Two thumbs WAY down

J, Rohit, and I went to the Indian Film Festival of Los Angeles last night. This is my fourth year in a row attending. The film directors usually show up after the movie for a little Q&A as an extra bonus. The first movie I ever saw at the festival was Everybody Says I’m Fine. The main character in that film (a mind-reading hair dresser) really “spoke to me.” I have returned every year to sample some desi cinema that, thankfully, isn’t Bollywood. I had purchased us some tickets to the movie Parzania starring Naseeruddin Shah and…Corin Nemec. Let me tell you folks that Parker Lewis CAN lose, but we will get to that later.

J was having a good time before the movie because she swears she saw either Tia or Tamara. She wasn’t sure which one but does it honestly matter? The word on the street is that the night before at the premiere, the likes of Reggie Miller, Chad Lowe (looking sad sans Hilary Swank), and Sheetal Sheth had all been spotted. I was in the mood for a good film because I have had a very unlucky month. First I had a bad cold for two weeks, then last Sunday I got a painful root canal infection that is requiring me to take antibiotics (which sucks because I’m running a relay marathon on Sunday). I’ve just been feeling very unsexy of late. On top of that I spilled my Thai-takeout all over my kitchen floor while rushing to make it to the festival to meet J. Would some cinema magic be able to numb all of my pain and put an uplifting bounce back into my step?

So here is the synopsis of the film Parzania:

Parzania is the breathtaking untold story of an event that changed the country and the world forever.

Cynical. Intelligent. Hilarious. Drunk. An American man by the name of Allan Webbings arrives in Ahmedabad city. For the longest time, Allan has been searching for answers, praying to find both internal peace and understanding of the horrors that religious differences can create. Allan has chosen India as his playground, and Gandhi as his subject. It’s here that he meets Cyrus, the local projectionist who brings the young and troubled intellectual into his beautiful family. Cyrus is a Parsi, a follower of a rarely practiced religion that is both small in numbers and neutral to religious politics. He has a beautiful wife named Shernaz, a practical woman who after eleven years still can’t resist his charisma and charm; two children- Parzan an imaginative ten year old that has developed his own world, the world of Parzania, where the buildings are made of chocolate and the mountains of ice cream. Parzan, in his mind, has created the perfect world, a world that only his eight year old little sister Dilshad truly understands.

Through Cyrus’s family, Allan finds his peace, right before the rest of the country loses its sanity. One morning, the beauty and peace that India is so famous for, is rocked beyond measure, as a bomb explodes in a train killing Hindus.

Within 24 hours, thousands of Muslims are slaughtered, making that day one of the largest acts of communal violence the country has ever seen. And in the midst of the terror and violence, Parzan comes up missing.

While Cyrus fights for his own sanity and searches for his child, Alan battles to uncover the truth behind the riots.
Parzania is inspired by a true story. [Link]

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CrossingAZ

Last week we discussed some of the South Asian participation in the immigration rallies that took place across the country. An SM tipster informs me that director Joseph Matthew, originally from Kerala, has a new documentary out called Crossing Arizona which highlights the tensions between various factions down at the U.S.-Mexico border.

CROSSING ARIZONA is an up-to-the-moment look at the hotly debated issues of illegal immigration and border security on the U.S./Mexico border.

Heightened security along the Texas and California borders funnels an estimated 4,500 illegal migrants, most traveling on foot, into remote sectors of the Arizona desert on a daily basis. The perilous journey, which can take up to four days, has led to the deaths of thousands of migrants.

The influx of migrants and rising death toll has elicited impassioned responses and complicated feelings about human rights, culture, class and national security. Through the eyes of frustrated ranchers, local activists, desperate migrants, and the Minutemen who’ve become darlings of the national media, CROSSING ARIZONA reveals the surprising political stances people take when immigration and border policy fails everyone. [Link]

I checked out the filmmaker’s blog as well (everyone has a blog now). Here was one audience member’s reaction to the film:

The Premiere [at Sundance] was a blast. The Q&A afterwards focused soley on the issues. And it was great to have three characters from the film there to shape the debate. Some Minutemen even showed up and we made sure they were able to get tickets to see the film. After the screening, a Minuteman wrote me: “It is, in fact, an utter disappointment that any honorable U.S. citizen would make such a film.”

He was concerned that the film was off-balance. Simcox himself said that he thought he was portrayed fairly and that the filmmakers allowed him to say everything he wanted to say. May I point out that, during the film, the audience meets multiple characters who have different takes on the situation: landowning ranchers who deal with the consequences of migrants crossing over their land, immigrant rights’ activists who feel that immigrants are being blamed for problems for which they are not responsible, undocumented (but tax-paying) migrant farmworkers, “samaritans,” “vigilantes,” migrants attempting to cross. [Link]
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The spices speak to me

Director Paul Mayeda Berges was quoted in DNA today about his new movie The Mistress of Spices:

The other key element was to… give each spice its own Indian instrument so you could know when they were calling out to Tilo. The chillies warn her with a tabla. Chandan, kala jeera, tulsi, hing and cinnamon each have their own sounds.

I’ll bet that what the spices are telling Tilo is, ‘Stop exoticizing us, wench!’ Spice-tabla-Chocolat-sex: Tilo Does Oakland

Related posts: Juicier matters, Coffee cant, We’ve got a live one!, Sakina’s Restaurant, Anatomy of a genre, M-m-me so hungry, Buzzword bingo

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Cyberpunk Bollywood

Sci-fi novelist Bruce Sterling, a pioneer in the cyberpunk genre, is also a huge Bollyfan who designed this bumper sticker (via Boing Boing):

That’s Parineeta on the right, not sure about the one on the left. The guy’s got taste.

He’s also been blogging the ins and outs of various sex-lies-and-mirrordiscs scandals (Sanjay Joshi, Amar Singh) working their way through political parties and the Indian Parliament:

Sanjay Joshi was set up. Somebody videoed him inflagrante diplimatico with a schoolteacher — bad news if your job in a conservative religious party depends on a vow of celibacy. Days later, flamboyant socialist playboy Amar Singh, of the liberal Samajwadi Party, announced his phone had been tapped. A salacious CD of purported chats with Tolly- and Bolly-wood starlets soon began making the rounds (hey, he’s a flamboyant socialist playboy).

In quick succession, more than half a dozen prominent ministers and pols stepped forward with claims that they too had been filmed, shadowed and bugged. More than a few signs point to a dirty tricks arm of the ruling Congress Party, with rumblings of deep-pocketed corporate backing. A crew of snoops for hire, black-hat script kiddies and renegade telco underlings has been rounded up and are under the screws. Meanwhile, the Sanjay sex tape is the hottest DVD bootleg on the market, and rumors of many more discs compromising many more pols abound… [Link]

His blog posts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

Related post: One ticket for the clue train, please

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The tao of Steve

Last weekend I saw Inside Man, currently the top movie in America. In Spike Lee’s excellent caper mystery, actor Waris Singh Ahluwalia explains the significance of the Sikh turban, covering your head in the presence of god, to the largest American audience to date. It’s very cool of Lee to carve out screen time for this exposition, and more such movies might reduce Sikh harassment in America.

The hollow men

On the other hand, Denzel Washington’s rejoinder (‘Bet you can catch a cab…’) feels like shuffling, not dancing. I didn’t catch Ahluwalia’s smack-back because the audience was laughing too hard at the turban-cabbie joke. Ick. Ahluwalia gets the lion’s share of the desi actors’ screen time. Reena Shah has a couple of seconds as a hostage, and Jay Charan is barely seen as a bank teller.

The movie opens with ‘Chaiyya Chaiyya‘ from Dil Se, and Punjabi MC raps over an orchestra-enhanced mix during the closing credits. The inclusion of ‘Chaiyya’ has nothing to do with Hindi samples in hip-hop or Bombay Dreams — Lee draws directly from the source (thanks, mallika). At some point desi influence in American pop culture will melt in so thoroughly, it won’t even be worthy of remark. Then the Uighur-Americans will start blogging about how poorly they’re represented in popular American culture. Viva la Uighur Mutiny.

Viva la
Uighur Mutiny
The flick reminds me of Gurinder Chadha’s newer movies: it’s a thoroughly commercial film, a bid for mainstream relevance which still shouts out to the brotherhood (minorities, blue-collar workers, Brooklyn and polyglot NYC). It finesses the task of melding social commentary, such as a violent Grand Theft Auto parody, with product placements galore. As unfocused as it is, just one of Lee’s movies gives you more to chew on than three normal Hollywood flicks. Unlike Chadha’s work, Inside Man objectifies women as much as She Hate Me reportedly did, with an extended joke about big tits.

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The red shoe diaries

It has recently come to my attention that amateur phone sexologist Salman Khan endorses Red Tape shoes:

Try walking a mile in his shoes

Khan launched the new collection from Red Tape… In sync with international fashion trends, Red Tape shoes spell attitude and are a style statement for all those who wear them. [Link]

Oh, they make a style statement, all right:

  • You have to apply to own them
  • There’s an 18-year waiting list
  • You have to bribe a salesman to get them
  • Communists prefer them
  • The pair delivered is always the wrong size
  • They trip you up when you wear them
  • They breed in darkness
  • You can’t discard them, you can only add to your collection

The Dutch like wooden shoes, Sicilians wear concrete shoes, but India Shines in Red Tape shoes. A spokesman said:

Added Mr. Pant, “… There are synergies between himself and the Red Tape brand and he is the right fit, we believe.” [Link]

Man, talk about bad branding. First of all, where’s Mr. Sandal? And second, I think you’ll agree that Khan makes a better spokesman for Blackbuck Jerky.

Related post: Jail Time for Salman Khan?

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Waris X

Movie candyman A. Lane has just revealed more info about Waris Singh Ahluwalia’s part in Spike Lee’s new film Inside Man. He reports in the New Yorker that Ahluwalia plays Vikram Walia, a Sikh hostage in a bank heist who’s disrespected by the cops coming to save him. It’s his second character named Vikram:

Magazine photo shoot: two hours

Sauntering around armor room in a cape: priceless

The more it sags as a thriller, the more it jabs and jangles as a study of racial abrasion. A hostage is released, and an armed cop shouts, “He’s an Arab!” The hostage replies, “I’m a Sikh,” and you can hear the weariness at the edges of his fear…

Grand Illusion” offered the ennobling suggestion that national divisions were delusory, and that our common humanity can throw bridges across any social gulf. To which Lee would reply, Nice idea. Go tell it to the guy who just had his turban pulled off by the cops. [Link]

… the ethnic vaudeville is pure Spike…. in-your-face all the time: Inside Man resounds with stray assertions of irate identity like… “What the fuck–give me my turban!” The latter demand, delivered by a Sikh bank employee to the cops who are questioning him, readily segues into a diatribe against post-9-11 profiling, the onrushing complaint coming to an abrupt bada-boom when [Denzel] Washington’s partner (Chiwetel Ejiofor) dryly observes, “I bet you can get a cab, though.” [Link]

There are a couple of references to institutional racism and post-9/11 angst… [Link]

Imagine that, a caper flick which discards the cliché of only casting white or black actors:

Through the main protagonists and bank hostages, Lee presents a multi-racial panoramic view of New York at present. [Link]

It may seem like a predictable cliche, especially to the director’s detractors, that he so intently underlines the ethnicity of even the most minor characters; ‘What the fuck — give me my turban!’much is made of the rainbow brigade that constitutes the hostage group: the white woman who talks loudly on her cell phone; the young Sikh hostage who, when released, strenuously complains of being mistaken for an Arab; the glam Albanian sexpot who knows how to play her cards, and the young black hostage whose ultraviolent “Kill Dat N*” computer game gives pause even to Russell. [Link]

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S for Sample

Ignore, ignore, the flick’s a bore. V for Vendetta, an otherwise preposterous, pompous movie, does play an interesting Hindi remix over the closing credits, ‘BKAB‘ by Ethan Stoller. Listen here. Also check out a fellow Chicago musician, Arthi Meera of the luscious voice.

The track mashes up covers of ‘Churake Dil Mera’ from Main Khiladi Tu Anari and ‘Pardesi Jana Nahin’ from Raja Hindustani. It’s all set to a thrash metal beat straight out of a video game, or the video game called XXX which masqueraded as a movie. It reminds me of the Sanskrit track over the credits in Matrix 3, ‘Navras’ by Juno Reactor (thanks, WesternGhaat).

Adapting an earnest graphic novel requires a lighter touch than the Wachowski brothers can muster. Subtlety and allegory demand a fictional veneer. The movie assaults the abuses of Dubya, but it’s almost entirely literal: prisoners wear black hoods and orange jumpsuits, the Koran garners sympathy, there’s a Bill O’Reilly stand-in, the V is an upside-down anarchy symbol, the evil regime’s logo is St. George’s Cross in black. Its treatment of discrimination against gays and lesbians (but not transsexuals) is thoroughly and probably unintentionally camp.

The filmmakers talk down to the audience by dissolving from the present into identically-framed flashback and back again. It’s like those action shots repeated three times in Bollywood flicks, just in case you didn’t get it the first time. The dialogue is full of leaden, soapy howlers, and the audience was unforgiving. Some lines can only be pulled off in noir, not in a brightly-lit room by a Shakespearean fop in a pageboy wig and a geisha mask. A key plot twist is so ludicrous, it had the audience groaning. The action is minimal, V has no real super powers, Natalie Portman coasts on her looks. John Hurt goes way over the top as a raving, spittle-flecked dictator. Poor Hugo Weaving spends the entire film behind masks and prosthetics — scale plus ten for that one.

In the words of the film, these artists use badly-penned lies to show the truth. Like walking in on someone fisting his ham, that’s just awkward all around. It’s the W’s, those exhibitionists again.

Watch the trailer. Here’s the NYT review.

Update: Slate links (thanks, Michael).

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The Fresh Prince of Bombay

Bush wasn’t the only imperial American to visit India last week. Mega-movie star, sometime rapper, and potential aspirant to the presidency Will Smith was also there as well. While he was in India to promote a new English language movie channel, he graciously complimented the competition, endearing himself to Indians with his love for Bollywood:

“The first Hindi film that I saw was Sarkar,” he explained, “and I was blown away by the Big B (megastar Amitabh Bachchan). I want to be known as Big W from today.” [Link]

“Just recently I got to know the number of films Bollywood makes a year – a whopping 800. And each with its share of song, music, dance and drama… I am simply enticed to be part of it” [Link]

Although his representatives denied that Smith had any concrete plans for a crossover movie, he did spend a whole day meeting with various filmi types, so something may be in the works.

For me, the highlight of Smith’s visit was his appearence on Indian Idol. There he imitated Tom Cruise by jumping up on the sofa (scaring the presenter Mini Mathur half to death) where he mugged and sang:

Telling the contestants how to deal with butterflies in their stomachs, Will said, “It’s hard going on stage, and I used to have a weird feeling in my gut too. Sometimes, I still do. And when I really want to make sure I’m ready for stage, I go to a really crowded place, like a mall or something, I just climb up onto something (jumps onto the sofa) and do this!” He screams his guts out, wildly, his lunatic expressions all over the place. [Link]

[To see a flip book animation of his performance, click here] While on the show, he not only performed “Getting Jiggy With It” but he also ventured a duet of “Aati Kya Khandala” with one of the contestants. Unfortunately, one of the male contestants was considerably more self-conscious than Smith was:

Will got off the couch to raucous applause, encouraging the lad right next to him, Sandeep, to do the same. “Go ahead, man, go for it! Your turn now!”

And this is where the Idol hopeful blew it. If Will Smith tells you to leap onto a sofa and yell your head off on television, you do it. Sandeep hesitantly got to his feet, perched atop the couch as if made to stand to attention, and then, instead of just shouting, he fumbled around for a microphone. Even as Will kept egging him on, Sandeep managed a lame ‘Woo’ sound, then stood there grinning haplessly. [Link]

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The Third Element

Sitting in the Hirshhorn museum’s Ring Auditorium after waiting for over an hour on Saturday, I really wanted to like Water, Deepa Mehta’s last in her trilogy of films based on the elements. I wanted to write a glowing review of it for you all, but after sitting through it (and the really, really long introductory conversation between Mehta and the Smithsonian’s Manjula Kumar) I came away simply underwhelmed. It wasn’t that the movie was horrible, it wasn’t. It was just unimpressive. I think back to Mehta’s Fire, it was unique for the time of its release and blessed with the presence of Shabana Azmi and Nandita Das; I found Earth, the second installment of the trilogy phenomenal, visually stunning, musically evocative, and well directed. Contrastingly in Water, I saw a cast of mostly uninspired acting, drab sets, and music that just faded into the background (perhaps by design?).

The film was shot in Sri Lanka, and while watching the movie, Sri Lanka’s lush landscapes easily gives the non-India locale away. I can’t say for sure that in 1938 there were no palm trees in Varanasi, but I am not buying that the city’s ghats were surrounded by them. I found Seema Biswas (Shakuntala) of Bandit Queen fame and the relative newcomer Sarala (Chuyia) playing the young widow excellent, but the beautiful Lisa Ray (Kalyani) was mediocre at best. Shakuntala’s dutiful strength and Chuyia’s naïve intelligence were indeed stark contrasts to the rather forgettable Kalyani (spoiler warning: one of my favorite scenes shows Chuyia sitting amongst the praying widows, fearlessly blurting a question to the pundit asking, “what happenned to male widows?”).

I wanted to be moved by the climactic scenes featuring MK Gandhi, but I found them artificial and contrived, which only added to the hokey vibe of the movie. The film, it’s not bad, but I didn’t find it great. For the curious however, it’s a decent timepass.

Related posts: earth, fire, WATER, Water Is Finally Here, Is Deepa Mehta Back in the Game?

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