Author Archives: Ennis Singh Mutinywale

Quick, call the desi cultural conspiracy! Stat!

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Tyler Cowen reports that, in a step backwards, “Lasagne has replaced chicken tikka massala as the favourite dish of Britons.” [The step backwards is Tyler’s interpretation, not mine. I’ve always been fond of Lasagna, and indifferent towards CTM]

Although Tyler is quoting the Beeb, he fails to quote the whole three sentences of the passage, which would explain their methodology for arriving at such a conclusion:

Lasagne has replaced chicken tikka massala as the favourite dish of Britons. Sainsbury’s sold 13.9 million lasagne ready meals and just 7.4 million chicken tikka massalas last year. Tesco sold 9.8 million lasagnes and 6.3 million chicken tikka massalas.

If the best way to find a country’s national dish is to look at their choice of frozen food entr&eacutees, then clearly we are losing ground to the Italians. Still, I doubt that curry will be easily dislodged from that special place in a Briton’s heart: even racist yobs eat curry before going out to work it off with a spot of PakiBashing. I suspect that curry has simply become so British to most Brits, that to them Lasagne is a far more exotic food item, one with a bit more pizzazz. They’ll be back. If not, we’ll deploy our secret weapon: Gobi Aloo.

Speaking of frozen CTK, when I spent a few weeks living in London I conducted a taste test by trying different frozen versions from different supermarkets. What I found was that the higher end supermarkets (like Sainsbury’s) had used superior ingredients (thus accounting for the higher cost of their entr&eacutee) but fewer spices, and that the best frozen CTK came from the lowest rent supermarket, a rather shady Safeway in a place I didn’t want to be caught after dark.

p.s. anybody know how to get accents above my “e”s, I’m embarassed to say “entree” Thanks Andrea. And merci for letting my spelling error pass unremarked! p.p.s. I have no idea what stat means, I’ve just always wanted to say it

The life [(or lives) saved by] aquatic [vegetation]

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There’s the high tech approach to minimizing tsunami deaths — a global alert system that tries to predict tsunamis — and then there’s the low tech approach — mangrove swamps. This should not be a surprise – wetlands are very effective at combatting flooding, for example, far more so than levees and dams. And while it is anthropomorphic to say that “the wetlands are nature’s method of protecting people,” it is useful to observe that wetlands have preserved many lands and try to cultivate them for that purpose. The Christian Science Monitor reports [snippets only]:

Mr. Selvum says that 172 families were saved from the tsunami in the fishing village of Thirunal Thoppu in India’s Tamil Nadu state only because the mangroves are thriving and dense there. He also mentions three other Tamil Nadu villages where damage had been minimized by the aquatic trees. “Every village has more than 100 families, so just think of the number of lives saved,” he says. “Even though the mechanical impact of a tsunami is enormous, and is bound to destroy the first line of mangroves, the water suddenly slows down as it moves farther in,” Selvum says.

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Small city Indians want (surprise!) western goods

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Wealth, in India, is spreading from the big cities into the smaller ones. And with it comes an expansion of demand for Western goods, stoked by advertisements. Now desis in smaller cities want KFC, blue jeans, Fords (huh?) and (of course) premium alcohol. I wonder how many of star’s advertisers are making big bank in India? Maybe we should spread a list of their names to the Indian press — that would get their attention fast! Nobody wants to stumble in an emerging market. [Anybody have that list yet?] Read the whole article on the NYT (no permalink avail, unfortunately), snippets provided below:

KFC’s parent, Yum Brands, now has 100 KFC and Pizza Hut restaurants in India, 30 opened in 2004, and a goal of 1,000 by 2014. To realize such growth, the chains have begun a seemingly inexorable march into the country’s smaller boomtowns, cities like Coimbatore and Cochin in the south, and Jaipur and Meerut in the north, where middle-class Indians – who increasingly crave localized Western foods, regional flavors and ingredients infused into the pizza, pasta or poultry – have hailed their arrival. As India’s galloping economy has extended to its smaller cities, a younger population with expendable income is finding many Western and upmarket domestic products, brands and services increasingly accessible. Nearly 35 Indian cities have a population exceeding a million, and proliferating shopping malls cater to the rapidly growing consumer class.

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The hardest working pshrynk in the world

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You might think the hardest working shrink in the world would be in LA or NYC, dealing with rich neurotics. Or, perhaps this person is working with the armed forces, helping soldiers deal with the tragedies of war.

But you would be wrong. The clear winner for the hardest working shrink in the world goes to … [tabla roll please] ….

Ganesan, the “only psychiatrist for 1.3 million of the world’s most traumatized people. His roving practice along this island nation’s eastern shore stretches over 150 miles, all of it devastated by last week’s tsunami.”

Huh? These people don’t need to be asked about their mothers, they need somebody to patch up their bodies! Well, that’s what he thinks too:

“To talk about psychological needs when you’ve got thousands of people using one toilet in a refugee camp — it’s absurd,” says Ganesan, who goes by one name as is common here, talking above the din in the office where he is coordinating medical supplies for refugees. “It’s not what a doctor should do.” In these traumatic days, Ganesan has tossed dozens of corpses into the back of his pickup, distributed medicine to children, coordinated efforts of hundreds of foreign aid workers from dozens of countries, buried a friend and, just for a moment yesterday, had a quiet session with a violently psychotic young man crippled by delusions and drug addiction.

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Call Center Operators Get Some Loooooooove

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We recently reported about some idiot DJ who threatened and insulted a call center operator, to boost his ratings. [I’m waiting for Indian DJs to reciprocate] But the life of a call center operator is varied, and also includes moments like this one, from Conan’s show. It turns out that lonely, horny Americans are coming to the same conclusions that our parents want us to come to – that Brown Lovin’ is good Lovin’ [Either that or they’re to cheap to pay for phone sex]:

Nineteen-year-old Kajal aka Jessica Taylor could not help smiling when her admirer on the line questioned “Do you look like the Indian beauty Aishwarya ?. [sic]Come with me for a hot date tonight.” At 6 in the morning, Kunal aka Oliver Stone was just wrapping up for the day, when his last call earned him a kiss and a passionate dinner invitation.

Note – these are outbound rather than inbound call center operators, and since they are “breaking the bubble” of the person being called, the recipient may feel better about taking liberties.

Whole article posted below b/c it is only available as a cached copy and will probably soon disappear: Continue reading →

Sex (gasp) in India: juxtaposition

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the fuzzy images of the 17-year-old girl having oral sex [NSFW] with her high school boyfriend has sent shock waves through urban India, exposing the growing friction between the conservative middle class, its increasingly Westernized children and modern technology. [Chicago Sun Times]

The boy got off (as it were) with a slap on the wrist, despite cries for his blood. Meanwhile, the girl got sent off to Canada, as if enceinte.

Magistrate Santosh Snehi Mann released the boy on bail after his parents put up 25,000 rupees ($570) and surrendered the minor’s passport. The judge called his actions a “misadventure”. The court ordered the boy, who cannot be named, to undergo a month of counselling and told his parents to supply weekly behavioural reports. However, police and prosecutors had called for the boy to be kept in juvenile detention. A police petition said: “The act of the boy was obscene, depraved and showed his animal instincts and he should undergo psychiatric treatment and counselling. The girl involved has reportedly been sent to Canada by her parents. The teenagers were both expelled from their school. [BBC]

Meanwhile, in a charmingly quaint attempt to grab the limelight, Kareena Kapoor is suing a newspaper for having had the audacity to print photographs of her canoodling with co-star Shahid Kapoor in a restaurant.

An Indian Bollywood film star has begun legal proceedings against a tabloid newspaper that published photos of her passionately kissing her co-star. Kareena Kapoor – one of Bollywood’s most famous actors – is seeking an unconditional apology from the paper. She and her co-star Shahid Kapoor say the photos were doctored, and were not of them. The poor-quality photographs appeared to suggest that the two stars were kissing intimately in a restaurant. The BBC’s Zubair Ahmed says that the photographs and film clip of the two actors – who are not related – were apparently taken by someone with a video-enabled mobile phone. On Thursday, some news channels ran the entire clip. [BBC]

Previous Posts: The next M. Knight Shyamalan? Baazee.com CEO arrested over sex clip Continue reading →

19 great free tracks

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BoingBoing directs our attention to David Boyk’s sweet Bollywood site, “Bollywood for the Skeptical“. It includes 19 classic tracks and a good basic primer about Bollywood for newbies.

My favorite part of the site is David’s list of “Words that Show Up a Lot in Bollywood Songs” It’s like a Berlitz for Bollywood; once you learn these, you should be able to understand almost anything in a Bollywood song. That assumes, of course, that the song makes sense in the first place. [Thanks to ME-L for the link]

Liliputian Brown Baby

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rumaisa.jpg The BBC reports on the world’s smallest baby:

The world’s smallest known surviving baby has made her first public appearance at a US hospital, alongside her slightly larger twin sister. Rumaisa Rahman weighed just 244g (8.6 ounces) when she was born prematurely in Chicago on 19 September – less than a can of soft drink. Rumaisa’s Indian-born parents hope to take her and sister Hiba to their home in the city by early next month.

Continuing with the theme of comparing babies to common consumer goods, we are told that

Rumaisa was about the size of a mobile phone when she was born, 15 weeks before her due date. She still only weighs 1.18kg (2 pounds 10 ounces).

Amazingly enough, the twins can “survive” on their own, even though they were only around 4.3 months into term before they were delivered via C-section:

“They’re maintaining their temperature, they don’t need an incubator…. They’re normal babies,” said Dr William MacMillan at Loyola University Medical Center.

To provide a browner basis for comparison, I estimate this baby’s head was roughly the size (and possibly even the weight) of a gulab jamun when she was born ….

Bollywood’s Brown “Terminal” ?

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The recent Tom Hanks movie, The Terminal, was based on the true story of Merhan Karimi Nasseri, an Iranian trapped in limbo at Charles de Gaulle airport. Simplify the story considerably (see the link above to snopes.com) and voila — a Hollywood movie!

Now, there’s a “Brown Terminal” story, about a Kenyan born British desi who is stuck at a Kenyan airport, having been deported from the UK. Any bets on how quickly Bollywood will bogart and bowdlerize his story? Any bets on what it will look like when it’s done?

Here’s the sitch:

A Kenyan-born British man has spent six months in Kenya’s international airport after being refused entry to the UK. Sanjai Shah has spent his time sleeping and wandering about in the transit lounge on the outskirts of the capital. He told the BBC he wants the British High Commission in Nairobi to send someone to the airport to sort it out. He told the BBC’s Muliro Telewa: “Life is very hard. You can sleep in the transit lounge, or wherever there is space. People are nice, they give me food. Others give me money. “I miss my wife and kids and they miss me. But if you want something, you must be ready to lose something.” The High Commission says Mr Shah had no automatic right to live and settle in the UK despite giving up his Kenyan passport after being awarded a British Overseas Citizen passport. His passport allows him entry into the UK but he was supposed to have a return ticket and sufficient funds to support his visit. Immigration officials suspected he planned to stay in the UK so refused him entry and flew him back. He said that he offered to buy a return ticket but was sent back, with a “prohibited immigrant” stamp in his passport, making it hard for him to travel to many countries. “This is not our problem, it is London’s,” a Kenyan immigration official told AFP news agency. “We have repeatedly told Shah to come to our offices for us to discuss his case and advise him on how to achieve his objectives, but he has refused and opted to stay at the airport,” British High Commission spokesman Mark Norton said.

Aspiring screenwriters, start your engines!

BBC: Man ‘living’ in airport terminal BBC: Life in the lounge Snopes.com: Stranded at the Airport