I hear there’s a new lawman in town

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Uttar Pradesh has a plan to combat rising crime in the state.  It has decided to deputize some unlikely “lawmen.”  Radio Australia reports:

A pride of lions is to be unleashed in India’s Uttar Pradesh state to help combat crime.

But environmentalists fear the lions might be the ones needing help in the face of sharp-shooting bandits blamed by police for 4,000 abductions and 180 murders in the region over the last five years.

Mohammed Hasan, Uttar Pradesh chief wildlife warden in the state capital, Lucknow, says zoos have already been contacted to assist with the plan.

I am not sure about this.  Lions are known for their excessive brutality during arrests.  That is why they were banished from the NYPD several years back.

A previous attempt to establish a sanctuary in the region of Chandraprabha, in eastern Uttar Pradesh, initially appeared to succeed.

The lion population grew from three to 11 animals, but then the cats disappeared, presumably shot or poisoned.

Nobody likes to hear about a 187 on an undercover cat.  This would be a great way to deal with the Meth problem in rural U.S. states as well.

7 thoughts on “I hear there’s a new lawman in town”

  3. My thesis is that this is a case of set a thief to catch a thief. My incontrovertible evidence is drawn from a Bollywood movie. Ofcourse.

    “Ajit: Mona daaaaarrrrling…..Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai.”

  4. will take a lot more to dislodge the fat cats who control the moral depravity that passes for a system in UP. one solution : Take kashmir- get bihar and UP free.

  5. Hey tragicomix. The UPites would prefer to remain Indian. thanks

    p.s. what would lok sabha assemblies be without Biharis throwing chappals at each other to prove their argument while their goons jump in front of the camera to prevent their Minister from being filmed?

  6. sadly the only thing that will happen if this was to ever take hold is that the criminals would just shoot the animals and further decimate the lion population. A better solution is to do what Homer Simpson did at Apu’s wedding and dress up as Ganesh and cast spells from a tree

  7. I was confused as to how lions can prevent crime so I read the article…apparently they are creating a “safari” in a high-crime area in the hopes of providing more public, lighting, safety, etc. I don’t think the lions themselves will do any crime prevention. It will however concentrate the entire lion population in one park to simplify the job for poachers.