You know me by now good readers. I am normally not one to do a fluff post here on SM but I feel I must draw your attention to someting sent to me. All bloggers use some service to keep track of who visits their website (how many hits, where are they from, etc.). We swear that we won’t turn over our records to the Bush administration. Many sites, including our own, use Sitemeter. Sitemeter also tells you the search term someone keyed in to a search engine like Google to arrive at a blog. Earlier, blogger Suhail Kazi brought this to my attention. It is a screenshot of the sitemeter keeping track of his blog (see the last line). The internet is apparently buzzing with people desperately looking to substantiate rumors swirling around Manish’s trip to India.
What is Manish really doing in India? Is he keeping his fellow mutineers in the dark? You know me. I’m not one to gossip but I’m just saying…
Hang on a sec. I thought the whole “Manish is going to India” episode was part of the elaborate hoax for April Fool’s Day.
Nope not so. As I always tell my mother, “the best lies are a version of the truth.”
I look at SM site meter quite often and some searches are good!!
Sample this :
http://www.google.com/search?hs=K3w&hl=en&lr=&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial_s&q=animal%20sperm%20in%20human%20girls&btnG=Search
I have setup my browser not to send referrer info though.
How to disable this on firefox
1) type about:config in your browser address bar
and modify the value of network.http.sendRefererHeader to 0 (zero)
OMG, that’s hilarious. I’ve gotten some damn good referall logs, but that totally tops it.
My two favorite—someone landed on my blog looking for [Rishi Veronica engaged]
(Rishi is one of best friends and one of my guest bloggers, and Veronica was apparently the spokesperson for sesame street that I had bloggeda bout once, but their names were both on the index for a while.)
and
[sex] in a google blogsearch box, which landed them on my friend Colin’s guestpost about “Eight sexy, sexy, legs” and cephalopod sex (a frequent topic over at my blo)–the funny part about this is that the poor searcher was in Saudia Arabia.
As I always tell my mother, “the best lies are a version of the truth.”
Abhi, why are you trying to mix your mother up in your nefarious adventures? Does Yo Dad know about this?
Now if only you could track down who searched that phrase … Manish could have his very own fan club!
Saheli: I know my boy more than he thinks I know him !! He has in the past hoodwinked his Mom with sweet talks and “a version” of truth. However, I see right thru his “smart” ways of beating around the “BUSH”. Tell him that “Father Knows Best”. Ha Ha.
Saheli:
Rishi and Veronica engaged could also be a reference to Rishi Rich, the UK based producer who allegedly used to date one of the singers he works with, Veronica. All are signed to 2.9 productions.
or with the Veezher in town, anxious minds just want to know if they need to invest in that new luxe chastity belt (with velvet lining) from Porbandar Foundry.
Hahahaha busted again!!!
I’m all curious now to know what’s going on in Mumbai. The Vijmiester might be offering salsa lessons to all the damsels in distress. I could send over some Bal Thackerey goons from east Bandra to check on him on the west side, on assignment for SM of course. Just say when.
I got “slazzy Indian girls” once… dude can’t spell.. we are SLEAZY damnit!
Manish Vij marriage proposal
That’s awesome!! All the Aunty-jis in Mumbai are getting their chunnis in a knot trying to make sure their “lovely, veatish, sharp-featured” daughters get the chance to meet such a Suitable boy 😉
and he’s going there for six months? Pfft..I’ll bet good money that he’s engaged in three, and upon his return will rent out his hipster loft/batcave, extricate himself from this pajamahadeen nonesense, and find a nice place in Jersey for him and the missus.
$5 to get in, over/under at three months, point spread of 20 days. Anyone? Anyone?
You guys think that’s bad? I always get wierdos posting bizarre messages after searching for ‘Indian sex’ (ok so I mistakenly did a story titled “The south Indian sex scandal beyond belief”) and ‘Sania Mirza sex’ (for which I blame Bongbreaker Rohin who did a story titled “Sex! Scandal! Balls! Sania Mirza serves up more controversy”).
Cica, I’ll go “over” and say 5 months. He will need three months to date a girl, two to write a romantic South Asian lit. novel about the courtship, and then the last month will be the marriage. 🙂
Hehehe I’ve gotten the following: “janeofalltrades”+”naked” (like I’m stupid enough to post nakked pics of myself on my blog doh) “indian men”+”jive dancing” “indian men”+”dating” “indian men”+”sex” “indian men”+”cooking” “indian men”+”culture” “indian men”+”underwear” “indian men”+”love” Sigh…you get the idea.
Crap, Abhi. You’re right. I should go over and say 6 months… let’s not forget the month he’ll need to hammer out that clause in his publisher’s contract that gives him final approval over the cover 😉
Teh Kazi : Manish ibn-e-*${YoDad} Vij, kya tumne fairnlovely-binte-${herDad} ko 10001 naqad SM RSS subscribers meher de kar apne nikaah mein qubool kiya?? Manish (nervously): jee haan. Teh Kazi : naushe miyaaN, zor se bolo. Manish : Jee Haan, Mein ne Qabool Kiya
Abhi standing next to Manish, collecting gifts (even stealing some of it), ‘checking’ out other ‘suitable material’ for his future, Anna as best woman, while Ennis does his bhangra jig.
*not to be confused with Abhi’s YoDad. (btw, someone in N.Dakota needs to investigate if Abhi’s YoDad is awesomely for real or what? He’s more than tres-cool man!) :p
On a serious note, aside from all the pr0n queries, the most asshilarious, desperate query I’ve ever got was, “need shayari and Kazi now for Bandra court marriage”. (note that ‘now’) Bandra being the suburb in Bombay where there’s a court for pvt. regtd. marriages. Imagine a guy who has eloped with his gal, somewhere near Bandra marriage court at 9:00 am (before the court opens at whatever guvernement time it opens) trying to figure out from some cybercafe(there’s not much wi-fi to steal back in desh) whether he can still arrange a last minute Kazi or not? And the most touching and beautiful query I ever got was, “urdu and hindi sher o shayari for 60 year old”. I shed drops of ‘khushi-ke-aansoo’ when I read that. And on an even more serious-er note, I’ve actually helped some Pakistani girl’s e-ngagement in California by sending her Indian friend some shayari pieced together in the form of a ‘sehra‘ conversation (High time I blogged it). This internet thing is really wonderful. Someday I’ll become a full-fledged Kazi..you never know. Ofcourse Manish’s case would be a good jumpstart.
Manish, look man, you takes your chances. Mauqa bhi hai aur mahal bhi. And you are in Bandra as well which is like paan-thooking distance from my place. And didn’t I tell you that I’ll be in Bombay next month? I can cut a pkg-deal for you, with honeymoon in Kerala thrown in as a blogger’s discount. So tell me, what you saying? 😀
I turn my back for one day and Abhi’s already gotten me back for Tripa-in-tutu. Which you should click on often.
Yes please. Also include photo thumbnail and certification of gender.
Can you get Sonali de-married, and does she like Kerala?
Three months ?! Hey man, he could get (un)lucky and hook up with a girl whose parents insist that he makes a decision after 2 dates. The third date is the engagement.
Arranged marriage, traditional Indian-style 😉
Damn funny!
i’ll take the over. he’s going to get waay too many applicants to handle in just three months. plus, because he’s greedy, he’s going to keep hoping there’s an even better one coming next.
Don’t got no photos, but considering that the query came from Milpitas, it’s quite safe to assume that the gal (or her dad) works for Cisco, which I’m sure you know make lakhs of routers for the internets, which translates to gajillion$, which by desi lavish Punjabi dowry standards amounts to atleast a loft somewhere in Manhattan.
Anything for you, buddy. It’s simple actually. We just have to get her husband drunk one night at some Bollywood party and make him say ‘talaq’ thrice in sleep. Then I can use my clout to gather all the ‘local’ leaders (back home, we get them like ‘chavanni ke ek, rupaye ke paanch’). Ofcourse there’s a small matter of first converting them to Islam, but me being a certified Kazi can take care of that as well. You see I work with my clients to provide end-to-end solutions!
because he’s greedy,
That’s just the factor for ordinary men. Our man Vij is no ordinairy picky man. He’s going to be grilling them on their knowledge of culture, art, fabric and code. And carefully listening to make sure they never use a spicy metaphor. These things take time. Patience, children. I know we all want to go to a big ole Sepia wedding, but use the extra time to iron your saris and sherwanis.
Manish, are you journaling your days in India anywhere? It would be good research for my (hopefully) upcoming trip 🙂
Oh, and by journaling, I mean more than your breakfast meals and early morning walks =)
Yeah I second that Sonia. Dude where is the desh blogs man? We are all waiting here with baited breath!!
But those are the best parts (the rest may not be PG 😉 )
Actually, I just want to see them actually grill culture. Mmm, crappy movie flambe.
That’s hilarious!
But now that I think about it, if I can’t find a story or post, I do google whatever words I recall from that story or look for my previous comments or someone else’s comments (it works)…. the combinations could be quite bizarre if you didn’t know the searcher’s intentions.
But, “Manish VIg marriage proposal”???? What story are people looking for? Was there a posting about this?
Aw, ruin the fantasy. They might have been searching for this.
Shouldn’t y’all be betting on a Forty Days and Forty Nights scenario?
Observing the surroundings, she finds Batwoman lying in the streets. ,