In the 80s, whenever I was asked the question, “Who’s the Boss?” I had only one answer: Alyssa! The perfect combination of spunk, smarts, and good looks. Or so I thought. My dream is officially dead. ExpressIndia.com reports:

SheÂ’s the fourth sexiest woman in the world according to FHM magazine and popularly known as the seductive Phoebe Haliwell of the witch trio in Charmed. But for the past four days, actor Alyssa Milano has shed her screen image to step into the role of UNICEFÂ’s ambassador to India.

Hair held back with a white crochet band, palms decorated with bridal henna she strolls out of a Chillout session with Cyrus Broacha at MTV’s Parel studio. ‘‘I’ve wanted to come to India ever since I was young,’’ says the Pandit Ravi Shankar fan, who also dabbles in Buddhism and Hinduism.

While in Los Angeles, the actor regularly visits a regression therapist who told her that in a past life, she was friends with Lord Krishna. ‘‘I was also completely at ease with my wardrobe here, because I wear a lot of kurtas back home as well,’’ says the yoga addict who read five books on Indian history in preparation for her visit.

With nine-hour work schedules, this was no pleasure trip. The only party she attended was a small do, attended by Rahul Bose and Farooque Shaikh. ‘‘I couldn’t believe actors from Bollywood were so short,’’ she laughs.

Ugh. Who will I lust for now? I hope Alyssa’s mom doesn’t sue me for this like she has others.

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(But Suresh Venkatasubramanian can): Sunil Laxman says there are advantages to the desi approach of by-hearting your maths. Namely that you don’t look like an idiot when asked to multiply two small numbers.

My wife went to the bank yesterday to make a simple cash deposit… in two $100 bills, and nine $20 bills…

“Hey John, what’s 9*20? There’s some problem with my computer.” My wife’s standing there, and her jaw drops… Meanwhile, John’s breaking into a sweat.

“Uh….I’m not sure….9 times 20 is….”

My wife’s getting impatient… “One hundred and eighty,” she says.

John looks at her in awe, and says, “I think you’re right! You must be really good with numbers…”

I’m in awe of the cashiers in little, obscure banks in India (State Bank of Mysore, anyone?) who count faster than you can key in the numbers into a calculator.

This kind of innumeracy is my father’s favorite story about the American education system, right after ‘we were multiplying six-digit numbers in first grade’ (which he inflicted on me) and a Ramanujan-like story where he nearly solves an unsolvable problem, awing the textbook author over parcel post.

Of course, the genius of America is that its systems are so good, you can run a bank with tellers who can’t do math 😉

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Just a reminder to set your TiVos because Wednesday night FX will air the “30 days” episode that I blogged about a few weeks ago. In the episode a white Christian man will live for 30 days as a Muslim man in America, to see what it feels like when people stop being polite and start getting real. I am a little hesitant to watch this episode because I tend to be very impresionable. During the first season of Alias I was so convinced that I was Sidney Bristow’s CIA handler that I kept meeting her for dead-drops in the middle of the night. She never showed up. Will other viewers like myself suddenly feel like becoming Muslim for 30 days?

Well, it turns out that organizers in Lodi, CA (yes, that Lodi) are planning a million Muslim march. Some would say they are doing so after being manipulated into it by a conservative talk show host. WebIndia123.com reports:

Plans are under way for an anti-terror Million Muslim March in Lodi, Calif., inspired by challenges from a controversial Sacramento radio talk show host.

Since five Lodi-area Pakistani men were arrested for lying to federal authorities about terror camp training two weeks ago, KFBK-AM personality Mark Williams has repeatedly challenged the Muslim community to publicly denounce terrorism.

Mayor John Beckman took Williams up on the offer, and offered to help organize the march in late July, the Sacramento Bee said Wednesday.

Anyways, after tomorrow night’s show I have a feeling that I’ll be drawn north for the march. That might be just what the CIA wants. Continue reading →

…and others go to summer band camp. I and probably at least 1 on other mutineer did some time at Debate camp (I’m a geek and I’m at peace with it, so back off). Bela Karolyi’s gymnastics school and Nick Bollettieri’s tennis camp have almost legendary records of producing champions. Well, for a new generation of Desi overachievers, it’s now the after-school spelling circuit–

An immigrant from Andhra Pradesh, India, Chitturi noticed that language barriers and a traditional cultural emphasis on science and engineering were limiting Indian success to the field of mathematics, neglecting the reading and writing skills that compose a large portion of standardized tests that are crucial to college admission. Concerned that lower results in these areas were impeding immigrant success in the United States, Chitturi expanded the North South Foundation – an organization he founded in 1989 to fund scholarships for students in India – to include small competitions in spelling and vocabulary for Indian children in the United States. Since its expansion in 1993, the foundation has spawned 60 volunteer-run chapters across the country that each host annual regional spelling competitions for Indians. The regional winners compete in the foundation’s national spelling bee, gaining experience that contributes heavily to their success in the Scripps competition. Chitturi estimated that half of the Indian competitors in the Scripps bee, the nation’s largest and longest-running spelling contest, have passed through NSF, including 2003 champion Sai Gunturi of Dallas.

Now, I dunno about you, but I sorta visualize that underground tournament scene in just about all martial arts flix. The one where fighters from across the country gather while surrounded by hoards of half-drunk Chinese / Thai / Korean day laborers clutching their bets in hand and screaming at the top of their lungs – “Spell! Spell! Spell!” After the contenders duke it out, they present themselves before the previous year’s champion who occupies a seat of honor in the center next to his white-haired sansei. With a silent nod and raise of his eyebrow, he assigns the fates of the challengers. But that could just be me.

My Sunday afternoon desi youth program back in the day was a bunch of kids, half of whom managed to get injured in the lowest intensity, uncle-supervised tug-of-war match on the planet. The other group of kids were out behind our toolshed-cum-community center talking smack like they grew up in the projects, splitting 6-packs they smuggled in under their jackets (why else would you wear a friggin’ parka in Houston?) and swapping Tupac bootlegs – and that was just the girls.

Perhaps there is hope for the future afterall. Continue reading →