Category Archives: News

Tonsil Hockey

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About a half-dozen tipsters, starting with Seema, wanted us to point out this little tidbit in a New York Times Op-Ed published this morning:

Give me some tongue baby

SINCE it’s Valentine’s Day, let’s dwell for a moment on the profoundly bizarre activity of kissing. Is there a more expressive gesture in the human repertoire?…

All across Africa, the Pacific and the Americas, we find cultures that didn’t know about mouth kissing until their first contact with European explorers. And the attraction was not always immediately apparent. Most considered the act of exchanging saliva revolting. Among the Lapps of northern Finland, both sexes would bathe together in a state of complete nudity, but kissing was regarded as beyond the pale…

If kissing is not universal, then someone must have invented it. Vaughn Bryant, an anthropologist at Texas A&M, has traced the first recorded kiss back to India, somewhere around 1500 B.C., when early Vedic scriptures start to mention people “sniffing” with their mouths, and later texts describe lovers “setting mouth to mouth.” From there, he hypothesizes, the kiss spread westward when Alexander the Great conquered the Punjab in 326 B.C. [Link]

Well who would have thought? In addition to writing the Kama Sutra we can now take partial credit for kissing! The Hindu right-wing activists are going to go into shock when they see this (or at least they will try and keep it out of California textbooks). For the rest of this week I plan to honor my forefathers by exchanging as much saliva as possible. Who is with me?

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The state of union

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In Jharkand, saffronists have hit upon a new way of ‘encouraging’ marriage: shotgun (or, in this case, lathi stick) weddings. But raksha bandhan is months away:

Hindu right-wing activists in Jharkhand claimed to have married off five romancing couples on Valentine’s Day Tuesday, saying they were celebrating the day even though it was against Indian culture… At the rock garden, three couples were spotted. Two of them were made to move around a banyan tree and take an oath of marriage – in a symbolic wedding…

Activists of the Akhil Bharatiya Vidyarthi Parishad (ABVP) even forced a couple to tie the symbolic brother-sister thread of rakhi when they refused to get married. [Link]

Some students were flippant about it:

The move is now being welcomed by courting couples, who are thanking the moral police for adding velocity to Cupid’s arrows. “It is indeed good news. We must thank them for being concerned about our marriages,” said Ruchika, a student of a management institute in this Jharkhand capital. “My parents will finally come to know about my love.”

Priya, an engineering student, echoed similar sentiments, saying: “I hope they stick to their word and ensure my marriage with my boyfriend…” [Link]

But the saffronists couldn’t even stay consistent:

… even Saamna, the [Shiv] Sena’s mouthpiece, could not resist cashing in on the spirit of love by publishing an article on possible gifts to buy your beloved today. [Link]

In Delhi and Srinagar, more political theater, yawn. Funny how the saffronists are a mirror image of Muslim fundamentalists:

About 50 Hindu activists wearing holy saffron-coloured scarves held a noisy protest in a popular market near the Delhi University campus… They burnt greeting cards which they were carrying and shouted “Down with Valentine’s Day”. [Link]

About two dozen women separatists, veiled in black from head to toe, rummaged shops and burnt Valentine’s Day cards in Srinagar, Kashmir’s summer capital… “Valentine’s Day spreads immorality among the youth,” Asiya Andrabi of the Dukhtaran-e-Milat (Daughters of the Muslim Faith), a group of women separatists, said in a statement. [Link]

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Fasting, feasting

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On this unholiest of days, I thought I’d share 2.0 passages about coupling from 1.5-gen books. Lavanya Sankaran takes joy in the idea that dilly-dallying men deserve what they get in The Red Carpet:

And certainly, a convent-educated accent was an asset… This involved, primarily, keeping our knees together… Innocent of the depredations of Man (or Boy), at least until their parental duty was done. Delivered, one girl, unsullied, to the marital bed. Her price far above rubies…

For a decade, it seemed, [the bachelors] had been festooned with women, all sorts, from the cute, the silly, the please-domesticate-mes, to the independent, the fiery, the I’ll-sleep-with-but-won’t-love-yous, and further beyond, to the Plainly Bizarre. And they had frolicked and gamboled with happy abandon, and no awareness of the fate that quietly awaited them…

All those women, those sillys, those feistys, those Saturday-night mainstays, had simply vanished. All of them. Together. Birdlike, in a great migratory movement… these chicks had flown. They had married, dispersed, dehydrated. [Link]

In Moth Smoke, Mohsin Hamid’s East Village/Karachi romance ends more happily:

I lost my virginity in New York, twice (the second one had wanted to believe he was the first so badly)…

The scene is the East Village, a little before midnight, on the steps of a fourth-floor walk-up on Avenue A. The date is important… Halloween… So there I am, trudging up the steps… when I see this cute desi guy in a white shirt and black trousers, looking ridiculously out of place but very comfortable at the same time… He catches my eye as I pass and says “Hi,” but I ignore him, because the last thing I want to deal with tonight is some conservative boy from the homeland with nothing to say…

But at some point (you saw this coming) I find myself on the fire escape with the brown boy I’d seen before. We’re dancing, just the two of us, and his name is Ozi and he’s wickedly sexy, and what the hell, we spend the night together…

He proposed during a snowstorm in March, looking cold as only a Pakistani man in America can… Before I knew it, I was showing him off at South Asian Student Association parties, enjoying the horrified jealousy on the faces of my prim and proper colleagues. Yes, Mumtaz, that slut, had bagged herself a prince, which meant there was one less out there for them…

The summer after we graduated… we were married in Karachi by the sea. [Link]

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A Rouge Affair

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I know that L.A. area mutineers have been pushing for a SM meet-up. I admit that I am a horrible host and haven’t been able to step up to the plate as of yet. I am in the middle of grad-school hell right now as my research has been getting some attention in the press of late, otherwise I’d be all about the meet-up. In the meantime let me draw your attention to Artwallah’s kick-off/benefit party this Thursday night. I will certainly be there and so should you:

Dance, Drink and Revel with DJs and Visual Artists for our first ArtWallah Event of 2006, this Thursday, February 16th !

Come paint the town red…
Venue: Fais Do Do
Address: 5257 West Adams Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90016
Time: Doors open at 9:30 pm
Tickets: $13 in Advance at www.groovetickets.com
$18 at the door, $15 if you wear red

Music by:
Tej Gill – “Regarded as one of the original South Asian DJ’s in L.A., TejGill brings together Electronic Dance Music and Classical Indian Rhythms to create enigmatic DJ sets. You can find out more as well as hear samples from “The Message” – a limited edition E.P., at www.GillometerMusic.com.”

Gabe Abraham – Gabe Abraham founded didJital as a vehicle for sharing the Asian Massive and world electronica movement with Los Angeles, bringing internationally known artists such as Cheb i Sabbah, Karsh Kale, and Banco de Gaia to the nightclub scene. Part Indian himself, it was a natural progression for him to hear traditional South Asian sounds fused with electronic beats.
www.didjital.com/sounds.html (check out the world groove mix)
www.cirqueberzerk.com

RokFresh: Whets the palate and warms the dancefloor with sultry rhythms and soul creating a loungey vibe of electronica and down tempo, mixing multiple genres of music.

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What do you think of Dilip? Isn’t he dreamy?

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In a post that I wrote a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that Maryland’s incumbent Republican Governor Robert Ehrlich was spotted trying to drum up Indian American votes (for his re-election) at an India Republic Day event in Greenbelt, MD. Politicians usually get a free pass at these functions. The star-struck desi uncles that play host, mostly just want their pictures taken with the candidate so that they can brag about how successful they are. Thankfully, we have dedicated South Asian journalists to report on the real policy issues that interest you and I. Rediff-India Abroad reports:

In an exclusive interview with rediff-India Abroad Managing Editor Aziz Haniffa, [Ehrlich] acknowledges that the catalytic contributions of the Indian American community were a major boon to the burgeoning economy of the state.

Ehrlich, who has never visited India but plans to do so soon, said he was elated over the transformed US-India relationship. “As India becomes and assumes more of a world power status, it’s incumbent upon both countries to not just re-establish, but increase levels of cooperation,” he said.

Well…I suppose getting the “Have you ever been to India?” question out of the way is okay, as long as he additionally asks some tough policy questions. After all, the whole PURPOSE of interviewing Ehrlich should be to highlight his stance on key issues that affect Indian-Americans voters in Maryland. Here are some of the questions:

  • One of your most senior aides, Dilip Paliath, has announced his candidacy to run for the legislative assembly from District 42 and you have, I believe, endorsed him. My question is, will you be on the stump for him at some of his campaign stops?
  • And you believe Dilip is a winning candidate?
  • What would you say to the Indian American community in supporting Dilip and any other young candidates who may come along? The so-called leaders of the community have this insatiable propensity for photo-ops, contribute handsomely to their campaigns, but when it comes to someone running for public office, it’s almost impossible to convince them to put their money where their mouth is.
  • Dilip serves in a senior position in your administration but there aren’t any other Indian Americans in cabinet-level positions in your administration. Several governors I’ve interviewed always say they would love to have some of the qualified Indian Americans in their administration but many of them make so much money in the private sector that it’s hard to coax them to serve in the public sector. Have you faced the same problem?
  • Have you been to India, and if not, do you intend to visit India soon? [Link]

So let me summarize what has just happened here. Rediff-India Abroad is giving the Republican Governor free publicity, which will translate to at least a few more votes on election day, and all they really want to know in return is what Ehrlich thinks of Dilip Paliath, and whether or not any more brown folks might serve in Ehrlich’s second administration. This is exactly the reason why I blog on SM and why Rediff-India Abroad is useless to my demographic. I don’t f*cking care what Ehrlich thinks about Paliath. I want to know how his policies will affect Indian-Americans if he is elected to another term. Continue reading →

You know everything’s changed when…

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You know everything’s changed when you see a black kid wearing this throwback varsity jacket on the subway and realize that…

  1. After 7/7, you could never wear it on the subway, and

  2. Subway cops are now inaccurately suspicious more of you than of him
Fritz Pollard formed this African-American football team ([New York Brown Bombers], named for African-American heavyweight boxer Joe Louis) after the NFL adopted a policy of segregation. [Link]

… the Brown Bombers [were] a professional team that played in Harlem for three highly successful seasons – funded by a loan from John D. Rockefeller Jr., a friend from Pollard’s days at Brown. The Bombers’ roster was a Who’s Who of black athletes at the time, including players from basketball and baseball leagues as well as former NFL stars. The Depression and the war ended the Brown Bombers’ run in 1938. [Link]

By the way, the Brown Bombers jacket is not actually a bomber jacket, and the Brown Bombers are not the same as the Bronx Bombers, the Brooklyn Bombers or the London bombers.

Related post: Worst timing ever

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Brown V-day Haikus

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I wanted to tell you about an cool V-day haiku contest that my friends over at Breakupgirl.net have put together (yes, there are prizes). Being me, I’m naturally informing you about it on IST, right up against the deadline. Submit your best valentines day efforts here, according to these rules:

The 411 on 5-7-5

With this contest, we honor the noble Japanese poetic form — the demure yet powerful haiku — as the only literary vehicle with the suppleness to master the depths and breadths of woo and rue that blossom at this black/magic time of year. Turn your insights and/or outrage into subtle poly-syllabic philosophies that follow this timeless equation: 5 + 7 + 5 = 17. To demonstrate:

First, five syllables.
Then, seven in the middle.
See? That’s seventeen!

Entries will be accepted until Saturday, February 11 at 12 midnight, and the winning haikus will be unfurled on February 14 for all to see. [Link]

Submit your entries to the contest and leave your submissions in the comments as well. I’m playing around with a few desi-themed ideas:

Her dal was tasty
Hungrily, I married her
It was all takeout

Spicy! Exotic!
Was this a personals ad,
or a Times story?

Not great, but I just came up with them now. You might find greater inspiration by looking at some of the past winners:

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Bollywood Actress Nadira Passes Away

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One of Bollywood’s only Jewish actresses has died. Born Florence Ezekiel but known as Nadira, she starred in ‘Aan’, ‘Shree 420’, ‘Dil Apna Preet Parayee’ and later ‘Julie’. _41313138_nadira203.jpg

From the BBC:

Veteran Bollywood actress Nadira, 75, has passed away in Mumbai (Bombay) after a prolonged illness.
Tributes have been pouring in for the former star, who is best remembered for her role in the film, Shri 420.

She had a golden career:

She had won several awards in a career spanning 50 years.
She will be best known for her portrayal of a Westernised woman and her arched eyebrows. Many critics considered her to be far ahead of her times.

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Brown civil liberties update

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From DNSI, three stories about both significant violence and institutional discrimination that we wouldn’t face if we were in the “mainstream.” For those of you who’ve asked if I still feel threatened as a brown Sikh living in America, the answer is, yes I do. Stories like this are why.

First, an 80 year old Sikh man was assaulted in California and fractured his pelvis:

The attack took place … on January 21 when Harbans Singh, a turbaned Sikh, was riding a bike from Guru Nanak Sikh Temple … to his home… According to Singh, four or five occupants of a maroon-colored Chevrolet Tahoe sports utility vehicle hurled rocks and racial epithets at him from the back. Fortunately, the rocks did not hit him, so he ignored it… The men were described as Hispanic or white between 25 to 30 years old, she said…

The vehicle overtook Singh’s bicycle and stopped at a corner, where one man got out and pushed Singh off his bicycle. A bystander called an ambulance, assuming this was an accident when she saw him lying on the road. [Link]

The attack is a major surprise given the size and deep roots of the Sikh community in the Yuba-Marysville area:

A hate crime against an 80-year-old Sikh in Yuba City in California has taken the community there surprise and shock, given that it is the first time such an incident has happened there, where 10 percent of the residents are Sikhs with a history of almost a century behind them in the city. [Link]

Now I know that people can be cruel and enjoy the suffering of others, but it makes my blood boil to think of people making sport out of causing harm to an 80 year old man!

Furthermore, the attackers were dangerously foolhardy. Yuba City is the closest you can come to rural Punjab in the USA. Although only 10% of the population, Sikhs have been there for a long time, and own a lot of the land. They are not afraid of asserting themselves. I hope the perpetrators turn themselves in or are caught by the police before somebody local catches up with them and meets out rough justice, village style.

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Re-cap of the SAAN conference

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As mentioned before, this past weekend I was invited to speak at the South Asian Alliance Network conference at the University of Michigan. The conference organizers, in what MUST have been a drug-induced haze, asked me to give the kickoff address for the day. The speaker’s packet that I was sent contained a brief note about what the kickoff speech should include. Here is an excerpt:

Attendees of my workshop (a.k.a victims)

This is a brief overview of what we would like you to discuss in your kickoff address. Please use your own expertise and background when creating this speech. The goal of this speech is to excite the participants for the upcoming day; the points that follow are simply ideas that are intended to guide your thought process.

  • An anecdote to energize/excite participants for the day ahead

  • Inspirational quote/saying

Whoa! As you can imagine I was nervous as all hell. I haven’t had to inspire or excite people since…well, ever I guess. The speech went alright however, and I did not trip getting on OR off the stage. I was then going to Live Blog the conference for the consumption of SM readers, but it was so damn engrossing that I kept my laptop in its case, and decided to selfishly attend the workshops instead. My workshop was titled “Get up, get out, and get moving”:

Authors, comedians, lyricists, poets, painters, and sculptors – the list goes on – are all part of the process to develop society. This workshop explores how these individuals find the inspiration to carry out such enormous tasks and whether these professions well-suited to activism. Learn from the very real stories of these accomplished individuals who have a dynamic role in society.

Obviously I fell into “the list goes on” category . It was a good workshop. I miss being an undergrad. These attendees were all smart as hell and a lot more engaged than I remember being. I think I have come to see the University of Michigan as a Utopian bubble where anything is possible, especially if you are a member of the South Asian community. I am going to make a bold (albeit biased) prediction that 20 years from now there will be many South Asian alumni from Michigan that are running this country. To give you an idea of how special this conference was, there was EVEN Ohio State representation.

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