of promoting multiculturalism has kept us from sustaining a common, over-arching culture and national identity toward which different races and religions can feel loyal. Today it is widely accepted that there has been a trade-off between the promotion of diversity and the nationÂ’s social cohesiveness.

ItÂ’s a pity that so few of these columnists ever attended a summer mela or have any feel for our thriving desi beats scene.

It may seem absurd to focus on British South Asian hip-hop artists in the context of the threat of planes being blown out of the sky, and there are of course differences between the experiences of British Pakistani youth and British Indian youth. But because our policy of multiculturalism sometimes appears to have failed so spectacularly, we need to recognize the underappreciated — and underreported — ways in which it has succeeded.

Again, do read the whole piece. It’s an important perspective to put forward, not least for Americans who are just now tuning into the dynamics of South Asians in Britain and doing so through the lens of “homegrown terrorism” and media reports on extremist imams and alienated youth. I will be curious to read the reactions from our UK contingent to this article, as well as from everyone else. Continue reading →