Category Archives: News

“The Devil Is In The House”

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Here in New York the UN General Assembly is in session, and even from the relative safety of my garret in Harlem, it’s impossible to avoid the Sturm und Drang as world leaders, their critics and sycophants perambulate around the city, block avenues for protests or motorcades, and pop up in the media. On Wednesday Shashi Tharoor, undersecretary-general of the UN on leave and India’s candidate for the top spot, was on WNYC commenting the speeches; his is such a mellifluous, Britishized diplomatic voice that I was lulled into paying no attention at all, so I can’t tell you what he had to say. You can listen here. All I know is that Kofi Annan’s voice is a hard act to follow, but if the criterion is cosmopolitan polish, Brother Shashi got it goin’ on.

There’s interesting stuff happening at the UN this month but you won’t hear about it: like every other conference, the UN meetings are ones where the real action — private discussions between enemies, mediation of civil wars, horse-trading of all sorts — takes place in the hallways and back rooms, not in the auditorium. So we owe a huge debt of gratitude to Hugo Chavez, the irrepressible president of Venezuela, for livening things up yesterday when he stepped to the podium and said this:

The devil is right at home. The devil — the devil, himself, is right in the house.

And the devil came here yesterday.

Yesterday, the devil came here. Right here. Right here. And it smells of sulfur still today, this table that I am now standing in front of.

Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, the president of the United States, the gentleman to whom I refer as the devil, came here, talking as if he owned the world. Truly. As the owner of the world.

Now, I have no interest in getting into a discussion of the relative merits or flaws of Messrs. Bush and Chavez; last night I went to a show where a singer called politicians “all lyin’ sacks of shit” and, armed with my graduate training in political science, I can’t say I disagree. But as literature, as television, as performance, as art, this is really fantastic material. Continue reading →

Life in the Stone Age wasn’t easy

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This Sunday evening CBS’s 60 Minutes has what is promising to be an explosive interview with President Pervez Musharraf. Check out the tidbit they have leaked early:

President Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan tells Steve Kroft that after 9/11, the U.S. threatened to bomb his country if it didn’t help America’s war on terrorism.

Kroft’s interview with the Pakistani leader, in which he also discusses his embarrassment over his country’s nuclear secrets getting into the hands of other nations, will be broadcast Sunday, Sept. 24, at 7 p.m. ET/PT.

Musharraf says the threat came from then-Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage and was delivered to Musharraf’s intelligence director.

“The intelligence director told me that (Armitage) said, ‘Be prepared to be bombed. Be prepared to go back to the Stone Age,’ ” recalls Musharraf. It was insulting, he says. “I think it was a very rude remark.” But he reacted to it in a responsible way, he tells Kroft. “One has to think and take actions in the interests of the nation, and that’s what I did…” [Link]

Geez. That Armitage seems to have a big mouth. I’m sure we all figured that Pakistan was strong-armed into turning on the Taliban (as well they should have been), but hearing that such stark language was used is almost as surprising as hearing Musharraf admit it. I’m not sure how this will go over with some in the home crowd. Musharraf also admits to his most embarrassing moment as President:

“(Tenet) took his briefcase out, passed me some papers. It was a centrifuge design with all its numbers and signatures of Pakistan. It was the most embarrassing moment,” Musharraf reveals. He learned then, he says, that not only were blueprints being given to Iran and North Korea, but the centrifuges themselves — the crucial technology needed to enrich uranium to weapons grade — were being passed to them. “(Khan) gave them centrifuge designs. He gave them centrifuge parts. He gave them centrifuges.”

Despite the fact that the military was guarding Khan’s nuclear facilities and the total amount of secret material sent from the lab was more than 18 tons, Musharraf denies anyone in the government or military had to know. [Link]

Incidentally, Mr. Musharraf is stateside right now and just attended a conference with the likes of Bill Clinton and Laura Bush.

Continue reading →

The Transporter

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Recently Taz wrote about a “dreamy” new he-ro on television that in reality is just an act-or. Via our News Tab I’d like you all to focus your attention instead on a real hero. The Hill profiles Mohinder Singh, “The most trusted cabbie of Capitol Hill.” He is mild-mannered, works in the shadows, and always gets the job done.

Rule #1. Never change the deal. Transportation is a precise business.

Unlike some cab drivers in Washington, Mohinder Singh is not easily riled. No matter if passengers rob him. No matter if they swear at him in a drunken stupor.

“I never fight with a customer,” he says, through a thick Indian accent. “There’s no use to fighting. If someone says, ‘You son of a bitch,’ I say ‘Thank you.’ You cannot make me mad easily…” [Link]

Bruce Banner could learn a thing or two about anger management from Mohinder.

But Singh, 56, clean-cut in a white oxford shirt and khakis, is no typical cabbie. [Link]

Of course! Would I have bothered writing a post about him if that is all he was?

In the past several years, however, Singh has hit a stride, accumulating a famous D.C. clientele that takes him to the homes of some of Washington’s political elite who include Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chairman Howard Dean (better known to Singh as “Mr. Howard,”) former Texas Gov. Ann Richards and Reps. Grace Napolitano (D-Calif.), Rubén Hinojosa (D-Texas), Barbara Lee (D-Calif.) and Tim Bishop (D-N.Y.)…

Singh says he accumulated his clientele accidentally. One day he picked up a woman from Southeast who needed to be driven to American University. She told him how hard it was for her to get a cab. So he gave her his number, and for seven to eight months he drove her whenever she called.

“I didn’t know who she was,” he says, explaining that he later found out that she worked for the DNC. The next thing he knew, word traveled fast and Dean’s people came calling. [Link]

Let the record show that Ennis suggested that I title this post “Driving Mr. DNC.” Continue reading →

The Aunt Jemima Problem

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Here’s the problem in a nutshell. If you’re a CEO of an iconic brand, do you modernize the branding of your product if it is associated with a country’s racist history? If so, how do you do this without either losing brand recognition or whitewashing the past?

The original label

In 1885, Camp Coffee started producing a liquid coffee and chickory concentrate. They marketed the product by associating it with the coffee that kept Imperial soldiers fueled in the mornings:

To ensure Victorian consumers got the message that they were drinking the same treacly caffeine concentrate designed to fortify soldiers subduing the colonies, the kilted Gordon Highlander was shown being brought his drink by a Sikh manservant. [Link]

Of course, times change. The sun went down on the British empire, dusky Britons moved in and took over the cornershops. They weren’t quite as fond of this label as Victorian customers were.

So, in the 1980s, a compromise was reached:

In the 1980s, the label was moved to the back and later the Sikh bearer’s tray was removed but he remained standing. [Link]

This new label was a bit bizarre. It had the Sikh servant with his fist up, like he was about to punch the Scottish officer in his face.

The newest label

For some reason, after taking away his tray, they didn’t think to have him relax his hands at all. [picture after the fold, or click on the link].

Of course, this didn’t last either. Brown people being uppity like they are, they wanted yet more:

Recently, several Asian shopkeepers threatened to stop putting the liquid coffee and chicory concentrate on their shelves unless the label was changed. After such threats and pressure from race equality groups, the manufacturers have had the scene radically redrawn to show the two men sitting side by side. [Link]

So the label was finally changed to the anachronistic image of the officer and his batman sitting down for coffee together. While this might be a useful image for today’s multicultral UK, it’s absurd to imagine that it might have happened back in the day. Continue reading →

Geniuses! Get Yer Desi Geniuses Herrre!

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Atul Gawande and Shahzia Sikander are among the 25 recipients of this year’s MacArthur Foundation grants, announced yesterday. The MacArthurs, widely known as “genius grants,” give the winners $500,000 over five years, with no strings attached. You don’t apply for a MacArthur; it just turns up. It’s really a beautiful thing.

Two other things of beauty: First, the fact that the MacArthur committee makes brilliant choices that reflect a whole range of human endeavor, and isn’t afraid to reward young “geniuses” — many recipients are in their 30s. And second, the style of the foundation’s epigrammatic citations, which are concise and finely crafted:

Atul Gawande: Surgeon/Author applying a critical eye and fresh perspective to modern surgical practice, articulating its realities, complexities, and challenges, in the interest of improving outcomes and saving lives.

Shahzia Sikander: Painter merging the traditional South Asian art of miniature painting with contemporary forms and styles to create visually compelling, resonant works on multiple scales and in a dazzling array of media.

The full list of winners is here. Gawande, 40, is a surgeon, an innovator in surgery ethics and technique, a staff writer for the New Yorker, and a columnist for the New England Journal of Medicine. Oh, and he’s also the author of the best-seller Complications, which Amardeep blogged about here. Sikander, 37, is a New York-based painter who trained in the art of miniatures at the National College of Art in Lahore and re-imagines the form in work that extends into digital media. Congratulations to the full crop of this year’s Geniuses and massive props to Atul and Shahzia! Continue reading →

Desi Accented Pirate Talk

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Growing up in Southern California, and I’m sure Chick Pea will concur, one often grows up with an unnatural obsession with certain Disneyland rides. For me, it was always the Pirates of the Caribbean which has subsequently fostered an unnatural obsession with all things skull and crossbones. This is why it should come as no surprise that, me mateys, tis is International Talk Like Pirate Day!

At first an inside joke between two friends, the holiday gained exposure when Baur and Summers sent a letter about their invented holiday to the American syndicated humor columnist Dave Barry in 2002. Barry liked the idea and promoted the day. There have been reports that this holiday was being celebrated in the New Zealand town of Wainuiomata at least as early as 2000, after local media reported the existence of Talk Like A Pirate Day. [wiki]

Ahoy, me hearty! Today, feel liberated to say, “Avast!” and “Arrr!” and “That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.” Go on, wear your eye patch and drink some grog at the local (desi-owned) pirate bar. Rent the Depp-makes-pirates-sexy movie of the moment, Pirates of the Caribbean, and sing along with a “Yo, ho!”

All this pirate talk made me wonder, arrrrre there South Asian pirates? Arre, matey, there arrrre…

The Mogul’s trade fleets went into the Red Sea and Persian Gulf with fabrics, ivory, and spices; attack of Mogul ship they returned with the abundant gold and silver of exchange…Topping the list were the abundant prizes of the various East Indian Company ventures, which carried off luxurious silks, ivory, jewels, and proceeds from import.

With deterioration of effective naval patrol or protection, the pickings were ripe from Cochin and Calcutta in the South, through the Portuguese trade port of Goa, to Bombay and Surat farther north. Bombay became the focal point of a most successful family-run pirate enterprise as the Angria clan gained control of the surrounding area. They established their main fortress of Vijayadurg (Severndroog) as one of several island bases south of Bombay. [link]

The most infamous pirate of the Indian Ocean was Kanhoji Angre, died in 1792.

Kanhoji initially started by attacking merchant ships of the British East India Company and slowly gained notoriety and power. When Maratha Chattrapati Shahu ascended the leadership of the Maratha kingdom, he appointed Balaji Viswanath Bhatt as his Senakarta (‘Commander’), and negotiated an agreement with Angre around 1707. This was partly to appease Angre who supported the other ruler who claimed the Maratha throne, Tarabai…Kanhoji Angre stands alone in the Indian list of early freedom fighters as the one person who stood undefeated and inflicted many casualties on colonial powers. [wiki]

Arrrrr. Now that’s what I call a real mutiny. A true Sepia Mutineer to the corrrre. For more desi pirate stories, thar be 20th – century John Boysie Singh, and Gurkha repelling pirates last year. But with all this talk of accents, I wonder what a desi-accented pirate talk sounds like. Arrrr-ay?

Continue reading →

‘Kal’ Starring in Rap Opera ‘The Avon Lady’

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Without LonelyGirl15 to satiate our YouTube obsession anymore, the viral video land has been somewhat quiet. That is until The Avon Lady hit the inter-waves (thanks, MadGuru).

That’s right kiddies, starring in this insanity of a rap opera video with a dinosaur Avon lady is our very own Kal Penn (as well as Superman Brandon Routh as the cop). There is a perfectly good explanation why the video is trying to be the next ‘Lazy Sunday’— because it is housed out of the same group of filmmakers of said SNL fame, The Lonely Island.

The Lonely Island is a group of filmmakers, founded in 2001 by Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone and Andy Samberg… The Lonely Island has created numerous comedic films, shorts, parody songs, and music videos. They have made three full-length pilots, all of which have been rejected…The site also includes a blog from Chester Tam, often referred to as Chez. The blog, titled “Chez Chat”, gives humorous summaries of the site’s updates. [wiki]

Watch, comment, enjoy. As for me, Chez’s you tube videos and podcasts are my new inter-addiction. I cannot wait for Part II and some more Kal Penn in speaking roles.

Continue reading →

Caste no bar

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Has everyone heard about the Indian government’s new plan to help erase the scourge that is the ages-old caste system? If I may offer my humble opinion…I think it is sheer brilliance. Check it:

THE Indian Government is offering 50,000 rupees (£580) to higher-caste people who marry spouses from the lowest castes in its latest controversial effort to dismantle the ancient Hindu social hierarchy…

The proposed bonus is a small fortune in a country where average annual income per capita is £280, and where official corruption is rampant. [Link]

This new incentive is making me consider taking a trip to India to find my bride. Let’s face reality. I have a lot of factors working against my search for a bride/girlfriend here in the U.S., and frankly, they are making my life miserable.

  1. I am not getting any younger
  2. I have a mountain of debt from my undergraduate years
  3. My parents insist “it is time”
  4. I blog

I do have one HUGE advantage working for me however. I am Brahmin. Why not use it? I am sure there are quite a few lower-caste girls with “good features” that will do just fine. If it helps pay down my college debt then I am not going to complain about it one bit. Besides, I hear that lower-caste girls aren’t nearly as uppity and are FAR more reasonable. Just listen:

Meira Kumar, the Social Justice Minister, who is from a lower caste, defended the plan yesterday before meeting officials from the 28 Indian states to persuade them to approve it.

“Yes, I know this is not the only way to end the caste discrimination, but one has to start somewhere,” she said. “All proposals have initial hiccups. That does not mean that we give them up.” Ever since independence in 1947, Indian governments have tried in vain to break down the complex caste system, which divides society into hereditary hierarchical groups. [Link]

There is one additional advantage that I possess which makes this plan especially appealing to me. I’m Guju:

But the amount differs from state to state – in Gujarat a couple gets the full $1,100 (50,000 rupees) – whereas in West Bengal state the amount is $45. [Link]

Ha Ha! Sucks to be an upper-caste West Bengali.

Continue reading →

E-Tamil-ogy

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This was going to be a post about the dreaded E word (“exotic,” in case you’ve erased it from your memory) and its usage on me the other day, accompanied by excessive and unwelcome flirtation. However, recalling the incident renders me ill and sorely tempted to post the guy’s name and contact information here – bad move.

Instead, I’ll celebrate the language percolated down from my ancestors – Tamil, and its offerings to English – and linguistics in general. No, I don’t mean Tam-glish, with terms like shamachu-fy1 or “An’one see my pie?”2 but actual English words that originate in Tamil like catamaran and orange. Tamil Contributions To The English Language contains a list of terms derived from Tamil. The crux of this post is not glorifying Tamil, as the list seems to (“the great antiquity of the Tamil civilization”), but to celebrate the transmutation of language, all languages, when in contact with another. Our ancestors got around a lot more than the current understanding of history allows for and this is evident in language. While physical proof of such contact has been absent, destroyed or undiscovered, how we communicate via our vocal chords is the living evidence of cultural evolution.

For instance, the Italian word for key is chiavi, also the Tamil word for the same item (chaavi – Hindi, llave – Spanish, taste – German, tecla chave – Portuguese, clef – French, nøkkel – Norwegian, sleutel – Dutch). There is one of two possibilities for this coincidence – that the word was coined in one place and carried to another, or that the same word was invented separately in two different places to describe the same thing. Given that a significant majority of the world speaks Indo-European languages, I vote for the former theory.

Language is fascinating, as are dialect, accent and semantics. I feel honored to live in a part of the United States where so many collide. The ethnic geography of Brooklyn on the Bayou is so intricate that navigating it requires the knowledge of several Romance languages and a few African ones, too. In the end, you get used to the speak and the fact that we’re all in the same pot of gumbo no matter where we originated.

1 Shamachu-fy: To cook. I’d love to go out, but have to shamachu-fy for relatives arriving tomorrow.
2 An’one see my pie?: Has anyone seen my bag? Continue reading →

Montreal slaughter nutcase was desi

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kimveergill.jpgThe individual pictured here is Kimveer Gill, who walked into Dawson College in Montreal yesterday, dressed in black from head to toe and carrying what witnesses described as a “huge machine gun,” and opened fire, killing an 18-year-old woman and critically injuring at least five other people. Gill died in the incident, shot either by police or by himself. Gill, who left a wealth of information about himself at his page on vampirefreaks.com (username: fatality666) was 25 and desi:

Gill, who is known to other users on the website as Fatality666, describes himself as Indian, 6-foot-one, who was born in Montreal on July 9, 1981.

Gill wasn’t just your typical deranged guy with violent fantasies. He was obsessed with guns and knives and posted numerous photos of himself armed online. He enjoyed a videogame based on the Columbine massacre. His “personality quiz” on the site matched him with Adolf Hitler, Satanism, the Angel of Death, werewolves, and other morbid connections. He boasted of his whisky drinking. And so on:

“I think I have an obbsetion (sic) with guns . . . muahahaha,” is the inscription below another picture of Gill aiming the barrel of the gun at the camera.

“Anger and hatred simmers within me,” said another caption below a head shot of Gill grimacing.

The site also has lengthly lists of likes and dislikes. On the “likes” list are: first-person-shooter video games, “Super Psycho Maniacs roaming the streets freely,” massacres, trenchcoats, destruction and “crushing my enemies skulls.”

He also shows a penchant for semi-automatic handguns, combat shotguns, sawed-off shotguns, assault rifles and myriad other weapons.

He dislikes: “The world and everything in it.”

“But to be more specific,” he continues, he hates jocks, preps, country music, Hip Hop, “all those who oppose my rule.”

Gill seems to harbour particular disdain for authority, including police, “all the government on Earth,” “bible-thumping know-it-alls” and God.

The desi angle in this story is, as they say, developing: We know nothing about Gill’s life story yet. But he was desi, and we report the good and the bad here. We’ve also talked about desi goths, though this guy was clearly mentally ill, not a “normal” goth. This story also reminds us of how much evidence of psychopathic or violent intentions resides in plain sight on the Internet. You could look at this guy’s web postings as cries of pain that weren’t heard by anyone other than a small echo chamber of people with similar inclinations. Lots of trees fall in this forest every day; few are heard.

Kimveer Gill put up an image of a tombstone and epitaph on his web page: “Lived fast died young. Left a mangled corpse.” Well, he left two — his own and that of an innocent young woman, with five more struggling to survive. Continue reading →