The Atlantic Monthly has a small piece this month about wagering on the January outing of a character on the Simpsons (subscription required). An Ireland-based betting site offered odds on the identity of the closet-dweller, but halted plays when large amounts of money started floating toward Marge Simpson’s sister, Patty.

Resident Indian-American Apu Nahasapeemapetilon was among the possibilities, because the “Kwik-E-Mart owner spends long hours away from his wife and children.” Still, he’s considered a long-shot, with 14 other characters deemed better choices.

On a related note, White House officials recently confirmed that any amendment banning gay marriage will extend to cartoon characters and muppet-lookin’ muthaf—-s.