The XXth Olympic Winter Games are just a few weeks away. Guess what? The U.S. team doesn’t have a single desi athlete representing? What gives? Aren’t there any Mohinis or Rajs out there that like the snow? There will be one desi participating at least:
Uday Joshi, SportsCenter [ESPN STAR Sports’] presenter will create history on January 18, 2006, by being the first man of Indian origin, to be one of the celebrity Torchbearers for the XXth Winter Olympics, which commenced in Genoa, Italy in December 2005…On being part of the relay team, Uday Joshi, said “This is a big honor for me. I am personally very proud and happy to be a part of the relay. At the same time it is a very humbling experience to be suddenly pushed in an esteemed group of the biggest athletes in the world…” [Link]
In truth, I think there will be four athletes from India at the games (although I was hard pressed to find mention of them in the news). I couldn’t find any athletes from other South Asian countries, so perhaps readers can fill me in. The realization that even now in 2006 there are a dearth of desi athletes, has left me quite jaded. I took it upon myself to do something for my people, for South Asians both here and abroad. I searched the internet for an alternative. What could desis compete at AND have a chance to win at? The answer arrived a few days ago in my email inbox from my visionary friend Tushar:
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Witness how he mocks us |
The World Beard ChampionshipsNo brown people compete- it’s like the NBA before black people were allowed to play. Maybe five of us should enter…
Just hear me out people. Right now white folks DOMINATE this event. Just look at their website. Do you see a single brown face? The U.S. Beard Team even has their own blog. Yep. No desis. If I grew a beard I could kill a man with it in just one month. Its razor sharp texture makes for some lethal shit. Desis would absolutely dominate this competition. We’d be like the equivalent of the Kenyans in the marathon. I urge my people to rise up. Who will stand with me? Ennis? Amardeep? Vinod? If not now, then when?
The U.S. Beard Team? Haha. Wow, this needs to be posted on Sikhnet =)
vat? no liveblogging?
are there ear- and nostril-hair categories?
desi beards would crush all competition,total domination, same with desi nose hair, and arm hair
nita, you forgot the ear hair… 😉
I couldnt agree more.
We would sweep the women’s division also.
Our intelligent designer must have been playing a cruel joke when he decided to create such a wolly race a hot tropical subcontinent.
Don’t forget carpet-rug back-hair too 😉
Well, the hairier types are supposedly descended from people who came from the colder northwest…..(I’d better stop, we don’t want to have another Aryan Invasion Theory argument here !)
Our Iranian cousins will give us a preety good run for our money. (Although not from the subcontinent, an average Iranian is as hairy or more hairy than an average Indian)
oohhh man….and one of my buddies just told me his ARMS were hairy! ah, but a fuzzface fest…but still gotta agree, not half as great as a desi, especially singh face fuzz! i hope i get to be cheerleader or sotmhing to that extent.
Abhi one of the competitors is Shiva Keshavan. He’s been India’s entire Olympic team since the age of 16 – this (I think) is the first Winter Olympiad where he will be accompanied by teammates. Although I don’t know who they are.
Keshavan, a luger, just won two medals at the Asia Cup.
On the subject of Indian sport – with Sania crashing out early, the Australian Open is a bit more interesting for Indo-tennis fans as Mahesh Bhupathi and Wesley Moodie have drawn Bhupathi’s old partner, Leander Paes, in the men’s doubles, along with his partner Martin Damm. Rumours abound about the reasons they split. However I don’t know if there’s still any bad blood. Should be interesting.
Three Indians are also still in the mixed events, with Paes and Dechy having just knocked out the top seeds, Sania playing with home boy Huss and Bhupathi paired with a blast from the past, Martina Hingis. Perhaps he felt jealous of Leander’s success with Martina Navaratilova and thus selected the girl named after her.
Yes, Keshavan was the only name I could find in the Indian press. I would have assumed there to be more Olympic news in the Indian press but it does makes sense why there is none. You will probably see the usual flurry of Op-eds asking why there are so few Indian athletes and then nothing will be done at a national level. In the U.S. Olympian Bode Miller is on the cover of both Newsweek and Time Magazine.
I’m far more impressed by this guy’s beard. I can’t compete with that.
You know me Abhi, well not really, but you get my point. Right? Good. My point is that I’m very outspoken about the shitness of Indian sport and I follow sport in general closely, but expecting something about the Winter Olympics to be big news in India is a bit ambitious, don’t you think? Winter sports barely register in India. It’s like Cool Runnings (incidentally, Jamaica is now trying its hand at husky racing).
However, when the Olympics rolls around and India has got a sizeable team – no matter what the media do, there’s precious little to write about from an Indian point of view. I have no expectations that more than a handful of Indians will even know the Winter Olympics are going on.
That’s it Ennis. You are out. I don’t want quitters or whiners on my team. 🙂
This is exactly along the lines of my Magnificent Seven post from a few days ago. South Asians live in the shadow of the greatest freaking mountain chain on Earth. Nepalese people have evolved the fiercest set of lungs there are. We should be dominating winter sports. Cool Runnings was about a bobsled team from an island nation. I have hope that someday India and its neighboring nations will take the winter olympics seriously.
American Desis need to get your act together,
Representing the great sepia north…
Emanual Sandhu: Yeah he’s a male figure skater, I wasn’t going to say anything. But appearantly desi women think male ballet dancers are hot, so I figure the gayer the better.
Additionally I think that Curling would be well suited to the desi bodytype. If developed correctly I don’t think the day is far off when we see desi atheletes take on the great curling superpowers such as Saskatchewan and Denmark
Hey Abhi – I still have a headstart on your beard …
Torino was an orange drink in India. the funny thing is, i tried doing a google search, and i couldn’t find anything. Does anybody else remember?
Really though, i would think the cost of winter sports would be one reason India is not too prominent in the race for the Winter Olympics, especially since so much of its population cannot get actively involved in it. As a country, indians call all go out and play cricket or football or even basketball somewhere, but they’d all have to go north to find some good skiing.
Emanuel Sandhu – that’s a cool link. I’ve never seen a brown figure skater in my life. My Mum loves skating so I’ve been brought up watching loads. Somehow I turned out straight, weird. Curling’s played (?) by only a minute amount of people, but I don’t know about Denmark and Sasketchewan being superpowers – the defending champs are Great Britain and Norway! Norway and the Swiss are probs favourites.
Abhi I know the Himalaya are just on India’s doorstep, but that doesn’t mean much in itself. Following on from your post the other day, I said I studied Sherpa briefly. Take climbing Everest – the locals had never thought of clambouring all over Chomo Miyo Langsama; it was sacred. Sure that’s not the reason skiing remains a novelty in India, but habits rarely change without some outside influence. I’m optimistic too Abhi, but I doubt the Winter Olympics will EVER be a significant event in India. Hell, GB have a team and I don’t really care along with most Brits. The Winter Olympics aren’t that big an event full stop.
The World Cup and the Olympics – these are the places I want India reprazentin’ anew, yo.
However long it takes these guys to grow these out, I probably do it in half the time.
Ennis, I’m sure you could take that guy – you just need the right styling products. I love the category he’s in – “Partial Beard, Freesytle” – lol.
And the Greeks.
Latest news – the Secretary of YAS will attempt to win the heavyweight “butt-stroke” gold at the hairy olympics. For those of you not in the know, the YAS is the Youth Affairs and Sports ministry. http://yas.nic.in/. What an oddity!
urgghhh those mediterraneans, now that’s heavy competition
This may be off topic but Brandon Chillar the Linebacker of the St.Louis Rams[NFL] and forward manny malhotra of the Columbis Blue Jackets[NHL] are both half desi’s.
Don’t forget carpet-rug back-hair too 😉
ok…back hair is a bit much. thanks to a few singhs i know, i have new appreciation for chest hair. but the fuzz stripe is still the best.