The verdict was unanimous;’twas the best meetup EVER. Photographic evidence of that here.

October 30th, 2005, San Francisco: four current SM bloggers and six Bay Area mutineers met at North Beach’s yummy, caffeinated, iconic, no-worries-no-matter-HOW-long-we-stayed Caffe Greco and didn’t leave for six hours. Well, it was SEVEN for a certain guest blogger who forgot that daylight savings time commenced at 2, on Sunday. 😉 Hey–that’s what she gets for being so unbrown, i.e. on time. Had she been the standard I.S.T.-mandated hour late, she still would’ve been on time, except this time, with the rest of us. 😉

I attempted to live-blog the merriment, like I did the last time it was held in San Francisco; sadly, an unexpected lack of wireless prevented that. Forgive me for making you wait 48 hours? 🙂

Unpolished transcript, after the jump…Who showed:
Vinod
Ads
Simi
Kunal
Saheli
Gautam
Roopali
Maisnon
SJM

or, “FOUR malayalees out of NINE people?” 😉

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what we never knew: “I have all this love to give, and it comes out in my cooking!” – VVV on why his dinner party will be hawt

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“Vinod, do you cry while you cook?”
“How very ‘water for chocolate’!”
“that might be practical-“
“Kick me in the groin, IÂ’ve run out of salt!”

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a massively incorrect response to Vinod’s Che-esque Reagan shirt, which inspired a Cuban woman to approach him once:
“A rising tide lifts all boats!”

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Bharati – according to one attendee + guest blogger = she’s a great prof, “eh” writer

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now we know why every movie “trailer” is identical—thanks, gautam!

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anyone else here hear about this? Rove was knocked off his bike by a dem girl, who broke his nose? all his machinations since = grudge?

“if i HAD wireless, i’d be googling that shit right now!”

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the 8am guy walk of shame, the attempted “arrange” over condom-purchasing.

“uncleÂ…I am here for a FRIEND” – to the Punjabi uncle who was running a sex store, during a very necessary condom run at 8am, after 12 hours of blue torture

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dead Pomeranian puppies (thanks, debby downer!)

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The rabbit. The dildo. The cases these baby lawyers have to take!!!

this is the most porno SM meetup EVER (“it should be S and M!”)

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almost appropos of nothing: MP3 is a twelve-year old format!

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“could you HAVE a more complicated email address?”
“If itÂ’s easier for you, I also have GLOBAL_DOMINATION at _______.”

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“Houston is the REAL new jersey of America!”

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STILL NO INTERNET, no matter how many confident men fondle my apple.

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SanskritÂ…is like garanimals? everything is matched for you?

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“eryouendian?”
“I’m whoever you VANT me to be, honey”

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from the most lawsuit-ready interview ever: “oh, so you’re a citizen. That’s good.”

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the reason why ADS rocks so very hard, also, best moment of meetup:

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“So she was at Star market in somerville, ma (near Cambridge).

clerk: “are you chinese? oh, my s-i-l is Chinese! Her name is gang bang chang, but we call her ling-ling, that’s Chinese for Yolanda”

(violent guffawing, choking and howling)

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“Puerto rico?”
“that’s a fun game.”

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lawyers, lawyers everywhere:

“Before the monkey king is deposed—”
“WAIT. whoÂ’s taking his deposition??”

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saheli: I like to draw mahabharat family trees. For four hours.

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“Can I get my ear pierced?”
“No.”
“But mom, the PANDAVAS all did!”

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Ah, SF. Where Macs rule.

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File under “Hmmm”: we say first-class, yet the brits say PAKKA!

“Anna, I think you should say that this meetup was first-class.”

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The da vinci code “test” of potential dates…which is apparently so obvious, I don’t need to explain it here, either.

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Speaking of useless and entertaining websites:
bitchmakemeasandwich.com

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blue tongues

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“I like your zipper”
“it’s how you tell that it’s a REAL dooney, apparently”

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re: a two year waiting list for handbags! kelly vs berkin
kunal: “you’re wrong, that’s not the one with the waiting list-“
maisnon: “you two can take it outside…”

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gautam: “if you have connections to the underworld, you can get them…(nodding) you know-”
smurfette: “have you…such connections? b/c if you DO, i want a Kelly”

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taking pictures from each of our perspectives, after Saheli requests we do so with her cam

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maisnon points to gautam’s hat- SF JAZZ
“Oh. I thought it said SPAZZ”
“THAT should be your comment name, when you finally DO comment on SM”

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“the worst scenario is when the prof has written the book-“
“i had a prof who did that, but then took all of us out to a kegger w/the proceeds”

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“Oooh, your gelato, saheli! I want lipstick that color!” (for the record, it was blackberry)

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motorcycle jackets that match someone else’s outfit= serendipitous

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more useless websites, this time with a theme:

cats in sinks

infinitecats

stuff on cats

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“if youÂ’re going to give me lung cancer, can you do it with something better than fucking parliaments?”

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“WeÂ’re all Bengali! This is an aÂ…how do you say it saheli?”
“Say what?”
“a…dda?”
“oh! Adda!”

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glam vs geek. the varying percentages of both = how certain mutineers– cough! vij! sneeze! vinod! –choose their ideal vomen 😉

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maisnon to vinod: “say GLAM again!”

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saheli: “that was a spider…that I was trying to stalk.”
anna: “you were stalking a pregnant arachnid?”

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saheli: no one commented on my best photoshop job! I was really proud of that!

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“You know what I had last night that was soooo good?? Salted sweet mandarin peel!”

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“Would you like a mint? An icebreaker?”
(bends towards it) ‘Sniffffff’
“no.”

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playing karom with icebreakers! which leads to… “hey, you should have an SM karom tournament” 😉

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female mutineer #1: “Did you see that Indian girl give us a dirty look?”

Anna: “YeahÂ…in my peripheral vision, totally.”

female mutineer #2: “Am I the only one who didnÂ’t see this?”

Anna: “If I didnÂ’t have this beautiful piece of perfection (massive metal powerbook) in my lap, I wouldÂ’ve been all, “bitch, wanna take this outside?”

SJM: “beautiful perfection? But IÂ’m not in your lap!”

Anna: (blank stare)

SJM: “IÂ’m hittinÂ’ and just missinÂ’ tonightÂ…”

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yet another thing we learned: the Indian army drinks lots of Johnny b/c they didnÂ’t have to pay the 100% tax

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so inevitable:

A: “That fucking leprechaun of a bartender at Dhamaal last night and his bullshit last call-“
1: “Did he have a pot of gold?”
2: “Was he after your lucky charms?”

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Wheatish! the cereal of brown champions (ahem. don’t you have something to DO, Kunal?) 😉

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“I AM Hinduism”

“Really? Are you Hinduism, this is Christianity speaking.”

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“wait, what did i just miss??”
“let’s do a re-enactment”

“I really want to marry a Malayalee Christian.”
“well, a Punjabi is the closest thing!”
“aaaaaand scene.” (saheli and anna clap)

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Kunal: “there IS indian erotica, in Bombay there was porn magazines-“
Anna: “wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that there is a brown penthouse, where there are letters like, “I came home from my work and there was my vife vith the maid, and first I vas veddy angry but then I thought “hey, maybe this is my lucky day?”
SJM: “iÂ’m so glad you said that before I did, and IÂ’ll just add, vould you like to taste my masala dosa?”
Gautam: “It comes with special coconut chutney.””

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“youÂ’re cold? With THAT Punjabi man pelt? Dude, youÂ’re like Shahloub! SHAHLOUB!”

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“you know what I had for dinner last night—”
“masala dosa???”
“Owww, my EYES. Now, dosas are RUINED…”

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“So I wrote, ‘Paneer it up’ in my post about this meetup-“
“I donÂ’t get the pun”
“PaneerÂ…? Like cheese?”
“You know, you say ‘cheeese’ in pictures?”
“Oho- now I get it”

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SJM, accusingly: “Anna, my nipples are sore!”

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SJM: She says these dirty things, and doesnÂ’t even realize it as sheÂ’s saying it!
Maisnon: But, thatÂ’s cute.

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Eight people walking down Columbus, in clusters b/c the sidewalk is narrow thanks to all the outdoor cafe tables.

SUV filled with young hooligans passes slowly, catcalling and declaring, “HEY! Come here! We want to talk to you!”

indignant, horrified response: “I DON’T WANT YOUR COCONUT CHUTNEY!”

…aaaand…scene.

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A special “Thank you” to, Kunal, who let me borrow his powerbook when my iBook ran out of juice in an area with no electrical outlets, then emailed me my notes. There would be no proof of pr0n without you. 🙂

An even bigger, more exuberant THANK YOU to everyone who made laughing away SIX HOURS so easy, so memorable, so addictive. We must do it again, and soon.