“Hell-o!” she trills, happily.
“Ma! What! IÂ’m busy watching ‘Moses‘!”
(laughter)
“Sure you are. Listen, I need to ask you something.”
“You’re stopping me from being more Christian! Bad mummy!”
“Oh, please kochu. The church will collapse when you next walk in. Anyway, are you still in touch with your cousin Susan I…….?”
“Yeah, mos def. Why?”
“Her father is trying to reach me at home…”
“We’ve had the same phone number for 22 years–“
“Edi blonde, would you be quiet if you’re not going to think before talking?”
“Moses! I’m missing Moses! It’s a miniseries and you’re interrupting part one, yo.“
“Ohhhhh. Sure, no worries. IÂ’ll email her tonight.”
“Not his cell phone, I want his home phone number.”
“Um, okay.”
“I don’t want to call his cell phone. ItÂ’s no emergency.”
“One, you funny lady. Two, MOSES! Moooooses! Let my people go! He’s about to say it and I donÂ’t want to miss it. Damn, Ma…”
“Since WHEN do YOU want to watch ‘the ten commandments’?”
“Since Naveen Andrews is Moses’ adopted brother– he might be Mallu according to The Website, I canÂ’t remember what we hashed out in the comments. And this Tamil model named Padma Lakshmi is a TERRIBLE Princess Bithia-“
“You’re watching an Indian version of ‘Moses’??”
“It would seem so, but no. Those are the only two in the cast…but they’re south Indian. Wacky, right? And those are two huuuuuge parts in terms of importance.”
“So you’re watching ‘Moses’ to lust after some actor, NOW it makes sense…”
“Not SOME actor, THE actor…he’s on this show called ‘Lost‘, it’s mad popular, Ma.”
“Never heard of it.”
“Stop watching the Disney channel and go watch their useless ABC network. Actually, donÂ’t. Even I donÂ’t watch it.”
(split-second of silence)
“MOM. Guess who hit on me? A doctor! Hell is going to freeze over!“
(snap. crackle. pop?)
“Mom? MA. Hello?”
(redial)
“MOM. Aiyo, ninde paringyeh poothieh veety!”
“Is he good looking-oh no. Mone, I have to go, uhÂ…company is here!”
(Faintly, in the background, heavily accented mallu voice of Orthodox priest: “Vat did your daughter just SAY??”)
“Moooooooses!”
“Let your mother go. Good-BYE.”
:+:
Part two airs tonight at 9pm in most markets (the Snoopy Easter special is at 8!)– check your local listings. 😉
Aw, Padma wasn’t that bad was she 🙂 Granted – she was better on Star Trek.
Actually, when I heard that Naveen Andrews was in the film, I thought that he’d have the lead role.
padma has this weird way of enunciating words in this particular role (not familiar with her others)…it’s so distracting. she’s okay. naveen totally outshines her, though. when he was cradling his son/confronting moses? yowza.
Oh shucks, I had no idea they did a remake! I’m a big fan of the original version, I have to make sure I record the sequel to this version, at least.
Salman must not be able to believe his luck everytime he wakes up in the morning and sees this statuesque brown Queen lying beside him.
A question to all the ladies. Would you fall in love with a guy who wasnt all that to look at, just because he was a literary genius? I have to know, because I’m not all that to look at (I’d give myself 7 out of 10 on a good day) and am in the process of mastering the literary genius side of things.
yeah, neither did she, hence the lack of notice. it came on right after “wife swap”, much to everyone in the bunker’s shock. not one tip sent in on ‘the naveen’ showing up in a new role which requires a skimpy outfit? shame on all of you. 😉
i rushed home to watch it as well. was it just me or did that burning bush look really weird…
No
😉
I do make exceptions for bloggers, if not literary geniuses.
That’s literary discrimination.
I might have to get a fatwa then for the glamourous danger instead. Maybe that will help.
Apparently, Jean Paul Sartre was a big hit with the ladies too.
crap! i forgot, and missed the first 1/2, are they going to repeat it u think? the original is my all time fav. movie. andrews is one of the most underated actors of all time, u should see him in Budha of Suburbia with roshen seth.
k. I totally love Naveen but why did they straighten his hair? Egyptians don’t have curly hair? in some scenes he looked like an 80’s hair-band reject. 🙁 poor naveen.
padma is so hot..even in that nonsensical movie BOOM damn rushdie!
PS: rushdie, on the other hand, is one of the most evil looking guys of all time…
Yeah – the burning bush was wierd. Also they needed James Earl Jones to do the voice-over. The whole film was a bit too understated – I’m still a fan of the DeMille film!
I’d give myself 7 out of 10 on a good day
are the values on the x axis distributed in a gaussian fashion?
It depends on how many drinks the person checking me out has had.
Milan, You mean Rushdie is a literary genius?
I saw Padma on that awful Jeremy Pivens show last night where he was enthralled by India’s exoticism (mangoes, yogis, monkeys..oh my!).
Also… arranged marriages, yoga, spitituality, “swami ji”, sitar sounds, “can you share with a mantra or give me an Indian name?”, lots o’ cows…
India is a world leader in spit-ituality. Paan-thooking, as one commenter said.
Hmm not really. I’m not into literary types but geeks um um um um um… And the 7 out of 10…who constitutes the 10? Neuman or Jerry? 😉
Some might say. I am not sure though. But he certainly has something.
From the women I hang out with, the tens these days are Gerorge Clooney, Jake Gyllenhal, John Abraham.
Milan ,
You are a lucky guy! A 7! I am more a 5 and only go out on days I am a 8 ( 5 is the mean and a standard deviation of 3). I managed to land a gal who is clearly a 8.
Don’t worry about the mean and do not waste your time with the literary stuff. Just increase the standard deviation.
LOL I’m with him. The literary stuff is just narrowing your field. You can be lots of different things on different days, expand the horizon of chicks that way. At 7 you shouldn’t have issues.
I always wonder how people figure the range thing. Your friends like you hence they are friends with you of course they are going to say you are attractive. Who wants friends around that tell you “Eh you are a 3”? hehehe
JOAT-
At this time, I’d like to refer you to exhibit A — http://www.hotornot.com Yes, the OTHER website that I’m obsessed with.
Rushdie was pretty hot in his salad days, I think. But now..I dunno, call me old-fashioned but I’m all for dating within your age group. If you’re old enough to be my dad, you’re too old to be sexy.
oh man.. i can’t understand the manglish you wrote!
I’m glad to know I’m not alone. My attempt : Aiyo, ninde (your) paringyeh (??) poothieh (new?) veety(house ?)!
Also: how did the show end ? Did Moses part the red sea ? Did he get to the promised land ? The suspense is killing me 🙂
Ditto, cicatrix, ditto! I can’t say I know Salman or Padma personally, but as for other May-December romances that I do personally know (involving uber-accomplished men with hawt young thangs), the guys are way too defensive about the smarts of their girlfriend. And sometimes they are a little too easily impressed and personally, I find that insulting. I’ve matured so much just in the last 5 years alone and I’m really excited about who I’m going to be 5, 10, 15 years from now. Aging is sexy!
wow. that was awesome
If you’re old enough to be my dad, you’re too old to be sexy.
I thought old-fashioned went for May-December pairing.
How about Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, Amitabh B. etc? Would you pass them up the if the opportunity arouse?
Even Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Shah Rukh Khan are not spring chickens.
Would you fall in love with a guy who wasnt all that to look at,
Define wasn’t all that to look at? if 10 = clooney and you are 70% as good looking as him, you’re probably fine.
I think a lot of guys shortchange themselves. I know a lot of perfectly good looking guys who clean up good–but rarely clean up. As the resident den-sister, I have a birds-eye view of their successes and failures. It’s amazing what neat clothes, self-confidence and being in decent shape can do.
Re:PL & SL—I’m not going to psychoanalyze them, but I think dating someone who has children in your age group has just got to be awkward. Looks has nothing to do with it. No
😉
I do make exceptions for bloggers, if not literary geniuses.
Yikes Taz, you just opened the field right open. 😀
Oh, so the comment I was going to leave. My strongest memory of watching the Heston version is how one of the princesses–the one who crushed out on Moses?–was always going, “Mo-ses” in this particularly drawn out, moany way. Me and my sister went around for days throwing our hands and going Mo-ses! Does that happen in this one?
my malayalam isn’t THAT bad, you haters.
the “p-” word you can’t figure out is something bad. ashvin got the rest right. “new house”.
re: the big debate of good looking guys etc.
has anyone noticed just the general disparity b/w the genders in south asian communities re: looks.
salman and padma are an extreme case of this, love his books, but seein the two of them together makes me think she must have a brown anna nicole complex or somethin’ goin’ on.
maybe this is just a caricature from old bollywood films where the moustached one with a little paunch leads his fair and lovely princess of into the sunset…
but a south african friend of mine was walking with me around town and (think NZ must be the new place to film b-grade hindi films, score for us!!) we saw some people filming a definite b grade south indian movie.
lo and behold the guy with elvis hair, fat little tummy, red leather jumpsuit and thick moustache. the girl looked like she could have been a padma in the making.
why, i ask, why are we girlies so beautiful?? Muahahahahahahaha
*off into the sunset.
and i’m not sayin there aren’t some loverly exceptions out there among south asian guys… just whether other people have notice this stereotype.
my south african mate alleges that most south asian couples she has seen seem to have this problem – bootiful girly, ‘nice personality’ for the boy
The term “most” would be an exaggeration — although not necessarily with regards to the older generation(s). However, I would agree that there is a disproportionate tendency for this situation amongst some quarters of the 2nd generation too. I think it’s a relic of the feudal/status-driven culture still prevalent within South Asian society, including the diaspora to some extent — an above-average emphasis on the guy’s status and a commensurately greater focus on the woman’s looks. You basically end up with people applying an arranged-marriage mentality (and the affiliated “criteria”) in a love-marriage situation, although they’re not always consciously aware that they’re behaving this way.
Hell the fact alone that women are measured by their looks/youth and men are measured by their wealth should tell you that this isn’t a Indian thing, it’s a universal thing. If anything the younger generation is attempting to even it out…not settling for the “guy with the personality” if you are hot/smart/accomplished etc woman. By the same token I think men are looking for a chick with the body and the brain. Though the other way around is not likely to happen anytime soon. Guys don’t go for girls with “personalities”, it’s a perk but not the initial attraction factors.
Absolutely correct although my point was that it may be a little more pronounced amongst Indians/South Asians compared to the majority population, even amongst Western-born desis. But yes times are changing, although there are many young South Asian women who are still “encouraged” by their parents to specifically consider only higher-status men for marriage, with less simultaneous emphasis on notions of “chemistry”, deep mutual affection or the woman actually finding the guy really attractive in the physical sense.
Some women do this voluntarily although it depends on their own personalities and social circles.
And yes I know that there are very large numbers of South Asian men who similarly “commodify” potential wives too much and are basically looking for a “trophy wife”, an attitude which is often actively encouraged by many desi parents (of sons).
You say “ninde” to your mother? The whole line is messed up.
The Ten Commandments
Padma carries on the South Indian Tradition ? women with brains & Beauty. Rekha, Aishwarya Rai & Hema Malini to name a few.
Why do you care? Even she doesn’t. Po verre pani nthoke.