Author Archives: Abhi

About Abhi

Abhi lives in Los Angeles and works to put things into space.

A Letter To Our Readers

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[Update: April Fool! 🙂
Dear readers, let’s go over the facts one by one.

True or False: Anna and Sajit are fighting over the affections of Manish?
ANS: False. There is NO love triangle whatsoever within Sepia Mutiny. Blogging and relationships do not mix. We are professionals people.

True of False: Abhi and Vinod nearly came to blows?
ANS: False. I have never even met Vinod. However it is entirely possible that such a thing will transpire when I finally do.

True or False: Ennis has scooped Vinod on several blog entries?
ANS: False. Ennis doesn’t post often enough to cause such problems.

True or False: Sajit is moonlighting on another blog with a pseudonym?
ANS: False. It could be true but we’ll never know.

I am dissapointed in a great number of you 🙂 Has our blog taught you nothing? Investigate people! Ask questions. Question the government. Only one clever commenter, instead of simply believing that our declaration was true or proclaiming confidently that it was a prank, was able to bring forth evidence. Digging back into my personal archives you would have (like her) found the smoking gun that exposed me for the fraud that I was. 🙂

Don’t feel bad though. If you think YOU got badly fooled, you should hear how badly this fooled my dad. Just embarrassing.

We’re back!]

Dear valued readers of Sepia Mutiny,

I am not sure how to begin this posting so as to soften the blow for you or for myself. I am just going to announce what needs to be said and then find a way to explain it as best I can. The bloggers of Sepia Mutiny have decided after much (often heated) debate, to call it quits. Unless something drastic changes (and I have no reason left to hope that it will after the angry conference call earlier tonight) this will be the last posting on Sepia Mutiny. This announcement is particularly embarrassing in light of the fact that just last week I announced that we were going strong and had yet to “jump the shark.” Although I am under no obligation to explain our decision, I feel I must, even without the approval or foreknowledge of the other six writers on our site. The explanation for our “break-up” is MY version of events ONLY. I am quite certain it will result in me getting nasty messages from one or more of the other bloggers for revealing too much of their personal lives. I really wrestled with whether or not I should, but I’ve always felt that with great power comes great responsibility. You lend us your time (and tips) every day and it’s up to me to thank you in kind with the TRUTH. There were two MAIN causes for our decision. The first involved a romantic entanglement between three of our writers. Two of them on the East Coast have gotten quite “close.” It’s not very hard to figure out which two. Some of you have seen them together at events that we have blogged about. Similarly to what happens in rock bands, the rivalry between two of our writers, over the affections of the third, turned toxic. I know. It sounds cliched to me as well. Since most of us weren’t friends before starting Sepia Mutiny (in truth I have only met three other SM bloggers) when the cracks formed, they were not so easy to mend. The second conflict that lead to our decision is partially my fault. Last week I was up in the Bay Area for a two-day conference and used the opportunity to finally meet Vinod. Long time readers of SM will note that Vinod and I don’t agree on a gamut of political issues. Both of us had a few too many drinks at the bar while talking politics and things turned ugly (I guess it’s true that Indian men can’t hold their liquor). While trying to drive home a point with regards to the Israeli/Palestinian issue, I accidentally flailed my arms too wide and knocked my beer into Vinod’s lap. Because I was angry at the time, he mistakenly thought I did it on purpose and retaliated by throwing his beer in my face. When it was obvious that a fight was imminent the bouncers pushed us out of the bar. I think it was a silly misunderstanding but again, the fact that we weren’t friends before has made it more difficult to reconcile. Each of us is too stubborn to admit that we were wrong. There were other tiny incidents of course. All petty upon introspection. Ennis scooped several stories after Vinod had informally announced that he was going to post them. Sajit was apparently moonlighting under a pseudonym on a rival blog, posting his best material there. Again, let me stress that this is MY view of the situation. It is possible that the parties involved might retaliate by posting THEIR own versions here as well, although I hope things won’t get that ugly. The only “good” news is that Apul has gotten a lot of good press from SM and has been invited to write for a well known comedy show. I’m not sure why they singled him out (especially since he is just a recent addition to our crew), but I guess saying “good luck” would be appropriate.

At this point I can only ask that SM readers try to accept this decision and continue to visit each of our individual blog sites. We will still be writing with our own voices just not together in this forum.

I know what comes next may be overly dramatic but I am really torn up over this decision. I would like to end my writing with choice words from the poet William Butler Yeats:

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold
 Continue reading →

Desis for Texas y’all

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In an effort to help South Asian politicians seek elected office, and help educate South Asian citizens at a local level in Texas, a group headed by Dheeraj Chand has started the political action committee, Desis for Texas (DesiPAC).

We have four primary objectives:

1. Support the election of candidates who have demonstrated support on issues pertinent to S. Asians, such as immigration and civil rights.

2. Provide a community infrastructure to encourage and support S. Asians to run for elected office.

3. Ensure that every legal S. Asian voter is registered and able to vote in as many elections as possible.

4. Ensure that as many S. Asians are educated in the political process, informed on the issues and candidates and able to develop cogent perspectives. We will concentrate our efforts on elections in which we feel that our communities will be greatly impacted and those elections in which we can make a great impact.

At the national level we already have a U.S. IndiaPAC that has similar objectives. In my opinion however, they spend far too much time (or at least that’s the impression I am left with) battling the Pakistani American lobby over weapons sales on the Indian subcontinent. As an Indian American born here, India/Pakistan relations are at the bottom of the list of policies that matter to me. Where was IndiaPAC on the Modi issue?

Continue reading →

Penis envy

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Apul’s post yesterday demonstrated the importance of the phallus in South Asian culture. As if on cue, Delhi officials announced today that they will be going ahead with plans to build the world’s tallest building on the outskirts of their city. From The Guardian Unlimited:

Local officials said the building in Noida would be 710 metres (2,330ft) tall – 202 metres higher than Taiwan’s Taipei 101, the current tallest building on the planet.

The skyscraper, said to have been designed to resemble the peaks of the Himalayas, is scheduled to be open for business by 2013.

It will contain a 50-floor five-star hotel, a 40-storey glass atrium and 370,000 sq metres (4m sq ft) of shopping centres.

“New York in the 30s, Malaysia in the 90s and China today all have used tall buildings to showcase their countries to the world,” said Hafeez Contractor, the architect behind the building.

“We want this building to show to the world what India can do.”

Ummm. How about working on poverty and literacy first. As you can imagine not EVERYONE is happy about this:

…some experts are critical of the new wave of Indian design, which they say simply mimics what others have done before and does not take account of local conditions.

“It’s not suited for Indian conditions. We do not have enough water. We do not have the uninterrupted electricity supply,” said Balkrishna Doshi, one of India’s most respected urban designers.

“The building will need its own power plant to make sure the lifts do not stop when the electricity does.”

Let’s see if plans for the building thrust forward or end up going limp when faced with pressure from the inevitable protests.

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Just to get high

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hotair.jpg The BBC and several other news orgs report that Indian textile magnate Vijaypat Singhania (who seems to be a contemporary of Howard Hughes) will attempt in November to set a new hot air balloon altitude record:

The record breaking attempt will take place in November in the western Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay).

Mr Singhania, 66, will have to fly in a pressurised capsule in sub-zero temperatures to achieve a feat that he describes as MI 70K (Mission Impossible 70,000).

The 1.6 million cubic feet capacity balloon, which is being built in UK, is as tall as a 30-storey-building, according to the organisers.

The flight could take up to five hours – three hours to go up, and two hours to come down.

Officials from Federation Aeronautique Internationale (FAI), which ratifies aviation records, will be present.

“Vijay is going for the biggest feat – this is the heavy weight championship of hot air ballooning,” UK-based adventurer, Brian Milton, who is coordinating the flight told the BBC news site.

Now for my fellow aviation geeks out there, I have a bit more. As impressive an attempt as this will be, it pales by comparison to other high altitude feats. Singhania will be in a pressurized capsule (he’d die within seconds otherwise) but a century ago, similar feats were attempted sans pressurized cabin:

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Suga’ Mommas

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Several news orgs chime in on the latest press release from the Census Bureau. As reported on CNN:

Black and Asian women with bachelor’s degrees earn slightly more than similarly educated white women, and white men with four-year degrees make more than anyone else.

A white woman with a bachelor’s degree typically earned nearly $37,800 in 2003, compared with nearly $43,700 for a college-educated Asian woman and $41,100 for a college-educated black woman, according to data being released Monday by the Census Bureau. Hispanic women took home slightly less at $37,600 a year.

The bureau did not say why the differences exist. Economists and sociologists suggest possible factors: the tendency of minority women, especially blacks, to more often hold more than one job or work more than 40 hours a week, and the tendency of black professional women who take time off to have a child to return to the work force sooner than others.

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I love a woman in uniform

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tamilnadupolice.jpg Ms. Magazine spotlights the world’s first all woman police battalion: the Tamil Nadu Special Forces Fifth Battalion.

They were first inducted into the Indian police force in 1973, but today women are mostly confined to desk jobs. In 1992, they were allowed in the defense forces but, again, in service and support jobs. This, despite India’s history of such warrior women as Rani Lakshmibai, who fought the British army in the 1857 Sepoy Rebellion, India’s first freedom struggle.

Still, Indian women are making a comeback, starting in the southern-most state, Tamil Nadu, where Avadi (a suburb of the state’s capital city, Chennai) houses the Tamil Nadu Special Forces Fifth Battalion: the world’s first all-female battalion.

Tamil Nadu has always been progressive regarding women, electing the first female chief minister (a state chief minister holds the power of a U.S. state governor). It boasts the first women’s university, first women’s engineering college, first female-staffed police station, first all-female police commando company, and now the first women’s special-forces police battalion.

According to the article, a women’s battalion is particularly useful when dealing with crimes against women that many insensitive a*hole male cops don’t handle properly. If only certain fundamentalist states in the Arab world would adopt such practice.

According to Chief Minister J. Jayalalitha, since women constitute half the population, their problems could better be understood by policewomen. Each AWPS staffs 15 policewomen, and is focused on crimes against women.

Today, there are 188 AWPS, one in each Tamil Nadu district, along with two toll-free help lines — Woman in Distress and Child in Distress — through which anonymous complaints are pursued at the same priority level as regular complaints. The result: a 23 percent increase in reporting of crimes against women and children — and a higher conviction rate. Several other states have started pilot AWPS.

I have a great idea for a television pilot about a modern day Cagney & Lacey set in Tamil Nadu that I want to sell to American Desi TV. Continue reading →

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“Clocky that’s designed to get sleepyheads moving”

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I am most definitely not a morning person. I prefer working into the night when things are quiet and nobody can bother me. Consequently it makes it very difficult to get out of bed in the morning. About four years ago I perfected a technique that serves me well to this day. I set my clock-radio to NPR a half hour before I need to be out of bed. I set the volume so that it is just loud enough to first wake me, and then allow me to fall back into stage-one brainwave activity. A half hour later, there is a second alarm clock across the room which has a shrill beeping sound. It will not be pacified until I am fully up. Within that half hour however I am able to induce dreams based upon NPR’s stories, to actually live out, the days news. Over the past year I have battled insurgents in Iraq, sat in during Supreme Court hearings, and walked through tsunami devastated villages. I do all of this before even brushing my teeth. After experiencing so much at dawn everyday it becomes a little easier to get out of bed. The problem is that my technique isn’t patentable. I simply advise friends to try it. 25 year old inventor Gauri Nanda of MIT’s Media Lab has her own method of waking up that’s gotten her some publicity lately.

alarmclock.jpg

Clocky is, quite simply, for people who have trouble waking up.

When the alarm clock goes off and the snooze button is pressed, Clocky will roll off the bedside table and wheel away, bumping mindlessly into objects on the floor until it eventually finds a spot to rest. Minutes later, when the alarm sounds again, the sleeper must get up out of bed and search for Clocky. This ensures that the person is fully awake before turning it off. Small wheels that are concealed by Clocky’s shag enable it to move and reposition itself, and an internal processor helps it find a new hiding spot every day.

I don’t like being told when to wake up but I’ve come to terms with the idea that I have to. In designing Clocky, I was in part inspired by kittens I’ve had that would bite my toes every morning. Clocky is less of an annoying device as it is a troublesome pet that you love anyway. It’s also a bit ugly. But its unconventional looks keep the user calm, and inspire laughter at one of the most hated times of the day.

I’ve been known to hit the snooze bar for up to two hours or even accidentally turn it off. I’ve known people who put the alarm clock in the living room, but then forget to set it before going to sleep. Others say they are trying to wean themselves off of snoozing, as if it was a bad habit like smoking or drinking. In the foggy logic of our drowsiness, we disable the very device that is meant to wake us up. Having the alarm clock hide from me was just the most obvious way I could think of to get out of bed.

Clocky is not trying to solve all of the problems of alarm clocks—for example how they disrupt other people in the room—but I think maybe someday it can. I think the answer rests in the usage of multiple Clockies. Let’s say there are two people with different sleep schedules sharing a room. Maybe one person’s Clocky can tell the other to hush up if it has sounded off one too many times. Or, maybe they can form an alliance and simultaneously target the offending over-sleeper. I have adopted the philosophy that when two devices communicate, they can solve more problems—that is, two Clockies are better than one.

Also check out the rest of Nanda’s website. It’s very cool. I must confess that I surfed away with a little crush.

See also: New York Daily News article Continue reading →

He doesn’t like me but his brother might

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So what’s your logical next move when the leader of the free world has just humiliated you by revoking your visa and ending any chance of career advancement? Answer: Invite his brother over for…ummm dinner?? From ExpressIndia.com:

Chief Minister Narendra Modi has invited Florida Governor Jeb Bush to visit Gujarat.

Sounding more like a salesman selling Gujarat to the world, more that a wronged Chief Minister who was denied entry to the US, Narendra Modi made the invitation while addressing the members of the Asian American Hotel Owners’ Association in Fort Laurendale, Florida, from his official residence in Gandhinagar on Thursday evening.

He made it a point to avoid unneccessary controversy and mainly spoke about role expatriates in helping Gujarat flourish. Modi said his invitation to Jeb Bush, the brother of the US president, was to give him ‘‘a taste of real hospitality’’.

A tip from SM reader Santosh Daniel leads us to believe that Modi may have better luck enticing some distant cousin of Bush.

He’s young, dynamic and pleasant looking. He’s an entrepreneur who heads America’s second largest medical billing company. Qualities enough to make you sit up and take notice of Jonathan Bush. But what makes this Boston-based businessman even more of a special visitor to Hyderabad is that he’s President George Bush’s younger cousin. While here to look into setting up outsourcing offices, he exclaims, “I love the entrepreneurial spirit here. People are creative, passionate and look you in the eye when they speak. There are no wheels turning in their head.” It’s his first visit to India and he grins, “I took several pictures of me with cows on the road!”

His cousin is not aware that he is in India, as the last time he met him was at the inaugural ball. “Bush had just enough time to enquire about my children. We were much closer as kids. Now he’s this distant older brother who’s busy being President and taking care of his family,” says Jonathan. But he undoubtedly loves his President cousin — “We are a loving and supportive family… [source: Times of India]

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The many lives of Ravi Desai

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ravidesai1.jpg

Note: a helpful commenter pointed out that this story is actually several years old. I misread the date. Because it is still an interesting story I am posting it back up.

A couple weeks ago Slate magazine asked the question “Who is Robert Klingler?” This led to the larger question, “How do you know the person on the other side of your email conversation isn’t a dog?” [thanks for the tip Sanjay]

In the famous New Yorker cartoon by Peter Steiner, a dog seated in front of a PC turns to his canine colleague and boasts, “On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.”

Although dogs have not logged onto the Internet in the numbers Web visionaries predicted in the early ’90s, Steiner’s lesson still stands: You can never be too sure that your fascinating e-mail correspondent isn’t a barking imposter. Last week, Slate got taken by an Internet dog when it published the diary of “Robert Klingler,” an individual who claimed in e-mails and on the telephone to be the CEO of BMW’s North American operations.

Slate published two installments of Klingler’s projected weeklong diary before discovering his ruse on Tuesday, March 5. When told by BMW that no Robert Klingler worked there, Slate disavowed both diary entries, and I published this mea culpa, “Slate Gets Duped.” I explained that Klingler had “spoofed” his e-mail address to make it appear that it had originated from the car manufacturer.

So who was Robert Klingler? I unfortunately can’t do this article justice and strongly urge you to read it for yourself but, I will attempt to summarize enough of it to give you a flavor. Continue reading →

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Colors

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holi.jpg With spring here, Indian organizations around the U.S. will be getting ready to celebrate Holi so as to “keep it real” and stay attached to the customs of the homeland. Back in the homeland, people are buying up supplies for Holi as well. As reported at NewKerala.com:

An array of Chinese coloured powder and squirt guns have flooded the Indian market ahead of the Holi festival Saturday. “Rain Storm”, “Super Soaker” and “Water 3000” are some of the Made in China water guns that are attracting Holi revellers, who retailers say are slowly but steadily giving up the traditional squirt guns called ‘pitchkaris’.

So why are wholesalers going for Chinese goods? “They are definitely better than the Indian products,” said Amir Ullah Khan, a wholesaler, pointing to a fashionable water gun.

The gun, called “Rain Storm”, has two barrels that can supposedly shoot jets of water up to a distance of 50 metres. The best part is it comes with a portable water tank that can be worn on the shoulders.

There are also “Made in China” guns that are small enough to be concealed in one’s palm and cost as low as Rs.30, while the larger ones could cost anywhere above Rs.500 ($11).

Out here the local NetIP says screw that to talk of wimpy water guns:

Don’t have plans for Holi? Why not join NetIP-LA for some paintball? Come out for a day of fun and excitement at SC Village, one of the most popular paintball parks in Southern California. The park has up to 20 different themed courses, ranging from jungles with rivers to cityscapes to military camps.

That’s right. That’s how we do. Some real guns. West Siiidddeee for life. I don’t think I have ever actually participated in a Holi activity. After reading Wikipedia’s description I feel like I am missing out:

The first day, a bonfire is lit at night to signify the burning of Holika. The second day, known as Rangapanchami, people go around throwing colours at each other. A special drink called bhang is also consumed, which actually contains small amounts of marijuana to make the festival more enjoyable.

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