Swab-in-cheek wisdom

When I was a kid, I used to devour comic books about Indian mythology. One of the best set of stories was about Birbal, the wise chief minister in emperor Akbar’s court. The Birbal-of-the-comic-books used to take the piss out of the wealthy, pompous and illogical with cleverness and humor.

One of the tales I remember was a story, pretty much identical to the one from King Solomon, where two different women claimed to be the mother of a single baby. Birbal ordered that the baby be cut in half and shared between the women. One of the supplicants begged him to stop and gave up her struggle, and her love for the child revealed her as the true mother.

These days, gene sequencers dispense justice like modern-day Birbals:

Sri Lankan authorities say DNA results have confirmed the identity of a baby who was found alive in the rubble of the tsunami disaster. Nicknamed “Baby 81,” the toddler was the subject of a desperate eight-week custody battle involving as many as nine couples… Nine couples claimed the child was theirs, but only Murugupillai Jeyarajah and his wife Jenita followed through, providing DNA samples.

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When good kids happen to bad parents

In case there’s any confusion, adopting a child from India is nothing like buying an end table from Target — you do not get to return the former if he or she does not work out in your home.

Shockingly enough, there are otherwise intelligent and reasonable adults who do not grasp this distinction. On a recent episode of “Dr. Phil,” the underlying point needed to be drilled home to Melissa and Bobby, a married couple that adopted a child from India named AJ:

When they brought AJ home, things were not what they expected. “He did not want to be held by us. He would cry and kick and scream whenever we tried to hold him,” Melissa explains. “We’re kind of like, ‘What happened? Where did things go wrong?’ I do not love AJ and I wonder if I ever will.”

Melissa and Bobby also learned that AJ has special needs. “I feel resentful. I didn’t bargain for that,” says Melissa. “I’ve told him, ‘I wish we never adopted you,’ and I call him stupid. I thought I would grow to love him, but I feel like I’m forcing myself to love him.”

There are two things in this world that you just don’t f–k with:
1. Wu-Tang Clan (obviously)
2. Dr. Phil

The imposing Texan laid the smackdown on Melissa, and made hapless Bobby watch, ’cause that’s how Dr. Phil rolls:

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If I had a thousand words

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Indian photographer Arko Datta has won the prestigious 2004 World Press Photo Award for his picture of this Indian woman genuflecting in absolute sorrow at the death of a relative killed in the Asian tsunami. The Voice of America reports:

The picture, taken by Reuters photographer Arko Datta, shows a woman lying on sandy ground with her hands turned toward the sky. The hand of a dead relative is visible nearby.

The photo, taken in Cuddalore in India’s Tamil Nadu state two days after the December 26 tsunami, was one of nearly 70,000 pictures submitted by professional photographers from 123 countries.

One of the judges, Kathy Ryan from The New York Times called the image graphic, historic and starkly emotional.

Mr. Datta will receive the distinguished award, along with nearly $13,000, in a special ceremony in Amsterdam in April.

I am drawn to the edge of the picture but dare not seek to uncover what lies beyond. It is as if the left edge represents the divide between this world and the next. From our vantage point it seems we have been thrust upon the scene to either speak some words of comfort to this woman or administer last rights to the dead.

But know that by whom this entire body is pervaded, is indestructible. No one is able to cause the destruction of the imperishable soul. –Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2 verse 17

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‘I was a Bollywood stuntwoman’

Salon writer Cara Anna became a Bollywood extra through casting agents who stalk backpacker hostels in Bombay. She played many a blank, blond backup dancer, getting a taste of reverse exoticization (via Attempt to Be Hip):

[Casting agents] wait patiently… skimming over the dirty and the clearly stoned, looking for the freshest faces… Lonely Planet guidebooks in hand… Want to be in a film? Just get in this car…Westerners resemble certain Mexican laborers — picked up from street corners, without the proper work papers, by shady middlemen who keep a generous dose of a long day’s pay for themselves…

I could… eavesdrop on actors complaining about Bollywood’s gay casting couch. Being foreign and assumed ignorant, I was harmless…  I not only met stars but became a casting agent, a dancer, a pitch-making screenwriter, a documentary assistant and an aspiring film journalist, all in less than four months…

I met a man from New York who, knowing nothing about Bollywood, became a bodyguard for one of India’s biggest actors. He worked his new connections, appearing in runway shows, and made the Mumbai tabloids as the rumored new lover of a dimpled starlet.

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Thong-Tha-Thong-Thong-Thong

You guys have heard a similar story before I’m sure, but this stuff never gets old. GG2.net reports:

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An American online store selling womens` undergarments featuring images of Hindu Gods and religious icons has angered members of the community who have demanded their immediate withdrawal from the website.

In an ad for womens` thongs, Cafe-Press.com has on display hundred per cent cotton `Hindu God Shiva classic thong` priced at USD 12.99 with the religious deity`s face, another called `iGod Shiva Classic thong` for USD 15 makes a statement “Namaste it loud. Your`re Hindu and you`re proud.”

The `Om Classic Thong` priced at USD 8.99 explains “Om or rather aum is a sacred Hindu symbol that represents the absolute.”

Leading the protest for the products withdrawal is the American Hindus Against Defamation (AHAD), the largest Hindu anti-defamation group in North America comprising several Hindu organisations.

But all is well that ends well:

The protests had borne fruit with CafePress withdrawing the product line from its site.

Oh yeah? Then what is this?

I just don’t get my panties in a bunch over stuff like this though. There were other items however that did get my attention. Continue reading

Indian food hacks

You know how your desi mom totes around lal mirch in her purse because everything’s just too damn bland? And how embarrassing it is when she whips it out at restaurants, hunched over like it was a bottle of Night Train? This is just like that, but classier because, um, you’re epicurious: here’s my favorite Indian food hack from my bachelor kitchen.

At most grocery stores, you can buy tortelloni or ravioli stuffed with fillings such as sun-dried tomatoes and cheese. Try boiling the tortelloni for five minutes, ladling on spaghetti sauce and adding the secret topping: generous scoops of chutney powder, a.k.a. idli masala. It’s a yellow-orange spice mix that morphs the flavor of ravioli into something as delicious as dum aloo. It’s easier than fixing a sandwich, and it is absolutely sabroso. I’ve eaten it for six months and I’m still not sick of it.

And I’m not the only Marco Pulao running around. The desi pizza joints of Jersey City and Jackson Heights, and my own family, are famous for their Indian reimagining of hot pie. Dumpling Man, who makes fresh, thin-skinned Chinese dumplings, offers a spaghetti sauce option. I pitched him a chutney powder topping in a note scribbled on the back of a business card; when I left, I think he was laughing.

Here’s an older, non-Italian favorite which I eventually wore out: toasted onion rolls with spicy hummus, pepperjack cheese and the secret ingredient: mango achar. Please, for the love of Bacchus, share your own favorite food hack here in the comments.

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Exercising American power at the book market

Some in the conservative media were peeved earlier this week when UN Under-Secretary-General for Communications and Public Information, Shashi Tharoor (see former posts here and here) was quoted as saying that it was “the exercise of American power” that “may well be the central issue in world politics today.” Right-of-center bloggers pick up:

This is why the UN is useless. Whatever the original intention of the organization, the mission has morphed into trying to hinder anything the US wants to do. Oh, and by the way, the US is still expected to provide most of the funding, material, and other resources necessary for the UN to function. The situation is surreal.

Tharoor however doesn’t seem to be totally against the exercise of American power (if that is what his statement was implying as deciphered by right wing media). He likes the literary freedom it may have brought at least. He has just released his new book titled, Bookless in Baghdad which is a collection of essays inspired by walking through a Baghdad booksellers market:

Walking through Baghdad’s book souk, Shashi Tharoor, author and UN secretary general for communications and public information, couldn’t help being moved. “There were so many well-educated, middle-class people selling books on the pavement in Baghdad,” says the 48-year-old author. His stroll across the souk led to a compilation of literary essays…”

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Aishwarya in high res

Here’s a higher-resolution version of Aishwarya’s appearance on Letterman last night. It’s available via BitTorrent, here’s the torrent (73 MB MPEG, 7:52).

First get an easy BitTorrent downloader:

Then click here. The download will start automatically.

Here’s Aishwarya on 60 Minutes: torrent (15 MB AVI, first 2:43).

Update: The shallowness of these questions surprises me. Letterman asks if she lives with her parents, 60 Minutes asks if she’ll kiss on screen. I half expect someone to ask if she ‘wears a dot on her forehead.’ She’s being treated gingerly, like a Martian, like Gandhi — talk about tension! Yeah, she’s not from Britain or Australia, get over it. On Aish’s part, she’s a lot more skittish, nervous and diva-ish in her American interviews than her Indian ones. And she was strangely combative: I dug her cultural smack-back on the living-at-home question, but it needed to be softened by a big smile.

The rant on American imperialism which Letterman showed was the strangest thing to pick out of a musical; it won’t do Bride and Prejudice any favors at the box office. And Aish dressed quite modestly, even more so than at Cannes or, for that matter, in most of her films. I get the feeling that she sees herself, and maybe the interviewers see her, as the Great Brown Hope.

Which is silly, really. I thought that was Kal Penn 😉

Update 2: Check out the video of Aishwarya on Nightline, and the rest of the 60 Minutes segment, here.

Previous posts: 1, 2, 3, 4

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Posted in TV

An end to worldly suffering

Sorry, I can’t help you in this department. You may gain some insight however in extricating yourself from worldly attachments (and that includes American Idol you freaks), by taking a look through Pankaj Mishra’s new book, “An End to Suffering,as profiled in the New York Times:

You occasionally hear of writers, especially when their books are of long incubation, coming to resemble their subjects, and my fleeting glimpse of Pankaj Mishra seems to offer uncanny proof of the phenomenon. For here, surely, was the young Siddhartha Gautama himself: a scholar-sophisticate, a personality both cosmopolitan and ascetic, at large and at home in the world.

I wonder if this is similar to the phenomena where dog owners come to resemble their dogs?

“An End to Suffering” is part biography, part history, part travel book, part philosophic treatise. But perhaps it could best be described as a work of intellectual autobiography. I say “intellectual” rather than spiritual, let alone religious. Mishra is not a Buddhist — he “couldn’t sit still” long enough to meditate successfully — and his story is not a narrative of conversion or a road map to inner peace, at least not in the expected sense. It is, rather, the tale of his attempts to delve into the legacy of one of the world’s greatest philosophers.

The Buddha, as Mishra describes him, was not a prophet — not a religious figure but a secular one. Indeed, “he had placed no value on prayer or belief in a deity; he had not spoken of creation, original sin or the last judgment.” He likewise ignored the question of why sin and evil exist in the world, which has obsessed nearly every major religion. The Buddha’s concern was purely practical: to relieve suffering, both material and existential. His precepts weren’t couched as revelations from on high, delivered with the crash of thunder; instead they came as small quotidian insights: “I well remember how once, when I was sitting in the shade of a jambu tree on a path between the fields. . . .”

“…I took out my laptop and typed a blog entry in hopes of relieving the people’s suffering with a brief distraction.” That’s how I would have ended that quotidian insight.

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M.I.A.: step up to blow up

Abhi blogged M.I.A.’s LA concert in inimitable style, so let me fill you in on the NYC gig last Saturday as best as I can: consider me the B side. And Anna couldn’t make the sold-out concert, but she graciously gave me her unused tickets. Caring, sharing and turning green with envy: it’s the mutineer way.

The concert utterly rocked with audience energy, and Mathangi ‘Maya’ Arulpragasam felt like a star in the making. There was heavy promo in NYC: a staid New Yorker story (talk about hipster buzz kill), the cover of the Village Voice entertainment section, Gawker. And her DJ backup, Diplo of Hollertronix, is popular out here. Her first full album, Arular, is out Feb. 22.

The crowd was a weird mix of spiky-haired Asians, Williamsburg hipsters and Upper West Side liberals with the odd square-jawed, Shannyn Sossamon-like Tamil beauty thrown in. There were very few desis in all, but the show was jam-packed. Most of the crowd already knew and sang along to her songs. I can’t tell you how much Lower East Side angst it inspired in me to find out she’s no longer a ‘discovery’ 🙂

Arulpragasam had great flow, and every single song was good. The tracks she chose were much fresher, catchier and more layered than the mixes I’ve heard online. They call it electro-dancehall and electrogroove, but the moves were deliciously familiar: she and her backup dancers reminded me of early Salt ‘n Pepa. I did find the soldier step a bit precious.

I’ve never rocked out to a desi woman before, that was quite novel. The Village Voice called her a ‘Sri Lankan Tamil hottie,’ a phrase you rarely read in America. But her aesthetic was also intimately familiar: her small-faced, tousle-haired cutenesss resembles my female Berkeley classmates; the South Indian hip-hop fans at Berkeley are legion.

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